How do u make ur child understand its not ok for men to hit women???

[deleted account] ( 11 moms have responded )

my son seen a women get hit and after that he started raising his fist to me i try to explain to him thats not good!!! Men are alot stronger than women u should never hit girls or even what to hurt them but its like he not listening to me and he just dont understand how could i explain its wrong to a 5 yr old???

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Jodi - posted on 09/16/2011

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This isn't about men hitting women, this is a lesson about no-one should hit ANYONE, EVER. Hitting is not acceptable, hurting others is not acceptable. Don't make it a men can't hit women issue. Women can't hit people either!

Michelle - posted on 09/16/2011

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Don't explain to him that he shouldn't hit woman explain to him that he shouldn't hit at all, that it isn't nice. I would just tell him that hitting is mean and if he wants to have lots of friends he can't be mean. The woman and man thing is not the issue at five the hitting itself is address that.

[deleted account]

Hitting is wrong period.

Sorry, there's no way a one time event of a 5 year old witnessing a man hitting a woman would undo the 'no hitting' lesson if it was already learned.

My 3 year old knows that hitting anyone is wrong. Granted, he IS 3, so doesn't always listen, but he sure as heck knows it's not acceptable behavior.

If talking to him didn't help he'd be spending some time w/ his nose against the wall.

Amanda - posted on 09/17/2011

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I dont understand how your 5 year old doesnt understand hitting is wrong period woman or not. Seems to me you have larger issues then just hitting. 5 year olds know right from wrong, they also understand their native language very well. Therefore when you say dont hit he shouldnt do so, if he keeps doing this its time to start groundings, and stick to it. If my 5 year old tried to hit me, he would spend the rest of his day in his bedroom, with no toys or electronics. He will learn real fast that hitting is not acceptiable.

Kate CP - posted on 09/16/2011

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When you hit people they don't want to be your friend. If he wants to keep his friends he needs to keep his hands to himself.

Also, stop putting him in situations where he'll see men hitting women.

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Sal - posted on 09/17/2011

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persohally i can't fathom how one time seeing it would make him start, i know that exposure to domestic violence can normalise it to a child but a one off event with strangers i am not so sure??? .....is there something else going on, was it some one he looked up to who hit the woman .....maybe you are looking to that event to explain his actions....and as how to make him understand why it isn't ok? i don,t know, just keep calm and stay true to your message, and working out what is the catalist for his behaviour, also by telling him it's not ok because men are stronger makes it a mute point because you as an adult are stronger than him as a 5year old so he might think it is ok

Jay - posted on 09/17/2011

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Men should not hit women and women should not hit men either! Hitting is wrong both ways, and tell him that, ask him how he would like if you hit him because you are bigger and stronger?
Could you ask a male role model to talk to him about it, and explain that a woman hitting his is bad also? x

Erin - posted on 09/17/2011

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Don't focus on the fact it was a woman. Focus on hitting being wrong in any situation. Explain that it hurts and upsets people, and nobody likes it. Give him a list of acceptable ways that people deal with feeling angry (quiet time alone, talking with someone, writing a letter etc) but that hitting is never acceptable.

Charlie - posted on 09/16/2011

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I agree that it should be a lesson in its not ok for anyone to anyone else.

Perhaps you could get his father or a father figure , a male he looks up to to talk to him about this but I would also encourage you to continue telling him it isnt acceptable.

Mary - posted on 09/16/2011

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He needs to know that hitting anyone-girl or guy is wrong...It's really good tht you explain it to him but if he doesn't listen you need to have some form of dicipline for him...maybe a timeout or something.

Elfrieda - posted on 09/16/2011

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Make it a very big deal if he hits, threatens, or disrespects you. Explain that you're going to do it, and then if he raises his fist to you, he loses privileges, loses a toy, etc, just to remind him that it is not okay.

Also, if you could expose him to a "manly man" who is very respectful of women, that would be a good role model for him.

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