How do you deal with everyone thinking they know better than you?

Carrie - posted on 08/01/2011 ( 201 moms have responded )

6

1

1

I have 2 1/2 year old boy. From the moment he was born, everyone in my family an opinion on the choices I was making in raising my child. I chose to breastfeed--"Ooh that's so gross, how can you let your child suck on your nipples?" I gave him organic baby food--"You need to let that boy eat rice and gravy and meat!" I chose to stay at home with him--"He should be going to daycare so he can learn to be social with other kids." On so on and on and on.

This is everyone in my immediate family, my mom, stepdad, 2 sisters (one of whom is 18 and has no kids!). And we live blocks away from each other so I can't really escape them.

The latest issue is potty training. My son plays most of the day in the living room so for convenience and quick elimination, that's where I have the potty. Every time he uses it, I dump, clean, and sanitize it. My sisters-- "I can't believe you have him pooping in the living room like a dog. Why are you teaching him to use the bathroom sitting down, you're trying to make him like a girl."

I mean, really, WTF?? I am so sick of all of this crap. Right now nothing would make me happier than to take my family and move far away where no one can see or question how I am raising my son.

Thanks for letting me vent, and I'd be interested to see others' ways to handle VERY unsolicited, and frankly insulting, advice.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/02/2011

18,889

9

3002

BTW, if you bottle fed, they would have told you to BF, if you fed meat and regular foods, they would tell you not to, if you left the potty seat in the bathroom they would say "why do you have the seat so far from him. He is learning and you need it close by."

It is one of those things...you just can't win sometimes.

[deleted account]

Personally, I would handle it by saying "Really? You are so smart!" and then go right ahead and do it my way.

Sharon - posted on 08/02/2011

4

0

0

When presented with these same insults I said "you had your chance with your children, these are my kids and I WILL do what I feel is right". Keep it up mom you are doing a good job. And becuase you take it personally you are a better mom because you are questioning yourself and that it a good sign, you do have your childs best intrest at heart.

Jodi - posted on 08/01/2011

25,983

36

3891

They really said that breastfeeding is gross? Based on that alone, I am going to say they sound like a bunch of ignorant morons and I wouldn't listen to anything they had to say. I think if someone had said that to me, I would have been far less polite than I'm sure you were. Honestly, tell them it's none of their business and if you want advice, you will ask for it. In the meantime, you'd appreciate if they would keep it to themselves. Let them know you find it insulting.

Theresa - posted on 09/11/2011

10

0

3

It's none of their business on how you want to raise your child. I lost a friend due to her not agreeing on how I was raising my daughter and the fact that I asked her to respect my decision..and she didn't like that so she blew up at me throwing every nasty comment you can ever make to a person.

I feel that each parent has teh right to raise their child the way they want to. And no body has the right to tell you differently. Nobody has the right to make you feel like a bad parent because you choose to do things differently...

I would stand up for yourself and tell them to mind their own business. If they can't respect your decisions on how you raise your child, then they do not deserve to be in your child's life. At least that is what I would do...

This conversation has been closed to further comments

201 Comments

View replies by

Tracy - posted on 09/19/2011

32

5

1

Amongst so many responses I do not know if you will see mine. I am probably going to repeat what other moms may say. How do they think babies were fed before formula and bottles were made? Yes, people might have improvised if they weren't able to breast feed. I would ask my family just that! Breast are more than just something guys look at. However, yes, family members can be so opinionated you don't know how much more you can take. You have to let them know what you are feeling and thinking but you do not have to do it in a way that leads to more stress. I know family can really get on your nerves to the point it drives a person mad. But take it from someone who lives over 500 miles away from her immediate family. Sometimes I am thankful I live this far and some days I wish I could go over to my family members houses to visit any day i want to. But your son does not need to be in a daycare and you get a job. There are other ways to be socially interactive. And kids aren't going to be scarred if they do not get social interaction as much as other family members feel they need. And sounds like to me those who are criticizing you on how your potty training your child obviously doesn't know that boys start out pt by sitting on the toilet. I do and I just learned this! I have only girls and I got my first boy! I was shocked to walk in on my husband going to the bathroom,because I seen that men sit to go poop and pee. Well, the thought never entered my mind to what guys do to go to the bathroom. But that could mean they need to learn a few things from you. So tell your family to relax. Confront them on how they are behaving and lock your door and don't answer it for a few days. Hope things get better for you!

