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How do I get my boys to stop screaming at the door?

Savannah - posted on 07/20/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My boys are 2 and 1 and every time I have to go into another room and leave them behind they come to the door and SCREAM!!! I'm only gone for a minute or so but they just can't handle it. This is regardless of whether their dad is there or whatever. They stick their hands under the door and just seriously freak out! So a lot of times I take them with me but I am not going to take them into the bathroom with me! No way. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to get them to stop?

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Robin - posted on 07/20/2009

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My kids are now 10 and almost 5. I had the same issue. It didn't matter to them what I was doing they would barge in. I started locking the doors and turning the loud bathroom fan on so I didn't have to hear them but my oldest started unlocking the door. Of course Michael picked up on how to do it so my day or two of relief ceased. They finally got over it to an extent and leave me alone but I did have to yell and hurt their feelings a bit for it to happen. Unfortunalty your kids are at the age where seperation anxiety is at it worst. I am sorry :( They might have to see you poop. Some thing really suck as being a parent.

Amaryllis - posted on 07/20/2009

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Patience, reassurance, and downright stubborness... my 18 month old did that (although my oldest child never did, so I think it's just in their individual characters). My way of coping with it, which seems to be paying off, is to say, calmly and firmly 'back in a minute', then leave the room, if they're screaming just continue talking in a calm voice so that they can hear you, but don't give in and take them with you or come running back sooner than you would have done. When you come back, a little stroke on the hair or a quick hug, but just stay calm and act as if they're not freaking out. And then after a while, they get to recognise your 'back in a minute' (even before they're talking or understanding much, they do associate repetative sounds with patterns of behaviour, if you stick with it). My little one is much better now, he only really has a go when he's very tired. But it will probably be quite hard to break the habit now they've got into it, you'll have to be very firm! I really can't stress the importance of a calm voice though, it's your biggest asset in dealing with problem behaviour.

Sharon - posted on 07/20/2009

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I ignored it.



When I came out I ignored them too. When they calmed themselves I gushed about how quiet and sweet they were being. How much I appreciated their calmness. One yr old is difficult to teach this too - its probably mostly the 2 yr old.



Poor you to have them so close together. My brother and I were a year apart - My mother said it nearly drove her mad - but later she was glad because we went through our phases together and left the house at about the same time!

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