How do i discipline my 15 Month old son?

Megan - posted on 11/01/2012 ( 233 moms have responded )

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I am struggling on how to deal with my 15 month old son. I understand everyone says just to redirect them to something else n get on there level n tell them no n a stern voice and i do this over n over every time with him n he goes right back to it n then finds everything around him that i say no to n do it he wont listen to me at all n he seems to know what he is doing wrong n does it over n over n over when nothing works what do u do? His temper tantrums are getting worse as well his biggest thing is to open n shut the outside door when we are outside he just wont leave it alone n we cant leave the door open i try to get him to play with his ball but it dont help all he wants to do is play with the door n i dont know how to get him to stop nothing seems to work with him i guess my biggest ?in is what do u do when you try everything n it dont work?

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Mary - posted on 12/17/2012

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Great point Irene. Whenever my two years old throws a tantrum it's because he needs something and I just could not understand him. When kids throw a tantrum, parents should listen to what they need. It's like if one adult is saying a story and a second adult can not hear, chances are the one talking would try to speak up. This is what these kids are trying to do. Pay closer attention and I bet you it will calm them down because it works with mine.

Suzanne - posted on 12/17/2012

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At 15 months, your child is old enough to understand the why of not doing things. Sit down with him and explain to him that when the door is open it is because you are trying to let fresh air in so he can smell the wonderful outside air. And when the door is closed it is because you are trying to keep the heat or cool inside. None of my kids would take no, but they always responded when I explained to them why not to do something or why to do something

Innocentglitter - posted on 12/17/2012

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I tend to ignore tantrums from my son, if he throws a fit I lower him to the ground and calmly ask him if he is done yet. The only time I agree with a light swat to the butt is when he tries to do something dangerous. And no my child does not fear me in anyways and is a very well behaved 17 month old.

My advice to you is if he wants to see how the door opens and closes, watch him so he doesnt get hurt but let him. This is a new world and he is courious. Also you can teach him to be gentle with your baby. My son has learned to be careful around babies and small dogs, you just have to show them. I tell him to play nice or pet nice and show him what I want him to do.

As for him acting out make sure he has special time with you and just be firm with him. Sometimes just putting them in their room for a little time to themselves works wonders. My son does this about once a day where he has to relax in his crib playing by himself.

Samantha - posted on 12/16/2012

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Redirection and consistency with it. this is how I taught my son. It wasn't easy everytime, of course they will not like it. If they are old enough to understand no then he is also old enough for a time-out. I would suggest minute per year like most everyone else has so far. Good luck! :)

Kalkidsla - posted on 12/16/2012

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If he goes 'right back to it', he then has access to 'it', whatever u told him 'no' to. I've found body blocking to be quite efficient with young children. If you say not to mess with the door and he does it again, stand between your child and the door and don't let him have access to it and CALMLY repeat why u said no in one simple sentence and DO NOT give into any temper tantrums, let him throw it and remain calm. When he's throwing the fit, ask him if he wants a hug, when he eventually gives in and takes the cuddle, explain how much you love him but not him messing with the door. It'll take patience and effort, but will be worth it! Remember, children learn through repetition and reinforcement, both good and bad behaviors.

Jswingle - posted on 12/15/2012

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Oh and I didn't see you had a baby until after I posted. I put my babies in a carrier so I can do stuff and not have to worry about them. When I let my toddlers near my baby I am always there.

Jswingle - posted on 12/15/2012

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Sounds like you need to baby-proof. Everything in his reach that he is not supposed to be touching you need to put away or up high. And you also need to ask yourself which battles you want to fight. Can you stand there for 20 minutes and LET him open and close the door? What's really wrong with that? If you do it everyday for a week, he'll get over his door obsession:) My toddler likes the phone. My first reaction is to take the phone away! But then I think...why not? So I unplug the phone from the wall so she doesn't accidentally call out and she is happy. When he wants to do something you might not like, ask yourself:
Is it dangerous? (if yes don't do it).
DO I have time? (Often we really do have a few minutes to humour a toddler but we just dont WANT to. If you really dont have time, move on, but if you do, consider saying yes once in a while.),
Is there a WAY I can say yes? ( like my phone example. OR I have another example. My toddler was obsessed with crossing the street! We were at playgroup and she just wanted to leave the playground and cross the street. I was saying no no no dangerous! and everyone was getting frustrated. So finally I had the bright idea to just take my toddler by the hand and walk WITH her across the street and back. I showed to her look for cars. We did it for half an hour while the other moms came by and watched and chatted and laughed. But after half an hour, she was done and we went and played again.)

