How do I deal with my four year olds mouthiness?

Shannon - posted on 03/15/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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She is very mouthy with me and any other elder and its embarassing. Don't know how to effectively deal with the problem. Especially in public.

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Heather - posted on 03/15/2009

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i agree not to give them any attention. kids love getting attention and even if it is negative it's still attention. i used to make my daughter sit in the hallway by herself with no distrations until she could agree to be nice. and never tolerate it. you let them get away with it once it's like starting all over again. i have three kids 12, 6 and 18 months.

Nikki - posted on 03/15/2009

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My (almost) 4 year old has had a few time-outs for his mouthiness, and I have expressed how much it hurts MY feelings when he talks to me like that.  He doesn't like to make mommy sad, and he usually straightens up.  I am also very consistent- which I think is a big deal.  It doesn't matter who is around or where we are, I will take him out of the situation and correct his behavior, and if we are doing something fun, he knows that it can come to an end if he doesn't behave.

Kristi - posted on 03/15/2009

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The ignoring thing did not help with my now 5-year old, I eventually had to take all privileges away. I took all off her toys out of her room for a week and then she had to start earning her toys and tv back.

Amanda - posted on 03/15/2009

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It's embarassing I know but the daycare I use to work at always said don't give them a lot of attention when they act out and get mouthy because kids love attention be it positive or negative so just ignore it as best you can if she says bad words and explain later to her that they are bad of course. As far as acting out in public I always tell my daughter when she's mouthy in public that if she doesn't stop after one warning that we will leave and go home no matter what we are doing.  Anything can be resheduled espeically if that helps stop them from acting out.  I hope this helps.

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Shannon - posted on 03/25/2009

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Thank you all so much for your help. I will try the ignoring it thing and see how that goes. Being that I don't have much space, I can't really take away her toys and have her earn them back, but hearing that reminded me of an episode of Supernanny that I watched before. I am going to try what Supernanny did on top of ignoring it. Supernanny got a bowl and enough small balls to fill up the bowl. The bowl starts out empty and each day that the child went all day with good behavior or anytime that the child did something very good and helpful, she would add a ball to the bowl. Each time the child was misbehaved or had a really off day, then she would take a ball out of the bowl. If the bowl gets completely empty the child loses a privelage. If the bowl gets completely filled up the child earns a privelage. Once again... thank you all so much!!! Hopefully all goes well with your kids as well.

Sara - posted on 03/15/2009

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My 5 year old daughter has devloped a bit of an attitude lately. Usually I just need to say "try again" and she knows to rephrase what ever she said. Sometimes I think she doesn't realize how she's speaking. She's even asked me to "try again" when I've been a little short with her. :-)

Jennifer - posted on 03/15/2009

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Quoting Shannon:

How do I deal with my four year olds mouthiness?

She is very mouthy with me and any other elder and its embarassing. Don't know how to effectively deal with the problem. Especially in public.



Hey!



I too have a 4 year old. Except it's a boy! Anyway, I happen to believe that they pick up the mouthiness from the kiddos they play with or by watching how mom and dad speak to eachother on a regular basis..  I tend to refrain from mouthing off to my husband in front of the kids, and vice versa.. However, there have been times where my son has popped off in public by saying something like, "I'm not talking to you," when he is talking to his dad instead of me. I just look at him with stern eyes and say back to him, " Excuse me, that's not exceptable. You will not speak to me that way."  If your husband notices it, he should do the same. But both parents have to be in agreement that that is how you are going to handle it . You need not worry how other people will think of you when talking to her that way. If anything, they will applaud you or say something like, " I remember those days" or  they may just look at you and smile. Remember you are your child's mirror. KEEP IT POSITIVE!!! Good luck!



 



Jennifer

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