How did you make mummy friends and keep them?

Gwen - posted on 01/22/2010

Wow. Mine are 22, 20, 18 and 3. Thinking back over what made the best mummy friends...I have never kept a clean house, and I too am embarrassed to invite people over. I tend to gravitate towards people who live in a similar manner so I don't have to worry about it. For a long time, one of my best friends became a workmate who'd had a baby after my first, and was looking for someone to hang out with. She kept calling me, but I didn't mind being paid attention to. We visited at each others' houses (mostly mine, which was okay with me), but we also met at playgrounds, or went to the zoo. We talked about work and our relationships. One of my very best friends and I parted ways for many years, until she had children when all her other friends were still childless. I suddenly became her best buddy again. I sincerely liked having her back. Is there someone like that you know, whose kids have gotten older but might be a little lonely for friendship? Who might not mind; might even enjoy being bothered? Children of different ages play together well; in fact a friend with an older child might even make your visiting a little easier. And I have to say, my sister-in-law with 4 children, 2 of them rather unruly, has been one of my best mummy friends. We'd invite each other to our children's programs; to family dinners; to outings we were taking, and it just got to be natural after a while if we were doing something, to call and invite the other. Our boys are all practically like siblings now. Her kids in fact endeared me to her brother, who is now my second husband. Most of the time I don't get to know other mom's very well either. Every now and then I really hit it off with someone, and one of us invites the other to do something. Most of the time it fizzles out, but sometimes it keeps going. I'm a bit of a loner, and it is like that for me. My mummy friends, despite how my post sounds here, have been sparse. But when those friendships do happen, they're very nice for the most part.

Mishel - posted on 01/22/2010

I used my daughters activites as a place to schelp friends! lol. dance, PT pre-school, McDonald's playland...I moved 2000 miles from home so I was important 2 me to find girlfriends as well as playmates for her. Start the convo w/a mom of a child urs is playin w/...how old? name of kid? only child? do u come here often? (sounds like corny pick up line, but it wrks!). Once uv bumped n2 them a few times invite them 2 meet the same place (or different) 4 a play date. do that until ur comfy swappin numbers! Good luck!

Elissa - posted on 01/22/2010

I also am the first in my group of friends to have a baby, although that wont be true much longer. And I dont like to invite people home because I have a huge bouncy mutt who jumps all over people and licks them half to death.



Find out what groups there are in your area. If you breastffed there may be a breastfeeding group nearby which also gives you support as well as giving you a starting point for building relationships.



There also may be mums and tots groups, nearby we have a young mums group where the kids go to a creche and the mums do crafts, work on computers, learn linedancing and other naff but fun things. Often these are run by community groups, councils etc and run with qualified childcare workers.



Also many swimming pools have mum and baby swim times. The thing I like about groups is you can be sociable for an hour or two a week at each one, then go home and there is no pressure to go beyond the group unless you really want to.



As important as it is to keep contact with your non-mummy friends, none of them will be able to sympathise and support you with baby things, so you need mum friends too. Good luck x

Donna - posted on 01/22/2010

I to was the first to have a baby in my friends to but what we did was made a place where we went for coffee and maby had lunch and my daughter would stay at home with her dad. I liked it where it was our place we chatted had coffee or even had a lunch. we didn't do it every week as we do have biz lives with jobs etc but we made sure we caught up at least once a month. I do it with a couple of mothers now. One friend who now has children we go to a play house where we have coffee and the kids play on the play ground. I prefer to meet people at the same place as it reminds me a bit of sex in the city as i love that show lol. best of luck hope i gave u ideas. x