How do I put my baby to sleep/nap

Katie - posted on 12/25/2008

im glad it worked yay!

Marci - posted on 12/24/2008

I keep trying to post a response. She is going to sleep in her crib with no crying. I give her a bottle and rock her for a bout 5 minutes. I let her finish her bottle in her crib and tell her to go night night. She lays down and wiggles for a bit and then falls asleep. What a miracle. I didn't even have to do the crying it out method. yahoo. Thank you to everyone for their ideas. Merry Christmas.

Coral - posted on 12/23/2008

Sooo Idk if it's because I've talked to you all about my problem with my son but this week has been very different! He now will go to sleep in his own bed as long as I am laying on the floor next to it, as long as i'm there, he will go down with out rocking. If he hears me leave he will cry again but he doesnt even need to see me there whole time, he was faced away from me while he went to sleep a couple times. He is still waking up through the night but it has only been 4 days and I am keeping my fingers crossed that if I contintue this for a little while longer he will learn to put himself back to sleep without needing me in there on the floor. This never worked before when I've tried it.. So idk what made me try it again or why its starting to work but I am very happy! I just lay on the floor, don't pick him up when he wines for less then a min and pat the matress through the cracks of the crib, eventually he lays down and just lays there till he drifts off to sleep. This is SO much better then the "cry it out" even if I have to lay on cold wood floors for a little while through the night :) Atleast he is in his own bed and drifting off to sleep mostly on his own! Oh and it's working at nap time too! Idk if it's his age or just an early christmas gift from someone up above but I am definitly getting my hopes up!

Rebecca - posted on 12/19/2008

My husband and I used the cry method...um, but we started at 3 months...he is 20 months now and is really good about falling asleep on his own. I breast feed as well, and it broke my heart, but luckily only lasted about a week and the crying spells got shorter and shorter. It is the only way I know how to do it...as this is my first child. Good luck to you and many blessings. :)

Katie - posted on 12/19/2008

marci i put ryan down with a bottle. unfortunately because i have polycystic ovarian disease i was unfortunate with milk supply so i had to put ryan on a bottle un the first week because he had lst more than 10% of his birth weight. our day starts of with waking up about 8am (give or take) but i keept to the 4 hour feeding routine when he was little but i use the 4 hour period as awake time. so then by about say 12 or just after lunch i give hima bottle and put him straight in his cot and he goes to sleep without a fuss. he will sleep for about 2 to 3 hours, so about 2.30pm or 3pm he wakes up i give him something light to eat, he plays for a bit i bath him about 5pm then dinner (or vise versa) and in this heat i take him for a walk around the block, by about 6- 7.30pm i give him a bottle and he either winges or he goes to sleep. i find if i put him down to early he wontsleep, if its just before hes tired he will sleep but for a few hours. or if he goes to bed after he is tired he gets a second wind and theres no hope in getting him asleep until about 11-12 at night. so sometimes its just fun.

Sheri - posted on 12/19/2008

Oh, I forget to mention that I used the cry to sleep method for all 3 of my children and have never, ever had a hard time gettting them to sleep since. They sometimes even ask to go to bed! (they are 2, 9, and 12) I really think the key is having a routine and regular bedtime!

Sheri - posted on 12/19/2008

I nursed my daughter to sleep for the first year too and had similiar problems. Honestly, I know you don't like the idea, but I did the let her cry method. Of course there are different ways to do this. Like you, I just couldn't let her cry it all out. What I did was start a different routine at night. Start with a bath, brushing teeth, reading a book, then kiss her goodnight. Walk out, wait 3-5 minutes, go back in and DO NOT pick her up, yet. Pat her back, let her know you are there, then leave again. Do this a couple of times, then if really isn't working, pick her up and rock her. By then she will be so exhausted that she should fall right to sleep. BUT, do this EVERY night. Eventually, hopefully sooner than later, she will get used to the new routine and be able to fall asleep on her own. As much as you are tempted, do not put her in bed with you. I know people that still have 5 and 6 year olds in their bed because of this. It really isn't ideal if you want any relationship with your husband!

Ashley - posted on 12/19/2008

I dont know what to tell u other than i had to do this before and i always used the car method.

April - posted on 12/19/2008

Marci,



My daughter is 8 months old. I give her a bath on bath nights otherwise just put her in her PJs after she eats. She then hangs out and plays with her brother and when she starts getting sleepy then I nurse her and put her in the swing. Sometimes she is asleep when I put her in the swing, but most of the time she is just starting to nod off.

