how do i deal with every day strees on being a mom and wife

Sharon - posted on 01/28/2010

Is Robin the pothead? I didn't see a single offensive thing about that post?

Kate CP - posted on 01/28/2010

I wish I could make a picture diagram so every one could understand the rules for this forum. But, since I can't, I'll just repeat myself AGAIN.

DO NOT FLAG POSTS JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE THEM!!!! It annoys the crap out of me and the other mods!! If you have a question as to what sort of content is "flag worthy" then PLEASE for the love of all that is holy read the pinned threads "Opinion vs Personal Attack" and "Posting and Flagging Etiquette".

Thank you,
Kate Capehart
(irritated) CoM Moderator

Missy - posted on 01/28/2010

I felt the same way and still sometimes do but I joined the gym. The YMCA and I do 30 minutes of cardio and then I bring a change of clothes and go in the jacuzzi and the sauna. It takes almost 2 hrs. I took my daughter to the day care there or have the hubby watch her. It is the best thing for you. You are out, getting fit and feeling good and refreshed. After the sauna your skin feels fresh and great. If you can't do all of it maybe do 1 thing or two the next day. Also, get your hair done every 3 months. Cut, color whatever you do and feel and look great! I completely understand where you are coming from since I got pregnant right away and I was soo independent and a really party girl. SO all this is shocking to me but I find that the gym is the ONLY WAY. Good luck

Maria - posted on 01/28/2010

You and me both.

This is what has worked for me!

A routine is very helpful. Consistency to whatever that routine is helps a ton and keeps you from wanting to pull your hair out. A schedule of what things in your home you'll clean each day of the week and an idea of what activities you will do with your children are two great ways of getting a routine together. (I can message you my copies of these if you want any ideas)

Remember to embrace the truth that your circumstances may be stressful, but your minset and reactions either help you feel overwhelmed or they won't. It's always your choice.

Get plenty of rest. Meet your childrens needs, nurture your marriage and take good care of yourself.

Hope all goes well.

God Bless!

If you ever want to talk just message ANY one of us! We are all here for ya!

Tammy - posted on 01/28/2010

You have to demand some time for you if no one is listening. It is difficult! I am a massage therapist, so. of course, I would say "Honey! Its time you get me a massage gift certificate for my bday, moms day, xmas, etc....." That way it is a for sure thing you get an hour a few times a year to just relax and think of nothing but yourself. Also, find a group of other moms to hang out with. It is so much easier to deal with your every day stresses knowing that you are NOT alone!

Daniela - posted on 01/28/2010

Definitely don't try and do it all. Take some shortcuts if you (cut down on ironing for a start) can or get your husband to take on some of the household chores. Or get someone to clean for you, even if you have to pay them. Even if it is only once a week. This will free up some of your time.

Try and get some time to yourself, even if it is only half an hour while the baby naps. Try to have a coffee/tea, read a few pages of a novel, anything really that helps you relax and takes you out of yourself for a while.

Krissy - posted on 01/28/2010

I work full time... as much as I miss my daughter, I am a better person for it, and it gives me a break. :) Funny that work becomes your 'break' once you're a mom!

Kristi - posted on 01/28/2010

Def. make time for yourself once a day! Even if that time is spent doing something you'd normally do...you can't imagine how good it feels just to take a shower!!! Also, my mom always said that if you're feeling down, clean yourself up. It may sound odd at first, but after a shower, put on some make-up and a real outfit (not just sweats or PJs). Sometimes it's as simple as: if you're looking better, you're feeling better!

Krista - posted on 01/28/2010

Heaven forbid that someone have a sense of humour, Robin. Sharon actually gave some good tips -- not for long-term solutions to problems, but for a quick fix that helps take the edge off of the pressure.

My tip: you have to ASK very specifically for time to yourself. You can't just wait for someone to offer it to you, 'cause that's never going to happen. And you can't say "I need time for myself", 'cause that's never going to happen. You need to say, "I want two hours to myself, starting at noon on Sunday. Can you be with the kids or do you have other stuff planned and want to hire a sitter?" You have to TAKE time for yourself, because nobody is ever going to give it to you.