Lisa - posted on 09/17/2011

2

68

0

when I saw this I could not help myself......lol
As mothers we will go through everything and I mean everything, I have the same problem but with my mother in law...she thought well thinks because she has raised 4 kids she was more qualified to tell me about my own kids. That used to piss me off but then I realized that where were her kids???? Non lives close by except my husband......these ppl who tell u these things are either jealous or genuinely want to help. The sis who doesn't hav kids u hav to be blunt with her or anybody who does not have kids and feel they know it all or the ones who has kids and act the same way their advice is not needed. Now the ones who really hav you and your son well being in hand are a little trickier you know they mean well but what they did with their kids does not mean you will do the same alot of the ladies here gave a piece of advice that has worked for me IGNORE them.... brush them off pacify them to keep your sanity and your relationship and if they come back and ask why u did not do it like they said smile and I mean smile and say you thought about it and was not comfortable with it and decided to do it your way and if they insist say you saw it on Oprah or read it somewhere..........I wish long health and sanity....lol :)

Katherine - posted on 09/17/2011

65,420

232

4877

****Admin Warning****

Any more rude comments and this thread will be locked.

Katherine
WtCoM
Administrator

Shauna - posted on 09/17/2011

11

0

0

I'm lucky enough to have a family that keeps their opinions to themselves- BUT I too let my 2.5 yr old sit down to go potty(pee and poop) AND his potty chair was in our living room when he was learning to go- I have moved it since he's mastered the potty and can make it to our bathroom- but personally I see nothing wrong with it!! Really at this young they are SO short it's hard to get their pee into the potty while standing- then they'd have some snarky comment about how you let your son pee all over your bathroom :-)

Tara - posted on 09/12/2011

5

42

0

Well, for the beast feeding, that's the BEST thing you can do for your child. That's your decision and a very good one. For the potty training, I also have a son that will be 3 in February and we have his potty in our living room also. You should kindly tell them that it is YOUR house and that if it makes them uncomfortable having his potty there, they are more than welcome to leave when it's potty time and return when he is done. With the rest, honey, just tell them that he is YOUR child and you are going to raise him however you decide. Ask them kindly to step back and enjoy your son instead of trying to raise him for you.

[deleted account]

I chose to breastfeed--"Ooh that's so gross, how can you let your child suck on your nipples?"

Is your family Beavis and Butthead?

Kathy - posted on 09/10/2011

7

35

1

The one thing no one tells you when you find out that you're expecting is how much unwanted advice you'll be getting. I love my family and friends but sometimes they put their two cents in where it doesn't belong. I feel like I probably get twice as much being a single parent but who knows. The "advice" I hate getting the most is about what I should do about my son's absentee dad and advice from those lacking a child. Seriously if you don't have a kid keep it to yourself. At least that's what I believe. Thank them for the advice but say you'll take in into consideration. They can't really argue with that now can they? Good Luck and remember to take a breath P.S. I breastfed my son (in public and once at work) and he's a perfect almost 3 year old.

Louise - posted on 09/10/2011

4

1

0

you could say,I really appreciate your advice and I will take it under consideration, Just like everyone though I have to learn to make decisions and or mistakes to be the best mommy I can be for my baby.

Alison - posted on 09/08/2011

12

0

2

My mother in law is HORRIBLE at telling me how to raise my son. I've just dealt with it and brushed it off until one day when it was too much and i said to her "Well, I am his mother and if you want to raise another baby you should have another one but let me raise my son how I want to" and after that she rarely speaks her opinion on my parenting :) my son is happy and healthy and well taken care of and I know i wasn't doing anything wrong but i'm nothing like her and i guess that bothered her. haha just tell them how you feel!