Uyen/Winn - posted on 12/18/2008

Marci- Just read your post from an hour ago, so here are specifics. Do the BBB routine.
For babies who still need a bottle/breast, go: Bath, Bottle/Breast, then Bed.
For those older, go: Bath, Books, Bed
The last part of putting them to bed is rather simple and short. You only need to discipline yourself.
After the Bottle/Breast, burp her, kisses, I love you, goodnight, place her in her crib, turn off the light and walk out and shut the door.
After the Books, kisses, I love you, goodnight, tuck her in her bed, turn off the light and walk out and shut the door.
This is all you need to do. The shorter and sweeter, the better. Because your presence is disruptive to her. (Just like when you will need to drop her off at babysitting at the YMCA, at daycare, at school, etc... the longer you linger, the worse she cries.)
I know you don't want her to "cry it out". Get rid of that negative term. But this is how you put a baby to bed. Just put her to bed and walk out. Nothing extended or prolonged.

Marci - posted on 12/18/2008

As a side note. I am so happy I nursed her. My regret was that I nursed her to sleep. I think I should have nursed her and then when she was drowsy, put her in her crib, so she learned to go to sleep without nursing, being rocked, being driven.....

Marci - posted on 12/18/2008

Ashley, I use the beatles lullaby music. I tried that in the house tonight. It didn't work. My husband took her for a ride and was going to drive just till she was drowsy and then we would put her in her crib drowsy, but that didn't work. Within 5 minutes she was sound asleep in the car, so tomorrow for nap time I will try driving just till she is drowsy and then have the room dark and music on and see what happens. I also read the information posted on Dr. Sears and it was very helpful. I don't think I will do the cry it out method. I don't want to break the trust that she has with me. I have weighed the pros and cons of continuing what I am doing versus crying it out and I have determined that trying to scale back on how long I drive her till she is sleepy is a better method. I am so happy that we have this circle of moms site. Thank you to everyone. I will post an update just so you all know how things turned out for me. Warm hugs.

Uyen/Winn - posted on 12/18/2008

Oh Marci, I wish you luck. Yeah you for opening yourself up for help with this subject despite judgments that you will inevitably get. I'm a mom of 3 kids: acid reflux, nursed all 3, nursed one for well over a year, colic, extreme teething (had 16 teeth by the time he turned 1!) so no fear, girl.
Hearing your child cry is hard for any parent. That's what makes you human! Maybe this will help: when your daughter cries, view it that it is her choice to cry. She's fed, she's dry, she's tired, she could choose to go to sleep, but she'd rather have your company and will cry to get it. If she chooses to cry instead of going to sleep, you can teach her how to self-sooth, which is a very important skill to have. It will teach her self-security and the ability to calm herself down. You are very loving to her, but your regret should not be in nursing her (which was a completely good thing) but should be on all the machinations of getting her to go to sleep, a skill you have to train. Check out a great book for detailed steps by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. It worked for all my 3 and here's how they sleep:
6 year old: 8pm - 7am
4 year old: 7pm - 7:30am
2 year old: 6:45pm - 7:45am and 1-3pm nap.
And on some days like today, I was done with all 3 by 7:30pm and they'll all sleep until 7:30 tomorrow and I'll have to wake up the 2 yr old at 7:50 to go to school.
It's not too late to establish a routine and teach her these important skills. Good luck.

Laurella - posted on 12/18/2008

For my little girl our routine is dinner, play, play, play until she is showing signs of being tired normally around 8- 8:30, ask if she is ready to go to bed or just say it's bed time, bath if needed, diaper & pj's, bottle of milk (always in "her night night milk chair" rocking chair on my lap ), story (normally she is walking/ crawling around looking at pictures in a different book), teeth, pacifier, night nights (to dad and song), down (with stuffy, blanket, and music), lights out and final night night and I love you's.
But then again we have been working on this sense she was 3-4m, now she is 13m. It takes about 1/2 hour with out the bath.
She used to play, heck she still does at nap time sometimes and she has only ever taken one nap, unless she is not feeling well. I have no issues with her playing at nap, eventually she falls a sleep or just the quiet time is all she needed. At nap it is always around the same time during the day or when she gets cranky. Pacifier, stuffy, blanket, I love you's and see you in a little.
We always have issues when she gets over tired, she is really hard to get to sleep those nights. We have to go in and comfort her several times before she finally drifts off.
Hope that helps.

