How do you discipline a young child when out in public?

Elizabeth - posted on 09/07/2011 ( 213 moms have responded )

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How do you respond when you have to discipline your child out in a public place? My daughter had to take her 5 year old daughter aside privately and she gave her a quick spank, not abusive, but another woman yelled that it was child abuse and she should not do that. I know that spanking has a controversial thought as it is, but it was in no way abusive and it was done in private in a bathroom stall. At what point do we let the other person know that they should mind their own business? It's not always an option waiting until they get home.

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Sherri - posted on 09/07/2011

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Spanking is not abuse in any state in the US JuLeah so you have no right to intervene or even speak a word since a spanking is not abuse.

Natasha - posted on 09/07/2011

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I am a single parent to a 17 year old son and I took him everywhere with me when he was younger. We had a "code" word between the two of us and if he was doing something that I didn't approve of, all I had to do was say "the word". It was a silly word that we both came up with so it didn't embarrass him when I said it. Also, it helps if you say what you mean and mean what you say. This way children understand that you mean business. Good Luck.. It worked for me. :)

Sherri - posted on 09/07/2011

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Forget it JuLeah really you are NOT getting my point what so ever. Really it was used as an example However, do I or have I yelled at my kids most definitely and have I grabbed their arm to get their attention as they try to walk away yes, not violently but yes I have held there arm. However, I am also a parent that condones spanking as well. However, we don't use spankings past around 3yrs old.

Am I knocking those who don't hell no. Different things work for different families. However, I take offense that I can not yell at my child, spank them or anything else for fear of people like you calling the authorities. It is ludacris. Just because you may not agree in no way makes it wrong or even relatively breaks any laws.

Whether you are a mandatory reporter or not you should be able to tell the difference between abuse and a difference in parenting. However, I feel you feel your way is the only way and so you will call on any parent who has a different way of parenting and that is a crying shame.

Jodi - posted on 09/07/2011

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Well, it IS actually considered abuse in over 30 countries (developed and forward thinking countries) around the world. In many others, there are restrictions on the usage of spanking. So it's really a matter of opinion as to whether it is abuse or not. You are entitled to your opinion, and the lady who watches you spank your child is entitled to hers.

Discipline in public as you would at home. If other people's opinions on your discipline method bother you, and you can't ignore it, then perhaps you should reconsider your methods of discipline. If you are comfortable with the way you discipline your child, then why is it bothering you what someone else's opinion is?

Personally, I don't understand why it is ok to hit a child, but not ok to hit an adult. So obviously, I don't hit my children in public, but I do discipline in public in the same way I do at home. My kids don't act up in public. Even when they were younger, it was a very rare occurrence. A 5 year old should know how to behave in public without requiring a spanking. I question how very bad her behaviour was to need a spank.

JuLeah - posted on 09/07/2011

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You grab your kids by the arm and yell? This is not discipline, btw.



I discipline my child in public all the time, just as I do at home.



I never want her to think it is okay for someone to manhandle her, disrespect her body, shame her .... if I treat her like that, I fear she will allow others to do the same, or worse, disrespect her own body



I can't even envision a situation where I would grab her by the arm, yell, or hit her.



She is an amazing kid, kind hearted, sweet, well mannered, cares about the feelings of others, listens well, makes great effort to 'do the right thing' - is willing to try new things ... I can and have always taken her with me nearly every place I go.



Some events are adult only of course, but I have not found a social situation she doesn't fit with ...



I guess I am going with the don't fix what aint broken idea ... I couldn't ask for a better kid, for lack of a better phrase, so I won't be changing my parenting style at this point



Understand too, I come from a community where people just don’t ever hit their kids. It is viewed as criminal here even if not considered so by the law.



And, we have really great kids – they care about the world they live in, about themselves, each other, their future … excel in school, have many interests …



So, it can be done



My daughter is not grown yet, and I have not been through the teen years, but my hope/idea is, if we move through those years from a place of respect and trust, we will come out the other side with respect and trust

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Jodi - posted on 09/09/2011

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***MOD WARNING***
Sorry ladies, I am pulling on my Mod hat here because this discussion is deteriorating into personal attacks. I am deleting a number of posts and ask you to please stay on topic and refrain from further personal attacks.

Thank you!

[deleted account]

Lol. Last time I ever post on this site. My phone has been ringing off the hook w emails. Ill just read.from now on and laugh at how much time ppl waste arguing with complete strangers and looking up information and doing so much research for nothing bc diff ppl have diff opinions. And bc I posted 2 observations I made in which I minded my business I was "judged" as condoning child abuse. Good to know that false reporters can get fined themselves /Ill relay that to the next mom in this situation. Last post ever.

Jodi - posted on 09/09/2011

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@ Alicia, I will say it again. There is not a single person here suggesting that anyone should let a child go undisciplined in public.

Jodi - posted on 09/09/2011

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I think the trouble with spanking being legal is that there are so many different views on what a spanking is, and what constitutes abuse. To you, abuse may be if you swat that child with an open hand more than once (where I live, you are only allowed to spank open handed ONCE on the butt, or it crosses the line to be legally considered abuse). To another person, it may be okay to pop their child across the head, or slap them across the face, or use a paddle to give them 10 of the best. The only way to REALLY be certain of where the line is, is to not condone it at all.

[deleted account]

The reality is no one here is going to change anyone's mind.
Speak for yourself.
My mind and others have been changed on controversial topics before, not all people are close minded. Some people are actually open enough to read educational material and make educated decisions about topics instead of going with what they were taught or exposed to.

Jodi - posted on 09/09/2011

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Ah, ok Amanda, when you mentioned studies refuting, I just jumped. My apologies.

Alicia - posted on 09/09/2011

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I pinched my son on the leg. It was enough. It worked. No one saw it and he understood. But the worst thing you could ever do is let the child go undisciplined. They will learn that in public, they can throw a fit, and that's exactly what they will do!

Amanda - posted on 09/09/2011

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Jodi that post was aimed at Julianne's statements not yours.



All I was gonna respond to yours is basicly what you just said they were abused not spanked

Jodi - posted on 09/09/2011

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Actually, Amanda, if you had read my post correctly, I didn't say that the people in jail had all been spanked, I said they had been abused. I don't believe the occasional single open handed swat on the behind is abuse, I've never said I do. I don't agree with it, but that doesn't mean I think you are abusing your child if you do here and there.



I've said that in many countries ANY form of spanking is abuse. But I said that the MAJORITY of people in jail were abused. I didn't say spanked. I was simply refuting the argument that the majority were never spanked. This is merely an assumption and false argument used by those who support spanking.

Charlie - posted on 09/09/2011

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Actually MANY have implied it .

It should be everyones business when a childs human rights are being breached hence why many country's have progressed to making it illegal , statistically countries who have a higher rate of spanking also have a higher rate of crime ( lets say the US ) unlike its counterparts where spanking is illegal and have significantly lower crime rates ( like sweden).

Amanda - posted on 09/09/2011

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And there are two times as many studies on the damages of fast food and formula feeding being linked to obesity. Just like the one linking autism with vaccines ended up being flawed I wont be surprised when it is discovered yours are likewise. The reality is no one here is going to change anyone's mind. If you don't agree with spanking don't do it but that doesn't give you the right to interfere with me or my kids when I practice my Legal right to discipline my child as I see fit.



At Danielle is is legal and common practice for adults to have sex, drink and vote and it is quite illegal for kids to have sex, drink or vote. There are things adults can do and kids can't period. Just like most kids can drop their pants and pee in public where any adult would be at least charged with a crime.....Fair or unfair that's life.

Sarita - posted on 09/09/2011

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Sherri you and I sound a lot alike lol, my inlaws and my neighbor babysit for me and they all have permission to spank if needed. As do my parents and sibblings. I alo have permission from my siblings to do the same with their children. Oh and for those wondering my dad wasn't just any cop. He actually was the lead investigator on abuse, molestation and neglect cases. And my mom is a nurse. I really don't remember getting spanked except for once and that was from my biological father who did spank for no reason and he did it with a belt with pants and underwear down. Needless to say I did not see him much. When I spank its a quick swat on the butt with clothing on with an open hand. I feel sad thar certain people would "vividl" remember being spanked over having happy memories.

Jodi - posted on 09/09/2011

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"The kids who receive no discipline (and time out, etc, does not work for a lot of kids) are the ones who end up in jail, and/or seriously hurting others. "

Actually, this is not correct. The majority of those who are in jail are those who suffered abuse. There have been studies done to this effect. I can look them all up again if you want me to. But if I do that, I expect you to back your claims as well and point me in the direction of the studies that indicate lack of spanking is the reason most of these people are in jail :D

Danielle - posted on 09/09/2011

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I have 5 children, 2 are now grown, and I still have 3 children at home (11, 10 and 5), and I have never spanked them, and my children know the limits and boundaries when it comes to expectations of behaviour. I have never understood why it's against the law to assault another adult who upsets you, but it's perfectly legal to assault a child. I DON'T assault my children, it's as simple as that. I have educated myself as a parent, and have learned so much from my experience with my children. Not spanking a child, in NO means indicates that they will be out of control. ..and in fact, I teach my children self-control...and to take appropriate responsibility for their actions. My opinion on discipline is that if it doesn't teach them anything..it's not productive. We all want our children to grow up having self-control, respect and a great understanding of what is and is not appropriate in our world. Assault is considered inappropriate in our society..so why treat an inappropriate behaviour with another inappropriate behaviour?

Not to mention that we have been foster parents, and have seen how easily spanking can go seriously WRONG. Our three younger (prior fostered and now adopted) children all suffered severe child abuse, so, in no way will I, their MOTHER, the one who is responsible for making them feel safe and happy again, be the cause of any further physical or emotional pain for them. No way.

Sherri - posted on 09/09/2011

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I agree I remember maybe one or two spankings and honestly they are pretty fuzzy. I have way more amazing memories!!!!

[deleted account]

Its PROVEN humans remember traumatic experiences more vividly (not more as in abundance) than those that are not. Its a primitive defense mechanism. To remember pain more vividly so you can avoid it in the future. So your spew about "my childhood was bliss blah blah blah" has nothing to do with what i said.

Danielle - posted on 09/09/2011

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although I am an advocate against any kind of corporal punishment, I have a serious issue with other people judging one another...that just drives me nuts. I don't care where I am, I discipline my children, because it's my job...too bad if others don't like it. i have even raised my voice at my children in public, when I had finally gotten to the point where I had had absolutely enough of their behaviour. My advice would be to not let being in public stop you from appropriately disciplining your child, because trust me, your children will learn to take advantage of that situation....

Amanda - posted on 09/09/2011

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I feel sorry for you Julianne if you can more easily remember bad memories than happy memories. Personally I try to remember only happy memories not to remember the bad ones. I was spanked when it was needed which wasn't often more often as a small child than a bigger one which is probably why I don't remember it. I have the best memories of my childhood and know TONS of people who were spanked and didn't end up "damaged" and I also know kids who were not ever spanked and they grew up selfish disrespectful and stayed in trouble all the time. I am not implying that all unspanked kids are brats but not all spanked kids are damaged far from it. ALL KIDS ARE DIFFERENT some respond well to talking other only respond to a smack. So please stop trying to sell the BS spanking damages kids because it is BS...

Sherri - posted on 09/09/2011

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Oh by the way I was spanked and my dad was Chief of Police in our town and a police officer in another!!!

[deleted account]

Tell them to raise their own kids and not tell you how to raise yours! If you are not stringing her up on tree and giving her lashes with a whip, then it's no one's to comment on how you discipline your kids. Only you know your kids and some kids understand words, others need a quick spank! Time out don't work with my kids...#imjustsayin

Kylie - posted on 09/09/2011

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yeah loving that :/ Our brains must work differently Sherri because if anyone family or otherwise layed a hand on my kids to "discipline" them they would be very very sorry. It's my job to protect my children and teach them that their body is theirs and NOBODY has the right to hit them. ever. period.

Sarita - posted on 09/09/2011

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Its not against the law to spank your child. When my 3 year old misbehaves I count to 3 with the threat of either a time out, or a spanking. I usually only have to get to 2 1/2 and he stops, but sometimes I do have to follow through. I have even swatted him in front of a bunch of people. Lol one time I even did it in front of a cop. He just chuckled and walked off. I look at it this way, my parents spanked me (my dad was a cop by the way) and I turned out just fine and so will my kids. Its the kids that are just ignored or told over and over and over and over not to do something that are the hellions that nobody can stand. And to hell with anybody who thinks I'm abusing my child or damaging their self confidence or heaven forbid embarrassing them. I don't know who decided spanking was so bad, the world back in the time of our parents and grandparents was so much safer and more disaplined and guess what! They were all spanked! If they were hellions at school they were spanked, and lord help you if your parents found out about it cause then you got it again, plus a grounding when you got home. Any ways that's my view. Sorry so long.

[deleted account]

That was nervy of the woman. I quick spank is a definite. My first attempt is taking my 3 1/2 yr. old aside in public and having a talk, but I remember when she threw a fit in the store when she wouldn't listen to me. I threw her over my shoulder and walked out the front door straight to the car. I was going to explode. I put her in the carseat and she fought me. I shut the door and did laps around the car while taking deep breaths. After she and I settled dowm, we had the talk. But honestly, every child is different, and every parent is different. What I have found is if you and your husband are on the same page with discipline, it is so important to follow through and discuss with child when you are both in your right frame of mind. What works for us doesn't neccessarly works for my niece and her parents. Keep in mind that children have bad days just like we do, but it doesn't give them the right to get out of hand. I love my daughter and I am proud of her, but there is that occassion, rarely. Best of Luck.

Natasha - posted on 09/09/2011

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I have a seven year old daughter, who takes great delight in testing me constantly to see if her boundaries or my tolerance levels have changed since the last time she tried it on. That's a kid's job, that's what they do. Explore their world, test their boundaries and limitations. When they know where those boundaries are, they feel safe in the knowledge that they know their world, and trust those around them who love them. I'm not going to sit here and say that my child is perfect, or that I'm a wonderful mother who never does a thing wrong, because neither are the case. I am surrounded by my mother and sister, who look at my parenting style and constantly make comments to the effect of "well, if she was my kid i would smack her ass. I wouldn't let her get away with it.". So for a while, due to the constant pressure, I reverted to smacking. Which I hated myself for, it achieved nothing with my daughter, and I have now gone back to the ways I believe in for myself. I remind her that her behaviour is not what I like or will put up with. Following that if the behaviour continues, she gets sent to her room or the hallway. Following that, she gets a lecture on how disappointed mummy is with her, and how I feel sad at the lack of respect she is showing me and herself. Then I go to banning her from computer or playstation time. Usually by this stage she has gotten the message that what she did was unacceptable and she has changed the behaviour, apologised, gotten a cuddle, and we have moved on. In public, I follow pretty much the same procedures, although the hallway/bedroom phase is where i find the nearest wall or seating area, tell her to sit there for a designated number of minutes, and I walk away from her a little, so she can't talk to me during those minutes. I am still near enough to get to her, she is still in my line of sight, she just has nobody to talk to during the cool off period.
Sure, sometimes I get frustrated to all hell with her for constantly testing me, or making me repeat the same things over and over. But that's my issue to deal with, not hers. I sometimes put myself on a time out. I go away from her for a few minutes if it is safe to do so, and i tell her that mummy needs time to cool off, so she should go find something quiet to do. When she could tell I was getting frustrated with something the other day, she said to me "Maybe you need to take a timeout mummy!" Which totally made me laugh, and the frustration vanished.
One thing we should remember, is that your child is half of you. And everything they are giving you now, you probably gave to your mother in your time too. What goes around comes around. But we now have many more choices on how to deal with things than our parents or their parents had.

[deleted account]

8. HITTING BRINGS BACK BAD MEMORIES

A child's memories of being spanked can scar otherwise joyful scenes of growing up. People are more likely to recall traumatic events than pleasant ones. I grew up in a very nurturing home, but I was occasionally and "deservedly" spanked. I vividly remember the willow branch scenes. After my wrongdoing my grandfather would send me to my room and tell me I was going to receive a spanking. I remember looking out the window, seeing him walk across the lawn and take a willow branch from the tree and come back to my room and spank me across the back of my thighs with the branch. The willow branch seemed to be an effective spanking tool because it stung and made an impression upon me— physically and mentally. Although I remember growing up in a loving home, I don't remember specific happy scenes with nearly as much detail as I remember the spanking scenes. I have always thought that one of our goals as parents is to fill our children's memory bank with hundreds, perhaps thousands, of pleasant scenes. It's amazing how the unpleasant memories of spankings can block out those positive memories.







This is copied from one of the links i posted.

Think back to YOUR childhood. Which memories are more vivid?? The ones of you being smacked? Or the happy ones? Speaking for myself, the memories of my mother punishing me are the most vivid. Don't you want to instill happy memories in your child?

Kim - posted on 09/09/2011

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While I'm sure my opinion won't be popular with some people on here, here it is: I believe in spanking, but I think there are rules that go along with it. The child should know that that will be the consequence if they continue the behavior and the spanking should be controlled. What I mean is that it should be done calmly and without anger, fear or any other negative emotion. Back in the good old days spanking was the punishment and kids behaved themselves and showed respect because they knew there would always be consequences for their actions. Kids now show very little respect and are allowed to run wild because parents are afraid to discipline them for fear of some idiot like your daughter ran into or worse. No one is going to tell me how to raise my children which, by the way, are very well behaved. They have their issues now & then, but I get compliments all the time on how great they are and that is because I have taken my roll as their parent seriously & they have always had consequences for bad behavior. Your daughter probably acted in the best way she could. Tell her not to worry about the idiots out there and keep doing what she's doing.

Sherri - posted on 09/09/2011

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Kylie as I stated I am very knowledgeable and educated. Also I will discipline in public and I don't give a damn what anyone thinks. Also I also give a damn what is legal or illegal in other countries I live in the US and have my entire life. So as far as laws I follow the laws of the US and they are the only ones that matter to me and since it is legal in every state in the US to spank. I will continue to occasionally spank my 2 or 3 times a year when I deem necessary up till the age of 3 -3 1/2yrs old.

Oh you will love this too I give anyone of my family members or close family friends permission to spank my children as well and have the same permission from all of my families kids and close family friends. Actually when the kids are dropped off they are told if they misbehave I have permission to spank them if I deem necessary and I will admit I have on occasion spanked others children as well (GASP)

Also I treat my children better than most they are very much respected in every aspect of their lives. Honestly I could give a rats butt that you don't agree. I am following the letter of the law. So if you have a problem with it take it up with them, not me.

Bernadette - posted on 09/09/2011

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I personally don't see anything wrong with a little smack, as it does not really hurt - no more than a little sting. You see so many feral kids these days, who think that they can get away with anything and the world owes them everything. Is these the kind of adults we want to bring up, thinking that we are being "kinder" by not smacking? The kids who receive no discipline (and time out, etc, does not work for a lot of kids) are the ones who end up in jail, and/or seriously hurting others. But it's kinder that way, right? At least we are not "abusing" them with a little open-handed smack on the bum?

That said, I do think it is very hard to know how to deal with it in public - you really do have to be careful, because who knows how it is going to be misconstrued? I don't usually smack my daughter in public (truth be told, I don't often smack her at all - there is not often a need, because just the threat of it is enough and she has quickly learned what is and isn't appropriate behaviour) unless I absolutely have to (when nothing else has worked). On these occasions, it is usually a little tap on the back of the hand or top of the leg and always in a private place. But as I said, I don't do this often. What I find to be most effective is to threaten to put her in the pram or trolley. She is only two and a half (so I guess it's a bit different with a 5 year old) so she likes to be little miss independent and walk by herself. If she is not behaving though, it's into the pram or the trolley. She doesn't like this and usually the threat of it is enough. If that doesn't work, I make sure I act on it and put her in for at least 5 minutes. Then I will give her another chance to show she can behave herselt and get her back out. She knows that if she misbehaves again, she goes back in and stays in. Also, she misses out on other priveledges - she often gets to go on the coin-operated ride, get a babycinno at the coffee shop, or go in the playroom that our shopping centre provides for children. If she doesn't behave, she doesn't get to do any of these things. It usually works for us, but the trick is to always make sure to follow through on the threat otherwise they quickly learn you don't mean it. For example, if you have told the child 10 times to stop doing something or they'll miss out on a treat, and on the 10th time they finally listen - don't give them the treat because they need to learn they have to do it the first time. Behaving for the last 5 minutes of a shopping trip doesn't entitle them to rewards for good behaviour!

[deleted account]

Since 30 different countries around the world consider it illegal, and the act to be ABUSE I'm going to side with them. America seems to be behind when it comes to something as simple as basic human rights. It is so much different then an other PARENTING CHOICE. It is abuse. You know some places in America think its OK to use a paddle or weapon to discipline. Not only that, but they have weapons in school so teachers can hit students! Its all the same, just different levels of severity.

Amanda - posted on 09/09/2011

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Thank you penny for being an educated MR. Pure and simple Spanking is no different than any other PARENTING CHOICE. Personally I feel bottle feeding an infant and feeding your child McDonald's everyday is abusive but that doesn't give me the right to interfere with every mom who walks into McDonald's does it and for those who think spanking is different than McDonald's there are plenty of studies on the damage poor eating habits cause to kids so a good spanking might hurt now but that kids meal will hurt for years.

Penny - posted on 09/09/2011

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Actually if you look up the laws, each state has their own laws according to spanking. In our state it IS legal to spank a child with your hand upon their buttocks. You cannot use a belt, flyswatter or any other "weapon" against a child. I also am a mandated reporter and as a mandated reporter it is my responsibility to know exactly what the law states. I am not allowed to spank the children in my care and I don't hesitate to use time out in public. I have had a 4 year old scream for an hour in WalMart to do a 4 min time out. Constancy is the most important thing weather it be at home or in public. Do make sure you know exactly what your State's laws are and the exact wording of those laws.

[deleted account]

samantha thank you for clearing that up for all those that think it is abuse. Too many false reports are filed while children in need are waiting to be saved. Thank you!!!

Samantha - posted on 09/09/2011

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I am a mandatory reporter and hitting on the butt open handed is not abuse. As a matter of fact, in my training reporting spanking that was in a none violent manner can be considered a false report and the reporter can be fined. Different kids need different punishments. My oldest has to have things taken from him, or have "quiet time" where he sits on his bed and rest/calms down, where my youngest does corner time or if hes using his hands wrong they get a spanking, which is not abuse, I was informed of this by his Doc and a DHS worker. As long as your hand is open and its in a non-violent way (leaving no marks). For a child so young waiting till you get home wont work because they most likely wont remember what they did wrong.

Rebecca - posted on 09/09/2011

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Look at the antecedent to see what is causing the behavior. Is the child hungry, bored, tired? Children have a minute attention span by age. If you are in a sit down restaurant and they have been there for a while, the child is probably bored. A five year old normally has self control, but you did not describe what the child was doing. A consequence should be respectful as well as relate to the action. My 4 year old sometimes runs off and I am almost 6 months pregnant. When he does this I tell him if I cannot trust you with me, you will have to go in the stroller or cart at the store because mommy needs to keep you safe. Do not punish a child in a way you yourself would not like to be punished. I just took a parenting class and it was very helpful. There are better ways to discipline besides spanking. The parenting class helps the parent recognize if it is a teaching moment or time to use a consequence. My 4 year old is much better behaved now and I am a happier parent.

[deleted account]

You do not have to hit a child to teach them to behave. If i seen ANYONE spanking a child anywhere, i would do the same thing. Inform them its abuse and tell them what i would have done. When a childs rights are being taken away, IT IS MY BUSINESS. Our job as parents is to teach ALL children to be kind and loving. How do you expect to do that by hitting them. Hitting is violent and there is NOTHING loving or kind about violence. It takes a village to raise a child and if you don't like the publics two cents about raising your child don't bring them in public.

Jodi - posted on 09/09/2011

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Jasmin, the fact is, where I live, *popping* a child across the head would be highly illegal. People were just pointing out to you that in their opinion (and by law where they live), it is child abuse, and you seem to think it is acceptable. I must admit, I read your post and thought you were condoning it too.



You could also lose the attitude. If you don't want to respond, you don't have to.



Edited to add: A perfectly good parent doesn't smack a kid over the head. That can be dangerous and there is a reason it is illegal in MANY countries.



Edited AGAIN to add: Let's drop all the "parents know best for their kids". That's complete bullshit. There are so many instances of parents who obviously don't know what's best. If parents always knew best there would be no need for Child Protection Services.

Kylie - posted on 09/09/2011

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There is a reason spanking has been outlawed in over 30 countries in the world. I think that speaks volumes on this issues. Where is the line between spanking and abuse? It cant be drawn and that is why you should keep your hands to yourself and use other techniques to teach smaller human beings and animals.

[deleted account]

over 6000 comments to ppl on this site? Jeez how do you find time to raise your kids? I think you need to ease up on telling ppl what you thinl cuz guess what-no1 cares.

[deleted account]

You'll always come across someone scrutinizing a spanking in public, so I avoid it. I would take my son outside,or in the car, and tell him to get out whatever he needed to release so we could go back inside. He could have a meltdown if he wanted to, but it's not acceptable in a public place--especially at a restaurant. I would never reward the bad behavior.

Lexy - posted on 09/09/2011

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I think the very fact that you cannot discipline in public says something about your disciplining style.

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