How do you make a 10 year old kid mind? Is it too late...

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Kristin - posted on 03/04/2010

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While I haven't got a 10 year old, I have got an obnoxiously quick 5 year old. It is never too late, unless they have reached their majority and moved out. All kids like to have some control over their lives, so at 10 your child should have a good grasp of what your rules are and know what fairness is. Now is a good time to lay out what your expectations are for their behaviour. You can discuss with them what house rules are kind of obsolete and what needs to be put in place. Discussing what punishments should be is also a thought, they will likely lean to the lax but you may be too harsh. Time out is still useful, but should be more a time to calm down and think about what they did that should have been done differently. You are also now in the wonderful stage where they will want to have or do things, feel free to say no if their behavior warrants a revoking of priviledges. Now is a really good time to teach that anything worth having is worth earning.

Basically, this is a good time to lay out how you would like the teen years to go. You don't say if their father is in the picture, but he needs to be on the same page as you.

Also, this child is on the verge of puberty and possibly in the early stages already. Those hormones are going to make them a bit nuts, think about how you were when pegnant, and work to keep the lines of communication open. There will be tears, shouting, and slip ups. Be patient with both your child and yourself. Keep the "I love you's" coming, the hugs too (even if only in private, boys don't seem to want to be seen with let alone showing affection for mum). It will be hard, but be consistent. Good luck to you all.

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Shana - posted on 03/04/2010

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Never sweetie! 10year olds are in the "I don't like things taken away from me stage". If the kid is in Ballet or football. Guess what....I know this is something you love to do and since you don't want to do as I ask....you don't get to go. Don't allow yourself to get bullied by a 10yr old! :)

Iridescent - posted on 03/04/2010

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It's not too late. They're still quite malleable. They are old enough to sit down and agree on rules, chores, and consequences though. Them having input makes a huge difference. With my 10 year old, we sat down and he listed chores he'd like to do regularly (depending what they are, daily or weekly). He knows the rules, nothing new there. And he helped choose the punishment; I asked "if you break this rule, what is a fair punishment? if you don't do this chore, what is a fair punishment?" And he had some answers I hadn't thought of, of things that were important to him. Sometimes they were too lax, sometimes to hard on him, so we did find something we each agreed on.

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