Ashley - posted on 12/18/2008

I was just wondering if you played a certain song everytime you drive her in the car. If you play the same thing every time, I would suggest maybe trying to play it in her room at nap/night time. Just a thought as I was reading your latest update. I guess its worth a shot. Sorry that I have no other ideas. I swaddle my 5 month old and just rock him to sleep as he sings/humms himself to sleep. He's not a paci baby (darnit) like my 4 year old was. If he had his paci, he was good to go. Got lucky on that one, and lucky with my 5 month old (thus far, and I pray it continues) Good luck. Let me know what you think about the music thing.....I'm curious to see if you try it and if it works.

Marci - posted on 12/18/2008

April, that is a good idea. I had a swing for her as an infant, but I didn't even think about one for her now. How old is your daughter? Is she content in the swing? Do you do anything special, music, milk, dim lights?

April - posted on 12/18/2008

I so feel your pain. My son was horrible w/ sleeping and my daugther is too. I have tried everything (baths, snuggling, etc.) I put her to sleep in the swing every night. The swing that we have is gettting too small so I bought a bigger one at a consignment store today. I know that many people will say to just let them cry it out and they will eventually "get it", but it has not worked for me. The swing has been my saviour with my daughter and the one I bought will hold up to 35 pounds so if she needs to swing to sleep until she is 2 then I am equipped.

Marci - posted on 12/18/2008

Hi everyone. Thanks for the help. Most people tell me to let my daughter cry it out. I read the book, "the no cry sleep solution" Didn't help. Here is my problem. She sleeps 12 hours and doesn't wake up. That is not the problem. I get plenty of sleep too. The problem is, I don't know how to put her down for a nap or to bed for the night without having to drive her in the car for 15 minutes. Perhaps 15 minutes isn't that big of a deal seeing how other mom's are struggling with a baby getting up every few hours. I really just want to hear step by step what they do to put their babies in the crib for the night. Here is what I do. dinner, play a little, bath, play, but quietly, no tv no loud noises, dim light. We read a few books. I give her some milk (she has never used a lovey or a pacifier or a bottle to sleep) and then I try rocking her. NOPE, no way. So then I put her in her crib, she either plays, jumps or cries. I get frustrated, end up putting her in the car and soft music. She then falls asleep, I take her out of the car and put her in her crib which she then sleeps till the morning. Thanks for all the advice.

Shannon - posted on 12/18/2008

My husband and I spoiled my daughter with the sleep thing, I just didn't know better. She is 6 now so I didn't have things like this board to help. BUT this is what I have learned so far with my kids. My daughter was the "easy one", yes she is still stuborn. It is just who she is when we let her cry it out, she would cry, sometimes until she would sound like she was going to get sick(she hated her car seat and would do the same thing,No car seat was not a choice so I had her wear a bib) Like I said earlier We bought a differant house for her. But sticking to the routine has worked,once she got the hang of it she would ask for naps. She still goes to bed at 7 and wakes at 7. We co-slept with both of our kids.So the seperation from mommy thing was a big part. My son is a whole differant story he had some minor health issues,but he literally only slept in 20min intervals and screamed the other 40 mins 9 months straight.I made excuses for him so I fully understand just wanting to do whatever works easiest. But my point is I finally got to a point that I had to take care of me.regardless of issues because I was becoming a not so great mom with no sleep and two babies under two. So even though I let Hannah cry it out ( I have to admit I let her sleep with her bottle. her teeth are fine:-) Everyone of us just wants to do the best thing for our children. Some times that means taking care of mom. When my son was about 9 months thats when I really did the cry it out. I HAD TO. So that week I took the bottle from Hannah the sheets were wet every morning because she didn't even drink the bottle any more. She just wanted it and I couldn't help Ashton any more he had to learn to help himself. So yes a week from hell came about. I cried they cried it was a mess.I even think my husband was worse. I knew they were safe in their cribs so I would go outside so I didn't have to hear it. No mother likes hearing that. I think as mothers have learned to associate cring with pain and hurt,but like my ped said they don't have words for how they feel. All they know how to do is cry. So now that my kids are 5 and 6 they both go to bed at 7 sometimes they wake at night about 2-3 times a week I hug them and put them back in bed I think they sleep walk. So do what works for you best. Another tip when you need to get rid of the pacci, got to build a bear and put it inside. both my kids still have their nunny bunny. Hang in there and take care of you also,just like a plane ride put your mask on first so you can help your child. I don't know if this is helpful at all or if I just needed to let you know I know what you are going through. But as reasurance both of my kids are happy, smart, normal kids that still love and belive in me--- we will talk when thay are teens :-)

