how do i get my 9 month old to sleep trhough the night?

Marcia - posted on 06/29/2009

You should probably check out any books by 'The baby whisperer'. I saw one of her episodes on TV, where she used to say you should let the child know it's bed time, they're safe, it's time for bed, give them a hug or kiss but leave the talking at that. You shouldn't pick them up out of the cot, only to place them back in they're usual sleeping position and stay with them till they stop crying if they are, or look sleepy then leave the room. They should get used to putting themself back to sleep.



It's something I'll be thinking about soon as my son sleeps in our room, and is nearly the full lenght of his cradle. He'll soon have to sleep in his cot in his nursery and not in our room, but more importantly he's always breastfed on demand and I'm wondering how easy it'll be to get him sleeping through the night myself. He's nearly 5 months and only wakes at arond 4 or 5 am for a feed, but he has woken a few times when he's been hot or his gums have been hurting in the past 2 weeks. Other than that, he sleeps for 3-4 hour stints so I only wake twice a night now.



Good luck, I'll be watching out for results.

Deborah - posted on 06/28/2009

try cutting out one of the naps

. - posted on 06/28/2009

Quoting Tamara:

Quoting Cindy:

wow he is determined to bend you to his will. Truely if he is dry, has a bottle, and a good night kiss, he shouldn't require your services until morning.

You didn't say if he has teeth yet? If he is teething, he could have a reason for screaming. You might have to give him some tylenol before bed.

I would say it's time for a test. Get a sitter you trust - like your mom. You and hubby go away - out of the house - outside works to. (With a baby monitor if you have one.) Let the sitter be the meanie and put him in bed and walk away. See what happens.
If he is playing you - he'll go right to sleep. If there is an issue maybe a mom can shed some light on something you're missing.

You're babe could be over tired. You might need to force him to rest for 2 hour naps instead of 1hour. You might want to try earlier bed time - it sounds crazy but it might work. What about a warm bath before bed? Or maybe not a bath before bed? Some kids are recharged after a bath. Walking before bed could be recharging him to. (We do have a tv/dvd player in our baby's room and when he is teething/cranky/just awake we leave the tv on and he's fine with the light and company of voices)

Our youngest is in bed by 7pm and up at 8am. That was luck.
Our oldest used to go to bed at 9pm and was up at 6am and was a cranky little boy. I did not have time to schedual him before I went back to work. My bad. And I wanted to spend as much time with him when I got home as possible. My bad.
I quit working to spend time retraining the oldest and have the second one. We now have them both in bed before 8pm. I blacked out the eldest's windows. I will read one bedtime story or he can watch a video. 9/10 times he's out cold with in 20 mins.

Boy could he scream. Yes, I closed his door in the begining and let him scream. It was hard. He is my first baby and it broke my heart to hear him cry. But it had to be done. If hubby needs rest and won't help - get him a hotel room. My hubby happened to be out of town for week when I took the bull by the horns. But it was worth it. When I found myself alone and at my wits end I would go outside and take a deep breath. With the doors and windows closed tight I could not hear a thing. I also found a good book and a hot coffee on the deck was a nice way to relax.

Night lites are a must. If you can find ones that change colors during the night, go for it. I used christmas lights for the first while, then I found Glade makes some awesome products.

I hope some part of my rambling will help you out.

A 9 month old BABY is not determined to bend anyone to their will.  All they want is their needs met even if those needs are as simple as needing mom/dad to hold them and comfort them.  Can I ask if your husband was crying and desiring your comfort, would you let him simply cry and scream because he needed to "self-sooth"?  If the answer is "no," than why do it to your babies?

Honestly, it appalls me that you let your children scream themselves into exhaustion.  Its little wonder they fall asleep so quickly now.  They've learned you won't come when they are begging you to do so at night.

I strongly agree with Cindy here.

My son was a great sleeper until recently when he would wake up in the middle of the night, still tired and refuse to sleep. We had a very hard time getting our son back to sleep. 

He would wake up any where between 2.30-3am and it would take at least 2 hours just to try and get him back to sleep. I tried everything I could think of to get him to sleep. Offered food, bottles  gave him bonjela etc. I had to hold him when he was asleep and wait till he was in a deep sleep before I could put him back in his bed. If I didn't then, the second I put him in his bed, he would wake and start crying. We also get my partner's daughter every second week and one week day every other week. I was concerned that what my son was doing was going to wake her up, (as we take her to preschool the next day when she sleeps over on a week day)but luckly she sleeps through anything.

So out of pure desperation I called Plunket ( health care provider for kids under 5, they are kinda like a midwife service). The nurse I spoke to recommended that whenever he has naps during the day, to not let him sleep past 3pm. Then at around 5.30-6pm start the bedtime routine after dinner. She recommended that I give my son a bath, massage, read a book (I give him a bottle at the same time) then bed. But put him down when he is still awake so he can learn to fall asleep by himself. If he cries, then not to pick him up.

I now understand that I was rewarding my son by getting him up and allowing him to stay up for that period of time and letting him rely on me to hold him so that he got fall into deep sleep before I put him down.

I had also informed the nurse who I was talking to about the cry it out threads on here. She told me that if cry it out (called preventative crying over here) did damage a child then my no means would they recommended it.

It took me two nights doing this and now he is back in his routine.

Julianne - posted on 06/28/2009

Can you sit iin the room until he calms down? Maybe on the floor next to the crib so he can see you?

Jill - posted on 06/26/2009

Start winding down around 8:00. Bath time, lavendar lotion, read a story. Make sure the room is dark enough. Lay him down with a blanket and Tigger, say "night night" and leave the room. If he cries, let him cry for 15 minutes, then go in, check diaper, cuddle him for a few minutes, then lay back down and shut door. Wait 15 minutes. If still crying repeat above. Try to keep same routine every night at same time. The book that helped me was, Babywise. My daughter has slept through the night since 9 weeks. Hope this helps.

Amanda - posted on 06/26/2009

I had the same problem, my son would wake up and scream so many times at night. What worked for me was not picking him up but just standing by his crib, and letting him hold my hand. I couldn't stand his crying either! It's too hard to hear your baby cry like that. It takes a little while, but I definitely saw results. They understand that you will not pick them up, but they still feel safe. You've got to be determined though! One night picking them up just sets you back. Good luck!!

Erika - posted on 06/26/2009

I recommend reading the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. He's a specialist in sleep in children. Basically, babies have to learn how to fall asleep on their own. Whether you let your child cry it out or not is your choice. We decided to let our daughter cry it out at around 5 or 6 months because she was waking up often and not sleeping through the night. It broke my heart to hear her and I was crying with her, but we knew that this would be the best way. The first night, she cried for 1 hour, then slept for 12 hours! Each night, she cried less and less. She is almost 15 months old and she has been sleeping through the night for the most part (except for teething, which wakes her up sometimes). You know your child best, so if you think that crying it out would lead to sleeping through the night, it might be worth trying. Good luck :-)

Meg - posted on 06/25/2009

I recommend "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Mark Weisbluth. Helped us a ton. you will probably, eventually have to let him cry through it. it passes quickly! good luck.

Martha - posted on 06/25/2009

OK my baby is the same age and I'll give you my opinion, but ultimately you will have to come up with your own personal instinctual decision despite all our differing advice. I read lots of books, etc. and talked to lots of people and thought I wanted to let him cry it out. But when we tried it, it broke my heart and then my son refused to nurse for about 24 hrs. after that. I think he was beginning to realize that he could be more independent and he was learning exactly what the books said he would learn. But I realized that I wasn't in a rush for him to learn this independence, and that I want to nurse him to sleep every night until we're ready to wean him from nursing. It is such a special time for both of us and if it means he will continue to wake a few times in the night, so be it. That is what works for me. I don't want to let him cry, my mom never let me cry, and I sleep just fine and have since I was a toddler.

I will say it helps to have the earlier bedtime (we start bath at 7pm) and a very predictable routine that your child can anticipate. Of course you won't be able to do the exact routine every night (if you're traveling, etc.) but try to do it as much as possible. Hope this helps!

Nicola - posted on 06/25/2009

tey and get him 2 just have 1 longer nap in the day then, give him his dinner bout 2 hrs before he goes 2 bed also try puttin a rusk in his nite feed as he may still be hungry

Sarah - posted on 06/24/2009

Hi there,
I am so sorry that you are going through this tough patch. It is excruciating. It is SO PAINFUL to hear your baby cry like that, it goes against all of your instincts. However, logic tells you that they are also working you, and need to learn the skill of going to sleep sooner or later. It's a tough road.
The two things that have SAVED us, are 1, a really consistent evening routine. Bath, stories, nurse or bottle and then bed. #2, I am NOT A BABY WISE FOLLOWER! I THINK IT'S AWFUL! I do not think that it's right, nor do I have the fortitude to make my baby "cry it out". Instead, I would love to suggest the SECRETS OF THE BABY WHISPERER's follow up book, (The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems: Sleeping, Feeding, and Behavior--Beyond the Basics from Infancy Through Toddlerhood by Tracy Hogg and Melinda Blau). It agrees with Baby Wise on keep the routine during the day (to an infant predictable environment creates confidence and security), but then has a more middle of the road approach on sleep. Through the book, she teaches you how to TEACH you child to self soothe, and fall asleep alone without expecting them to figure it our themselves by letting them cry it out. It takes some worj on the part of the parents, but it is worth to maintain trust while teaching an important skill. We used this with my baby and it has really helped. Of course, teething or a cold can mess it all up, but otherwise has worked like a charm. Good luck to you!!

