how do i control my anger when someone makes a comment about my bi-racial grandbaby!!!!!

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Kathy - posted on 10/03/2009

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My husband and I are an interracial couple. We realize there are some unenlightened folks in the world. When people ask things like "What do you call your kids?" We say, "Their names." or "What ARE they?" or "What nationality/ethnicity do they consider themselves to be?" The answer is "AMERICAN." The ignorant people are actually few and far between. Once in a while someone will stare and we will wave at them like we know them. It's such fun.

Christina - posted on 10/03/2009

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Although it is undoubtedly tough to do ( seeing as I have a temper too). You just realize that these people are ignorant, and have no concept that Love knows no race. Try to hang in there. I hope things get better for you soon

Robin - posted on 10/06/2009

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Quoting Cinda:

I have a friend who used to get asked about her bi-racial daughter all the time. People would ask "What is she mixed with?" (like she was a dog or something). At first she would get upset, but then she came up with the best response!! She would respond with one word..."Love". It shut people up, corrected them, and made her feel better all at once. And the best part...she wasn't being rude back!!



I think that is an awesome story!! and the best thing I have heard on here! Good for her!

Terwanda - posted on 10/06/2009

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Post a reply! Pray 4 that person, for they do not kow any better.Childrens are a Blessing from GOD and he does not see color.

Cinda - posted on 10/06/2009

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I have a friend who used to get asked about her bi-racial daughter all the time. People would ask "What is she mixed with?" (like she was a dog or something). At first she would get upset, but then she came up with the best response!! She would respond with one word..."Love". It shut people up, corrected them, and made her feel better all at once. And the best part...she wasn't being rude back!!

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Marie - posted on 06/22/2012

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I dont live in America, were I live we hardily ever hear this sort of talk. America seems to be still 100 yrs in the past with al this talk about race.

People are people and we are all huns and have the same color blood underneath color or race, full stop.

Yes ignore or when you cant, make sure you child does not here you when you give a good tactful mouth full back, however even then it will not get through some heads.

Our child was distressed one day, told me was hurt that the teacher said was a twit and twitty, I asked a Teacher one time to please NOT to talk to our child in slang, eg twitty and twit, the teacher thought I was making a big deal out of nothing, however our child got the message "as being a put down," and one would not have to look at the Dictionary to know it actually was, and of corse the Teacher and principal had to try and argue with us there view,( although they were not we ones in a language change um and thus( choose not to try and see from "another point of view" this been of a young child in a language change! form one language to english) they then tried to pass things back saying we were giving our child mixed messages? Hugh? even though they were not patient enough to wait for us to say, that in fact"we had tried to explain "to our own child" that the teacher may of not meant this or that in that way, they were only set to defend themselves with no thought of what distress it cause our child um yeah right whatever.

However sadly some people ONLY think of themselves and how things should be viewed in their unlighted world,, where as Children also have feelings.
The facts remain no matter who some may try and hide their meaning of what they say, form their hearts they speak, and to another Heart this can be of a offense to others.

"Its always the intent "as well, their are some bitter and twisted people lout their, that know they can try and control others by what they say can hurt and choose not to give thought beofre they place their words out there mouths, thus giving them a false sense of power.

I had one stranger in a library say to me that she could see that our child was not ours? why I wonder just because of color? our child was also acting up a bit, " as all children do" when not getting their own way. At that time I did not let this woman off the hook, and told her she better shut her mouth as she has time to, and in stead of leaving things at that, once told, she still went on trying to mop up her words. Dumb begets Dumber we guess, thus don't keep any company of the very rude and stupid. And selfish begets selfish and it goes one and on.
Just ignore if you can ,and stand away from stupid. But never feel condemned if you feel and know it right to actually speak up, as children need to be shield for as long as you can away form ignorant people.

Carole - posted on 10/24/2009

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You did not say whether the comment was a compliment or not. If a compliment - say Thank you. From your title, I take it that the comment is negative. In that case it really depends on the comment, who said it and in what way? Not all comments from ignorant people are meant as negative and perhaps by responding in an understanding way you can help to educate people for the future. Don't assume that a comment is meant to be negative - otherwise you are showing the same ignorance.

Devrani - posted on 10/22/2009

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I am east indian descent and my husband is mixed of spanish and creole. My kids are so cuttte and you know something I am so proud of them. So whenever anyone obnoxious enough to make any stupid comments I dont even get offended because lets face it, they are jealous of the cuteness of our kids. Dont worry and above all be proud of them. Like my kids are to me, they are your trophies and to hell with the anyone who doesnt like that. In return those grandkids will have great confidence.