Laurella - posted on 12/18/2008

Have you thought about baby chiropractics, I just remembered it. I have never needed it but I have heard that sometimes babies have trouble going to sleep (like all of us) if their bodies aren't aligned right. I have read where babies get out of alignment during birth and they are troubled sleepers and as soon as they get realigned they sleep through the night and go to sleep with out a fuss.
Just another suggestion, I really hope something helps and you can get some sleep soon.
---
Peace, Love, & Harmony
Laurella

Lindsey - posted on 12/18/2008

Don't feel bad for nursing her to sleep the first year! You made her comfortable, warm and happy every single time you put her down to sleep...that's a really wonderful thing. :)



What works for my stubborn boy (we were recently in the same boat) is not picking him up/not rocking, etc. I lay him down in his bed (we used to co-sleep, but stopped because he was so squirmy!), on his belly, and pat his bottom, make shushing sounds, etc. Maybe stroke his head or rub his back. Now Ijust have to stand there (and put my hand on his bottom if he starts squirming). It'll take time, just like all changes do, but she'll figure it out. If you're consistent you'll pretty much bore her to sleep, lol.

Laurella - posted on 12/18/2008

Cheryl I think a lot of us view "Cry it out" as Monica describes in her post. Frankly you just let them cry with out going back for anything. I can understand why so many parents have issues with this.
The "controlled crying" as you described, you are reassuring your little one your there, you care, and so on. You can pick them up and comfort them but sending a clear message that it is sleep time.

Laurella - posted on 12/18/2008

Coral, it sounds to me your little one is having separation anxiety. It isn't sleep that he is having issues with, it is being a way from mom.
I have a little song I sing to my little girl, I made it up. It goes: Good Night, Sleep tight, I'll see you in the morning. Good Night, Sleep tight, I love you. I also use the same tune for our good by song, it goes: Good bye, Farewell, I'll see you very soon. Good bye, Farewell, I love you. I really think these two songs have helped my little one.
When ever I am gone for a short time I sing it to her before I leave. I also make a point to say Good morning as soon as she gets up for the day. If she wakes in the night I sing the song again to let her know it is still sleep time. Through this she has learned that I will be back.
I know sometimes it is just good to know what the real problem is and ones it gets addressed everything else falls into place.
I hope that helps. Best of luck to you. It might be good the have the grandparents take the little one for a day or night so you can get some sleep and then address the problem refreshed.

Ann - posted on 12/18/2008

I worked a child car center where we had four children your daughters age to one adult. All of the children had cots to sleep on...some would go to their cot themself, some you need to go put on the cot. We had lullabye's playing and we either rubbed there tummy, massage their head's or rub, light pat on the back. They knew right after lunch it was naptime b/c all of the cots would be out waiting everyday. so I would say you just have to come up with a new routine with her. She liked the first one, she will like the second once you teach it to her, and then be consistent with it...so she knows what to expect everyday.
Good Luck.

Cheryl - posted on 12/18/2008

could somebody please explain the cry it out techique to me. i have always assumed it is the same technique we in Aust call "controlled crying", but by reading posts on this page i think it may be different. Controlled crying -put baby to bed after set routine, say goodnight and leave for 7 mins...return, say goodnight and leave for another 7 mins. return again and leave for 14 mins ect... This is the technique that worked wonders for me !!

Jena - posted on 12/18/2008

When weaning my daughter off, it was near impossible to get her to sleep. So we started a new routine. We'd put her in her sleep sak, get her a sippy cup of milk, a cookie and her stuffed bunny blanket. In the beginning I would nurse her for as long as she needed, then she would have the cookie and some milk. I started to reduce the time on the breast until it was nothing and all she got was the sippy cup of milk and a cookie. Since the rest of the routine was the same, she didn't miss the nursing part and fell asleep as usual. I hope that helps!