Vanessa - posted on 06/24/2009

Hi I had the same problem until 5 nights ago, Yes the doctor also said to let him cry!! I got the book "Solving your childs Sleep problems" Im telling you it really works!! My boy Noah has been like that since he was 6months old and he is now two and we have just got him sleeping through the night and in his own bed . Read it, it is worth is weight in gold!!

Julie - posted on 06/24/2009

Wow!! There are a lot of comments to this board. I didn't ahve time to read them all, so I apologize if this is repeated information. I read BabyWise and found some useful information in it. If I remember correctly, it said the same sort of stuff that was in our lifesaver, "The Sleep Solution".

Basically, it goes over the baby's basic needs: babies need at least 11 hours of sleep at night. It uses the cry-it-out method, but modified. You check in on baby at 5 min, 10, then 15 min intervals until 1 hour, then put to bed as normal. Our baby (at about 8 months) went to sleep (VOLUNTARILY) at 7:30pm after 5-6 days of this - it gets shorter and shorter time needed for her to fall asleep.

There are lots of different theories and thoughts, but crying sometimes is just a little discomfort in the new experience of self-soothing. This method worked for us, and our whole family is very happy. Note - you use the same method for night waking - but I always make sure there isn't a real reason for crying first, other than just falling back to sleep. It also says to avoid stressful times for the training week, such as moving, teething, illness, etc. Hope this helps!

Erica - posted on 06/24/2009

Babies go through developmental milestones that will affect their sleeping habits from time to time and cause "setbacks". I got the book "The Wonder Weeks" and "Bed Timing". Both are helpful in understanding your child's sleep habits. Good luck!

Candyce - posted on 06/24/2009

All 3 of my kids have slept through the night since they were 2 months old. I started from day one with a routine supper play snack play cup( or Bottle where ever your at) of milk or juice hugs and kisses then bed no if ands or buts let him cry its ok for him to cry. once he realizes its bed time and your not going to come in he'll settle into the routine and it will get easier it'll be rough in the start but worth it in the end. you are the parents hes the child what you say goes!

Jen - posted on 06/24/2009

My son was exactly the same way, and I coddled him till he was 14 months, then I couldn't take it anymore, not having time at night to myself. What worked for me (and it worked within 2 days), was I started early, saying, "Is it time for night-night?", "Let's get in your jammies", and other things like that, letting him know it was time to get ready. Then we sit down in the same rocking chair with his blankie and sippy and read a few books, always ending with the same book, then I sing the same 3 little songs to him, then he goes down. It gives him time to unwind and mentally prepare that it's time for bed. That's the importance of routines. I didn't get it at first, but kids are smarter than we give them credit for, so they understand repetition. They also are so full of energy that they need a chance to hold still and calm down. Some nights he cries a bit, but only once in a great while does he not calm himself down now, where before, he was completely incapable of doing it himself. Good, luck. It's tough.

Danielle - posted on 06/24/2009

I just replied to original post but am thinking by your response a few things... yes the teething, always a problem, but if he's standing up (and don't mean anything by this but if he can stand, you may want to stop using the sleep sack) he may not be able to get back down and that is why he is crying. Babies practice stuff in their sleep, standing being one of them but the problem is they can't get down. go in, don't turn on any lights, put him down and leave.

Danielle - posted on 06/24/2009

I think most kids don't sleep through the night until they're about 3 or so. Some can go back to sleep on their own, some need their mommas. All that being said, I noticed you try to wear your kid out before bed... too much activity gets their little minds winding and they need quiet time for about an hour before bedtime, also a routine is very helpful. Maybe read quietly, take a bath, sing a lullaby and put down. I am NOT a proponent of the cry it out method, therefore I suggest maybe going in when he cries, laying him down , patting him, putting the pacifier back in until he stops... all the while not saying anything, he knows you are there to comfort him. You also sound like you're trying too hard, and believe me I am speaking from experience.. it just took me an hour to get my 2yr old down for a nap, so the more relaxed you are, the more you let go of the sleep anxiety, the easier it will be for everyone... our kids feed off of us much more than we realize. Accept and take joy in the fact that your child needs you. And lastly, not sure if you work during the day but he could be experiencing separation anxiety. A friend of mine had this happen about the same age. You may need to consciencely spend more time with him. It isn't easy being a parent, especially with a sleepless child but remember this too shall pass. That's what I tell myself, that this wont last forever and the dishes, etc can wait. :) Good Luck.