And if you really have to say no just stay calm, let him tantrum, give him a hug when he is done, and move on. He really is just a baby. He will outgrow it and you teaching him understanding will help him be a great kid.

Crystal - posted on 12/15/2012

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Key points:


15 months is too young to spank with success in comprehension. THEY ARE TOO YOUNG TO UNDERSTAND YOUR EXPECTATIONS AND THE RELATION BETWEEN THEIR ACTIONS AND THE CONSEQUENCES.

However, I do not disagree with spanking or slapping a child when it's the best form of repercussion. That being said, I got spanked for things like hauling off and slapping my mother, saying 'I hate you" and that was when I was 13.. the last spanking I ever received.

Personally I don't think a toddler requires a quote on quote 'spanking'. I can't think of anything they could do that would honestly deserve one. Spankings should be reserved for VERY BAD behavior that's more so DELIBERATE! Again.. when they're of an age that they know;

What they're doing is wrong,

It will result in a very disappointed and mad mom/dad

And likely a spanking... no surprise to them, because they understand the expectations and that mom and dad HAVE set limits and KNOW what they're doing is soo very wrong.

My daughter is 28 months, she knows not to hit, but in frustration or anger if she slaps me, which she's done maybe 3 times recently, I smack her in direct relation to where she smacked me. I don't bruise her or break skin or any drastic abusive result, I smack her just hard enough to sting. If she kicks or slaps me in the face, I slap her on the mouth, it shocks her, hurts both her feelings AND stings. Then I tell her that she hurt me, and I'm sad.. she has to be nice, Mommy hurt Abby?? Then I get her to apologize and I apologize to her and give her a hug.

Long and short, each parent is going to find what works best for their child.

Not all children will respond to a slap, or a stern voice, or a time out. You need to learn what works for your child. Set your limits and stick to them.

User - posted on 12/15/2012

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Just a quick aside to another answer: "How do you get a 15 month old throwing a tantrum to sit quietly in a time out area?"

User - posted on 12/15/2012

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Hitting a child has been proven over and over to have the least amount of success in a child's brain power where long term learning is concerned. I care for my 14 month old grandson, and if a tantrum ensues that doesn't seem to rectify itself in a couple of minutes, say, the dog ran off with his ball, I put him in his play pen, where he cannot harm himself, can cry as long as he needs, and if he's tired, can cry himself to sleep. Many times, within a few short minutes, he's standing up in his pen, ready to function again. Slapping a hand, sternly saying no, any of those things are going to go down the tubes if a kid is screaming and crying himself into oblivion. If he knows he will be removed and put in a safe place, that's the best. 15 months is just too young to rationalize with him. By the time he's two, you'll be able to assess whether he can comprehend a two minute time out or not. Number 1: Serious tantrum time, put him in his bed or in his pen. Number 2, you speak of him returning to stuff he can't have. Is this stuff you can get rid of, or move for a few months? Number 3, do not, I repeat, do not, slap this child's hands. My God, they did that when I was growing up.

User - posted on 12/15/2012

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Hitting a child has been proven over and over to have the least amount of success in a child's brain power where long term learning is concerned. I care for my 14 month old grandson, and if a tantrum ensues that doesn't seem to rectify itself in a couple of minutes, say, the dog ran off with his ball, I put him in his play pen, where he cannot harm himself, can cry as long as he needs, and if he's tired, can cry himself to sleep. Many times, within a few short minutes, he's standing up in his pen, ready to function again. Slapping a hand, sternly saying no, any of those things are going to go down the tubes if a kid is screaming and crying himself into oblivion. If he knows he will be removed and put in a safe place, that's the best. 15 months is just too young to rationalize with him. By the time he's two, you'll be able to assess whether he can comprehend a two minute time out or not. Number 1: Serious tantrum time, put him in his bed or in his pen. Number 2, you speak of him returning to stuff he can't have. Is this stuff you can get rid of, or move for a few months? Number 3, do not, I repeat, do not, slap this child's hands. My God, they did that when I was growing up.

