How do you tell your child that her dad wants nothing to do with her?

Carolyn - posted on 07/04/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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What do you tell your child when her dad wants nothing to do with her and she ask you in front of people if she has a dad?

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Jodi - posted on 07/04/2010

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You didn't mention how old your daughter was, but it isn't something to discuss with her in front of any other people. I think you should tell her that, yes, she does have a daddy, but that he wasn't really ready to be a daddy.



Has he ever been in her life, or did he pretty much abandon you guys at birth? I understand it is a tough situation, but you don't necessarily want to make it sound like he just "abandoned" her, rather that it was about him not being ready to be a daddy because it is such a big responsibility he was scared.



I don't agree with cutting him off entirely by telling her the exact truth, they are adult issues she doesn't need to know right now. What if he changes his mind? I know he doesn't really deserve another chance, but your daughter does.

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Michelle - posted on 07/04/2010

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Tell her what is going on! She then can form her own opinion about him. He will suffer in the long run!!!! One day he will want to be in her life and it might be to late for him.

Pip - posted on 07/04/2010

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How do you break a childs heart???? I've got kids who have nothing to do with their Dad, his choice. You tell them he is busy, he's always busy, they don't blame themselves for that. Kids do tend to blame themselves for things that don't go the way they think is right. Eventually they work it out, but you don't break their little hearts by saying that he wants nothing to do with them. After all your the one who has to pick up the pieces if they are devastated, not him, he's gone and who wants to hurt their child affecting their self esteem, nah.... tell a white lie, I did and my kids are ok with it they are 15 and 17 now, their Dad left when they were just 2 and 11 mths but they knew it wasn't their fault cause he was always busy.

Kelina - posted on 07/04/2010

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It depends on how old she is. If she's really little you can tell her of course she has a daddy, but he's away right now. When she's a little older and can understand the concept, let her know that her daddy wasn't ready to be a daddy when she was born. she might ask you when he will be ready, in which case you can tell her you don't know. Good luck!

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