How do I know when my 12 year old daugther is going to start her period?

Diane - posted on 06/23/2012

i highly recommend this book Cycle Savvy
Empower yourself with the answers to those pesky questions you've always been too embarrassed to ask. Cycle Savvy will help you finally understand what is happening with your body every single day. Then apply your new-found knowledge to answer these questions, among scores of others:

http://cyclesavvy.com/

Kim - posted on 06/20/2012

My sister was 12 I was 14

Pamela - posted on 06/20/2012

My daughter was 12 when she started her period... mine had started developing, and stuff, i dont know when she started developing before the period actually began, but i would say about 6 months or so before, my daughter now is 26,
Hope this helps....

Jodi - posted on 06/20/2012

Sara, one situation doesn't make it not true. It is *generally* accepted that girls are pre-programmed to begin puberty around the same time as their mother did, just as their labours have a tendency to be similar to their mothers' and the time of menopause tend to be very similar (roughly). Environmental factors can come into it, and everyone is individual, BUT as a general rule, it is true. It simply wasn't true for you. For many it is.

Sara - posted on 06/19/2012

Not true... my mom was 11 and I was almost 15.

Chris - posted on 06/19/2012

Both My daughter and I were 10.

Kimberly - posted on 06/19/2012

I do agree with another poster that not bringing it up is NOT the way to go. Just have a matter of fact discussion about it. Let her know what to expect and tell her where the supplies are that she will need. When your daughter does have it she will either tell you she started or she won't. Don't get hurt feelings if she doesn't want to talk about it. If she does tell you and seems excited and she would like to celebrate then by all means follow the one pster's suggestion to have a special mother daughter day to celebrate. However, take the cue from your daughter. Some daughters would be horrified at the thought of going out to celebrate the start of their period and could be emnbarrassed by all the hoopla. Good luck.

Elfrieda - posted on 06/19/2012

If many of her friends already have it, she'll probably be somewhat relieved to get it. I was 13, just about to start grade 8, and I was relieved but certainly not excited. My mom basically said, "Well, there it is. Lucky, lucky you. (with deep sarcasm) But we're women we can handle it. Here's where I keep the pads, let me know if you start cramping and need Advil, and here's how to clean the sheets and panties if there's a spill. Any questions?"



It was fine, no embarrassing party or big announcement to the family, just very matter-of-fact, and she never brought it up again except to tell me that her cramps got much better after she had her first child. I didn't feel like I couldn't talk about it, just that there really was nothing much to say about it. I vaguely remember something about tampons when we were going to the beach. I think she handed me the box and said, "I hate them, some women like them. Read the instructions, be careful not to wear them too long or you'll get toxic shock syndrome and die."



You know your family and daughter, so just give her some support and some space and I'm sure everything will be fine! :) Maybe you should give her a small pad to keep in her backpack just in case it starts when she's at school. That was always my biggest fear, that the boys would know! The horror! ;P

Pamela - posted on 06/19/2012

When it happens. Just like it did with you! Why would you want to know? When it happens she will tell you. Make sure to have a conversation with her NOW about things that may occur. Teach how about sanitary napkins and how to use them. Tell her about asking her best friends to clue her in if spotting shows on her outer clothing in the back (which often happened to me in high school).

It is also a good time to sit down and explain about emotional feelings and sexual attitudes and practices. Even though her emotional body may not be there, her physical body will be when that time comes.

Look for books to help you explain. Check your local library. Ask a librarian is she knows of any helpful material or where to obtain it. The best to you in your efforts!

Sharon - posted on 06/19/2012

Whatever you decide to do, remember, you will give her the best advice for her. You are her mom and know her the best of any of us. Gauge your discussion to where she is at. Some find it disgusting, some don't. Only you know your daughter.

If she thinks she smells funny, and she will to herself, a body cologne will help her. Baby wipes or adult ones (Cottonelle) helped my daughter when she feels gross, but not shower gross.

TIP: When you have a whoops that time of the month, soak the stained underwear/pants in water with baking soda in it and the stain is gone after laundry. You probably all knew that but I have just discovered it. Before that, things were disposable or kept in a special place for use that week in the month.

MaryAnn - posted on 06/18/2012

my daughter is 11 1/2 yrs old. She started her first period just 4 months ago- start talking now! have a kit ready for her to use- just in case you aren't home when she starts.. luckily i was home the morning she woke up and discovered that she needed that. since we talked about this, and were open with discussing this with her, she did not panic. don't be afraid to approach her with this discussion.. trust me- she is probably already hearing about this in conversations with friends.