Cherie - posted on 12/14/2012

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Some of the posts I read are so unbelievable. When a 15 month old child controls a parent then something is wrong. Someone obviously dislikes people who spank. Well, I have nine children and everyone has been spanked and everyone of them has learned to obey me when they were told what to do. If they didn't, then if a spanking was needed, it was administered. I love my children too much to raise them without rules and limits. If you do not teach a 15 month old child that you are the parent and you are the authority, then let me assure you, when they are teenagers the rebellion against you will be far more severe than opening a door. I cried the first time I spanked my first child. It was hard. But, as my father had said to me and now I understood, "This hurts me more than it hurts you." No parent enjoys disciplining their child; they do it because they want them to grow into responsible adults who can get under any authority that may one day be in their life. Teach your son now to obey. If he does not learn to obey you, one day he may be in a dangerous situation and when you warn him, he will not heed the warning and awful consequences may result. Not one person on this earth every had to be taught to lie or steal or do anything bad; but, good habits need to taught and reenforced again and again. Do not spank in anger EVER. I always talked with my children; explained what they did wrong. Most of the time I would get them to admit it was wrong. A spanking was administered in severity according to the offense, but never physically causing serious damage.. Afterwards, I was hug them and tell them that I love them and I want the best for them. A young child may have a harder time understanding, but not one time did my children walk away from a spanking without knowing that their mom or their dad loved them and was doing this for their good. The current generation is most of the time against spanking. Well, look to the past generations when spanking was practiced by almost every parent. I think you will see a much more responsible and accountable generation of offspring. If you love your son, you need to set your authority. You need to set limits. You need to establish consequences for breaking those limits. If you do not, I promise that you will reap sorrow down the road. Out of nine children (none are perfect and each has had struggles), they are all growing into responsible adults who have no problem with accepting authorities in their life and who honor my husband and I by how they live. I do not condone beating a child or physically injuring them. Spanking is not child abuse when it is administered correctly in love for a child. I hope that something said helps you. Although it was hard to spank my children, I had to say that the later ones needed a whole lot less discipline because the older ones set the example and they learned from their older siblings. Now I reap in my younger children because of the discipline administered to my older children. And not one of my children regrets the rules and discipline they had. In fact, they have thanked us for caring enough to train them diligently so that they now are enjoying lives that are happy and fulfilled.

Aleatha - posted on 12/14/2012

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pop him and pick him up and put him in time out i call it jail for babys put n a bounce or a walker or even a play pin and let him know like you talking to a ten year kid that he cant do that that it hurts or its hot or its bad that how they learn y son is 9 months and he no what no means i yell no to him when he's not looking and he's doing something bad he jump in shock laugh and stop what he's doing he understands me because i tll my words thats a no no you cant do that so now i just say no and he stops

Crystal - posted on 12/14/2012

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I got spanked, slapped on the mouth etc more times than I can count.. I was never a bully nor did I become an aggressive or 'angry' child or teen for that matter. Yes, everyone is different. And from what I understand if a child feels they need to 'school' others, beat on them or bully and boss around in general.. there's more going on than the fact that their parents used an old school method of discipline.

Mary - posted on 12/14/2012

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I totally agree that popping a child is not the best route to take. In my opinon, children that are hit tend to get angry faster. I have 2 kids and my first child, I spanked but my second child, I realized that it does not work. If he is doing something wrong, I would just redirect or ask him to stop and explain why, 90% of the times he listens and stops. When he does not, I promise him timeout which usually will resolve the issue. My daughter on the other hand, who is older and awesome, was spanked and I wish I could go back and not do that again. She now acts big and bad towards her peers. If someone says something wrong to her, she is ready to fight. Now I have to keep telling her that hitting is not the way to resolve problems when I hit her as a child to resolve an issue. It's conflicting for a child to grow up feeling like if I do something wrong, I will get hit. It sucks. I know all kids are different and react differently to the same punishment, but I think that the parent knows their child best. You as the parent should sit back and think of what is best for your child.

Crystal - posted on 12/14/2012

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A child as young as 18/19 even 24 months will often do something you've told them not to over and over. Their attention span is only so long, their memory is still developing. Redirecting is the very best way to deal with a 15mth old child.

You have to be consistent and possibly catching him BEFORE he does it again. Redirecting him over and over and over.. no different that potty training, or time outs (when they're old enough for that).

He doesn't have the ability to live up to your expectations yet. Just because you've told him the x-mas is off limits (ie "Joey don't touch the tree, no!") doesn't mean you won't have to tell him a million more times. Try and catch him doing whatever it is you've told him not to BEFORE he does. If he's walking in that direction and looks like he may try it again, ie "Jooooey, don't you touch that tree".

Good luck. Btw, giving a slap on the hand etc I personally don't think it's horrible, but I only ever did that when my LO was closer to 20 mnths, he understanding was more developed (for consequences) and only when she'd kick me in the face or chest when getting changes etc.. .then I'd explain that hurt and she hurt mommy etc.

