Miia - posted on 07/09/2012 ( 63 moms have responded )
So, I'm not really a mother and don't plan on being one for a little while at least, but I was hoping you could give me some support/advice in dealing with this...
Basically I'm at uni and met the most perfect man, I love him so much and we plan on settling down together after I finish uni and get a job. I really see a future with him, he's a few years older than me but we love each other. My problem comes from thinking of the future, I think one day I'll want children not right now, as the thought is terrifying! But one day when I have my life on track maybe.
The thing is, he has a son already from his ex, his sons about 5 I think (I never met him) and he hates the mother, she cheated on him and never lets him see the kid, which is unfair and all, but when I think about my own children I want with him I feel so useless, like I just think he's already gone through that, I'd never give him that special first child which I think is probably one of the strongest bonds ...
Also, on a side note, I have hope (for now) because I don't think this child is his, it looks nothing like him, like not one single feature matches him, plus my boyfriend is half black and the child is white, blonde and blue eyed, which seems unlikely and I know the ex cheated on him several times!
But I just need to know how to deal with this jealous feeling of knowing I'll never give the man I love what she gave him, does it ever go away? Am I a terrible person for thinking like this? I'm only 20 so I have no rush and he's 25 but I just feel like she stole my chance at the ideal family