How do i get my daughter to sleep in her own bed?

Shelia - posted on 07/08/2009 ( 24 moms have responded )

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when i lived in fl we were in a house the size of a cracker jack box and no room for even a lil rocker bed to put my daughter in when she was born our bed was a matress on the floor because there was no room and it was a dirty place to boot and there were problems in the house i won't go into but i deffently didn't want to put her in the living room(one bed room) i moved back to michigan and my daughter has her own bed now but the damage is done and i can't get her to sleep in her own bed i'm a single mom so it doesn't bother me much but she is almost 4 and needs to sleep in her own bed and i have tried everything under the sun to get her to sleep in her own bed i work over 40 hr a week and i have given in because she will carry on crying till 4am and i have to be up at 5:45 to get ready for work so thats something i can't deal with but in the end its time and i'm still trying to work with her but i'm at my wits end....please any advice anyone?

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LaDonna - posted on 07/08/2009

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unfortunately you just have to remain strong i would start on a weekend and just hold out it is better for her to sleep in her own bed think about what you would do if you started to date seriously and your daughter was sleeping in your bed. Super nanny deals with this a lot so i would look up some previous episodes. I feel for you I've been there wish you the best

Kierstin - posted on 07/08/2009

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It took one day for me to get my son to sleep in his own bed. I did it during his nap time and everytime he got out i put him back in. After 4 times, i spanked his butt a little and layed him down again. He got the point. He now willing goes to sleep in his own bed! If you're not into swatting, you just have to keep putting them back in bed....

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Kathy - posted on 07/11/2009

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I have the same problem with my 7 year old. She goes to bed in her own bed every night, but by 10:00 or 11:00, she climbs into my bed with me. If you find something that works, let me know! I have been trying for 7 years, and haven't had any luck yet.

Lori - posted on 07/10/2009

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I have also been trying to get my little one back to his own bed, I lay with him, he falls asleep, but by about 4 a.m., he can climb up into bed. I sleep so hard, I don't even realize it, but my hubby and I really need to just be alone again, YKWIM? He is fixing to turn 2, and no matter how many times we put him in his toddler bed, he gets up and ends up in our bed? Anyone else have this and a solution? I am need of some advice ladies!

Lydia - posted on 07/10/2009

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Couple of things I dont know if youve tried - you said about wanting to play in her bed. If she has any toys etc in there maybe take them out and set her a seperate play area so she associated the room with quiet time (using blues and deep greens will also help with this). You could also try easing her into it by making her take her daytime naps in there before going for the overnight stretch (thats what I did with my bub but she was much younger so would still probably be more difficult for you unfortunately) All I can say is best of luck to you :)

[deleted account]

When you are trying to put her into her bed do you talk to her if she gets up? Because if you're talking to her or cuddling with her then she's getting what she wants everytime she gets up. You have to just carry her back to bed without talking to her or comforting her. I know that it can be hard to listen to your child cry. I think that it's important for you to get a support person, someone you can call when you're having a rough time who will encourage you that you're doing the right thing and keep you focused on your goal. Good luck!

Emma - posted on 07/10/2009

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I got my 2 year old to sleep in her bed, buy taking her to pick her own cover and special teddy that stays on her bed. cut out card letters and put her name up. and she now owns the space, its hers. it worked for me. Good luck.

[deleted account]

I bought a ghosty from ikea. it is a rechargeable soft glow ghost night light. comes in blue, green or reddy pink about £10 (can't fully remember). it detaches from the cord so they can take into bed with them. we told my youngest it was his bedtime buddy but he could only sleep with it in his bed!! He's never even wanted to go in ours anymore.

Fiona - posted on 07/09/2009

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Can't say I agree Deb. I am having the same trouble with my 11 month old sleeping in our bed, I couldn't bear to listen to her scream herself to sleep, it causes too much stress for her, myself and my husband. I think I am going to try Nichole method, it may take longer but it will be less heartache for all of us!!