As for milk, children can be switched to homo milk at 12 months and only for a year. By that time there are so many other ways in which they're getting calcium milk should not be given nearly as much. Cheese, yogurts and vegetables account for a lot of the calcium intake. Cut down on the amount of milk over all. Tops 2 cups a day. It can also wreak HAVOC on their systems and constipate them severely. I never understood how people kept giving their LO so much milk, even into 3 &4.. cows milk was not meant for us, our systems have hard enough time processing it as adults.

As for your LOs teeth, no drinks in bed! Do not do this, cut it out of the routine altogether. Seriously, I have 2 nieces from 2 different set of parents both of whom have had their 2 front teeth rot out of their faces by 4 yrs old. This is horrible and COMPLETELY avoidable. Do not give your children drinks to go to bed with. If they have to have a bottle to sooth themselves to sleep, water water water.. or no matter what you do their little teeth will get ruined.

Shauna - posted on 12/14/2012

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Well there is so much hostility in this post right now it's ridiculous. We are here to help each other not attack each other. All parents have different ways of disciplining their children and we should not be attacking others for their choice of discipline.

Anyways, on the milk part. My children's WIC consultant and her associates keep all children on whole milk until they are 3 years old. Then when they turn 3 they are switched to 2% milk. I would have to say that they are yellowing because you are not brushing them enough. Don't get me wrong I'm not insulting you because I know how hard it is to have a young child with a baby you are always busy and it's hard to keep up with things. Just try brushing them a little more often. Every morning, every night, and after lunch. You could also take a tissue and wipe his gums and teeth after he gets done drinking anything. That might help just a suggestion.

On the discipline part, its really hard to say what you should do. It sounds like you have tried just about everything. Well, without starting a fight, I do spank my kids and they know I am serious when I do. I make it to where they can feel it but it is not hard enough to hurt them. They are not afraid of me and now that I am serious when I do it. I have had dfs called on me because my daughter was at my parents and fell and hit her face and anyways I was told by the department of family services and a sheriff that it is ok to spank your children as long as you don't leave a mark or bruise. It is NOT considered abuse.

Anyways, not all children grow up spanking their children if they were spanked and just because you spank your children does not mean that they are going to be hitters, but each to their own. I know that you have tried just about everything, but keep trying and maybe set aside a time for just you and him after the baby goes to sleep and see how that works. I had to do that as well because shortly after my second child was born my oldest started acting out really bad.

I hope this helps you. You do what you feel is necessary/ You could also have someone come watch the baby and take him out to do something or vice versa, have someone come take him out and do something with him and you stay home with the baby.

Anne - posted on 12/14/2012

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Ignore the tantrums. focus on something else such as laugh at the TV or some other activity. Kids hate being ignored, wanting to be the centre of attention at all times. Encourage good activities where he is the focus. Where some people say time out in a bedroom is not ideal, you can remind them it is the place to go when they are tired. Throwing tantrums? Why they must be tired and it is time for a nap. Yes it is hard and will not be solved in a day. Persistence is the key.

Gladys - posted on 12/13/2012

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There is a really great program called Magic 1 2 3 and it's a very indept program on discipling children. I believe it was originated for kids with austism, but has worked so well that it is spreading among mainstream parenting....You can google the program or find it your local library...I'm not for spankings or hitting of any type....violence only begets violence.....and you are using fear as a method of control instead of teaching alternative more appropriate behaviors.....Good luck to you.

Camille - posted on 12/13/2012

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So I have a naughty little boy who will be 2 in a few months. I didnt feel right swatting him at 14months (when he started acting up) so I tried something that I have never seen or heard of before. I turn his hand palm side up and give him 5 and say NO really stern but not loud... didnt hurt him because its the how I taught him to "give me 5" but the sound scared him enough to stop. I guess its like a slap on the hand, just not the backside :)

Alexandra - posted on 12/11/2012

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well i sugest you dont discipline your son at a young age. As i was 7 i was given a good girl chart for example you give him a star for evreytime he behaves good when he gets 7 stars he gets a presnt and if he is bad u take a star up to 3 stars tsaken away u restart it actully works exept im a girl and he is a boy so try this and tell me if it works

Alyssa - posted on 12/11/2012

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The more you attention you draw or give to something, the more your child will want to do the same. Ignore the door, and play with that ball like its the best toy in the world, and chances are he will do the same.