Robin - posted on 01/28/2010

Sharon, in my opinion, your post was rude and uncalled for. In fact, I've read a lot of your posts, and much of the time you come across as self-righteous. Try being helpful instead of acting like a jerk.



Melissa, others have given you some great advice here. Just try to carve some alone time every day. If you need to enlist your husband's help, even better.

Marcy - posted on 01/28/2010

I go running with my friend 3 days a week. At night after my son goes to sleep I take a bubble bath and read. I have found that reading really calms me down before I go to bed. I tend to get hysterical at least once a month. I call my hubby at work to tell him the Crazy Train has arrived at the station and he knows that I have had it. I guess the biggiest thing is to recogonize when you feel like you are about to go off the deep end and just stop what you are doing and change course. I run the show in my house and my hubby is awesome but he needs to be fed info in small amounts or he can't take it all in. Get yourself a huge calendar, post it on the fridge and don't overschedule. On the weekends I only make 1 plan. This way it leaves time for me to get things done and try and relax....good luck!

Alison - posted on 01/28/2010

Don't sweat the small stuff. Have date nights and girls night out. You need to find your own balance. And know that it is not just you. We ALL struggle.

The woman who looks so together at the mall, may have totally lost it in the car. I believe it is important to be open with friends about what really goes on and what we are struggling with. If we all hide the ugly stuff, then we all think that we are alone.

Sharon - posted on 01/28/2010

You smoke pot like the other chick on here and tell everyone its ok, it doesn't hurt your fetus and even if its illegal, it made you feel better....

BAWAHAHAHAHAA I'm sorry thats a joke.



Um you hang out here and read the 10,000 "who my baby daddy" posts and thank god your life isn't that fkd.



You go to http://icanhascheezburger.com/page/28/ for a good laugh.



Warning - if you like cats at all the above site is higly addictive... I once lost 3 hours just sitting here going through the pages and laughing.



You go to http://www.fmylife.com/ and thank god your life isn't that screwed up.

Michaux - posted on 01/28/2010

welcome to parenthood dear........take a break if you need one, hubby can fix dinner and play with the child.....join a book club, take a walk, bubblebaths are great too.
as long as you have a supportive partner and a healthy child...this is doable.
I am a parent to a special needs child and even I can find time for myself.....

Roxanne - posted on 01/28/2010

You have to take time out for yourself each day, this will help you be the best Mother and wife that you can be.

Melissa - posted on 01/28/2010

thank you

Melissa - posted on 01/28/2010

thank you

Melissa - posted on 01/28/2010

thank you

Amy - posted on 01/28/2010

My daughter is going to be 9 months old soon. We recently started this, i am a stay at home mom and my husband goes to work. Since he is off on the weekends, i let him sleep in one day and i get to sleep in one day. Otherwise we would both be up super early with our daughter. Last weekend i didn't even sleep in, while he was playing with her i got a shower and had a half hour to myself. it was great. I was told some good advice once.. the dishes and dirty clothes will be there tomorrow, relax and enjoy your days!

Christy - posted on 01/28/2010

I can't really speak for the other mothers, but I am pretty sure we all have felt like that at some point or another. There are days when I queation my own sanity, and if I made the right choice having children. But then my 3 year old daughter smiles and says" I love you Mommy." out of the blue and my 17 month old son comes to me with a hug and kiss, or my husband will come up behind me with sweet words and a smile, and then I my world becomes a much happier and brighter place.

On those crazy days, try to find 15 minutes of alone time and remind yourself why you love your family and count your blessings. You may be surprised how it helps get you through those hair pulling days.

Iridescent - posted on 01/28/2010

Make short amounts of time for yourself EVERY day. If it's 5 minutes while your husband is home where you can drive a route you find calming, or reading 30 minutes after the kids go to bed when your husband knows to just let you wind down. Naptime if it's an option try to find something you enjoy to do at home. Find things you enjoy that don't take a lot of time at once (working with beads, learning to crochet, anything). And make sure your husband realizes sometimes, you just need to be left alone so you don't lose yourself because of the roles you have to fill.



Also, get a sitter or someone to watch the kids at least a few hours once a week, for time for you and your husband to do something together. It's huge. A movie, going out with friends, joining a dart or bowling league, just driving out into the country and watching the sky. It's very important.