Aisha - posted on 10/18/2009

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I am biracial and so is my daughter. My mother used to get asked whose children she was babysitting and told how kind she was to rescue us from the 3rd world country she must have adopted us from.

If people are rude then by all means address it, but these people are just ignorant...feel sorry for them. Your anger is only hurting you and those you love, not those you are angry with.

Also, like some of the other replies, I am curious when I see other biracial kids. I think mixed kids are adorable. ( When someone asks me what I am I do tend to tell them I'm an American mutt. America is supposed to be a big melting pot - I'm a product of that - and proud of it)

And try to not get defensive to quickly. Recently I saw a little girl in the mall...and I stared...at her dress! While I was contemplating if it would be rude to run over and ask where they had gotten that fabulous dress (that woud look soooo cute on my daughter :), I saw the dirty look her adult companion was giving me. I felt regret for making her feel that I was being critical of the pretty child...and that she probably wouldn't be receptive to my asking about the dress.

Just remember that those who make offensive comments are the losers - they have missed getting to know wonderful people, all because they couldn't see past their own prejudices.

Good luck!

Marie - posted on 10/18/2009

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Don't respond . walk away and just love your precious grandchildren no matter what color they are . Help raise them to be wonderful young children who will grow up to be wonderful adults.

User - posted on 10/16/2009

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Some people are just not able to be taught. There is no black and white anymore. There are only shades of gray. And gray is a beautiful color.

Danielle - posted on 10/15/2009

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Ignore ignorrant comments. Remember that every precious child is a gift from are Lord God! Knitted in their mothers womb, fearfully and wonderfully made! May you Love beam down on your grandchild so bright no words from people will ever hurt his heart!

Brooke - posted on 10/15/2009

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I am a multi-racial woman & also have a multi-racial son and an interracial relationship. I have gotten the question about what my mix is my whole life, but I think lots of people are just curious, though sometimes they word their questions in an ignorant way. I try not to let that bother me & even educate someone in that moment. The thing about people asking what my "nationality" is usually makes no sense, as they can pretty much tell I'm American & speak English, so most likely I was born in America. What they tend to mean to ask is what my heritage or ethnic background is, and I'll just correct them and tell them that your heritage is what ethnicities you are made up of, races are based soley on your skin color & were basically developed by the government as a way to identify and/or classify people by their skin, so there are technically only a few "races", and then your ethnic background is where your ancestry lies, such as Mexican, or Irish, or Indian, or Chinese, etc. Lots of people just aren't informed or educated about what these definitions mean.



I'm bi-racial, because I'm mixed with two races, I'm multi-ethnic, because I'm more than one ethnic background, and my nationality is American, because I was born in America. All these things make me a beautiful Rainbow! People tend to be more inquisitive, I think, in regards to bi-racial or mixed black & white children, because America is so obsessed with the whole Black & White race thing. None of us chose who we would be, it's just silly that some people struggle to grasp that. Our skin doesn't define our heart, soul, or humanity.



We are all one race really, in my eyes, the human race. Anyone who can't celebrate the differences we all have and the differences & similarities we all bring to the world is probably living a pretty sad existence & I feel sorry for them. It's so much more refreshing to accept & love all people, than to wake up everyday being a hateful bigot. That's my take on the whole subject. So, I say who cares what someone comments, if it is negative about your bi-racial grandkids. Raise them to be strong, confident, loving people/citizens, that live their life surrounded by other people that value the same, that's all you can do!

Rachael - posted on 10/15/2009

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i agree with Dawn, if they are asking out of curiosity, maybe want to know what made such a beautiful baby that is one thing, but if they are asking b/c they dont approce that is another. i too would pose the question 'why do you ask?' before i give anymore information and if its an obvious negative statement be the bigger person ESPECIALLY if the granbaby is there to witness so they see how to handle ignorance, if the grandbaby isnt there i may have to approve boxing gloves, depending on what is said.

