How do i deal with my 4-year old daughter touching her vagina because she says it feels good?

Erin - posted on 07/23/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My daughter has been telling us to leave her alone in her room as she needs privacy which i thought was odd but reluctantly did so. Then we discovered she was using a toy-syringe to poke at her vagina and when asked why she said she was pretending it was a docter checking her. She has had a few bacterial infections and UTI's and so has been checked by docters a few times but when i took the syringe away i found her in her room touching herself on top of her clothes, she said it feels tickly and good. I believe that sexual curiosity is healthy in children but i think this is more about her doing something that feels good and while i can't blame her for wanting to repeat a good experience i'm not sure how i should be advising her. Will other parents think we are "messing" with our daughter if she tells other's what she's doing? I just don't know what to say to her.

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In addition to Jessie's suggestions... I would talk to her about not sticking anything IN there and to also wash her hands before and after... Don't want her getting any additional infections or anything.

Jessie - posted on 07/23/2011

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Well it sounds perfectly normal, and since she asks for privacy that is a good thing. I would just talk to her about doing somethings in private and that we don't talk about that certain thing in public. Now I would also explain to her that unless it is the doctor if anyone else touches her that she is to tell you, just so she doesn't think that she has to keep the other private. It's ok for her but NOT ok for anyone else. Other than that though this age is normal for starting that kind of thing. Good luck!

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