Penny - posted on 06/24/2009

Personally, I never let my kids scream for more than 15 mintutes, 30 at the most if I need a shower! My kids both learned to sleep alone in their rooms in their beds exactly the same way, which surprises me b/c they are both complete opposites. First put him to bed when he is tired, but not overly tired, since this is frustrating for him and he can't express it. I put my kids in their bed with a pillow, regular size, but flat and firm, they like to be elevated like when they are on you or in your bed, next....they have fans in their room, out of their reach on low for the noise, it helps them not feel like they are missing anything, b/c they can't hear you...also, they don't wake up to every sound they hear outside! Next, my girls both feel asleep in the beginning to Baby Einstein's DVD on repeat play, after awhile they didn't need them b/c they got used to their room and their bed, but if you are totally against TV in his room, try a few night lights and give him lots of stuff to look at in his room.....colorful pictures on the wall or above the crib. It worked for me, hope it helps you too!

Patty - posted on 06/24/2009

My daughter was a great sleeper until 9 mons and then she did the same thing, I attributed it partly to teething, my husband being gone on deployment, sep anxiety you name it someone told me that was the reason, after 4 months of no sleep I tried the Ferber method (great book) I did not think it would work but it did...in 3 nights! we have not had a problem since but you have to be consistent! It is WAY better than listening to them cry themselves sick and though you may not sleep for the first few nights it will pay HUGE dividends when it works! Good luck-

Rianie - posted on 06/24/2009

Join the club ! My son is almost 11 months and I have the same problem ! He goes down about 7:30 or 8 o'clock and ONLY if I'm next to him. I still breastfeed at night so that helps a bit. But it's exhausting and he will still wake up at 3 o'clock for another feed or just to be cuddled. He will then sleep till 7:20. Please tell me if you find a solution !

Summer - posted on 06/24/2009

I asked my doctor the same thing when my son turned 6 months. She basically told me that he was just stuck in a bad routine. I really think that needed to learn to be a little more dependant. So we started feeding him dinner around 7:15 and a bottle at 9:30 and put him to bed at 10. If he woke at night I did not pick him up, I did not turn on the light and I did not move him. I let him whine a little longer and then went in to give him his binky. He would fall back asleep. After about 2-3 weeks he would then wake up and let out a short 1 second cry, find his binky himself and go back to sleep. My son now sleeps the same schedule as I, 10p to 5:30 (sometimes he even sleeps until 6)

Andrea - posted on 06/24/2009

Thanks for all the tips tricks and hints - I think our biggest issue is that we dont have a schedule so I'm going to try and get him on a day time schedule (I have a nanny) and make sure i stick to our night time schedule. He is teething pretty bad (he's got more teeth than a 9 month old probably should have) so I'm thinking that's what wakes him up at night...so I'll give him some love and Tylenol and make sure he goes back to bed.....I just cant take the screaming. He does not go back to bed - he stands up in his crib and just screams and bounces - IN HIS SLEEP SACK so i'm afarid he'll hurt himself. He's already knocked down the monitor a couple times in rage.

The lack of sleep is wearing on me so its hard to keep patient. Persistance and sticking to my guns is what i need to do! Its hard when he looks up at you with those tear filled eyes.....

I'll keep you posted....

Siana - posted on 06/23/2009

Quoting Andrea:

how do i get my 9 month old to sleep trhough the night?

He only takes two 1 hour naps in the day, i wear him out at night before i put him to bed - he goes about 9pm. He just sits up in his crib and SCREAMS until someone comes and consoles him. He screamed for over an hour last night! My doc said to let him scream but i can't take it. Any suggestions? I try to feed him before he sleeps, he's got his pacifier, I have nice water sounds, we're quiet, he's got Tigger, what more can I do? please help.

Hi Andrea

Wow, you must be nackard - show him who's boss, you can do it! 

The only thing I've been told through the Plunket Nurse (and it worked - but this was from when my son Ashley was around 9 weeks old so would be harder with a 9 month old) to make sure he had a bath, clean bum, drink, wind him, had his cuddly, book read to him (all a baby needs e.g. if he was sick/teething to give him some pamol/bongella) then put him down to bed with the mobile going.  Light's are out at around 7.30pm.  It hurt me at the start, but got easier. 

I would listen to his cries, if he did a fake cry or it was real (I judged whether he just wanted attention or something was really wrong).  So when it was a real cry, I would go to him and give him a cuddle, only changed him if he had a pooey nappy (cause that meant that it was bed time), gave another drink and burped him, then I would put him back down again with his cuddly and put on his mobile and go back to bed. 

I'm thinking, if you feed him solids before he goes to bed, he may have a bit of intergestion (may need around 1 1/2 to 2 hours to digest his food before he goes to bed. 

Only top him up with milk before he goes to bed.  May have something in the milk that doesn't agree with him, or he just wants plain attention. 

He may have wind - my now 2 year old still gets wind as he has a tongue tie so he gets wind a lot still.  Then Plunket advise not to let you baby scream for more than 10 minutes, you just cannot win!  Maybe let him scream for around 15 to 20 minutes, then go back in and bring up his wind after crying, then try the cuddle, drink thing again and put him back to bed.

Does he prefer a toy or something (cuddly) instead of his pacifier now? 

Not sure if this is a help.  Hope you get your son to sleep through the night soon!

Wishing you all the best and would love to hear your outcome...

Siana Regan

Siana - posted on 06/23/2009

Quoting Andrea:

how do i get my 9 month old to sleep trhough the night?

He only takes two 1 hour naps in the day, i wear him out at night before i put him to bed - he goes about 9pm. He just sits up in his crib and SCREAMS until someone comes and consoles him. He screamed for over an hour last night! My doc said to let him scream but i can't take it. Any suggestions? I try to feed him before he sleeps, he's got his pacifier, I have nice water sounds, we're quiet, he's got Tigger, what more can I do? please help.

Hi Andrea

Wow, you must be nackard - show him who's boss, you can do it! 

The only thing I've been told through the Plunket Nurse (and it worked - but this was from when my son Ashley was around 9 weeks old so would be harder with a 9 month old) to make sure he had a bath, clean bum, drink, wind him, had his cuddly, book read to him (all a baby needs e.g. if he was sick/teething to give him some pamol/bongella) then put him down to bed with the mobile going.  Light's are out at around 7.30pm.  It hurt me at the start, but got easier. 

I would listen to his cries, if he did a fake cry or it was real (I judged whether he just wanted attention or something was really wrong).  So when it was a real cry, I would go to him and give him a cuddle, only changed him if he had a pooey nappy (cause that meant that it was bed time), gave another drink and burped him, then I would put him back down again with his cuddly and put on his mobile and go back to bed. 

I'm thinking, if you feed him solids before he goes to bed, he may have a bit of intergestion (may need around 1 1/2 to 2 hours to digest his food before he goes to bed. 

Only top him up with milk before he goes to bed.  May have something in the milk that doesn't agree with him, or he just wants plain attention. 

He may have wind - my now 2 year old still gets wind as he has a tongue tie so he gets wind a lot still.  Then Plunket advise not to let you baby scream for more than 10 minutes, you just cannot win!  Maybe let him scream for around 15 to 20 minutes, then go back in and bring up his wind after crying, then try the cuddle, drink thing again and put him back to bed.

Does he prefer a toy or something (cuddly) instead of his pacifier now? 

Not sure if this is a help.  Hope you get your son to sleep through the night soon!

Wishing you all the best and would love to hear your outcome...

Siana Regan

Siana - posted on 06/23/2009

Quoting Andrea:

how do i get my 9 month old to sleep trhough the night?

He only takes two 1 hour naps in the day, i wear him out at night before i put him to bed - he goes about 9pm. He just sits up in his crib and SCREAMS until someone comes and consoles him. He screamed for over an hour last night! My doc said to let him scream but i can't take it. Any suggestions? I try to feed him before he sleeps, he's got his pacifier, I have nice water sounds, we're quiet, he's got Tigger, what more can I do? please help.

Hi Andrea

Wow, you must be nackard - show him who's boss, you can do it! 

The only thing I've been told through the Plunket Nurse (and it worked - but this was from when my son Ashley was around 9 weeks old so would be harder with a 9 month old) to make sure he had a bath, clean bum, drink, wind him, had his cuddly, book read to him (all a baby needs e.g. if he was sick/teething to give him some pamol/bongella) then put him down to bed with the mobile going.  Light's are out at around 7.30pm.  It hurt me at the start, but got easier. 

I would listen to his cries, if he did a fake cry or it was real (I judged whether he just wanted attention or something was really wrong).  So when it was a real cry, I would go to him and give him a cuddle, only changed him if he had a pooey nappy (cause that meant that it was bed time), gave another drink and burped him, then I would put him back down again with his cuddly and put on his mobile and go back to bed. 

I'm thinking, if you feed him solids before he goes to bed, he may have a bit of intergestion (may need around 1 1/2 to 2 hours to digest his food before he goes to bed. 