Jenny - posted on 10/13/2009

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mentally put them in a hot air balloon and let them float away you know how beautiful your grandchild will be

Lisa - posted on 10/12/2009

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well, i'm a bi-racial kid, i've 3 bi-racial babies. they look different. one looks like a brown headed, green eyed, lightly taned, skinny girl, one looks like a blone, slightly curly headed, blue eyed, ivory skined, rosey cheeked girl, and one looks like a brown haired, brown eyed, brown skined baby. i'm now taned, with dark brown hair and golden eyes, i started out being as white skined as my middle. but if you look past the coloring, my kids all look alike and they look just like i did at their ages. i was asked who i babysat for, i've heard ppl wonder how many men i'd been with (btw, they all have the same dad), and i've heard they are the most beautiful little girls ppl have ever seen. i've had those ppl ask if i thought about trying my kids out for children models. if the stupid people want to be stupid, then i'd ask what they ment point blank to their face and lay into them. when i was younger, a girl told my sister that God was going to send us to Hell because we were the result of the sin of our parents, she had read it in the bible. my sister asked her what verse and to show her, suprisinly enough, she couldnt. you will come across all kinds of people, my mother-in-law would tell you, you cant fix stupid. but i think you need to protect your granbaby and teach them they are perfect the way they are. it what my folks did with me and my sister, and its what i'm doing with my kids. and if you dont have your granbaby with you when they make the comment, you can remind them that this is america and we happen to have a bi-racial president so they can shut up, (i'd at this point spit on them and walk off, but you can do what you feel is best.). Good luck, Bi-racial babies are all over this country now, so dont let them get you down!

Frances - posted on 10/12/2009

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I guess it's how the person phrases the commentt or with what tone. I would make a game and play with it. I am married to a caucasian and I am hispanic. My son looks hispanic but my daughter looks white. If they said something derrogatory let's say about my children then I would respond (AGREE WITH THEM) Let them hear what they sound like..they may not be aware...then I let them know. It is just a suggestion..

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just tell them that it is none of their business and just to worry about their own lives instead of yours......and obviously if they are cutting down your grandchild that means they have problems with the way they look and have to hurt someone else just to feel better about themselves and jealousy

Tania - posted on 10/11/2009

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People are still commenting on things like that huh? To think at this day and age race is SUCH a big issue.

Well, first remember, everybody has an opinion. I'd come up with a standard response for all comments, not a nasty one just something simple (I'll give an example soon my wheels are turning fast).

But you can always counter people's comments by taking the focus off of you and putting it on them, that's a sure fire way to get them to back off.

In the back of your mind remember this, all children have been given their place on earth, and NOT by accident. So simply reminding them of that alone should be good enough. Or you can talk about how cute he/she and how distingueshed he/she will be from ALLLLLL the other generic children in the class/daycare/church-whatever!

Good luck and be patient with others...they can be a handfull

Nytrice - posted on 10/10/2009

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I agree with most of the people when they say don't respond to it but its hard not to say anything. I don't know if I could be quiet if someone disrespected my family enough to be rude. I think it depends on the comment because some are just so unbelievalbel I would just laugh at them and keep going.

Jennifer - posted on 10/10/2009

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Comment directly to them that your grandbaby is the most beautiful child. You should also ask them if they agree with you. Dont get mad and give them the satisfaction. I have 3 bi-racial children and have always taught them that everyone is perfect in their own way cuz if God made us all the same the world would be a boring place.

Barb - posted on 10/10/2009

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Look at that person who is saying it! do you really care what that person thinks? I usually feel sorry for them because they don 't know any better.

Lori - posted on 10/09/2009

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As many others have said....consider how small minded they truly are and how sad a life they must lead if they limit themselves to only getting to know those who look like themselves. Your grandchildren, I am sure, are wonderful, happy and loving people and if the ignorant folks who make impolite comments would look past the color of their skin I am sure they would see their beautiful personalities.....and that is what is important. Remember the problem isn't with you or your grandkids....be the bigger person and walk away, let the ignorance stop there. Leave the problem with the ignorant people and take the high road, always knowing that you are in the right for loving those beautiful kids.....don't let those poisonous people poison you or your grandkids by making you angry in return.....those stupid people aren't worth it. Show your grandkids how to hold their heads high and walk that high road, always being that better person, no matter what. Be the role model they are looking for you to be. Then, when your grandkids aren't around, vent to your dearest friend about what you wished you could've done....had it been legal of course! :) Yelling and venting always helps later!

Jessie - posted on 10/09/2009

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Laugh at these people and say 'ooooo whatch out bi-racial baby ooooooo scary!' I mean really, People are actyally offended by the race of a child?!?! what is the world comming to?

skin is an organ that is used to protect the body from environmental influences. The skin holds our body together and it stops the internal organs from falling on the ground as we walk. Colour is just a evolotionary thing, ie we all came from differant places some places were hot and some were cold. and that's all.

ooo bi-racial baby, it might eat them! lol stupid people, I bet they can't tell you anything about the skin.