Heather - posted on 12/11/2012

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I was spanked as a child. It did me no harm. I grew up knowing not to disrespect my parents. I still enjoy a loving relationship with them and they dicipline my son by sometimes spanking him when he needs it.

I agree spanking may effect children differently BUT i am pro-spanking. There is a VERY big difference in spanking and beating.

Linda - posted on 12/11/2012

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Bless, he see's himself as the big brother, he wants to hold the baby and is watching you to see what he had to do, okay he's heavy handed but take his hand and gently use it to pat the babies back, teach him the strength he has to use, he will get it because he want to learn, sit him on the sofa, prop cushions around him to help with support and give him the baby to hold, don't leave him alone, he will Decide for himself when he has had enough, give him a bottle to feed the baby, let him help with bathing, encoursge him to be the protector, my daughter is 37 and is still her brothers protector, but he loves her dearly, he is 27 and married, I could not wish for better children, I had no tantrums at 2 and not teenage strops. To be honest I did tap both of them on their hands if they were in danger of being hurt by something, my daughter has a daughter herself now and I am proud to say she is probably a better mother than I was.

I have looked after 100 children and have never tapped their hands, but it is difficult to teach the children that the socket they are about to stick their fingers into will kill them, I do have covers so I don't need the lecture, but sometimes you have just pulled the plug out and they see the opportunity, when you say no and take their hand away, they think its s game and go back to it, I have had 2 year olds able to take socket covers off, and open draws with childproof catches on, you just have to have eyes everywhere. Every child I have had a hand in raising has gone from me having learned how to be a good parent, don't give up, give him powers, when he is older he will appreciate what you have allowed him to do, it will teach him to be more loving, and caring brother. Good luck.

Heather - posted on 12/10/2012

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He is ONLY 15 months old and your house should be pretty baby proofed so that he can roam around and get into some things without you having to snap at him everytime, all day long.



He is going to throw tantrums because you aren't letting him explore and touch things that he wants to touch. So only keep things down at his level that are ok for him to touch, play with, etc.



As far as the door is concerned, lock it! Is he really harming the door, or himself? Is he slamming the door, or just opening and closing it because he's curious. Maybe he doesn't like going outside? Maybe he'd rather have something else to play with outside other than a ball? Not all kids like balls, I didn't.



What you need to do is to make it as safe as possibly for him to play without you telling at him or using a stern voice, or spanking him when he gets into things that you don't want him to. That's what cabinet locks and baby proofing stuff is for.



Pick your battles. He is Only 15 months old and he is still learning right from wrong. Did you know that he won't fully understand the word No until he is closer to 3! He also won't know what a lie is fully until he is 6! Grab some parenting books, it can't hurt!

Heather - posted on 12/10/2012

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Put him on the "Thinking Spot" for 2 minutes. If he attemps to get up put him back and re-start the timer. Keep doing this until he stays for the full to minutes. Then in a clear voice, firm tone, keeping it very simple...... "You DO NOT throw toys at the TV"

Make sure you have eye contact, and if necessary show him what he did wrong.



Them ask for an apology - You may need to say this for him, or encourage him to say it.



Then big hugs and kisses and send off to play.



This is exactly how i diciplined my son at 1 year old, up until he was about 4 years. Now he is 5 and a half and gets sent to his room for 6 minutes.

Kelsea - posted on 12/08/2012

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There is nothing wrong with a little tap on the bottom. If my son does something that is going to endanger himself like run away when were outside , yes he will get a spank. Or if he outright doesn't listen, yes he will get sent to his room and a spank if he continues to misbehave. Children need security and need to know thatthey have rules and boundaries. If they misbehave and act disobedient, yes there are consequences.my three year old is a very good boy. Not out of fear as you may think.

There is something wrong with a generation of kids who bare not being reprimanded for their actions. Children need security and need to know that no matter what YOU LOVE THEM WHOLLY. RRaising children is a hard job, raising good children is even more work. My boys are all my love. I work hard for them. And I also know they are gods gift to me and he has placed a huge resposibilty on me towards them.

Kelly - posted on 12/08/2012

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Hi Megan my son is also 15 months old and I too have been struggling with how to dissapline him.I did the whole telling him "no" and trying to redirect him but it didn't work at all,he would just do it again.



So now I just let him do the door thing even though it annoys me and I just let him press the buttons on the remote or what ever type of thing like that he is doing but if he is doing something really naughty and doesn't listen when I say no I just out him in the corner for 2 minutes,tell him why he is in the corner and then I ask him to say sorry and give me a hug and a kiss and then he goes back to playing and we get over it and don't hold a grudge so to speak.



