How do you get a 22mth old to go to sleep and stay asleep in his own cot or bed?

Nerissa - posted on 02/14/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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My friends son is put to bed in his cot, he JUMPS out, he is put into a bed where she stays with him until he falls asleep then she goes to bed herself. About midnight he will wake and come into their bed. Attempts to return him to his own cot/bed fail and he remains awake in their bed until falling asleep of exhaustion at around 5am.

His behaviour is putting great strain on the whole family. Can anyone help?

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11 Comments

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Tammy - posted on 02/15/2009

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This is an issue almost all family's face. I'm sure you have got some great suggestions so the only thing I wanted to say is GET IT DONE. My son is 10 and just started sleeping in his own bed about 6-8 months ago. It is a divorced, shared parenting situation and I am ashamed to say he still sleeps in bed with his dad. So no matter what it takes do it now before it's too late.

Diana - posted on 02/15/2009

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one other thing.. with the gate in the doorway if she wakes up in the middle of the night now she sees the gate is closed and she will get a book or a toy and then get back in her bed without calling for me.

Diana - posted on 02/15/2009

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We just went through that very thing with my oldest daughter. Put a child gate in his doorway. He will scream for a couple of nights and then he will test it again. But stay strong.. It is hard. My daughter who is 3 1/2 did that same thing for several months. It was harder on me because I dont like hearing her cry for me. But my husband would keep going in there and after about the 3 or 4 night we dont have the problem any more. Good luck I know what they are going through...

Kimberly - posted on 02/15/2009

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Consistency works for me!!  Making the same routine at night and consistent times always seemed to work!!  Don't know if this will help, but try it!

Catherine - posted on 02/15/2009

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Leave a light on or put something whith your sent on in the bed whith him,

Carlie - posted on 02/15/2009

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i think this is difficult, but best starting a routine asap, dannys been in his own room from 4 months, but since his dad left i feel comforted with him sleepin in my bed when he wont settle, as it seems the easy option, but then they come 2 expect it, like some1 has mentioned they think go on to want 2 sleep with mum n dad 4 years to come! best is to ware him out, taking him out to the park or long walk or even a wacky warehouse wher he can get all his energy out, then when u get home, give him a bath n he should b out 4 the count alot quicker! peaceful night sleep 4 everyone lol! good luck =) xx

Laura - posted on 02/15/2009

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my son is 20 months and i found instead of having him in a cot have him in a single bed and make it exciting for him but dont get him a normal white cot go to toys r us and get him a cars bed and then get matching sheets make bedtime fun for him thats what i did and now my son matthew loves bedtime

Patricia - posted on 02/15/2009

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Quoting Rachel:



When my baby was born I found myself watching a lot of daytime tv, I stumbled across a series called "House of Tiny Tearaways". There were many children that had the sleeping problem, ranging from driving for hours to get the kid to sleep, to the mother sleeping on the floor next to the kids bed to try to get them to sleep in their own beds. They used the rapid return technique a lot. Tuck the child in, read a book (if its part of the bedtime routine), kiss goodnight and leave, if the child gets out of bed, instantly return them without saying a word, and keep doing this. On the show there were kids that they only had to do it a few times for the child to sleep, then the extreme of one little girl needing to be returned over 150 times before falling asleep, then to awake 2 hours later to do it all over again.






The hardest part is not giving in. Giving in to bad habits now will only make them harder to break. Maybe try searching for the tv series online, not only is it helpful, but can give you a few laughs and see how lucky you are with what you have!






 



Just found this one on youtube, i didn't watch it to see what the families needed help with but will give you an idea what the show is about.



 



Hi Rachel!



You are right. WHAT A MAJOR BREAKTHROUGH! These types of shows really help put your mind at ease. I AM GOING TO WATCH SOMETHING TODAY!





 

Rachel - posted on 02/15/2009

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When my baby was born I found myself watching a lot of daytime tv, I stumbled across a series called "House of Tiny Tearaways". There were many children that had the sleeping problem, ranging from driving for hours to get the kid to sleep, to the mother sleeping on the floor next to the kids bed to try to get them to sleep in their own beds. They used the rapid return technique a lot. Tuck the child in, read a book (if its part of the bedtime routine), kiss goodnight and leave, if the child gets out of bed, instantly return them without saying a word, and keep doing this. On the show there were kids that they only had to do it a few times for the child to sleep, then the extreme of one little girl needing to be returned over 150 times before falling asleep, then to awake 2 hours later to do it all over again.



The hardest part is not giving in. Giving in to bad habits now will only make them harder to break. Maybe try searching for the tv series online, not only is it helpful, but can give you a few laughs and see how lucky you are with what you have!





Just found this one on youtube, i didn't watch it to see what the families needed help with but will give you an idea what the show is about.

Jeni - posted on 02/15/2009

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most children need to have routine and it can take a long time to get things right,but you just have to keep at it put the child to bed the same time every night stay to read a story then leave them gradually reduce the time you stay and then as the child gets older you can tell them youll check on them soon that way they are more relaxed knowing your coming back and even if they wait for you then they usually fall asleep waiting. a baby spends nine months with you  so its going to feel the need to be with you thats normal but the child will need to be alone at some point and you have to wean them of you

Mai - posted on 02/14/2009

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Hey Mom, remember that being a Mom means being superwoman but even superheros need rest. Here a a few suggestions, #1 Wear the child out. If a kid is playing alot before his bedtime, he is bound to knock right out when it's time to fall asleep and more than likely won't wake back up.

#2, wish I am sure that you heard of, giving a soothing bath before bed helps and let them play in there..it really sets the body, even for a toddler to a resting state.

#3 be firm, doesn't mean ur not loving. I have heard of children that remain sleeping with the parents or parent 5years and beyond.

#4, whatever you do, my advice: DO NOT FALL ASLEEP NEXT TO HIM/HER. that will only reinforce the idea of sleeping in your bed.

Hope this helps and hope I wasn't too harsh, I did it with my boys, ofcourse they are older now, but well grounded. Best of luck