How do I deal with a budding teenager?

Shonquinta - posted on 05/12/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My 12 year old is driving me crazy. She fights with her younger brother of 6 years old and will not relent when I get on her case. She has passed on her negative attitude to him.

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Erin - posted on 05/12/2009

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My 12-year-old is also a budding-tween and I have the exact same problem as you with two kids fighting! Just know that you are not alone and that once the kids grow up they will get along better! Until then, try having your daughter write in a journal to express some of her negative feelings. Also find creative ways for the kids to release agressions that they have towards each other like have them draw their siblings face on an egg and then let them throw the egg on the ground (visualization works wonders!). My boyfriend will also do creative punishments. Once the kids couldn't do anything together without fighting so he grounded them together for the day. He gave them a list of chores that they had to do together. If they faught or couldn't work together he added more chores. Finally, they realized that if they would just get along and work together they could get the chores done and go play (SEPERATELY!)... Good luck! In my honest opinion, I don't know many siblings that do get along in their youth. Just take heart in knowing that eventually, YEARS down the road, they will be best of friends and laugh at all of the silly things they faught over.

Shaely - posted on 05/12/2009

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Well first breathe..........................1. she might need a little more Mom time at this point than normal. Breathe 2. Let her know that her leadership skills are not at the best of her game and little brother is going to really drive her crazy when he mimicks her attitude in the future. Breathe 3. Set lines and do accept her crossing them reassure her that bad behavior will result in concequences and good behavior will be encouraged.

did I mention Breathe. 4. Let her know that if she can not set a good example for her brother than she will be taking the time outs. and always Breathe!

Gilberte - posted on 05/12/2009

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First RULE is PATIENCE. Try making time for you and her alone to make her feel special even for only a little while. Start the conversation with WHAT DO YOU THINK? then go from there. They both need time alone with you to speak their mind.

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