Liz - posted on 12/18/2008

Johnson's bed time bath works wonders too

Liz - posted on 12/18/2008

Have you tried to give her a bottle just before she goes to bed? My son used to not like to sleep at night, and once we started to give them bottles before they went to bed they started to sleep a lot better. During the day they still don't nap as well, but they are only six months old. He often falls asleep with a bottle in his mouth before nap time during the day.

Monica - posted on 12/18/2008

Kids are smartet than we give them credit for, let her cry, its horrible but onece she realizes your not comming to get her she will stop, i had to let my middle son cry, and he is VERY stubborn, i would just lay him down go to the other end of the house, and turn the radio up! and i didnt go back to check on him! it sucks but it works! we all have a tendency to spoil or do what is easier and i payed the price! he sleeps fine now, but it did take a couple of weeks!

Andrea - posted on 12/17/2008

I have recently gone through this, and am currently going through it. My son is 9 1/2 months old. What has worked for me is having a consistent bedtime routine. He used to fall asleep while nursing as well, but last month I changed the schedule we had - solid food, bath, nurse to sleep - to our new routine: solid food, nurse, bath, turn on his sound machine, books, turn light off and hold him in my arms and rub his back for a few minutes, kiss him, then lay him in his crib. Sometimes he fusses for a few minutes or jabbers quietly, or teeths with his blanket. If he lays down without a problem I leave the room. If he seems more awake, I stay in the room and sit quietly in the dark until he stands and cries or falls asleep. Then I pick him up, kiss him and lay him back down. When we first started the new routine, I stayed in the room with him. First night he cried for an hour (I picked him up quite a bit to reassure him and continuusly layed him back down so he would know its sleepytime.), second night took 20 minutes, picking him up once or twice and the third night was 10 minutes...no picking up. For the most part he goes to sleep pretty well. He still wakes up once or twice at night and I bf then.

Good luck!

Coral - posted on 12/17/2008

I appreciate your suggestions. We do have a wind down time together, just lay and watch tv for a bit after bath (i forgot to put that in) . He doesn't seem to have any pains b/c as soon as I hold him he is ok again. Almost instantly

. He loves to play in his crib during the day or even at night as long as I'm in the room. Though after a few min he is ready to get out.

As soon as he wakes up from a nap or night time wake up he stands up abd is like hysterical right away. I've stopped the cry it out b/c it just didn't seem to work for us. Now I just rock him. I might try putting the bottle of water hin the crib with him. But even still tonight has been in his bed since 8pm and woke up 3 times already its 12 here now.

Renee - posted on 12/17/2008

I have all the sympathy in the world for you, my little one is 12 months on the 23 Dec and the only way to get him to sleep is if i rock him or nurse him. I cant just let him cry he gets himself so worked up its rediculous to the extent he makes himself sick.

Try giving him a bottle to put him to sleep or just nursing him

Katie - posted on 12/17/2008

he might have some wind pain. have you tired gripe water?

Katie - posted on 12/17/2008

coral if i were you i would lay off the putiing him in his cot and letting him scream. its hard i know and it stays hard to find a good routine for a while. maybe during the day you could play with him in his cot so that he dosent feel like its a bad place to be. and just at night time when its time for him to go tosleep turn off all the lights and whatch some tv with him on the lounge. i sometimes do that with ryan but i also see it sometimes keeps him awake longer and he sometimes goes to sleep quicker with no tv

Coral - posted on 12/17/2008

Forgot to mention the list of things we've tried....

I let him play in the bed and sit there near him but he just stands there screaming and crying reaching for me the whole time. Tried with and without Music , Moms t-shirt in the bed, passi, night time routine dinner,bath, lights out,bottle now used to nurse,then bed... now rocking to sleep then bed.

Also no matter how hysterical the crying was as soon as I pick him up it stops and he is dead weight in my arms.

Coral - posted on 12/17/2008

My son is will be 1 yr in Jan and he still doesn't put himself to sleep nor sleep through the night. I have tried everything. He has a "passi" that he throws out of the crib in his crying tantrum repetedly. I even tried putting several in there with him. I have a standard routine I do every single night and nap, nearly the same times too. I tried the cry it out when he was about 8 months old.I nursed him to sleep up until that point. He did eventually fall asleep on his own , standing up and collapsing in the crib after 2 hours of cry the first night(i went in the check on him after the first 10 min then increased it by 5 min each time,15 then 20 min gaps.) We have a camera in his room so I was able to watch him the whole time to be sure he was "ok". However as the week went on it did take less and less time for him to fall asleep on his own. After a little over a week it only took about 5 min of hysterical crying. He still would wake up 3 hours later no matter how long it took him to go down. And we would have to start all over again. This was EXTREMELY tireing for me. Then he got sick. It threw a hiccup in the whole thing and now the only way he will go down is the same routine I still have kept only I rock him until he falls asleep in my arms then lay him in his crib. He still wakes up about 3 to 4 hours later for more food and then he wakes up every 1-2 hours the rest of the night. I know its a terrible thing but i can't fight it anymore. After a year of not sleeping through the night or i'd atleast take waking up once during the night, not the 3 or more times through the night we've been doing. He now comes into our bed after he wakes up the first time and still wakes up but atleast I dont have to get out of bed. I'm exhausted. I just need one nights sleep! The 2 weeks I did the cry it out was very very hard. I know it would be good for him to learn to go to sleep on his own but i just can't go through it again. Even after the 2 weeks it wasn't like he went right down. I had to listen to him hysterically screaming and crying for atleast 5 min. I have no answer for the original post. I'm just trying to get as much sleep as I can! Sorry this doesn't help.. but atleast you know you arent alone!

Katie - posted on 12/17/2008

sounds like she is getting ready to have 1 nap a dayinstead of two. i have read somewhere when the stay awake longer during the day and stat changing their sleeping ptterns again that it can be a difficult prossess. my 18month old son is good with it now and i try to put him to bed early but that didnt work for me lastnight. my bubby was so tired and he kept o refusing to sleep with me and hubby. inthe end i just put him in his cot. he wasnt really crying it was more of a winge and within 10 minutes he stopped making noise and was fast asleep. it didnt help that he had his 18month needle aswell. i hope it goes well for you and you can find a way that is good for all of you.

Kelly - posted on 12/17/2008

I have had three very different sleepers, and believe it or not you are setting the sleep pattern for years to come. It is best to get this figured out now before she gets into a big bed and can crawl out and into your bed or other places in the house. It is important to follow the same routine every single sleep time. Right now her sleep cues are going for a ride in the car. Start transitioning by playing the same soft music each day when you want her to go to sleep. Then find some relaxing activities to do in her room. After the quiet time, tell her night night, lay her down, and hand her her comfort item (blanket, pacifier, ect..). Pat her back for a while and then leave the room. If she cries you can go back in, lay her down and hand her the comfort item. I even kiss and hug my kids and tell them I love them before I lay them down again. Consistency and routine are the key to good sleep habits.

Tania - posted on 12/17/2008

you could try putting her in the playpen by the side of ur bed at night. My daughter likes it when we tickle her belly or feet

Laurella - posted on 12/17/2008

Sorry, I have to laugh "a baby doesn't "work" their parents," LOL! My little girl distinctly tries to play my husband and I, against one another. If she does not get her way with me or I tell her she can't do something she goes strait to dad to see if he will let her. She is only 13 months.
Yes, my little one also tried the crying tantrums before nap and bed, it didn't matter if she had a bath, milk, story, music and cuddles. The routine is what makes it work, she still fusses from time to time but it is mainly because her teeth are hurting her.
There is a difference between letting a baby "cry it out" and letting them fuss. Like Jessica said 10 minutes, and after you start you will start to hear the difference in your little ones cry. If something is wrong like teeth or upset tummy, your little ones cry will me harsh, frantic, almost a spastic cry. If you hear that cry don't hesitate to go see what is wrong, but always put her back in her bed. Having one set place for sleep is as important as everything else.
I thought I would not allow her to get attached to the pacifier but between her teething one and the standered one, they help her go to sleep. It is only when she is a sleep that she is allowed to have one. I think maybe in 3-6 months she might be used to going to sleep on her own, that we can start her sleeping with out one.
I really do wish you the best of luck. It is not easy but when you get the first night that they go down with out long cries it is really a huge relief. Big Hugs, hang in there you will get it.

Katie - posted on 12/17/2008

It sounds like she is missing that closeness with you, and remember she's still a baby. I co-sleep with my babies so no judgments here. I would like to suggest laying down with her for a little while until she gets drowsy or even goes to sleep, just you and her, with the light off, etc. and than put her in her bed. Or, try putting her in her crib, and you sitting on the floor next to it, stroking her hair, her hand, etc. until she falls alseep. She'll get the hang of it.