You have to stick to the corner thing but eventually they learn that If I keep going when mummy tells me no than I'm going to have to sit in this corner for 2 minutes,he usually listens now.He is 15 months so obviously he still has his days where he doesn't listen.



I like to pick my battles and I only punish him if he is being naughty or disrespectful not if he is being curious,by opening shutting the door over and over etc I usually let them ones go and he gets bored of doing it but if he is doing something really naughty hitting etc I give him a time out.



It really helps if you stick to this method of dissapline and no matter how many times he gets out of the corner you just lick him up and put him back and restart his time,it also helps if when he is at a relatives or when his dad is home etc than if he is naughty other people put him in a time out as well,not just always mummy because this will show him other people are on board too and that if he is naughty other people aren't gonna let him get away with it.



Good luck,wish you and your son the best!

Kath - posted on 12/07/2012

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omg! how quick we r to judge - every parent disciplines to what works for their kids - for us it is spanking and has been since they crawled with a not yours to touch they r now 4 and 6 only need to warn once and they r all good - thankfully we have never had tantrums we explain the rules of where we go and its all fine back to the mothers dilema if u have tried everything with no result including ignoring him i suggest that u seek medical assistance not saying anything is wrong but friends little boy was similar and turned out hearing issue simple op and changed boy good luck u r doing a great job!!

Denise - posted on 12/07/2012

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Yes! Pop him on his hand. When we were growing up we were taught discipline. We even got paddled in school. I did work, contrary to other posted opinions. t taught us there were consequences if we were bad.



Nowadays too may parents coddle their children. Every time I go grocery shopping I see kids that are totally out of control and parents who softly tell them to stop. It doesn't work. The kids just get louder and more obnoxious. My kids would NEVER do that.



I would never beat my children. However, I do discipline them and not by giving them a "Time Out".



Dr. Phil and Opera have taught people to talk to their children as adults. That DOES NOT WORK! You can see the results any time you are out and see a child that is out of control.

Shannon - posted on 12/05/2012

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It sounds to me like he is playing you like a violin. Now you have a new baby, he's not the baby anymore and that totally sucks for him. Plus you are missing sleep, stressed out, at your wits end. I feel you. Have you tried just turning your back? Cutting off YOUR participation in his Watch Me Manipulate Mom Into A Crisis game? If he's safe, unable to do real damage to self or property, why are you continuing to engage? He's getting a HUGE payoff every time he makes you jump when he says "frog" and he's forcing you to give him any attention. He really doesn't care what kind; he knows you love him with your whole heart, so what does he have to lose?



On the same note, he gets an awesome show just for him. Our motto: Feed the behaviour you want to grow. If you don't want this kind of stuff happening at your house, stop feeding it. It will be hardest for you at first, but releasing yourself from the responsibility of "fixing" his Crisis du Jour will preserve your sanity and your baby's.



If you feel like he's manipulating you, it's because he is. Not out of malice, but because it's fun and new for him. Take the payoff away (your reactions) and it won't be fun anymore. And I KNOW you want to get off that ride as soon as possible.



You're doing it right. All of us go through this. Having a hard time means you're trying, and your ultimate responsibility is to raise a functional adult. You're doing it.

Ana - posted on 12/04/2012

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I have seven kids with my youngest in first grade now and all of they needed different parenting at macro level. However, it sounds more so that he wants to take charge and do what adults do. First borns are said to be natural leaders. From my experience, if that leadership urge is surpressed he can either shut down thinking its not accepted or with time build up anger that can manifest ad teens.

With that being said, maybe give him more responsibility within his means like opening and shutting the door when going out or help bring supplies when changing baby. If your baby is in the swing, make sure your son is always around you.

It may be he's asking for attention or it may be that he's trying to tell you that you don't tell him what to do because he's the leader. Since you know you give him attention, I'd rule that out.



Good Luck!

Fabienne - posted on 12/04/2012

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Nosindiso Felicia Myen, one of my aunt suggest that I should get a chair specific to put her on time out, so, I will invest in getting one, and hopefully it will work. Thanks

Nosindiso Felicia - posted on 12/04/2012

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I used a high chair for my daughter. I would put her there for a minute or so she had to sit still for a minute

Fabienne - posted on 12/03/2012

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Right now ladies, I have no idea what works with my daughter, I love her so very much and I am doing all that I can to be the best mom and the best person in her life, but I have reach a point where nothing works. She cries for any little thing, when I'm washing her hair I promise you-people probably think I am hurting her that how loud she cries-no matter what the position to wash her hair is. Now days every time she's going to sleep if I don't go to sleep with her best believe it will be a very challenge night, I do spank her and now I don't even want to do it because it breaks my heart beside it does not work. NOTHING IS WORKING, NOT THE SPANKING, NOT THE TIME OUT, NOT TALKING TO HER LIKE I AM THE CHILD SHE IS THE ADULT, NOTHING WORKS. So look when it comes to discipline your kids only you know how everything around you is-so do discipline your kids but don't hurt them, that is just my opinion.

