how do you get a five year old to stop wetting the bed?

Alvina - posted on 01/25/2010 ( 22 moms have responded )

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my son is five and still wets the bed. no matter how many times I get up with him in the night or how ever many conversations we have with him. he still wets the bed. I don't want to put him back in pull ups because to me that's saying its okay to do it cause now we have a diaper on. This summer he wants to go stay with his god parents so he can go see the monster truck raley. I won't let him go if he still wets the bed. that would be imbarassing.

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Andrea - posted on 02/01/2010

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Just make sure it's nothing medical that is causing this. I wet the bed until I was 6 years old and that's when we found out I was born with no sphincter, wasn't able to empty my bladder completely and other bladder issues that led to surgeries. I also was put on medication.

Renee - posted on 02/01/2010

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Sharon is right. My daughter is 10 years old and still needs a good nite. She sleeps right through it and cannot help it. My son with autism has been dry for years. All kids are different and NO amount of threatening will make his body do something it's not ready for. It's not about bribing either. Put something suitable on the child to keep his bed dry, let him develop at his pace.

Sarah - posted on 02/01/2010

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my daughter wet the bed until she was nine and the thing that stopped it eventually, after trying everything, was an osteopath....magic but true. It is something to do with balancing....

[deleted account]

We've raised over 30 foster kids. We've had bed wetting issues. There is something out there we used that was a battery operated star that attached to his under ware. When it sensed moisture, an alarm went off. We had one boy that was 16 before he quite. We've gone to several doctors, had bladder expanded to check capacity, no problem. I don't think there's really anything that works until he is ready. We just made them responsible for washing & drying clothing & sheets and tried not to make a big deal. If he wants to go visit, that's why they make Pullups. He is lucky. When we were going through this, there were only children/adult protection, nothing in between.

Krystal - posted on 02/01/2010

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hi iv already put a post on here but i just wanna say somethin else. the alarm some 1 mentioned in there post. it dont always work, (I kno from experience) its suppost to go off wen you start to leek abit but it never did go off, either that or i never heard it because i am a deep sleeper. but either way it didnt work for me lol. if you do get worried about his bedwettin then it might be worthwhile to go see a doctor just incase, trust me when i say this, if you push him and put pressure on him he will get worse. just be patiant with him. also i just wanna say, you think your embarrest but trust me your son feels embarrest 10 times worse then wat you do. i dont mean to affend in any way, just having gone thru the experience myself i kno how your son feels. :)

Jamie - posted on 02/01/2010

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My cousin's daughter wet the bed until she was 7. They tried limiting liquids after a certain time at night, waking her up to go, night lights in case she was afraid of the dark... she still wet the bed. It wasn't anything they had control over and she wore pull-ups until she could stay dry at night. Eventually, she outgrew it. Be patient! One of these days he'll surpise you both and wake up dry. :o)

Jodi - posted on 02/01/2010

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I understand the single mum mentality Alvina. My son is 12 and I split from his dad when he was only 2, and even though I have been remarried for 6 years now, I still kind of have all the responsibility for him in many ways :)

You're doing a great job!!

Alvina - posted on 02/01/2010

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well when I say my son has over come a lot. I mean he's had a lot of mountains to climb so to speak. one is he is left handed and it makes it more difficult for him to get his school work done. which is another issue for him. They have this dibbles thing in school which require kinder children to learn how to read in kindergarten. When i was in kindergarten all we had to do was say the ABCs and that was it. so the reading thing has been difficult for him. Then of course When I had Jordan I was a single mom. even though I try to be supportive for him I have a tendancy to push a little to hard. I'm married now and have to extra help. but sometimes when it comes to my son I still carry that single mom mentality.

Lori - posted on 02/01/2010

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My son is six years old and still wears a pull-up to bed but my oldest son was day/night trained at the age of 3. Every child is different and I don't get upset over something he can't control while he is sleeping. Some kids take longer than others at night. I can suggest restricting fluids after a certain hour and getting him up before you go to bed but that still may not work. My son wakes up every morning wet so the doctor told me there are alarms you can place on the child so when they start to go they are woken up. I am not that concerned yet and know he will eventually stop wetting but you can't punish him for something he has no control over--remember he is sleeping when this happens.

Krystal - posted on 02/01/2010

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hi i just want to say i wet the bed from the age of 3-16. i had bladder issues and kidney problems. doctors put me on pills, i had test after test after test. i used to get urine infections 5-6 times a week. puttin pullups on him does not automaticly mean he thinks its ok to do it. they r just there for back up. i used them till i was 6 but i had to stop because they wouldnt fit anymore. puttin pressure on him is the worst thing u could do. it is not his fault that he cant controll it properly so please stop makin him feel guilty. yea it might be embarresing for you but how do you think your son feels. do not tell him off for wettin the bed, just say its ok, mummy will deal with it, the less stress you put on him the better he will get. stop all drink after a sertain time, take him to the toilet before bed, then before you go to bed, then durin the night then first thing in the mornin. my mum used to put a waterproof sheet/matress protecter that helps keep the bed clean. durin the day get him to count to five or ten before he goes unless hes desprite. it helps stretch the bladder a bit and helps him hold it. my mum had to wake me up 4 times in the night to take me to the toilet because im a very deep sleeper and always have been. even the feeling of need to go to the toilet did not wake me up. your son needs to know that your gonna be there for him, not get angry and punish him for doing it, do a bed wetting chart, and everytime he doesnt wet the bed reward him with a sticker or toy. its alot for a five year old to deal with, he needs mummys help and support not punishment. good luck and best wishes. :)

April - posted on 02/01/2010

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My daughter wet at night until she was 51/2. She was completely potty trained during the day when she was 2. I never worried for a minute about it neither did her Dr. Some kids are not physically able to be dry through the night until they are older. I never made a big deal about it. She put on her "nighttime panties"(pull-ups) at bedtime and that was that. She eventually was dry in the morning and we retired the "nighttime panties". There is a good reason that companies sell the "Goodnights" it is because many kids need them. Don't think you are the only one who deals with this. Good Luck to you.

[deleted account]

We had the same problem with our oldest daughter until age 7. Our families got fusterated with matresses being ruined and we to were afraid of letting her stay at friends homes for the night. We found that it was a fear of getting out of bed in the dark when no one was awake. We bought her a fun little kids flashlight (Found in the toy dept.) that she kept by her bed and purchased a little light for the bathroom. The flashlight was only to be used for that which made it fun for her. We made a deal with her that if she didnt wet the bed for 2 weeks then she could go stay at a family members home that we had spoke to about the issue or we reward with trips for ice cream or a toy. Slowly the bed wetting stopped within a couple of months. Good Luck!

Iridescent - posted on 01/31/2010

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One of my sons is 8 years old. He still wets the bed at night. We limit his drinking close to bedtime, but it doesn't help a lot. He wears Good Nights pull-ups because we do know he doesn't CHOOSE to do this! What kid would? And we allow him to go to slumber parties with friends, we just pack one for him to wear. Nobody makes a big deal of it. They are his friends. If we didn't send it, he likely wouldn't be asked back! What parent of a friend's would want to clean up another kid's pee? What kid wants to wake up with another kid's pee on them? Seriously, use a pull up.

Next, it's often brain development (which occurs later in boys) that causes bed-wetting. Since he does still wet though at 5 years old, it is time to speak with the pediatrician and make sure his kidneys and bladder are not having other problems, because it can be a symptom of more serious issues.

Stop letting your family be mean to your son for wetting his bed, and you shouldn't either. He has no more control over it than the color of his eyes.

Jodi - posted on 01/31/2010

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Quoting Tracy

I say that we go back to the having a family even though u r on the system topic


What??????

Tracy - posted on 01/31/2010

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I say that we go back to the having a family even though u r on the system topic

Abbie - posted on 01/31/2010

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I agree he can't help it, I believe it was my mom who wet the bed til she was older around 10. Not because she was trying to upset her parents, she just would honestly believe she was on the toliet. She would dream it, and she says how she would remember being so proud she finally made it to the bathroom. Then she would wet the bed. My mom is 63 now and still remember this as if it was yesterday.



Please do not punish him for this, work with him. Wearing pullups to bed is ok. He might just be a hard sleeper, or maybe he dreams he is in the bathroom. Work with him. As far as your family and giving you unhappy looks..........THE HELL WITH THEM. I get so damn sick and tired of people and not approving of kids and things they can't control. I would still let him go to the rally, just send him prepared. Give him time it will come at some point.

Karen - posted on 01/31/2010

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Boys often take longer, but some times it can be low magniusm or even parisites. Try a espon salt bath before bed each night....a cup for about 15min ( don't let any one else use the water as it releases toxins and you dont want some one else to absorb them in ) Also cut out as much sugar, and try going off dairy and wheat for a couple months some times that can help. Good luck Karen

Jodi - posted on 01/31/2010

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That's a much better attitude Alvina!! Don't feel embarrassed. If your family is disgusted, just tell them that 20% of all children are still wetting their beds at that age, and it is actually perfectly normal and they outgrow it when they are ready, thank you very much :)



What did you mean about your son overcoming a lot for a five year old - these things he has had to overcome may be causing a psychological issue that could cause the bedwetting.



Aso, is there someone in the family who wet the bed until they were older (your son's father maybe?), because in many cases it is hereditary, and they tend to outgrow it at the same time. For instance, my hubby was a bedwetter, and his son outgrew it at the same age he did.

Alvina - posted on 01/31/2010

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I try hard not to punish my son for this I realize he's a growing boy and children all grow at different rates. I guess it just bothers me cause most of my family seems to have a disgusted look on their face when I try to talk to them about it. so in turn I get kind of embarrassed. I am however very proud him and try to let him now it every chance I get cause he has overcome a lot for a five year old and is doing things that I never could do at five. I guess should always keep that in mind every time my family gives me that disgusted look and tell them to deal with it.

Jodi - posted on 01/25/2010

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I totally agree with the others, this is NOT your son's fault. You should NEVER punish a child for wetting the bed when they really can't help it. Did you know that 20% of children are still wetting the bed at the age of 5? My step son didn't stop until just recently, and he is 10. Some children just take longer than others to mature enough to be able to either wake up to pee or to hold onto it all night.



This is about your embarrassment. Why are you embarrassed? Because your child isn't perfect? No-ones children are perfect (and if anyone disagrees with this, you are delusional), so what? Just explain to the god parents that he is still wetting the bed and either supply some pull ups, or a waterproof bed sheet, and it won't be an issue.



Honestly, if your son isn't ready to be dry at night (and it sounds like he isn't), all the punishment in the world won't make a difference, so why punish him?

Jolene - posted on 01/25/2010

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I agree it is not something he can control. Unless he is waking up and peeing. But most of the time they are not aware they are going. My nephew wet his bed until he was 12. They tried everything, making him clean up after himself, threatening, grounding, bribery, alarms that would sound and wake him up if he wet. Nothing worked. He just out grew it. He is now a US Marine. They eventually just bought him the depends when he outgrew pull ups. They felt it was a small sacrifice to make to let him keep what little dignity he had left for a little man. Believe me at a certain age they are more embarrassed about it then you can ever imagine. My nephew wanted so bad to sleep over at friends houses but would not because he was embarrassed. They learned to never make a big deal about it.

Another example, one of my day care little 5 1/2 year old girls still wets the bed at night. Her parents wake up every 2 hours to wake her up and take her to the bathroom, she is still wet at some point during the night. But come to find out her father was a bed wetter too. He did until he was also 12. It might be something hereditary.

Sharon - posted on 01/25/2010

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Look.



Its not your son's fault his body isn't mature enough to hold his urine through the night.



Stop punishing him for things he can't control!



if the child needs pullups - he needs pullups. There are plenty of children on this site who have wet the bed until they were 12. I've seen the testimony from a dozen different women to that fact.



Do what you can to help train his body and the rest of it is COPING ON YOUR PART.



Find a way to handle it without punishing your child. This isn't his fault.



And its EMBARRASSING and RALLY

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