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I am a Hispanic brunette married to a brunette American Italian...when we moved to a new neighborhood with our blond hair, blue eyed children... Neighbors would see me outside watching the kids play & thought I was their Nanny. People have no clue as to the complexity of the genetic pool that make humans unique. I dislike labeling my childrens ethnicity on school papers. Who came up with "Other" as an option or any category at all?

Lori - posted on 10/09/2009

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I agree w/the last post, consider the source and don't waste your time and emotion on them. There have always been and always will be inconsiderate and rude people. Instead of being angry turn it around and pity these people who judge sweet innocent children.

Martha - posted on 10/09/2009

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I think you should feel sorry for them. I am sure your grandchild is beautiful and it is their loss if they can not see past their ignorance and hatred. Then walk away, you and your family have no time for those type of people.

Ginger - posted on 10/09/2009

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Let me tell you ignorance is crazy!! I have 3 adorable mixed kids I am white and the girls are Peurto Rican and my son Is Jamaican, ( although You would never guess it he is so white) And when I take my stepson with me who is all Jamaican people really avoid me. What is that!! I just laugh and kill them with kindness, I am a hot head but I have a silver tongue, I usually leave them with their jaw hitting the floor, my kids think it's hilarious.

People can be cruel but it's not the kids fault, think of some slick one liners it shuts em up quick...

Micaela - posted on 10/09/2009

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I would say ignore it, it is not worth wasting your time and enargy on ignorant people.

MIRIAM - posted on 10/09/2009

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Take the opportunity to teach that beautiful grandchildren. He/she is already learning about the thoughtless people in the world. Teach them what a loving, self-controlled grandmother they have. When asked a stupid question, just smile and tell that person, "This is my grandchild and I call him/her Honey, Sweetheart, or Sweet Pea." Then walk away with your head held high and before they can ask another stupid question. Going off on an ignorant person is a waste of breath.

Lynn - posted on 10/09/2009

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You just have to remind yourself that that person is Ignorant and that your beautiful child is a gift from God and how blessed you are to have this child in your life!

ANGELICA - posted on 10/09/2009

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There will always be stupid and blind people in the world. just cherish your grandchildren and make sure they know that it doesn't matter if they are bi-racial.

Melissa - posted on 10/09/2009

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Tell them the Lord made him/her that way and you love them that much more. I have a biracial grandson and it is a joy to be his grandmother. He knows the Lord made him that way and he will tell people so!

Maria - posted on 10/09/2009

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Remember the old saying, "sticks and stones....but words may never hurt me"? They're just that, words. How to control your anger? Picture these people naked! Lol I know that's extreme, but you're the only who knows it, and it's in your mind, and you're the only one who'll get a kick out of knowing and having the satisfaction that you get the last laugh!

Sherrie - posted on 10/09/2009

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They are the ignorant ones..Not you. Bi-racial babies are absolutely beautiful. I have a cousin who is bi-racial and she is one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen... You just have to stay strong and let those comments roll off your shoulders... Their loss and you get to snuggle up with that beautiful baby forever

Chris - posted on 10/09/2009

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my kids are 1/2 Vietnamese, 1/4 Hispanic and 1/4 Polish...when people ask my kids what nationality they are they respond Puerto Rican...and that ends the bullying in school

Ann - posted on 10/09/2009

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I don't think it is always a bad question for someone to ask??? Yes if they are being rude about it or if they are asking it in a mean way. Sometimes I am interested in how someone comes to be, not becasue I think they are bad the way they are, but just because I am interested. Is that wrong???

User - posted on 10/09/2009

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just remember what a true blessing you have and then tell those people to quit hating cause u just contributed to the beatiful pool with your gorgeous grandbaby holla

Danyelle - posted on 10/09/2009

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I try to have empathy for the ignorance of such idiots. Remember that there are very few truely "pure" ethnic groups left in the world.... the majority of Americans are mixed races and mixed cultures. Race, color, & creed does not a person make, it is the personal ethical beliefs and behaviors of a person that make up who a person really is.

In an elementary lesson on the differences of race I teach my children that differences are what make us each individuals. It is the same with every species on earth. Even a Zebra does not have exactly the same color pattern as the next. Our most beloved American family members such as dogs, cats, and horses, all come in different sizes and colors and it is the personality of each that makes us love them.