Hella - posted on 12/03/2012

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I agree with Maria,it might be a sing for a compulsive behavior, and not a discipline issue. I wouldn't hit or hurt my baby over this. He might just didn't developed the skill, to stop the repetitive behavior? If nothing works, then more discipline just gonna make it worst. What your instinct says? Sometimes they do things like this if they are too bored, maybe need more interaction (it does not mean you don't interact with him,he might just need more, what you give him now. ?) At this age they would do anything for your attention, even if it will be a negative one. Hitting a child will teach him only to fear from you, but not that he shouldn't shot the door, or not to have a tantrum. Try to interact with him more, even if it means that your house is running, and if it is still an issue, I would see a doctor just to rule out any other disease . Just listen to your gut. :)

Elizabeth - posted on 12/03/2012

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It sounds to me that he needs to be seenby a Dr. I raised a son with ADHD and this is how his behavior s began. Could also be diet as in allergies. I would rule all of these things out first.

PAMELA - posted on 12/03/2012

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Tapping his little hand will work I have I 1 yr old that is very messy so I know how you feel she mess with all our doors always smash her hands.

Misty - posted on 12/03/2012

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Wow...all this arguing!! I am a pro spanking parent. Child Protective Services all in the same office have varying views on it. One will say absolutely under no circumstances are you to spank them and that is cause for removal. Next one will say it is ok as long as you are only spanking on the bottom with an open hand and do not use an object and do not leave a bruise. I stopped because I did not want to risk losing my children and when I stopped, my good little boys went to pure heathens. I feel personally that the government has too much say so in our lives and that they shouldn't be involved PERIOD!!! If children are being ABUSED, then that should be a police call and the police should deal with the crime. But now that I've said my piece, a 15 month old child should by all means be redirected. When he gets a little older, then pop his pamper or his fingers. DO NOT BEAT HIM...there is a difference. Just my opinion. Haters can hate, I will not reply to anyone who disagrees. Like I said, it's just my opinion, others can take it or leave it.

Chasmodai - posted on 12/03/2012

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You know, I just remembered two times that I was spanked when I was kindergarten age. The main thing I remember about it was not understanding why I was being spanked. I remember feeling confused, and I had this sense of thinking that if I knew it was wrong in the first place I wouldn't have done it to begin with, and wouldn't have been spanked. Having said that, to this day I don't know what I did wrong.



Bottom line is that if a kindergarten aged child can be confused and not quite understand what they did wrong, then a 15 month old won't.



Better to try to understand child development in order to understand WHY children do what they do, since they aren't little adults and don't have the same motivations as adults. Then guide them int he right way. Also, think hard about what is right and wrong. Too many parents think that doing something that annoys or inconveniences the parent is a spankable offense, when in reality they simply did what every normal child does.

User - posted on 12/03/2012

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The best thing I ever bought was a huge outdoor play yard thing. It's just 6 plastic gates that hook together, but it's at least twice as big as a regular play pen so my boy has plenty of room to stomp around and when he gets to the point where he just won't stop getting into things I stick him in there and he has his own space to do his thing without me having to worry and he doesn't have to feel like he's being punished. And if you have a new baby too, it might be nice for him to have a space that's all his own. Don't give up hope, some kids are just more spirited then others and different methods work for different children, there isn't one right way to do things so just keep trying.

[deleted account]

What I started doing was 'popping her on the hand' which first of all seemed to work but didn't seem to do the trick consistently and then I noticed her POPPING my husbands hand when she didnt want to eat and he was feeding her. I decided that was not good obviously - she obviously thought she could do it too.

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Well it was easier for her to smack him on the hand. I'm sure if she pops him on the leg, he'll understand that enough food means enough food.

Barbara - posted on 12/03/2012

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Hey Teresa,

Clearly you are a mom who loves her little girl and wants to care for her in all aspects of her life. While I would undo some of my disciplinary measures with my now 15 year old, I respect your moves to continually praise her when she gets it and to consistently follow through with the discipline you've chosen. The results are obvious, it works! Way to go! But I do agree, when anger enters the picture, the message is completely lost.