Lorraine - posted on 09/07/2011

1

0

0

When raising a child, especially your first child, everyone has an opinion. When I had my son even the mailman was giving me unsolicited advice and I don't think he ever spoke to me before then. Here's the long and the short of it: Is your child safe, healthy, happy? Yes? then you're doing it right. You are never going to get away from the opinions of friends and family (even strangers); my best advice, take it stride and be open to some advice because it may be helpful but ignore those comments and criticisms that aren't meant to be helpful or informative. You sound like you're doing ok to me. Keep it up!

Jane - posted on 09/03/2011

2,390

262

484

"Ooh that's so gross, how can you let your child suck on your nipples?"

Uhm, that's what they are for?

Christy - posted on 09/03/2011

5

0

0

I would just stay confident in what I was doing and what was right for me and not worry about anyone else. Tell them thanks for the advise but you are trying things differently. I had a friend like that, I used to tell her, "oh,you are probably right but I am going to try it this way. We all have to learn from our mistakes. " That way she was never offended. She didn't know what I was thinking though. Or you could just be honest and tell them all to back off!!

Hope - posted on 09/02/2011

17

0

12

I kind of have the same issues, with people giving unwanted advice, or criticize how I do things, which drives me NUTS but unfortunately I have to deal with it, or I say thanks for the advice but I will do it my way and I think there is nothing wrong with how I do things, as long as its not hurting my daughter, like I wanted to get my daughter baptized and my MIL said oh that is not priority, I am like well maybe to you, but its important to me but thanks anyways. Or I wanted to get my daughter into gymnastics or dance, just so she can be around other kids as well as being active, and she goes well she is active enough..pfffft geez, I kind of spoke up and got snippy and said hey excuse me, I don;t see anything wrong with it personally and I will do what I see fit for her, and she kind of shut right up and we moved on after that, but yea I know how it feels, I felt like everything I say or plan to do it gets discounted or knocked down whichever you wanna say it. But I am NOW learning to say hey BACK OFF but in a nice way of course.

[deleted account]

They are just trying to help because they love you and your child. In life, everyone has an opinion and who is to say one is right over another. However at the end of the day both parents should decide what is best for their child (after listening to the good (and bad) advice) because at the end of the day it is both your child and what you do or don't do is your responsibility (you will be responsible). I certainly wouldn't get mad about it though and I certainly wouldn't try to deprive a child of it's family by running away. That shows someone is immature when they talk like that, so I can see why such a person would be criticised. I kept my boy and his dad apart for 14 years and now I've lost my son over it all. It's a very very cruel thing to take a child from its family, at the end of the day you only hurt the child and yourself. There are a lot of immature people out there and you should handle this like a mature woman. When people can see that you are one, they will probably say "Well you probably know best".

Michelle - posted on 08/31/2011

1

72

0

Those are some pretty blunt, rude and disrespectful comments. You might consider just telling them to mind their own business. I mean, really those who make such stupid comments deserve a response just as bluntly. And besides, its the truth. I say call them on it.

Jessica - posted on 08/29/2011

5

53

0

There is always critics and people who will try to tell you how to raise your children. The fact of the matter is you are doing what is best for YOUR child and that's all that matters. Good luck.

Alice - posted on 08/29/2011

33

8

0

Ignore all the info you dont like, use the advise you do :) Be proud of your own ability and it will shine through to them :)

Evalyn - posted on 08/26/2011

2

0

0

YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB WITH YOUR SON, KEEP IT UP!.
I tell to my relatives "Thank you for the info, will use it when required" and that shut's them up.

Larissa - posted on 08/25/2011

8

81

2

My advise... stare, nod, and ignore LMAO.

If you decide to ride a car to the store, people say "why don't you walk, it's healthier"... if you walk, someone will say "are you dumb? why walk and sweat when the car is more comfortable"

My point, someone will always say something about anything :) - Those who matter don't criticize, and those that criticize don't matter :)

Jane - posted on 08/23/2011

2,390

262

484

Repeat to yourself: "They love me, I know they do. Ignore everything else." Then do what you believe is best for you and your son.

Barb - posted on 08/23/2011

2

0

0

After many years of listening to everyone else and their opinios, I am training myself to ignore. It is not easy, especially when the people talking to you are your family.

Maria - posted on 08/23/2011

8

13

3

I knod and smile, and then do what I want, It's my kid. I listen to what they have to say, and make my decision on whether it is something I want to try or do with my kid.

From your post, most of it is not people giving you advise, they are just critical about how you are doing things, and just like they "think" they know what they are saying, you give them your reasons as to why you do what you do.

I hate to say this, but sometimes with first time mommies, people think we just don't know what we are doing, once we explain our logic, and maybe even medical reasons of why we do what we do, they tend to back off.. Don't let people run over you, by just having anger build up inside...

Speak up respectfully, and sometimes, you just have to stay quiet for your won peace of mind.

Sarah - posted on 08/23/2011

103

88

1

As far as your sister, she is not giving you advice (she has nothing to pull from to offer it) what she is giving you is an opinion and everyone knows opinions are like a$$holes, everybody has one. As far as the rest of it, a lot of these people have offered some really good ideas. I lived very far away from my family but when my mom came to visit and offered up advice left and right the first week I had my son, I exploded. Not the best way to handle it but I couldn't take it anymore. I had advice coming from her and every other person I knew. However, it may have not been the best way to handle it but she respected me afterwards for saying something to her. She also quit offering up unsolicited advice and our relationship was better afterwards. She also realized that he was my child, he wasn't my first (she didn't come and stay with me with my first son), I knew what the heck I was doing, and when she stopped criticizing and trying to give me advice she realized that I was actually a pretty darn good mother. It's one thing for someone to give you advice every once in a while or when you ask for it but it's another to bombard someone with unsolicited advice just because you think they aren't doing things the "right" way. They will get over no matter what you do. It is obvious that they love that baby (otherwise they wouldn't offer all the advice) so my advice (lol) would be to say, "look, I am his mother, I will raise my child how I want to, if you don't like it don't come around. I realize that you all love my baby but unless I ask for your advice don't give it to me. Otherwise, I will have to cut ties with you. My baby is healthy, safe, happy, and loved and that is all you should be worried about, period."

Krystin - posted on 08/22/2011

1

0

0

That is how i feel. My son is only 10 months ,but i have to tell my fiance you need to be on my side I want to do it my way but i am always wrong and i cant do anything until we are along. I feel like you. some times i want to tell them shut up he is my son and i had him so i can do whatever i want with him. He isn't your baby!! ugh it makes me so mad. i feel you all the way...

Sarah - posted on 08/22/2011

4

88

0

and i breast fed all my kids for as long as i could and still breastfeeding my new baby girl so i know they cant tell me im doing it wrong cause not a lot of the women in my family breastfed and they dont know shit about it...you should print out a paper on how good breastfeeding is for babies and had it to the people that tell you its gross or you shouldnt do it lol and as for the sister telling you how and has no kids lol i have a sister like that but she had a baby bout couldnt handle taking care of him and she still trys to tell me and i just tell her to shut up cause she has no idea....and the potty thing... there is no sense in fighting a kid to go in the bathroom as long oas your kids isnt peeing or pooing on the floors or furniture then idk what the problem is cause i did the same thing cause when i asked a development guide she told me to put it in the living room or what ever room the kids are in the most as long as i keep an eye on it...

Sarah - posted on 08/22/2011

4

88

0

When i had my son in December 2006 all my ex husbands family was like that...I was so bitter lol so i just told them all to F off and if they wanted to see him or talk to me they can just dont tell me how to take care my own kid unless i ask for help lol and now i had my 3rd kid in june 2011 and nobody tells me unless i ask lol

Veronica - posted on 08/20/2011

2

0

0

i have the same problem! but hes your baby always remember you know best you need to let your family know that you dont need help and be clear about it youll be a better mom if you feel better and tell them to bud out enough is enough !

Mrs. - posted on 08/20/2011

1,767

6

30

There is a simple phrase I use:

"I hear what you are saying and I'll think about it."

It tends to neutralize people who are sticking their nose into your stuff. You aren't saying you'll do anything, in fact, I usually use it in the cases I don't agree. However, you are saying you heard them and that you are going to review it. It tends to cut them off at the knees and they can't continue.

If they try to elaborate, just rinse,wash and repeat with that phrase. Or use these, "That's something I'll have to consider." "You make a point and I heard it." "I'll have to spend sometime considering that and get back to you." They are all the kind of thing politicians say that assure the idiot speaking thinks they have made a good point and that it might just change their policies.

Dee - posted on 08/20/2011

40

12

0

Ok my family never steps in and tells me how to raise my chidlren, nor have I told them how to raise theirs (My sister etc) Unless we ask for advice first. And it's advice only not critisism. But there have been people who I don't even know who have. And I have told them to shove it! My children, I gave birth to them, I get to raise them. You just need to stand your ground and tell them and let them know who is the parent. And as for the bathroom thing, well I have 2 boys easier to teach them to sit down first so they can master the peeing part, then once they are fully trained to teach them standing up because it will only confuse them and a young age and may make potty training a longer process.

Dee - posted on 08/20/2011

40

12

0

Ok my family never steps in and tells me how to raise my chidlren, nor have I told them how to raise theirs (My sister etc) Unless we ask for advice first. And it's advice only not critisism. But there have been people who I don't even know who have. And I have told them to shove it! My children, I gave birth to them, I get to raise them. You just need to stand your ground and tell them and let them know who is the parent. And as for the bathroom thing, well I have 2 boys easier to teach them to sit down first so they can master the peeing part, then once they are fully trained to teach them standing up because it will only confuse them and a young age and may make potty training a longer process.

Andrea - posted on 08/19/2011

1

0

0

I have to admit, IM one of those people who always has advice... But, I cant see anything wrong with anything youre doing... Geez... your family should be lucky youre even making the effort to toilet train!...

Catherine - posted on 08/19/2011

1

0

0

Hi, Carrie. If I were you, I would listen to them but then do my own thing. I think if you can get support from your husband, you probably will feel better because you have someone on your side. It's definitely annoying when you hear other people telling you what to do about your child even if they are your close relatives. It's your child and you are the mom. You make the decision. Nobody's perfect and we all make mistakes. So as long as you make decision out of your love to your child, it really doesn't matter what others say.

Tracie - posted on 08/18/2011

317

9

1

I like to counter unsolicited advice with my own unsolicited advice. "You shouldn't breastfeed" would've been met with, "You shouldn't dye your hair that color."

If they act shocked or insulted, I say, "Oh, I thought today must be 'Unsolicited Advice Day.' It sneaks up on me every year!" No one ever gives me unsolicited advice more than once. ;-)

Caron - posted on 08/18/2011

6

0

0

This is unfortunately a common problem!!!! There are several ways of dealing with this. Ist you can just reply something along the lines of "Thanks for the advice I will definately give that some thought" or "When he is a little older I will do that, thanks for caring" If you reply with something possitive this will disarm the situation. I am not suggesting for one second you take the advice. If someone is trying to irritate you they will soon stop when you are so "nice". Remember NO ONE knows your child like you do. Have confidence in yourself and have a bit of fun being so nice!! hope it helps a little.

Janine - posted on 08/17/2011

1

0

0

I think you are a thoughtful mum to have the potty close by. Your child is learning and young, the more the child successed the greater their confidence grows. Less accidents in the pants less heart ache for the child. I agree with your choice. People give advise often to help; you don't have to agree with it, take what you think you would like to try and keep the other advice for later or just bin it. Your child will have many stages of growth. All children do. Don't allow people to rob you of the joy of having your beautiful son and enjoy watching him grow. From a grandma of 4 soon to be 5. The goal you have is to help your child learn and grow and for you both to enjoy the experience.

Sydney - posted on 08/17/2011

12

21

1

You may not have the power to choose your family. But you do have the power to lock the door ;) Just limit the time they spend with your child. If they voice an opinion on that, which I am sure they will (from the sounds of it)... let them know that until they are more supportive of how you have carefully thought to raise YOUR child - they aren't going to bring their negativity around as often. :) Best of luck , love!

Jenelle - posted on 08/17/2011

9

10

0

It's actually ok to have a potty chair in your living room. Children do not want to stop doing what it is they are doing to go to the bathroom, so this is just a little closer for him. In addition, it gets him used to seeing the potty and becoming more comfortable with potty training.

As far as the staying at home and all the heck your getting from that, tell them that once your finances start concerning them, then you will be open for their input, but until then, tell them your doing a great job in raising your son and providing him with what you THE PARENT feel is best.

Leslie - posted on 08/15/2011

27

25

15

I'm going through the same thing with my family. I give my baby normal baths cause she is eight months and started cilmbing out of her baby tub. My mom like make sure you watch her. I'm like to myself what I am stupid. Don't feed her baby food meat yet either though the baby food jar says eight months. Don't let baby sleep in your room cause she needs to get use to her own room. this is when we move to our 3 bedroom house cause we were in a one bedroom apt. She nows sleep in her own room, but she was fine getting use to her room whether she slept in our room in her playpen cause we had the air conditioner when it was hot. don't let your child learn to do things on her own. Like being indepence. I want her to be less things I have to do. the only two things that bother me about my mom are she does not understand post partum depression, and won't bond with her grandduaghter. she only took her over night once. so I hardly ever see my husband and that the only depression I have left. my husband mom, works nights so that'd out of the question.

Anana - posted on 08/15/2011

1

2

0

First of all - NIPPLES are for the baby. That's what they're for. Kudos on breastfeeding. I always give new moms one bit of advice: "don't listen to anyone's advice!" Motherhood Training is innate, with the advanced training taking place during pregnancy. Trust your "gut".

Claire - posted on 08/15/2011

2

16

0

Tell them to do one!Every child is different and what might work for them might not work for you. At the end of the day you know your son the best nobody know's their child better than their own mother. So if i were you i would say thank you for the advice but he is my son and i will do what i think is best for him.

Autumn - posted on 08/15/2011

13

51

0

Luckily my family backed every decision I've made on parenting my daughter. They gave me advice on how they raised me, my aunts and grandmother helped my mom raise me after she divorced my dad. I have been able to use some of their advice because it goes with some of the things I'm doing. But not all of their advice works for me. My boyfriend's family is a little different. His mom and sister, who has a daughter 12 weeks older than ours, live in Michigan so we don't see them often. When I was pregnant they were pushing me to have a c-section and not be induced, mainly because my MIL was induced twice with my boyfriend and his twin brother and had a horrible experience and ended up having a c-section. My SIL didn't have a choice, she had an emergency c-section at 32 weeks. They were mainly going on their experiences and the fact that I'm only 5' even, my doctor was wanting me to do the c-section for fear that I wouldn't be able to do vaginal but he let me try and I did it successfully. My SIL does tell me about different things they've done with her daughter and our daughters, even though they're 5 hours away and only see each other a couple times a year, are almost exactly alike it's kinda creepy! LOL BUT my boyfriend's step mother is a different story. She thinks that everything I do is wrong. I had to give up in BFing my daughter at 6 weeks because I wasn't producing enough for her, which she thought was a load of crap and told me that I needed to suck it up and continue BFing. Then she said that I needed to push Emaleigh to crawl, she didn't start doing that til she was 8 months old. Then she said that I shouldn't have pushed her to walk, which Emaleigh started doing on her own at 10 months. Then it was I need to give her more table foods, and I shouldn't put flip flops on her, blah. blah, blah. It gets REALLY annoying. But that didn't irk me as much as it did when she put her two cents in when I was pregnant. On Emaleigh's dad's side of the family, she is the youngest grandchild and great grandchild. On my side of the family, Emaleigh is the first grandchild and great grandchild. The step MIL went out and bought her everything under the sun, without consulting me first. The only things my family got to buy were clothes, diapers, wipes, a highchair, baby moniters, and baby gates. She went out and bought us a used crib, which didn't bother me that it was used but it didn't have all the pieces so we ended up going and buying one. She never asked me what the theme for Emaleigh's room was. I have OCD, so everything has to match. Nothing she bought Emaleigh matched anything, let alone the other stuff that she bought. I kept telling my boyfriend and his dad to tell her to back the F off before I told her to and if I had to tell her then I'd never be invited over to their house again. Needless to say her aunt told her to back off and she quit buying stuff.