Christina - posted on 06/18/2012

Wow, I couldn't disagree with Ashley Hill more! As some of the posters have said, just teach her about it like you taught her about other bodily functions. It is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. It's never too early to talk about it, even if she doesn't get it for a year or two. I did get mine early, but my mom had given me a book called simply "period" that was a book written to my level (then 12) and I was prepared for it. I am sure you can find something on Amazon that would do a good job of introducing the subject. Give her a chance to look at it on her own, and then be open to any questions she has. Talk about your experience honestly, my mom told me that her mom told her NOTHING and she was scared and confused when it happened. That is why she made a proactive effort with me, and I must say I had none of the embarrassed, dirty, gross feelings Ashley talked about. Good luck!

Eva - posted on 06/18/2012

true - you don' need to talk about it if she's not ready. Just make her feel special and valued. Then take it from there.

Ashley - posted on 06/18/2012

I started at 11 and I know I was embarressed n didnt want anyone to know, including my mother even though she told me all about it. And a couple of my cousins started at age 11 also and they both were the same way. Didnt want anyone to know, felt gross and didnt want to talk about it even thought they also knew all about it. I dont know your child but if I were you just dont really bring it up because in my case dealing with a few instanses, its very embaressing and humilliating to get it let alone talk about it.

Lori - posted on 06/18/2012

I got mine on my 12th birthday.

Look at family history on your side as well as her dads side. You can probably guess at the average age that she may start with that info.

Eva - posted on 06/18/2012

Hello, Sarah
Both my girls (now 21 and 17) had their periods at 12 years old, but it could also still take 2 years. It depends on her physical development. Often, the period comes even before the breasts are fully developed. The most important thing for you to do is to be open, matter of fact and NOT awkward about it. Teach her how to take care of her body - the same way you taught her to make her bed, brush her teeth and tie her shoes. Help her understand the responsibility that comes with it, but equally also the miracle and wisdom of nature. Help her be proud of being a woman by being proud of your own Womanhood. There are sweet little books called "What's Happening to my Body?" that are really helpful as well.
I had a Mom-Girl get away with each of my little ladies when they first started their periods, celebrating the transition into Womanhood: a manicure, a walk in the woods, a dessert at the local bakery, a concert: something wonderful to mark the day.
Have fun! Girls are wonderful!
Eva

Ivy - posted on 06/18/2012

My mother started when she was 13 and so did my older sister and I. Definitely talk to her about it asap so she is prepared, in 5th grade they should a video to my class about what was going to happen. I had the unforunate experience of starting when I was at my dad's for the summer and only my brother & dad...so I didn't even know what products I needed; so explaining that too is a great idea!

Susan - posted on 06/18/2012

I hope when it does come that you are able to treat it like a special milestone! Maybe the two of you can go out for tea or a movie or shopping or something. Girls always remember their first period, and they always remember how their mom reacted.

Sharon - posted on 06/18/2012

I started when I was 13 and have 2 daughters. The oldest started when she was 15 and the youngest when she was 14.

Sore breasts and moodiness, although in my youngest who is easy going the moodiness was/is not as noticeable as it was in my oldest who is more quiet and slightly more moody.

I knew nothing about it when the oldest one started she dealt with it herself.
The youngest, however, I found that I knew about as much as she did about when it was going to come, and being a tomboy, even though she knew what to expect, she was not excited in a good way when it happened and infact wanted to quit school. She figured everyone would know that she was wearing a mattress between her legs.

She practiced walking up and down the hallway and then asked me to show her how to walk for that week. I mimiced her and told her not like that. She was walking with her legs together from the knees up and trying to keep the same length stride as last week. By the time she got to the end of the driveway for the bus she had it figured out. About an 8th of a mile. Even now, she is not regular and never knows when things are going to happen.

No, excited is not a word I would have used, except that she started in the shower and thought she had really cut herself shaving her legs, had no idea where the blood was coming from, til she inspected her legs and calmed down and thought about it. Mind you, she was not impressed that she had to be a girl since she was 4 yrs old.

Sarah - posted on 06/18/2012

Thank you ladies for all your help! I've started speaking to her last year about it and she knows all about what to expect and so forth. I started when I was 13, so lets just wait and see. She turns 13 in a few months.

Jodi - posted on 06/18/2012

To add to what the other ladies have said, I found that with my stepdaughter, her moodiness changed about 12 months or so before she actuall had her first period. I have heard from others that this is very common. It seems that PMS begins before menstruation does. So when you start noticing that cyclic moodiness, it is probably a sign that it won't be too far away.

Louise - posted on 06/18/2012

Most girls follow in their mothers footsteps. If you started at 12 so will your daughter, if you started at 16 so will your daughter.

Breast buds tend to become sore and uncomfortable and she will complain that they hurt, she may get tummy cramps. If you think that she may be about to start then make sure you have explained to her what happends and why it happends and tell her about sanitary wear. If she is informed she wont be to upset about it and will be quite excited that she has become a woman!

Sarah - posted on 06/17/2012

Girls can get their periods most commonly between 12-15 years old. Though some can get it as early as 8-9 and as late as 16-17. I was 11, my identical twin was almost 14.