Good luck

Darlene - posted on 12/17/2008

happy baby healthy sleep habits i read it before i had my second baby and it worked like a charm. since day one he went down at 7p he would just get up to eat then he would go right back down at 6 months he was sleeping 7p-7a and he is 9 months today and still is.....Now lets back up to my first child who is 3 now. i did everything you did breast fed him for 16 months b/c he has a severe milk allergy. rocked him sang to him drove him sat with him took him into my bed... let me tell you it is going to be a life long problem and nothing will work beside letting them cry it out... I was so against it i could never let my baby cry he napped in my arms for 16 months slept in my bed for two yrs. He is a horrible sleeper to this day b/c of it.... He is the one who has me up in middle of the night not the baby... They need to learn to self soothe. He would cry and i would go in my room and cry but i'm telling ya it is the only way...especially where he is 1 now. if you only knew how against it i was but now i belive there is no other way.they do what they are taught.. What helped me with my second one is the video camera so you can watch them and know they are ok... good luck

Jessica - posted on 12/17/2008

I did the same thing. I nursed my daughter until she was a little over 1 and she was used to going to bed when she finished nursing. She never slept well the first year and I read a lot of books to try to help me. I took ideas from various books I thought I could use for our situation. She has a blanket and a doll that she only uses for bedtime. (She's 18 months now.) She loves them both and knows what they are for. I wasn't willing to let her "cry it out" either and I found a book that helped me with that. It said to let them cry for 10 minutes and then go in. Knowing I had a set time helped me tremendously. 10 min. seems to be the magic number. We started doing this and now I can lay her down for naps and night and she sleeps fine and will go to sleep on her own. I never thought the day would come! I hope she starts sleeping for you because I know how tired you are!

Diana - posted on 12/17/2008

I'm using "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" book right now. I have a post with questions in the Breastfeeding moms circle.

Jennifer - posted on 12/17/2008

I had a hard time getting my son to go to sleep with out being held and rocked so what I did was lay down on the couch with him once I knew he was tired ..slowly I rolled off closer to when I put him down and now he falls asleep on his own ! Good luck

Sarah - posted on 12/17/2008

My 3rd little one (20 mo.) is the best sleeper of the 3. I think what has changed since we had the first 2, is being busy enough I didn't really force naptime on them. She keeps up with the older 2, and when she is tired, she goes to sleep. Or sometimes I can see she's sleepy and we change diaper, sit and cuddle a bit, and I lay her down. With the older 2 as well. They sleep because they are tired. This is usually around 1 or 2 pm. And like some others have commented, having them do stuff through the morning helps a lot. If you can't go outside, something that encourages them to think (books, puzzles) helps, too. Too much napping can make nighttime sleeping harder, I learned.

Brooke - posted on 12/17/2008

Youhave to do what will work for you, or it won't work! Lots of these methods are effective, but they may not be the best choice for you and your baby.

Here is another book suggestion that helped me alot (I've also heard good things about the No Cry Sleep Solution): Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.

AskDrSears.com is good too, depending on your parenting style.

Matthew - posted on 12/17/2008

The hardest thing I ever did (and this was nap and nighttime) was to walk around with my daughter, swaying to get her ready. Then I set her in her crib holding hands with her through the slats. She would lay down and I would let go. If she startled I would quietly reassure her and ever so slightly move away, scooching backward on my knees. Once in a while she would look up to see if I was there, which I was. Sometimes it took up to thirty minutes for her to fall asleep. After a week, it was almost instantaneous when she laid down. As with everything, it wasn't easy and required no deviation. But it was worth it. God bless.

Anna - posted on 12/17/2008

try giving her your pillow to sleep , and turn on a radio in her room -

Susan - posted on 12/17/2008

I think every child is different, and so you do have to follow your gut on what's right for your child (vs. the "cry it out" pressure we have in American culture). Routine does help, and someone suggested the book The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley, which I think would give you some good ideas for that. We have our bed time routine on a poster board on the wall with pictures and he loves to read it and follow it. Yet, our 3 year old sleeps in a bed next to ours, still nurses to sleep, and still wakes up in the night (although 50 percent of preschoolers do wake up during the night, according to Pantley). It's not an easy lifestyle, but it works for my conscience about what's good for my son. Since she is used to sucking to sleep, you might try a bottle of water (to avoid teeth issues) or a pacifier? I don't have a problem with these "props" though you will get cries of dismay from some.