How do i explain to my 12 yr old what sex is? she just got her first period and its time for me to have that talk with her. Im just not sure on how to break down the intercourse part for her and i know that she will be questioning me about that. please help me!!! ;)

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S. - posted on 11/14/2012

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Haha sorry dove scary stuff ey! Give me preteens any day. I'm just glad my daughter has her head screwed on and comes to me with stuff like this but I have always (whilst wanting to crawl under a stone inside) answered what's come at me. My mam always told us to come back when we're older or we was too young to know, my sister came home pregnant at 15! Think that says her method didn't work.

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Jean - posted on 11/14/2012

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Please explain it to her. Don't give her too many details, but don't make everything out to be easy and nice. My parents never had any period or sex talk with me. I thought I was dying when I got my period because school made it sound like you bleed a bit on your undies then you are done! What a lie. Our sex talk was about how the man gently places his penis in and then takes it out and that is where babies come from. Places it where? I never knew there was a separate hole till I took anatomy in high school! Maybe I was sheltered, but I have found that the girls whose parents told them more and also explained to them when and how these situations are proper ended up in more healthy and stable relationships. If you don't believe in sex until marriage explain to her why and continue to talk with her and explain more as she gets older. Really awkward and strange I am sure, but I would have loved to have had the awkwardness compared to the confusion that greeted me in my late teens!

Dove - posted on 11/14/2012

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I did not need to read that, Stacey! Preteen/teen age is such a scary thing to deal with...

S. - posted on 11/14/2012

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She probably knows more then you expect, she will hear things from school friends. just start at the basics and take it from there, if she's old enough to ask she's old enough for a answer. Be honest with your feelings if she's feeling a bit embarrassed tell her it's ok to feel like that and you feel like that a little too but you need to be open so she knows she can come to you if she needs too. Expain about love and respect and the law too. I've always been open with my oldest from her being younger and she is now 13 she came home and said that a girl she knows has been fisted, I was utterly mortified but I told her the girl would be in a lot of pain if that had happened and explained what it was and that it wasn't a normal part of sex, I told her the girl probably got fingered and really hasn't a clue because she's too young to be doing anything like that (sorry I even cringed whilst typing that, it wasn't a conversation you dont want to have but if its thrown at you you have to deal with it) my daughter suprises me that a lot of the girls she knows are up to stuff and they talk I'd rather she gets the right, honest info from me. Good luck

Dove - posted on 11/14/2012

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Go back in time about 4 years and start from there. ;)



She NEEDS to have a full blown, full detailed sex talk asap as where I am.... some kids are giving birth at 12-13. If she's not fully aware... how can she protect herself?



Get a book if you have to, but please get it done now.

Alma - posted on 11/14/2012

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you have a long way to go!!! good luck tho... ;) have a blessed and productive day!

Lola - posted on 11/14/2012

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Lol that's true but atleast you'll have some idea or what range of stuff she knows lol that no problem, I know when the times comes I'm going to struggle with how to word things with my daughter luckily she's 6 months old now so I'm safe for a little while lol .:)

Alma - posted on 11/14/2012

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its so true they usually know more than what we think and thats why i always ask her to tell me what she knows first... not that she's going to b 100% honest with me lol but i least i have an idea. Thank you Lola!!

Lola - posted on 11/14/2012

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Uhm just tell her that when a man and a women love each other very much and can afford and have a stable home to raise and child in they decide to make a baby together and then if she asks how just try to soften the language a bit but other wise tell it to her straight she's going to learn about it all anyway and chances are she already knows more than you think lol.the last thing she is going to want right now is you to baby her when she's becoming a women.Best of luck!!

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