how do i stop my boys from fighting they are getting violent with each other

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Sue - posted on 03/10/2009

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thank you so much for your advise finding it really hard  my boys wont go to any activity no matter how much encourage them they seem stuck to me

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Have you tried changing their activity? If they are wrestling and you know where it seems to be leading try giving them something else to do. I have three boys one too young to play but my older two start off just playing and then they start bugging each other or just get plain old annoying then the chaos happens. My older two are 5 and soon to be 7 years old. They do not watch certain shows and are not allowed to play certain video games, heck I dont even let them play with toys that are only used in a violent sense (guns)



I simply point out that it is not safe and tell them to either find something to do or I'll choose something else for them. If someone gets hurt I send the offender to time out, go over why we dont do it and then give them something else to do.



Time of day also helps to figure out what is going on if they are hungry, tired or bored then it is easier to deal with.

Paulette - posted on 03/10/2009

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Hi Sue, Oh how I totally understand you query. I have 6 brothers and it is a boy thing to get into these fights. Have you listen to what they are fighting about...like I am the oldest thing and your not....is it the oldest have noticed girls and the younger one taughts him (ewwe your interested in her?!)...are they very competitive boys (friends, girls or sports)? What have you told them as far as the standards you go by? Have you told them violence is not acceptable and how they should act instead plus what the consequences will be if they are violent with each other? I would like to give you some tips but I do not want to go in the opposite direction from what is going on, I would want to stay on target. For now I can say that I would sit them down and tell them that if they are going to act like babies then you'll treat them like it. That their being violent with each other will stop now. You understand that they will get anger with each other but they will not physically touch each other in any way. I would tell them what the consequence(s) would be for doing so. I hope that is will help. Take care.

Dion - posted on 03/10/2009

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I have almost 4-year-old twin boys. WWF began at my house before the age of 1. At first I just let them go at it, cuz I figured that when they are 6'5" and 325 lbs that I don't want to be in the middle of it, however, as of late, they are starting to hurt each other sometimes. What I do is send the perpetrator to his bed (they share a room) until he can come out and apologize to his brother. His brother is then required to say he forgives him. They then have to hug and say brothers for life. This sounds corny, but I also have girls, age 6 and 1 and they all have to do this when the fight and since I have started it, there is a lot less physical fighting and more working things out. We will see what happens in the long run. There is always hanging them in the garage by their toes like my dad used to threaten!!! :)

Kristina - posted on 03/10/2009

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I have two boys aged 2 and 4, and I wish I had an answer for that one.  Sometimes it's like I am telling them to knock it off every five minutes.  They are getting to the point where they are putting eachother in headlocks and stuff.  I do not know where they get it from, they do not watch wrestling or that kind of thing.  Right now I just separate them into their seperate bedrooms for awhile when they cannot get along.  That is the only solution I have unfortunately.  I look forward to seeing what other moms have to say on this subject.

Jodie - posted on 03/10/2009

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when I was little I would hate it when my grandma would put my brother and I in time out. She would get 2 chairs set them close enough that we could touch and then make us stare at each other. Then before we could get up she would make us kiss and hug. I have used it on my children. They start acting up and I threaten them with that and they start acting better.

Jessica - posted on 03/10/2009

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My 3 yr old son started getting a little "rough" with a 1 yr old girl I watch. I noticed that he was trying to play with her like how Daddy plays with him........I would check out what they're watching on TV, video games, etc. If they're constantly seeing/doing it they're not going to stop easily.

Dawn - posted on 03/10/2009

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Quoting Sue:

how do i stop my boys from fighting they are getting violent with each other




if u find out can u let me know coz mine do it ll the time , i try telling them that i will take there toys away if they do . or sit them on the stairs but it works for 5 min then they do it again. i swear one of them is gonna seriously hurt them selves one day

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