How do I get my 2 year old to sleep without a fight?

Tiffany - posted on 08/05/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

6

1

0

My daughter is 2 years and 3 months and for the past month or two I have had a big fight at bedtime. She gets out of bed when I shut the door and cries and screams at the door. Everytime I go in and put her back in bed, she does the same thing. If I wait until she is asleep to go in, she is laying in front of the door and I can't get it open to put her back in bed. This goes on for over an hour each night and I hate for her to sleep on the floor. When I ask her if she is afraid of something, she just says no. Help please.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Connie - posted on 08/05/2009

178

43

12

At 2 she knows she's missing out. She's going to bed, you're not. With the door closed, she can only guess at what she's missing out on. One option you may try is to put up a secure gate and keep the door open. She may not feel so abandoned and caged. If she wants to sleep on the floor next to the door, let her. put the mattress on the floor right next to the door. It hurts nothing and will let her feel that much closer and connected to you. Ensure that you have a solid, CONSISTENT bedtime routine with a warm bath, cuddle time with just a few different books you read, and the same soothing music every night. This trains her mind and body to begin the sleep process, in spite of her. A fan for white noise is also helpful, especially if there is activity still going on within her hearing after she is put down. You may need to sit with her until her eyes get sleepy, sitting near quietly or just keeping your hand on her back if she won't be still. Once they STOP, they will usually go out pretty quick, but at 2 they will fight it with all their might with jiggles, wiggles, requests and demands. Unfortunately, when they are exhausted, they fight it even more and seem even more hyper, when actually they are beyond reason. It should get better within a few months. By 3 they usually will accept a sleep routine and stay in their beds without as much issue. IF you are consistent and keep to your routine.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

11 Comments

View replies by

Chastity - posted on 01/30/2013

1

0

0

mine 2 year old wil just try and get up and she wil cries and she always saids that she wants 2 sleep her us but i tel her NO and leah she wil tel u to sut up are B i dnt know y she saids that but im trying 2 be a good mom but its hard wemt u are the only one that try put her in bed and i cant ever put her to bed i have 2 wait til 9 are 8 ca

Catherine - posted on 09/03/2009

13

9

1

I'm not a very big fan of dr. phil, but I saw an episode where a family was having the same issues trying to get their kid to sleep... I tried finding something about it on his site, but could only find this...



http://drphil.com/articles/article/519



That was an article for smaller children, but look around on dr. phils site, he has a lot of good parenting/child care/discipline tips.

Amber - posted on 08/05/2009

23

0

1

consistancy is the best thing to remember...i give my son a bath at about 730 then i play with him till 8:15 i then read him a book and give him and held him while he drank his bottle then i laid him down..yes the first week or so it will be hard b/c they will fuss check on them every 5 min and spend no more than a min with them with little as possibly attention..my son now will not go to sleep newhere but in his bed and everynite around 9 he grabs his blanky and comes up to me i then read him a book and put him to bed..it also helps not to give them a bottle in the bed b/c that will make it hard to break from a bottle.. I hope this helps!

Tiffany - posted on 08/05/2009

6

1

0

Thanks for all the responses. She does have a bedtime routine of bath, snack, a couple of books, brush teeth and then to bed. We have been letting her stay up a little later this summer since her sister is not going to bed early for school. She has always slept in her own bed and if she does wake up in the middle of the night, I can get her back to sleep in her own bed. If I try to sit with her, she grabs ahold of me and wont let go. I am wondering if it is an attatchment issue because I am with her all the time although I am just now able to leave her with her dad or grandparent for a few hours without a meltdown.

Katherine - posted on 08/05/2009

65,420

232

4963

Read the thread How to get my toddler to sleep in his own bed? There is a lot of great advice there :)

Jennifer - posted on 08/05/2009

73

31

9

Oh and be VERY consistant and STICK to your word....if you start caving and letting him/her stay up they will know they can get a way with it and fight with you ALL the time! 'Its bed time and thats it...no argurements'

Kappy - posted on 08/05/2009

70

0

2

My son didn't like sleeping alone either. Has she been sleeping with you all this time? If so, your strategy should maybe be a little different than someone whose child has been sleeping in her crib alone for a year.

We used a reward system to get our son to stay in his bed. Every night that he stayed in bed and did not come into our room, he got to go into our guest room and choose a REALLY GREAT toy off the guest room bed the next morning. We would take him in there just before bed and let him look over the toys, then into bed. Read a story, turn on some soft music (unidentifed noises are very scary to little kids, music covers those noises), sit for 3 songs, then out with the hall light on so there is light coming from under the door.
Over time, the rewards get less fantastic, but choose really awesome ones and have two weeks worth of great ones laid out on the bed for her. She can even help you choose them at the store, if you want.

Good luck to you! Remember, if she gets up during the night, and comes into your room while you are asleep, just take her back into her room no matter how tired you are. You could maybe tell her that you won't count this as "getting out of bed" because daddy didn't wake up, but she'll have to go back to sleep right away. You will only stay for one song. If she gets up again tonight - that's no toy.

That will probably do it for that night. It's worth a try!!! Worked for us - and he was a tough one.

Jennifer - posted on 08/05/2009

73

31

9

My son is 3 1/2 and we some times have a fight at bed time but its fading out over time...she may be too young for this, but maybe not, but when I have a fight with my son because its bed time, I will set with him by his bed and start talking about whats going on tomorrow...for example: "Tomorrow we are going to go to the park! do you want to do that?" and just get him thinking about how fun the next day will be and then after discussing plans for the next day I say "ok sounds good, but we need to get good sleep first so that the day comes faster and so that we are all rested up!" I think at that point hes got lots of happy thoughts in his mind rather then the sad thought that the current day is now over...something to look forward to rather then being upset that the fun has ended and now he must go ot bed...does that make sence?? i dont know but it works for me.

Also, I make sure to give him a heads up when bed time is coming ie: (15 more minutes son and its bed time......5 more mins son and were going to bed,) ect.

Hope this helps! Good luck!

Caitlin - posted on 08/05/2009

3

2

0

OMG I am having a similar issue with my 3 year old. Sleeping has always been difficult and now for us I think it difficult because we have to break old habits of laying with him forever or him falling asleep with us on the couch. It so trying on them and us as moms because its hard to see them so upset. I wish I had great advice, but I can empathize. I know for me I am going to pick a strategy and be consistent. The first few weeks will be tough but it will be worth it. I have a 6 year old and the sleep issue was hard but not like me 3 year old. best wishes, let me know what works for you.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms