How do you feel about letting your child cry it out?

MELISSA - posted on 05/11/2010

it depends, if he's being a brat or if he's really in dire needs. he tends to be a brat at times and i don't pick him up, i put him in the living room and he sits there and does his thing and when he's done i get him and he gives me kisses but sometimes he needs his mommy.

Melissa - posted on 05/11/2010

I don't believe in it... I have tried it a couple of times. One night I let him cry not screaming but whinning more or less for over an hour in his crib... it didn't help him so after about 2 minutes I go in not matter what! Do what is best for you and your LO!! My LO and me CIO is not the program.

Medic - posted on 05/11/2010

I do believe in it to an extent. My three month old has to fuss to settle herself and it makes no difference if I am holding her or not. So I let her fuss it lasts MAYBE a few min max. Both of my kids are noisey sleepers so everytime they wimper or whine in their sleep even if they cry I wait atleast a min or two before I go to get them because 90% of the time they are still passed out.

Melissa - posted on 05/11/2010

Sometimes it's neccessary in order for them to learn how to soothe themselves to sleep. If they are screaming bloody murder it's time to check on them and calm them down, but honestly crying won't kill them.

*Lisa* - posted on 05/11/2010

Well I felt horrible letting my boy cry it out. But at 7 months he was waking every hour and wouldn't respond to any other method.

Joanna - posted on 05/11/2010

Marabeth, I assume your last bit about crying just to cry is about my post... if you read it, I said my daughter is 2 1/2. At that age... they cry just to cry! If she's bored, sometimes she has a fake cry. If she wants attention, she has a whine/cry. Like I said.. you have to be able to KNOW what is a real cry and a fake cry, especially in a toddler. That comment wasn't meant for small infants.

At a young age, it's hard to know if they are crying for cuddles, if they are uncomfortable, if they have a tummyache, etc. And I'm in no way saying that a young child should be left screaming alone. But if all my baby wants and is crying for is mama in the room to hold her until she falls asleep, and it's been 2 hours of me doing so, mama needs to sleep too to keep her sanity. At 7 months I knew her well enough to know that she didn't NEED me in that way anymore, so CIO is what worked (and wonderfully I might add) for us. At 8 months old I could hear her wake in the middle of the night and babble to herself happily and then fall back asleep half an hour later, while my best friend was still having to get up with her 2 year old boy because he needed her to help him fall asleep. I am SO glad that isn't me right now... CIO not only helped give all of us more much needed sleep (she was SO much happier upon waking in the morning due to more sleep!), but also helped with our sanity!

Marabeth - posted on 05/11/2010

if my baby cries i pick her up and do what i can to make her feel better. i don't see why you need to 'toughen them up' or teach them to 'self soothe.' if anything it just seems depressing when they are left alone to cry (even if it's just a whimpering cry) for several minutes at a time. if my husband (or any family member/friend) was crying i wouldn't leave him alone for five minutes at a time! i would hug him and give him the attention he needs, get to the root of his problems and do what i can to make him happy. why should it be any different for a little person new to this world??? there is a reason that a baby's (especially your owns) cries raise a person's ire-- you're not biologically just supposed to let them continue! i dont think babies, as another poster said, 'cry just to be crying.' that doesn't make any sense, there's always a reason. if we as a species cried 'just to be crying' all of our young would have been killed by predators during the 200,000 years we've been in existence.

Sarah - posted on 05/11/2010

i think its fine as long as your child isn't crying for long periods of time! as a daycare provider you can tell what parents run to their kid every time they whimper and which parents let their kids cry a little! as a daycare provider it helps alot when the kid can self soothe every now and then! if you have 4 kids under age 2 per 1 adult (our states ratio for group daycares!) you can't help everyone thats crying all of the time if they are all crying at once! usually the child that actually needs something is helped 1st and if your child can self soothe it helps the daycare provider alot! you know your child's cry and what it means! if you think its not needed to pick them up and you think they will stop crying soon... then by all means let your child cry for a little bit!

Gwen - posted on 05/11/2010

I don't believe in it. Especially in children under a year old. Five minutes is my max. After that, I usually check on her and leave the room. For example: Sometimes it's a simple as being tangled in her blankie. What's the sense in leaving her in there to scream and cry for an hour when I can take 2 seconds to get the blanket straight? Or, another time, she was crying and crying before I realized the bulb went out in the night light. In my opinion, they are usually crying for a legitimate reason. Ignoring that is mean.

Tracy - posted on 05/11/2010

I do, but it really depends on the type of cry, i think you can tell almost instantly on whether or not they will stop and calm themselves.

Victoria - posted on 05/11/2010

I don't see anything wrong with it as long as your child is OK. My sons Dr. told me to let him cry it out when he didn't want to sleep. I just can't do it though, even though I know I should. It just breaks my heart if they cry for more than a few minutes.

Joanna - posted on 05/10/2010

I did it and it worked great for me. When my daughter was just turning 7 months old she was still having to be swaddled to sleep, and would wake up twice in the night... if I tried to put her to sleep unswaddled she'd wake every half hour. So I did CIO AND I quit swaddling her... she cried for 15 minutes and slept the whole night (only woke up once but cried a couple minutes and fell back asleep). The next night she cried for 10 minutes, then slept the whole night. And after that, she didn't cry at all.

So as you can see, it worked great... since then she's always been able to self-soothe and get herself to sleep quickly and easily. And now (she's 2 1/2) if she DOES cry, I know that something's wrong (nightmare, tummyache, etc), instead of crying just to cry.

BUT that's not to say it works for everyone! It is not the best for every person, it doesn't work for some kids or even some parents. You just need to be attuned to your child's cry and know what the cry is for, and check on them frequently (every 10 minutes is usually the guideline). And it's not recommended for children under 6 months, because before that age they just need their parent, it's so young, plus I don't think they understand fully that they even CAN soothe themselves.

Nyssa - posted on 05/10/2010

It depends on what the cry sounds like to me. If it is a frantic cry, that sounds like they won't stop, I'll pick them up and calm them down. If they only cry 5-10 mins I think it's okay.