Mazy - posted on 10/25/2011 ( 34 moms have responded )
I'm scared, really scared of snapping at my kids. Not just yelling, but possibly hurting them. I have two boys that are 18 months apart (AM is 28 months, IM is 10 months) & they are driving me insane! The older one WAS toilet trained, but has reverted back to wetting himself & doesn't seem to care if he has wet pants. However, he WILL NOT let me go back to diapers. He was fully toilet trained since 18 months, but just within the last month or so has started peeing again. If I try to go back to diapers, cloth diapers, or pull-ups he hits, bites, screams & just takes them off. He will go through every single pair of pants in one day. I've tried several types of reward systems & none of them matter to him. He even tossed his toys BACK into the toy jar!! I'm at a loss.
The younger one is even scarier. He is always banged up & bruised because he gets into everything. He's been walking for almost two months now, & able to climb stairs & furniture for three or four. He's always climbing up to high places & JUMPING! I found him jumping out of the bathroom sink once & he JUMPED down the basement stairs this morning (thank God I have a cat!! He landed in the litter box & was miraculously unharmed.) I try so hard to childproof, but he still manages to climb over (or just push out) gates, or his brother opens doors for him, or someone has left a cord somewhere...I'm sure when other people look at my baby they must think that I beat him because he always seems to be bleeding from the head. I'm so afraid that he's going to have some type of brain damage. The part that really angers me though is that he doesn't seem to care. Even when he fell down the stairs, he was laughing! Later his brother pushed him against a chair so he ended up with a big gash on his forehead, & he laughed at that too!
There is so much screaming going on, I can't take it, AM screams & bites his little brother every day. I scream back at him. IM screams about the screaming...Neither of them will focus on anything at all, they just throw toys around the room all day long & shreik. My house is always a slovenly pigsty & I can't clean it up. As soon as I mop, someone dumps food on the floor. I do know that I get most frustrated right before my period & that's usually when I'm the most afraid of hurting them. I have spanked AM out of anger before & I don't want to do it again. (Any tips on how to deal with PMS?) Right now I'm a stay at home mom, but I am thinking about going back to work just to escape them.
P.S. I already know what some responses will be. I can't go to a gym or "get out" for a few hours because my husband comes home just in time to put them to bed (7:30/8pm) and then I have to clean. Often, he leaves again right after they go to bed. Also, I don't have any female friends in the area, so girls night out doesn't work too well for me. Also, I've tried taking the kids to group places, like the library, but they misbehave so badly that we have to leave. They don't sit through storytime, instead run around, or hurt each other.
:( Thanks for any advice!