Debbie - posted on 07/09/2009

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I've read through some of the replies and it is difficult to deal with a strong willed child, no doubt about it. But you need to decide that this is going to stop NOW. Make your room off limits. Tell her that no amount of crying or screaming will make this rule change. If fact put her on her own bed and encouage her to yell. But under no circumstances will she ever get back to your room, even to play. Sart this rule when you have days off so you don't have to be up early. Once you begin do not back down.

[deleted account]

hi, start small i done this with my twins at nap time and bed time .i never had a problem with them wanting to stay in my room ,but you may want to give it a try go to the store buy a can of airfreshener decorate the can with consturtion paper draw clouds and stars on it and spray just a little bit at nap and bed time tell your child that she has to hurry and go to sleep realy fast so she can have sweet dreams i called it sweet dream spray. good luck

Shelia - posted on 07/08/2009

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thanks i just might try that...that sounds like something my daughter might go for

Nichole - posted on 07/08/2009

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I'm a single mom and many probably wouldn't agree with my approach to it but by being a single mom..you do whatever you need to do to get sleep so you can function. With my oldest, he co-slept with me from birth till he was 2. At that point I wanted him to sleep in his own bed. I tried numerous things before giving up and what I ended up doing was taking his mattress (I had two crib mattress cuz I had a crib and a little race car bed) so I took his extra mattress and laid it on the floor next to my bed. I did this to get him used to not sleeping directly by me in the same bed. I did this for a few weeks. He was reluctant at first but figured out that he could choose to sleep on the mattress on the floor in my room or go to his own room. After he was fine sleeping on that mattress, I started laying with him in his bed in his room till he fell asleep. Then I would go to bed. If for some reason he got up in the middle of the night, he would come into my room and crawl into his mattress on the floor (barely ever woke me up). He only did that for a month or so before he started stayin in his room all night long. I can't stand to see them 'cry it out'. My method may have taken longer but I never lost my sanity in the process because it wasn't dramatic and he knew he was loved the whole time. Good luck!

Shelia - posted on 07/08/2009

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ya i've tried it all it seems and its like fighting and endless cause i've watched nanny 911 just to come up with some new ideas and trust me the dating some one is commin up quick i know she needs to sleep in her own bed it at the same time isn't healty for her to be in my bed she is starting school in the fall so bed time is at 8:30-9 and i want her to be in her own bed by sept

Gayle - posted on 07/08/2009

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I am having the same problem. I have tried it all. I have a 3yr old boy, who is not going to sleep without me, no matter what. Does anyone have any answers besides these???

Stacey - posted on 07/08/2009

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With my oldest daughter i would lay down with her in her bed till she fell asleep then go to my own and leave a night lite on, with my youngest we let her fall asleep with us and then carry her to her own bed, and still leave a night lite on!! (Night lights can be life savers!)

Shelia - posted on 07/08/2009

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well she goes to sleep in my bed by herself i don't lye down with her anymore but when it comes to her own bed she just won't do it (the first thing i tired was lyin down with her in her own bed till she fell asleep but all she wanted to do was play but not in my bed) i even tried a toddler bed but she wouldn't so i went out and bought a twin bed thinking if she likes my bed so much i'll get her one like mine(but small) then keep putting her back to bed each time she gets up results in me being up till 4 am i've even asked the doc why after all that crying and a lil swat on the but to get the poin threw why she just wouldn't tire out and fall asleep and i've tried all that he suggested we do the routine of movie teath book hugs and kisses and bed but for some odd reason no bed but mine even with a night light in her room she refuses to go to her own bed i've even played the your a big girl now card (worked for potty training and alot of other things) but not for bed time (i sleep with a fan but when used in her room she kept getting up and turning it off) in the end i'm just soo tired having to get up to go to work that early that i cave and i know she knows i will (to smart for her own britches if you ask me) i've even tried to reason with her and say like if you go to sleep in your own bed tonight we'll go to the beach as a reward tomorrow she never does and we don't go i don't cave in on that aspect its just i'm loosin way to much sleep i'm luckey if i sleep 5hr a night if that and shes at that age if i pick her up to put her in her own bed she wakes up and freaks :(

