How Do I Tell My Unsupportive Family That I'm Pregnant?

Chelsea - posted on 07/30/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

10

0

1

I'm 20 years old, and recently moved in with my boyfriend's family an hour and a half away from where my family lives. I just found out last week that I'm around 6 weeks pregnant, and I'm really worried about what they will say.

I haven't seen them in more than a month, and I haven't talked to my mom in almost two weeks. The only member of my family I talk to is my father, and that's only really through text message.

Last year I got pregnant with the same boy that I'm with now, and they pretty much disowned me, and tried to force me to get an abortion. The only reason I did was because I was on several kinds of antibiotics and painkillers for a bad Urinary Tract Infection, and I was worried for the baby's health. However, now I've been taking the proper prenatal vitamins and getting extra folic acid, and eating as well as I can, as I'm experiencing some pretty nasty morning (all day) sickness.

My boyfriend and I are extremely excited, and his family is being very supportive. I want to know what you all think. Should I tell my family, or will that only cause additional stress?

Thank you! :)
-6 weeks along and nauseous, but happy!-

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Hannah - posted on 07/30/2012

11

0

1

First i want to say Congratulations! I have two experiences with this to share.
My sister told her friends that she was pregnant a month or more before she told her family. I found out at work I worked with her best friend's sister in law. I was so mad. She didn't tell us because she knew we would be upset. I was. I was more angry that I had told my co-worker "neh, my sister would tell me if she were pregnant." I felt stupid.
I have friend who told me she was 7 months along before she told her family. They lived an hour away. It was her 7th child and they had given her grief over every one after number 2. She didn't want to hear it.
Pregnancies are emotional and crazy. If you feel comfortable with waiting to tell your family until later, say after your abortion window. Then I think that will be a good idea. Don't tell any family friends first though. Keep it small until you are emotionally ready.
Good luck, and I hope your family comes around and realizes what they will be missing out on.

Kim - posted on 07/30/2012

127

0

44

Thank you :) and yeah that's pretty terrible, you have a right to grieve and as a parent she should understand that, so sorry to hear that. You'd be surprised tho, some of the most unsupportive people will eventually make a change... and some will not. However it's your life, your baby, your relationship... do what makes you happy. Babys are so much fun... and very, very exhausting (good luck those first sleepless weeks.... seriously. lol) Do what's right and enjoy your baby! =]

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

6 Comments

View replies by

Dove - posted on 07/31/2012

5,473

0

1331

Don't tell them until YOU are ready to tell them. It's not worth the stress right now.

Due to some issues we had I didn't tell my mom I was pregnant until my daughter was 3 months old.....

Heather - posted on 07/31/2012

112

22

10

I'm 23 years old. When I was 18 I had an abortion, it was for the best. But I still have nightmares about it. The nightmares got worse when at 20 I became pregnant again. I was worried about what my family would say, how my friends would react. I had people who asked me if I was going to get another abortion, and that hurt me. But after a bit everyone came around and accepted that I was going to have my baby. Now my son is 2 1/2 years old. Everyone loves him and he is my world.

Tell your family, they will come around. Good Luck! message me if you wanna talk.

Chelsea - posted on 07/30/2012

10

0

1

Thanks for the reply! I definitely do want them around, but they are next to impossible to deal with sometimes. I know all families are, though.

What really hurts me is a while back my mom said that she doesn't understand why I felt guilty about the abortion. I told her that it haunts me everyday. And then I said I would never get another one ever again and she was so mad. She freaked out at me and said, "you'll get another one if you have to." That infuriated me, and I'll never forgive her for that.

Thank you for the support! Congratulations on your second child!

Kim - posted on 07/30/2012

127

0

44

Of course you should let them know, but only when you feel as if you're ready. You're a grown adult and capable of making your own decisions. I turn 22 this upcoming weekend and I am pregnant with my second child, when I got pregnant when I was 20 with my son of course my mom was not happy, but eventually they will warm up to it... hopefully, because well... you made the decision and the baby will be coming wether they like it or not lol. That's great that your boyfriend's family is supportive! That def. helps a lot. So let them know when you are ready, that is... if you want to. I'm sure it will take some time, but as the birth approaches I am sure they will be happy for their new grandbaby! =)

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms