How do you fix a broken family??

Dina - posted on 03/19/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Me and my baby daddy been goin on for 6 years but we always fight so much and my daughter always get in the middle of it which i hate so much cause all i want is our family to be happy and to just fix things..but every time we take a step forward it takes just one ess up and it takes us back two steps... i get fustrated cause its like he still wanting to be this single man and not have a family life but then wanting to works things and be in our lives.. i dont know how what to feel cause im being the mom and dad.. i know you cant force or push someone to be the parent but im just tired of fighting a battle that is endless..

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Dina - posted on 03/23/2010

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thank you ladies for helping me..i tried everything from help from a third party and it just want do it for him..he would change for a few weeks maybe even days but then it goes around all over again.. i know i need to give myself time away from him but he has no where to go..like literally im his only transportation and holding a shelter over his head..his friends wont let him stay and his parents either..thats why its so hard to make a decision..im trying to do what best for my daughter and for me..but she always wonders where her dads at and always wants him near her..it breaks my hearts to hear that.. im doin the best i can..thank you again ladies for your responses..it means alot to hear from another parents perspective..

Bridgette - posted on 03/22/2010

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You answered your own qestion. You are tired and You know that you can't make him be a parent. Do you and your child. When you have no one ese, you will have her. If you are not happy, she is not happy and that can cause some issues later on in her life. Talk to him and see what he wants. Set some ground rules. After all, you are owed that and you did have his child. Someone has to take lead and the child is the important one and whats best for her.

Teresa - posted on 03/22/2010

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Hi Dina, it sounds like things are very confusing for you and your family right now and you have a lot of dicsions to make, the thing is that you have to decide what is best for you and your daughter right now. It can not be healthy for your little girl to be watching you both in this situation. Have you thought of maybe having a short break from each other and giving you and your daughter some time alone to see how things are/ maybe take a short holiday away and spend some time thinking, this also might give your husban some time to think about what he also wants/ alternatively maybe suggest you both get some proffesional help such as marital counselling? sometimes it helpe to have a third person to talk things over with. This battle that you talk about wont end unless both of you decide on what you want in your life either being together or seperate your daughter deserves to be happy with both parents and she has to be the first consideration in all of this. I hope you find the answer you are looking for and that in time you will get the support you need to get you through this difficult time, good luck and I wish you well.

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Dina honey you can't change other people. You can only do what is best for you and you daughter. I know it is really hard because you want him to do the right thing but you can't make him and you will waste a lot of energy trying. And that energy could be better used building a stable future for you and your daughter.

You already know what you want...you said it. You hate the fighting, you know it is bad for your daughter and you're tired of it. You just need to courage to end it. Break it off. You'll all be better off in the long run. You will be happier, your daughter won't have that as a role model for her future relationships and maybe when he realises what he has lost he will decide that he needs to man up and be a Daddy. He doesn't need to be your partner to be a good Daddy. Do what is right for you.

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