Sorry for my rant....I REALLY, REALLY dislike my step-MIL....can ya tell? LOL

But I've gotten to the point where when people tell me that I'm doing something wrong, or that I should be doing something differently, I tell them to come over to my house and I'll pack all of Emaleigh's stuff up and they can take her home and raise her since apparently HER MOTHER doesn't know what she's doing and they know all. I'm kind of a b*tch anyway, so it's not in a nice tone. But they always back off and leave me alone, if not all together at least for a little bit.

--Oh and my daughter is 2 and when I say "flip flops" I'm talking about the sandals that don't cover the toes. They have straps on the back and a buckle. Apparently, according to my step MIL, those shoes aren't meant for children under 4 "because they can't walk as well when they are younger". But my kid has never been unsteady on her feet. Even when she started walking.

Sara - posted on 08/11/2011

41

11

3

they want to critasize u and make u do it their way i kno wat u mean my family does it to i just tell em back off and when i want ur opion ill ask 4 it till then buttt out.... it wost when u liv e wit em and there is no means of esapein them. my oldest is 6 now and some times i feel like im not the one raisin him the way i wanted to

Abbey - posted on 08/10/2011

4

0

0

I have a family that sounds exactly like yours! i have no idea why they question everything i do. i try to ignore it but its so frustrating! this might be my first child, but i know whats right for him. the worst ones are always the people without children who think they know whats best. Mothers know best!

Jennifer - posted on 08/10/2011

6

15

0

I do not pay attention to what other people think about how I raise my kids. They are MY kids. As long as you are happy with the way you are raising you children, that is all that matters..I think that you are doing a great job, and you are the only one whos knows whats best for your children.

Alina - posted on 08/09/2011

8

0

0

You need to tell your family I am the mother and i will do as i please, he's my child not yours it won't be easy to do or say but you have to. If you can and have to move away I did and turned out to be the best thing i ever did, some times family are the worst to be around. I know they are family but it's your child end of story. Good luck

Sandy - posted on 08/08/2011

1

0

0

i think you'redoing a great job of parenting. what they say about 'Mothers Know Best' is true. Ignore them Your reaction and getting frazzled just drivesthemtomake more 'helpful' suggestions. I have three kids and inlaws who do not know their boundaries. I stood my ground and went on to raise my children the way i wanted to with them screaming and kickking in the sidelines..what can they really do?? You are THE mom and not them..stay cool sistah :-)

Kristen - posted on 08/08/2011

15

16

1

Everyone has their own opinions on child raising and that does make things difficult, but my opinion is it sounds like you are doing just fine taking care of your child, as far as how you feed them, as long as they are getting vitamins and whatever they need it doesn't really matter what they are getting it from. My daughter is rediculously picky in food and I have to give her flinstone vitamins to make sure she gets what she needs. But anyways, don't let them get you down. I would say be honest with them and tell them that this is YOUR child and you are doing what you think is best. Breast feeding is actually the BEST option for a child because it is natural, breast milk has exactly what the child needs, thats why we as mothers have the ability to breast feed, no formula can be better than that. It's nice to have suggestions from time to time (from people who have had kids and know a thing or two) but you never have to take their advice. Be strong and stick to what you believe is right, you sound like a smart momma who is doing just fine caring for her child.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms