HOW DO YOU GET YOUR TEEN AGER TO DECREASE TEXT-MESSAGING EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE UNLIMITED TEXT-MESSAGIN

Jessica - posted on 07/07/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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My son Joshua is 14 years old and constantly text messaging its like an addiction, just this month alone he had 3,044 text messages compared with my 88. I don't know whether I should curtail it, becuase he knows we have unlimited text messaging or should I do something more to get him to understand that his text messaging has become a sort of addiction. Any ideas--I'm open or is this the new era of teenagehood?

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Leigh - posted on 07/08/2009

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Jessica, technology is the way of the future, your son has clicked onto the fact that he can communicate via text. I wouldn't compare how many text's u send to what he does, because we (as in non teens) tend to use text differently to our kids. What else is he doing with his life for you to think this is an addiction? If you want him to change, then be the parent & take the phone off him. My boys are all teens & have their own phones, & have partime jobs that they need to pay for their phones. The only advice I could really give you is to pick your battles. If this is taking over your sons life then do something about it.

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Medic - posted on 10/06/2010

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I guess I can't really give you any advice but to tell you it's not just teens on a regular monthly basis I text atleast 7000 texts if not more. It has just become the way to talk in certain situations. Granted I remember when I was a freshman in highschool and texting first came out on plans we were all over it but it was not as bad as it is now. As far as the comment about phones being anywhere your kids are my house does not have a phone, neither do most of my friends houses, we expect that our babysitters have cells.

Jennifer - posted on 10/06/2010

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I would get a handle on it now. I think all this technological availability is bad for them. They need a layer of insulation between them selves and the world at this age and then they learn to choose when to let it down and when it is safer to keep it up. Remember the old days? When you wanted to be alone you took the phone off the hook. No message machines, no all waiting... you just weren't home. WIth email and texting and voicemail we no longer have the option of being unavailible. I think kids are not learning how to have proper social distances if you know what I am saying.

Heather - posted on 10/06/2010

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I agree with Tiffanie, the phones and computers should not be left or used in Bedrooms. My husband and I even adhere to this, becuase we don't want to be getting emails and texts in the middle of the night. If it is that important they will phone you or come to your door.

Tiffanie - posted on 07/10/2009

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I have a 14 yr old male, along with a 15 yr old. They each have 1000 text's per month. My 14 yr old kept going over 1st by 1200 texts the bill was very high! He was grounded from his phone for a month and paid back only $25.00. Then he went over again and had to pay the $65.00 then again and paid the $75 (All this was his birthday money) He wanted us to get unlimited text, but that would cost an extra $20 a month on the bill per phone. I would not reward him for his lack of self controll or respect for money. I did not want my bill to shoot up an extra $40 by giving both boys unlimited text so the answer was NO. He would text stupid stuff that caused his texting to be so high. (My other son followed the rules) He finally lost his texting (I had it blocked) because he did it again and now is only allowed to make calls and those calls are only to the house, my cell and my husbands cell. I had to pay $15.00 to change his number! He has to learn that there are consequences and that he can not just do what he wants. This has driven me crazy! He since has used his phone to call other people and now is grounded from the house phone, one more problem and the phone is gone for good. He needs to learn a lot of things, he looses money, spends money as fast as he gets it, breaks everything that he gets, ipods, camera's, ear plugs, calculators...it goes on. He does not have respect for his things or our things. He is careless, bottom line you have to keep trying to teach your children the best way that you can and make sure they suffer consequences that you stick with. (Even though it is hard...tough love) I would not have given my son that many chances...that was my husband. :) Anyway, as far as your son. I don't think that is TO many texts cause it is prob. the same thing as my son. Stupid texts like "hey", "what up" "You going out" "Im leavin" "You there" "Im here" "where are you" "I see you"....stuff like that. I tried to tell my son learn some patience, just say going out if you want to go meet me at the park in an hour. Then just go to the park. Anyway, if you lower the text amount be prepared for a big bill since he is used to texting like that. You have unlimited for a reason right, I would not worry about it. I saw on the news that a 13yr old girl had 10,000.00 text in one month!!! THAT is ridiculous! One more thing. We do not allow the phones in our childrens rooms at night for bed, The phones stay plugged in down stairs because they will stay up texting if it is in there room with them at night. That will cut down on some of the texting amounts and your son will get more sleep! :) Good luck! I don't think you should worry though.

Lisa - posted on 07/09/2009

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Hi, I have a 15 yo who constantly texts also. The important thing is that you review what he is texting. We review his texting, and due to his recent behavior on it, he no longer has a cell to text on. You can sometimes review the texts on line, if your phone plan allows it. This new age of texting, im, and chat rooms, has created a sub culture for our kids, and they can often change who they are, and point blank lie. My 15 yo was lying about his age and having sexting with 20+ yo women, which can lead to criminal sexual conduct charges for the adult. To alleviate that the phone is gone.

Lashea - posted on 07/09/2009

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My son is 14 going on 15. He does not have a cell phone. He will not have one until he is at least a senior in high school. My reasons for this is, he should never be in a situation where he needs a phone that isn't already there. If he is at a friends home, they should have a phone. If he is at a school function, a phone is available. I think that too many of our youth think that cell phones are a priority and are beginning to spread the gap that is ever widening in the art of face to face communication. It scares me to know that so many of our children are going beyond the short hand in text messages and are sending private pictures that would make a lot of adults frightened. Take the phone, or set limits. Either way you will have an aggrivated young adult, but you and he will be better for it in the future. You're the parent, you have to teach them limits and boundaries. Good luck, I hope things work out for you.

Liz - posted on 07/09/2009

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I have a 16yo daughter that is exactly the same way! We drew the line when she started texting the whole way through worship at church and took the phone away, which was very difficult and caused some major blow-ups, as the phone has apparently replaced what people of our generation perceive as "normal communication". It probably has a lot to do with our kids' personalities...some kids are more likely to go overboard than others. If your son has healthy attitudes in all other areas of his life (his grades aren't slipping, he is respectful to you, etc.) then I wouldn't worry too much (as maddening as it is anyway!) and just set limits for where/when it isn't appropriate (such as church!) :-}

Candice - posted on 07/07/2009

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uh, take the phone away? make him pay per message? or teach him that there are appropriate and rude times to message and consequences for not respecting those lines.

Heather - posted on 07/07/2009

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I'd cut down on the text messages your plan has. Then if he goes over...make him do some chores to "pay" for what he goes over. (or you can just tell him that you changed the plan, then you wont get charged an arm and a leg for going over :)) My mom had to do the same thing for my brother when he was 15. He went over a few times...but after some hard work to make it up...he soon realized that it was not that important :)

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