Only top him up with milk before he goes to bed.  May have something in the milk that doesn't agree with him, or he just wants plain attention. 

He may have wind - my now 2 year old still gets wind as he has a tongue tie so he gets wind a lot still.  Then Plunket advise not to let you baby scream for more than 10 minutes, you just cannot win!  Maybe let him scream for around 15 to 20 minutes, then go back in and bring up his wind after crying, then try the cuddle, drink thing again and put him back to bed.

Does he prefer a toy or something (cuddly) instead of his pacifier now? 

Not sure if this is a help.  Hope you get your son to sleep through the night soon!

Wishing you all the best and would love to hear your outcome...

Siana Regan

Angela - posted on 06/23/2009

My 22 month old is just sleeping through the night now, we changed her routine at 6 months old to 6:30pm shower, 7pm bed and it took about 2 weeks to get her into it, if she got upset I went into the room and consoled her until she calmed down (which could take ages) but we never brought her out into the lounge, I got a salt lamp as a night light and brought a rose quartz crystal for her room and it all kinda happened at once then In my own circumstances I couldn't stand to hear her cry (we're talking full on crying) so I continue to get up in the middle of the night to console her, different strokes for different folks - if you think you can be tough enough to let him cry then try one of the controlled crying methods, otherwise know that if you continue to getup during the night there will one day be a light at the end of the tunnel, but as far as getting him to bed at a decent hour it just took us some perserverance.

Meghan - posted on 06/23/2009

My daughter is almost 2 and dosn't sleep through the night...I just started playing some classical music on repeat so it plays all night on a little CD player I got for her put a couple of stuffed animals in her crib and after she falls asleep i put a cup of juice (or water if you prefer) and if she wakes up i hear and see her on the baby monitor and she is usually just playing with one of her animals and drinking her juice...then she falls back asleep...I also pretty much cut out a nap time during the day and i put her to bed at about 8ish...hope that helped a little

Michelle - posted on 06/23/2009

Routine!! Aaralyn is 6 months old now and has been sleeping through the night since 4 months. We do the same things with her every night. Bath, quality time, story and bed. I find she has a harder time if she gets overtired! Right now she's teething but sometimes she just wants me or her daddy! Sometimes we'll wait for a bit before going into her room, she'll often fall back to sleep rather quickly! I hope you get everything sorted out!!

Deanna - posted on 06/23/2009

Our little one was sleeping through the night at 14 weeks old. What worked for us, and it may not work for you, was we made sure we had him on a structured schedule. We would feed him around the same times everyday and put him down for nap and bedtime at the same times. Even if he wasn't ready for nap or bedtime we still put him in his crib and eventually he would fall asleep. When you feed him at the same time each day it also helps to regulate his metabolism. Which then gets his body on a good sleep routine. Structure is really important in creating routine. Hope this helps. Good luck!

Ashley - posted on 06/20/2009

Put him to bed much earlier than you are...like 6-7pm. He is screaming at 9pm because he is overtired.

Amy - posted on 06/20/2009

I really recommend the book "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg... really helped me when I was a new mom. Please read it!!!!

Jennifer - posted on 06/20/2009

Quoting Andrea:

how do i get my 9 month old to sleep trhough the night?

He only takes two 1 hour naps in the day, i wear him out at night before i put him to bed - he goes about 9pm. He just sits up in his crib and SCREAMS until someone comes and consoles him. He screamed for over an hour last night! My doc said to let him scream but i can't take it. Any suggestions? I try to feed him before he sleeps, he's got his pacifier, I have nice water sounds, we're quiet, he's got Tigger, what more can I do? please help.

  I think you should definitely put him to bed at around 7pm. There is a biological clock that babies have at that age that you try and work with.

Also, you said you've been tiring him out before bed- maybe try spending an hour or so before bed just winding down - a bath, books, no rough play etc...

I strongly suggest (I see others did as well) the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. He is a pediatrician that has devoted over twenty years to the study of infant/child sleep.

We had the same problem with my son at about six months. We used controlled crying for a few nights and now he gets all the sleep he needs- two naps a day and 7 pm to 6:30 or 7 am straight through!

Check out the book and see if you think it might work for you. The important thing is to have a well rested family.

Best of luck- feel free to message me if you have questions :)

www.mommynanibooboo.com

Latora - posted on 06/20/2009

my baby was the same way. what i did was during the day when he was at daycare i told them to keep him up all day til 12 and then let him sleep for about 1hr and then keep him for the rest of the day. when i get home from work with him i usually play with him for about a hr to wear him down. feed him a medium dinner and give him a warm cereal bottle. let him sit for about 20 to 30 minutes to digest his food. i then go run his bath water and i bathe him in that lavander soothing babywash that helps put them to sleep. once hes sleep i put either a blanket or a stuff animal under his arm to comfort him just incase he wakes up. if he woke up during the middle of the night we made it was boring as possible when we went in his room. warmed up his bottle and gave it to him while we rocked him back to sleep and he didn't wake up again until 5 or 6. i hope that this helped alot. feel free to ask any other questions

Natalie - posted on 06/20/2009

Keep him up all day long for at least 2 if not 3or 4 days...it'll be hard but treck through it, trust me it works.

n@

Tammy - posted on 06/19/2009

One thing you may want to try is cutting back on his nap. However long he usually sleeps in the afternoon, try waking him up 30 mins earlier. Don't let him sleep until he wakes up if you do that. Let him sleep the same length every day. If 30 mins don't help, cut back 15 more mins to 45 mins. It may not help the first or 2nd night, but eventually it will catch up with him and he will get more tired at night. Try your best to keep him up to the same time every night and don't put him to bed early if he gets tired earlier from getting a shorter nap. Hope this helps.

Patricia - posted on 06/19/2009

My 8.5 month old takes two or three naps of 1 hr each. He goes to bed between 7-8pm. I suggest trying an earlier bedtime, closer to 7pm. My son goes down ok, sometimes crying for 15 minutes or falling right to sleep after nursing. But, he wakes twice during the night. I've tried to ignore him, but I usually just get up and nurse him. Not sure what I will do after he is weaned... Good luck!

Kathleen - posted on 06/19/2009

I've been going through the "getting baby to sleep through the night" thing myself. Our baby is 6 mo 3 wks and had been sleeping with us. She started crawling early (at 6mo) and at night moves around in the bed. She actually crawled off the bottom end of the bed one morning prompting me to actually build the crib we had bought months before.

I read all the blogs (some people can be pretty harsh and opinionated) and experienced the pain of the Ferber "crying out" method (too rough for me to endure long enough for her to actually cry herself to sleep), and the Sear's method (she's too active to actually just lay there with my hand on her back till she falls asleep some times).

I did impliment a regular bedtime routine (dinner at 8, bath, lotion massage and change into bed clothes, read 2 books--the same ones for routine sake, then short breastfeeding.) She's pretty knocked out by then and is asleep in the crib within 5 minutes or less. It took about a 3-4 days to get the time down to the current 5 minutes or less it's currently at (before that it could go on for 20 minutes sometimes.)

She does wake a few times at night, but as this month of experiment has gone on, she actually doesn't wake up fully and calms herself back to sleep before I can make it in the room to comfort her about 1/2 the time. The rest of the times I usually pat her back and talk to her about how tired she is and what we did that day (my mom's advice).

Even if she's up and down, she usually tuckers herself out and doesn't need to be picked up out of the crib. There still are the few occassions where she's actually got a realllly wet diaper or is just plain antsy and won't settle. Those are the times I take her out and change her, walk around patting her back singing to her or even take her around with me while I do late night things like put away dishes--who doesn't get tired doing chores?

Bottom line, she sleeps from 9 to 11 or 9 to 2a, then again to about 4am and again until 6a, still comes to bed with me in the early morning for breast feedings (6-8am) and is actually thriving. Good luck and hope any of this is a little helpful.

Debbie - posted on 06/18/2009

and, it is never good to put them to bed with a bottle, but if you do, definitely nothing other than water! Sugar would just rot their teeth! If a kid learns to go to bed sucking on a bottle, then as they get older, they will probably demand something to drink to go to bed with them every night--that leads to bedwetting, so it's better to put them to bed with nothing other than their thumb or a pacifier.

Debbie - posted on 06/18/2009

My kids are all grown to teenagers now, but one thing that helped all 3 of them sleep through the night starting at 2 or 3 months old (10 pm-8 am) was adding a little cereal to their bottle. I know drs warn against not doing this, but for an 8 oz bottle, I might have added about a teaspoon of cereal, so it would go through the nipple hole. It gave their tummies that extra little bit of something to stick to them so they didn't get hungry. We also did a calming routine before bed--sit, rock, and cuddle with them to they were almost to the point of falling asleep, then putting them in the bed still half awake. They may have whimpered slightly, but it didn't take long for them to fall asleep, then we shortened the cuddling time and started putting them to bed a little more awake, and within about 2 weeks-viola! We would read a book, then put them down--no problems!

