How do u deside ??

Kathy - posted on 09/12/2010

My husband and I have discussed this for many years. When it was just my daughter, we decided that his sister would have her. Now that my sister is old enough, my children would go to her. She is young and has a great relationship with both of the kids. My daughter is actually getting old enough now that if she gets to be old enough, she will be responsible for her brother. Time totally changes who we have take care of the kids.

Nikki - posted on 09/12/2010

We knew from even before we had my son that my husbands sister would be the one ....... and even now our decision has stayed true she is absolutely amazing with my son, he adores her as she does him. She is the only person I could truely trust to have his best interests. Dont get me wrong my mom is great with him as is his mom, but to be honest id ather have someone younger by the time my son is 10 my parents and his parents will be well into their 60's.

Bo Lynn - posted on 09/12/2010

Yes we have. My husband and I decided between us that his sister was the best choice and when I brought it up to her, she said she would be there for us. If you have someone you know is willing and able to step up, just mention it to them casually. You do really need a plan in this random & chaotic world.
I didn't choose my mother because she complains a lot when my kids are there for more than a day. My siblings are too young/disabled to do much and my sister in law seemed like a great choice.

Firebird - posted on 02/03/2010

My girl's dad and I chose my sister. I would never choose my parents because they did a pretty poor job with me and my brother. When it came down to deciding this, I thought of one thing only. Who would be most likely to raise my daughter the same way I would? (Or at least in a similar manner) My sister and I share many similar views and I trust that she would raise my daughter according to my wishes. I'll also try to put it in my will that my daughter is not to spend time alone with her dad's family while she is still legally deemed a "child". They are horrible influences, I actually moved out of the province to get my daughter away from them.

Sally - posted on 02/03/2010

We haven't talked about it - will bring it up with my partner tonight. The obvious choice would be my parents because they look after our son 3 days per week while I'm at work, so their house is pretty much his second home anyway. He has his own bedroom there etc. I would HATE for my partner's mum to try to claim any right to my son, but I don't think she would anyway because she doesn't have much to do with him now as it it.



An important topic to think about.

Heather - posted on 02/03/2010

if something was to happen to us our children would go to my sister

Rashmi - posted on 02/03/2010

Have asked one of my best frnds...and she said yes

Ellen - posted on 02/03/2010

My hubby and I decided that my parents would take our girls, so we asked them and put it in our will. Make sure you ask whomever you want if they are ok with it!

Cassie - posted on 02/03/2010

We were told to have money in a trust for the person you leave to care for your kids ! I dont no what i will do it is so hard to decide . I dont want my kids to be oushed aside , If there are other kids in the home .I want them to be loved and while they are sad and missing us ,I want who ever takes care of them to be there for them to remember us tell funny stories . The ppl who care for my kids need to be stable and have room in there home to open ther heart to kids !

Cristina - posted on 02/03/2010

It's a hard thing to consider, if the grand parents were not able and if like in my case my siblings were not too mature to take such responsibility, it would be good to consider the closest people in your life, like a cousin or best friends, people that you know that for sure would love your child and give them as much as you would have had. It's a great topic to bring about, made me think about our family and who could keep our kids if we were no here.

Sheri - posted on 02/03/2010

My husband and I each have a sister. I think one of them should have the kids, having similar values to us and in a similar age range. The grandparents are older and don't have the stamina for this workout! Ha! Seriously, though, we really need to put something in writing, with the sisters' approval.

Danielle - posted on 02/03/2010

i haven't really thought about it. i know they wouldn't go to any of their uncles they are to irresponsible. i think if it came down to it i would make sure they went to a really close friend or family member i have no idea who yet but lets just hope the worst never happens or atleast until they are adults. wow this is deffinatly going to get me thinking now.

Cassie - posted on 02/03/2010

Amy , Legalzoom is a web site for a will . The kids are very blessed to have you in there lives

Kristie - posted on 02/03/2010

My hubby and I talked about this awhile ago after my mom asked if we would take my younger brother and sister if anything happened to her and my stepfather. We decided that my oldest SIL & her hubby would raise our children the closest to the way we would like them raised.

Jodi - posted on 02/03/2010

No, that's not a possibility. His dad is in his life - he sees him alternate weekends, but he is really not the best influence in the world when it comes to schooling, and while I know he loves his son, he is hopeless as a father. My son is 12, and do you know, his dad has NEVER been to his current school. Not once. As I said, I just have to make sure I'm still here for another 6 years!!! I'm not planning on going anywhere!

Iridescent - posted on 02/03/2010

We were discussing this last weekend actually. We have 2 kids together (our oldest), a set of twins are my husbands with another woman and we have full custody (the woman has 2 older children she lost all parental rights to for abusing and neglecting and nearly killing, then charges were filed when she started the same with the twins), and I have a girl with a different father (and he is totally uninvolved by choice).

With the complex care our kids need, and the fact that there are 5 of them, our concerns are many. Nobody else in our family has ever even babysat. Ever, even when we just had one child. So we are not comfortable with them having our children should we pass away. If we do nothing, they would end up in separate foster homes. We need to make a will, and speak with a lawyer to determine how to make sure they'll be able to stay together. We do have a distant family member we need to speak with which is a foster parent and would have the ability to care for them, despite the fact that 3 are the same age and 3 have continuing health problems on a daily basis.

Our hope is to keep them together in a family that will love them, despite their health problems and the sheer number of them.

Cassie - posted on 02/03/2010

Jodi , didi you husband adopt ur son ? If not you should consider that cause if something happens to you he will go to his dad !
We hate to think about this stuff . But we need to no our kids will be happy

Jodi - posted on 02/03/2010

My husband and I have talked at length about this, and we decided that my brother and his wife would be the best "parents" for our children. We have spoken to them about it too. Unfortunately, however, my son will probably end up with his dad, which is NOT the best solution, but it would be almost impossible to battle that one, unfortunately. So I just have to make sure I'm here until he is 18, LOL ;)

Erin - posted on 02/03/2010

I guess if it couldn't be his grandparents then the next best thing would be my siblings. It would have to be mine because my husband is an only child. I've never really thought about this topic, it is a good one.