So like Cheryl Bell said " Consisder the source, and then walk away!" People who are this ignorant and full of hate are unfortunatley lacking the compassion and viable intellegence to know any better. They are not worth your time or anger.

Best of luck and love those grandbabies:-)

Melanie - posted on 10/09/2009

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People like that are just trying to make you mad. It doesn't matter what they think. Their opinion doesn't matter is they cannot see past their racist issues. People that have opinions like that don't deserve acknowledgment. Ignore them, enjoy your grandchild.

Taisha - posted on 10/09/2009

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Just keep it movin....my kids are biracial and look nothing like me so I do get stares and comments. We don't have time for ignorance and stupidity. Just keep loving that baby!!! :)

Megan - posted on 10/09/2009

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You tell them that God has made children in all different skin colors. My children are both bi racial but I tell them that God loves all colors of the rainbow!! Just likes HE loves all kids who are of different skin color too!! I hope this helps because I can definitely understand where you are coming from!

Tammy - posted on 10/09/2009

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I, too, am curious what nationalities bi-racial children are because they are GORGEOUS! But, I would ask the question this way, "your son/daughter is absolutely beautiful, what nationalities is he/she?". My step-grandson is also biracial. He is absolutely beautiful, and a life long lesson for my husband who can be very ignorant at times if you catch my drift!!



Keep your head held high, be proud of your grandchild, and leave the ignorant, narrowminded people go ignored!

Rachal - posted on 10/09/2009

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You have to realize those people who say hurtful things are jealouse and to be honest their family tree probably does not branch out; it grows straight up!! I myself have been dealling w/stupid people for 11 yrs. My hubby is black, white, and Native American(Cherokee)-anyway my oldest is as dark as his dad and my other children came out lighter complected-in fact my youngest Aaliyah is very light skinned, sandy blonde hair, and hazel/green eyes!! When she was born we were shopping and the cashier said how come she is so light so I just simply said, "My husband ran out of black sperm!" Haven't heard anything from that cashier since!! By now people in my community know I could care less what they think and after awhile you learn to ignore stupid people because they just aren't worth your time. Good luck!

Lela - posted on 10/09/2009

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My husband and I are raising our granddaughter who is black, she is precious a inspiration to our lifes. If any one says anything we just say her blood is just as red as ours, and like we always say if you were to close your eyes and have never seen her before and she talked to you could you tell what color she was, God created us equal

Esmerelda - posted on 10/08/2009

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There are some really cruel people in the world, my husband is Indian and I am white and people still stare at us and comment, it never really bothered me until I had my first child, now we have two beautiful little boys and I am not saying that because I am their mother, they are absolutely gorgeous! Now people stare and comment and I get really angry but I have learned it is not worth it, don't let them get to you, people should learn to shut their mouths if they don't have anything nice to say, especially when it is about a child.

Aimee - posted on 10/08/2009

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I was told never to judge by whats on the outside we are all human no matter what breed or creed we all breathe and bleed.. I believe in Karma what goes around comes back around Just smile and feel pity for those who fear indifferences it would be a boring world if we were all the same.. My Wetji told me that Im proud to be me and her grandaughter...May all those who take the time to read this love life and themselves also smile someone will always smile back... Take care All mothers are Angels in training xoxoxox

Brenda - posted on 10/08/2009

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Just count to 10 then walk away. I know you want to snatch there heads off but the best thing is to walk away. That will prevent a fight.

Denice - posted on 10/08/2009

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That is an ignorant person. Ignore any remarks and enjoy every moment with your grandbaby. I have two bi-racial grandsons. They are my life and am so proud of both of them. Walk away with your head held high and be a proud grandma.

Fran - posted on 10/08/2009

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i think the best thing to do is to turn the table on them. when someone makes a comment i would look at them straight in the eye and say sweetly whatever do you mean? it will make them realize their own rudeness and come to terms with their own prejudice thinking. no matter what enjoy your grandchildren and give them lots of love and kisses.

Aisling - posted on 10/08/2009

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to be honest i tink u shouldnt boder ur time wit people like dat cause deyr obviously ignorent and have nutin better 2 do in life. a child is special no matter wat colour dey r and if dat p;erson doesnt see it den FUK DEM!!! pardom my language bt racism is discusting and towards a child is even worse.

User - posted on 10/08/2009

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girl you dont people are so curl love that baby flant it and show just how proud you are of that child

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