Kate - posted on 06/18/2009

Quoting Melissa:

Tamara give your opinion by all means but do not state your opinion as fact. is controlled crying was so bad doctors would not recommend it. they are not in the habit of recommending dangerous things for babies

You would be surprised how many doctors haven't actually read current research and/or have personal biases.  They are only human.  So if something a doctor tells you goes against your instinct as a parent, you shouldn't follow it.

Personally, I think a LOT of what doctors tell parents these days, if not dangerous, is at least not a good idea.

Kate - posted on 06/18/2009

He may be TOO tired when you are putting him to bed. Try putting him down earlier. Rock him, read him a story (set up a brief routine) and then put him down. If he screams, give him just a minute to see if he settles. If he stops crying or it changes to fussy/sleepy sounds, then wait. If he keeps screaming, go in and soothe him. My DD really liked to have a crib toy with some light in it so she could "read" her books. She also needed a night light. Reassure him as much as you can and eventually he will settle down. It may take some trying but you should keep comforting him until he gets over this phase, which he will. He is in the "separation anxiety" phase for sure now, so when you leave he thinks it's forever. Wouldn't you scream if your providers left you forever? But, it doesn't last. It will come and go throughout his life.

Rosemarie - posted on 06/18/2009

Andrea,



Did you try to check if he is teething and also give him a bath and a slight massage before going to bed. You can rub butter on his gun if he is teething.



Rose

Jude - posted on 06/18/2009

Watch the Nanny911 or Supernanny shows and they will show you the technique that works everytime. Too many parents don't realize that teaching a child to put himself to sleep is going to create a secure personality that can face the world. Your child learns most of his personality in the first few years- do him a favor and follow the nanny's way.

Lauren - posted on 06/18/2009

My son is 16 months and only started sleeping through the night a month ago, he was the seem as your son seems to be. The way I got him out of the screaming (which some night seemed to last hours) was to sit at first by his cot/crib until he went to sleep and every night do the same routine before bedtime. Over a period of a few weeks I was enable to move away from him cob/crib before he was asleep until finally i was enable to leave him. Hope that helps x

Julia - posted on 06/18/2009

Hi Andrea. I believe sleep begets sleep. It may be that he's too worked up to really relax into sleep. I also wonder if he's noise sensitive and you might need to sound proof his room a bit to get a longer sleep during the day? I don't know if this works, but bubble wrap on the windows is a good temporary sound proofing.The other thing I have used from birth is classical music. When I played it in the hospital, all the midwives remarked on it saying the way classical music timing works is very soothing. If you like water sounds, try Handel's Water Music, Vivaldi's Four Seasons or a compilation CD of gentle classical music (avoid the 1812 Ov.) My daughter is 10 months next week and has slept through the night since about 12 or 15 weeks. I did controlled crying (but there's a difference between calling out and screaming for comfort) for two nights and couldn't take anymore. But by the third night she was ok. And finally, and this is a tough one after so many months of no sleep yourself, try and relax about sleep yourself. Smile when you put him into bed and be excited about sleep time. We've always smiled when we've put our daughter to bed and telling her we love her and will see her in a moment when the sun comes up. Hope these help. Take care of yourself and try not to stress about him too much. J.

Jessica - posted on 06/18/2009

My son is 2 months old and does not sleep through the night or anything close to it. I do, however, get the most sleep out of him in the first shift. Like other moms have said, you've got to give him some kind of routine. It really does help. And I have also been told that babies have an internal clock that suggests that 7-8 o'clock is bed time. I was putting my little guy to bed at 9:30 and got only two hours out of him. Now that I've settled in a routine of lotion and bottle before bed and put him down at 8, I get at least 4 hours out of him. Changing his bed time and establishing a routine is working for me and I just started it this week.
Good luck to you!

Tanya - posted on 06/18/2009

try to give him a bath before put him to bed, it is alway work with my daughter and also try to give him a bottle before he goes to sleep .

Therese - posted on 06/18/2009

I just remembered - One important thing is to make sure the environment is sleep-inducing. Make sure the crib is free from toys, the room is at a comfortable temperature, there is white noise, and the lights are all dimmed. Aside from a routine, you also have to set the right mood in the room for him. Also, the whole point of getting your baby to sleep is to teach him how to self soothe. While I was sleep training Natalie she would still wake up once or twice the first few nights, but I would simply rub her back and say quietly "shh...go back to sleep Nat, good night", and she eventually would without me having to nurse her.

Pam - posted on 06/18/2009

I agree with the other mom's here-routine and naps are key. have you read "No-Cry Sleep Solution"? It stresses regular naps (at LEAST an hour long) and going to bed early with a routine. I was putting my baby down at 9 pm as well and waking up every 2-3 hours. Once I started doing a routine at 6:30-7 and putting her down no later than 8 she started sleeping in longer increments.