how do yu do it alone

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Dorothy - posted on 01/12/2010

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ps i survived and my son is 18 next month i give pat on back for this all alone acomplishment friends do help

Dorothy - posted on 01/12/2010

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god gave all us mommies more patience than daddys cause we do it all but the secret is family helps and we have awesome friends to help with daycare too dont be scared to ask for help from loved ones their a real blessing good luck and remember to make time for you too.

Amy - posted on 01/12/2010

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i am not in a situation like this...but i grew up in one. my mom had me when she was 16 and my brother when she was 20...im 30 years old now. we both have the same father but he is absolutely useless and always has been. i remember seeing my mom struggle to feed, and clothe us and pay the bills...i remember seeing her cry sometimes and i knew why..she has made me the person i am today.and i consider myself a strong, capable woman. there would be some nights we wouldnt see her because she was working just to make ends meat..but she did her best and i love her for it. you find ways to make it through and dont ever think that your kids dont love you for what you can do, i know when i was younger i wasnt able to appreciate it because you see the other kids with things that you want but know you cant have them (a kid doesnt know any better) but i know now the struggels and sacrifices she made and i love her with all my heart and today i am the mother of a beautiful 6 month old baby girl and am the mother i am now because of her...YOU CAN DO IT...no matter what just keep telling yourself that. i know that kids should have a mother and father in their lives...but honestly i am better off for not having him in my life

Sharon - posted on 01/12/2010

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You suck it up and shove onward.



You look forward to the day when you will be able to have a little bit of breathing space.



you take joy in the little things and just shove and push your way through the crappy stuff.

Melissa - posted on 01/12/2010

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I am divorced and have three children, their father sees them when it is convienent for him. I work two part time jobs (6 sometimes 7 days a week) My younger two children are ADHD and are having problems at school. I take everything day by day! Financially I am not able to make ends meet, even with two jobs. Luckily I have a wonderful landlord that takes what I can give him everyother week and lets me get caught up at tax time. The father also pays support, when it is convienent for him! Just take everything one day at a time, let people that want to be there for you..be there! Try as much as you can to take time for you..a nice hot bath, a night out with friends, just relax and read a book. Don't think you can't do it on your own, cause you can! Sometimes it is best for you and the children that you do!! Good Luck and take care of you and your child!!

Rosie - posted on 01/12/2010

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good support from family and friends. i was a single mother with my first one and i felt so alone and so hurt and abandoned, i had no clue how somebody could just leave their child and not give two shits either way. and to be honest with u it still boggles my mind, and my son is 9 now. i know that i had to take care of myself and my boy and if that meant giving up alot of stuff, then i had to do it. i worked full time, but i used state programs to help pay for his medical bills, and was on wic for formula to save some money. you have to realize that u are the only one responsible for your baby, and you do whatever u have to, to make it.

i wasn't a teenager, i was 21, but i joined young parents network-i don't know if it's called something different where u are, but it helped alot. it gave me a chance to talke to others in the same situation and gave me a little break once a week from my baby, for an hour. just know that you are not alone, and being a single mother isn't horrible. i used to think it was, but i realize now that i am so proud of what i accomplished all by myself and i have so much respect for anyone who does it on their own as well.

Jan - posted on 01/12/2010

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Hi Kelly. I saw your post. I don't know the background to your post but here is what I know: I lost my husband 8 years ago when my children were 9 and 3. I didn't know how I would get through it. So what I focused on was putting one foot in front of the other, one little step at a time so I would keep moving forward and not look back. I shopped for clothes at thrift stores to save money. I reached out to people to watch the kids on occassion to give me a break. I cooked meals in the slow cooker so dinner would be done when I got home. Some days, I put the kids in bed and had a good cry. I found a friend who kids went to the same daycare as my 3 year old so we started carpooling and trading babysitting for each other. Sometimes looking out to far in the future is too overwhelming. Sometimes I could only figure out how I was going to make it through the next hour or minute. Some days I just crawled into bed with my kids and ate popcorn for dinner :) Most important is that you need to take care of yourself so that you can take care of your kids. Even though we don't know each other, we are moms and we share more than we know. Be kind to yourself.

Klarissa - posted on 01/12/2010

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Kelly,

You will find the strength in your family and your friends, I agree with Jennifer, find people that you can talk to and that will be there to support you through it. I have found that God has a plan for everyone, and you will find the peace and comfort once your little one is here. I will keep you in my prayers.

Jennifer - posted on 01/12/2010

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Patience and reach out to people that you trust and know to give you a break every once in a while. It may be a small group, but it is something. If you mean finances, shop smart. Thrift stores and tag sales and clearence. Buy for the next few sizes and next seasons. They will grow into it quicker than you know. Find people to talk to. Even just to vent. It helps.

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