Teresa - posted on 12/03/2012

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oh haha one more final thing - my daughter as yet (i guess there is still time :p) has NOT really had a temper tantrum - she does a bit of complaining if she has to lie still to do her nappies every now and then; but as soon as she's lying down she stops and finds something to do with her hands....so she hasn't really done temper tantrums - I think because she already knows that 'no' means 'no'.



I'm sure that there is PLENTY of time for a temper tantrum and no doubt will come; but I also have no doubt that I shouldn't have too much trouble with her in this side; because she already knows and accepts she has to obey; and she has to do something when she doesn't want to sometimes; so she already realizes that we can't get our OWN way in life ALL the time - a very good life skill to have so we can learn to deal with disappointments and things from a young age....



Anyway...enough said :p :)



Good luck! :)

Teresa - posted on 12/03/2012

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Hey Holly - I just have to say that I support you on what you have been saying.

This is my little story with my 14month year old daughter.



What she used to do is CONTINUOUSLY remove books from the bookshelf; items from kitchen cupboard and things from under the TV. I have not got child locks because don't have dangerous things there; but also I want her to learn the discipline of being obedient and NOT opening a cupboard and pulling things out - rather than simply not being able to. She also started doing it at other peoples houses which I find entirely DISRESPECTFUL of peoples things.



So; I decided that now was the time to stop it (always better earlier than later! :p)



What I started doing was 'popping her on the hand' which first of all seemed to work but didn't seem to do the trick consistently and then I noticed her POPPING my husbands hand when she didnt want to eat and he was feeding her. I decided that was not good obviously - she obviously thought she could do it too.



So then I got some fabulous advise from a Christian friend of mine and it has ABSOLUTELY made a difference.



It was to say no, then no again, and then the third time if they didn't listen; get on their level; look in their eyes and say - "i'm going to discipline you now because you......"; and then give her a spank on her thigh (she still wears nappies; so on the bum wouldn't work :p). Enough to surprise her and make her cry - but more because of the surprise than the pain as it wasn't that hard, more to make her realize that she will get disciplined if she didn't listen.



Now when I say no; she absolutely listens; and when she is being defiant (not many times at all now) I just need to say - do you want to be disciplined? or something like that; and she absolutely stops.



I have not had to pick up from cupboards/tvshelf etc for over 2 months now after doing that with her!!! It has been absolutely fantastic - and the good thing is; is that now she knows discipline; so anytime I need to tell her to stop or something she obeys absolutely most of the time.



The other day I was feeding her and she was being fussy; so I asked if she wanted discipline; and she IMMEDIATELY ate the whole thing up hahaha



The trick is being consistent; doing it with love (without anger) - you don't get angry in this process because it works so well; and also HEAPS of PRAISE when they get it right - they actually really want to please you.



I have to say that discipline does work; and it does not mean hitting or physical violence at all - after all...the Lord says 'Spare the rod, spoil the child' :) All my family and friends look at my daughter and see that she is not fearful of people or us; is kind to little babies and soft with them let alone others; friendly and happy with people; very loving and a very happy child and also VERY obedient to everybody :)



I was SPANKED when I was young -sometimes had to go outside and pick my own stick; or break the wooden spoon haha - I am absolutely fine and normal - and I actually respect my parents for caring enough to discipline me. (Seeing other kids around that don't know that discipline is a word!).



Anyway - I know that others simply will not agree with this; but thats ok - you don't need to put your comments on here - just let me have my say :)

Barbara - posted on 12/02/2012

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I beg to differ. I have raised several children, including my last who is now 15. Corporal punishment at age of 15 months only teaches your child to be afraid of you. If it takes fear to get any of my children to 'respect' me, I pass. I'd rather teach by interaction with the child, playing with a little one to redirect his attention to more appropriate areas, tickling his toes for 3 or 4 minutes and give him the attention he seems to need, especially with a new baby in the home. He's vying for the attention he once received because he was the only 'baby' there. Advanced children, curious kids need MORE interaction with mom and dad, not less.



The bottom line is that only you and his father can decide on discipline that you administer, but the kid needs to know why he was disciplined. At 15 months, I'm not sure, regardless of how advanced he might be, I doubt he'd really 'get it'. They are exploring their world, learning at an incredibly fast rate at this age, like little sponges soaking up information. Instead of thwarting this activity, I'd want to help him explore it appropriately and safely.

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