Teresa - posted on 07/08/2009

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I had the same problem with my daughter. She loved to sleep with me. And Kate was about four at the time, too. The solution we used takes about a week and you will have to white knuckle it, but I know you can do it. We used the Supper Nanny approach. That is you pick a bed time. (This works best if you get her tired out from a day of a lot of play) Then go through the bedtime routine (brush teeth, read stories, say prayers whatever you do) then you put her to bed in her own bed give her kisses and hugs and leave. When she gets out of bed put her back in bed give her a kiss and a hug but don't say anything to her. When she gets out of bed after that (and she will) just take her back to bed and don't say anything. Most importantly don't get mad, don't say anything or show any reaction, and don't give up. Kate was so persistent that I only got to the top step before she would be out of bed. It was an exhausting process but after about 45 minutes she finally fell asleep in her own bed. The next night was actually worse because she knew what was coming. Do the same routine and proceed the very same way you did the first night. It actually took us longer the 2nd night, but after about an hour and a half she was asleep. Every night thereafter, it got better and better. Till we would (after only about a week) do our bed time routine and she would hop right in bed and stay there. It was pure heaven when she finally did, but it was an exhausting week for me. As it will be for you too. But totally worth it in the end. If you have questions, please feel free to get in touch. Good luck and let us know how things work out.

Kierstin - posted on 07/08/2009

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some added advice...i sleep with a fan on, that way if he cries i can choose not to hear it! There's no reason for them to be up that early in the morning... so maybe you can look into sleeping with one on :)

[deleted account]

What we do is allow our daughter to fall asleep in our bed and after about 30 - 45 minutes we put her in her crib.She has been sleeping in her crib for about 6 months now.That way she thinks she's sleeping in our bed but actually she spends the whole night in her crib.

Deloris - posted on 07/08/2009

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My husband doesnt like kids in the bed due to so many stories of parents smothering them in sleep..anyways my 5yr old did the same thing with us and so I had to break her when I married my hubby I was a single mom as well.. we would let her sleep with us till she fell asleep and then take her to her bed..she would come back of course or sometimes cry out, so we would repeat the cycle it took alot of patience but it is worth it.. so just remember when she comes to you or crys out get her put her to sleep and take her back to HER bed each time she will get used to it.Prayers and blessings

Heather - posted on 07/08/2009

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My daughter is 3 and still has a problem sleeping in her own bed. There are nights that I put her to bed in my room and then when she is good and asleep I move her. There is also the reward route....Tell her if she can sleep in her own bed evernight for 5-7 days you will buy her a new special toy or take her for ice cream or something along those lines. Hopefully by the time you are done with that week she will be in a pretty good habit of sleeping in her bed. Also, this works pretty well with certain things with my daughter, play the your a big girl now card and she may just take the bait. Good Luck and sending good sleepy karma your way.

Jadie - posted on 07/08/2009

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Awhh bless her =).. As a single mum i let my daughter sleep in my bed from day dot becase im a soft touch lol.. luckily enough Alisha decided at around 6 months that she didnt want me cuddling her at night time anymore so i put her in her bed and since then she has been 12 hours a night in her own bed in her own room lol.. Have you tried making a bed up on the floor in her room which you can sleep on, and move gradually towards the door each night untill your out of the room lol! ive seen this method work before =) x

Desiree - posted on 07/08/2009

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Well, I lay my daughter in her bed and lay next to her to act like we're sleeping together. As soon as she falls asleep, I get up. (Or, you can lay your head in a way that looks like you're in her bed.)

I always keep a night light on in the hallway for when she wakes up in the middle of the night and walks to my room - lol.

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