How does Broken Family affects a child?

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A broken home affects different children in different ways. Some cope well and others don't. My parents divorced when I was 13 years old and it affected me badly. I had severe depression on and off from the ages of 13-17 and I attempted suicide 3 times. I'm through all that and I'm much stronger for it. But whilst it affects the children it affects them more if you stay in a relationship where there is no love, violence etc.

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Ronnie - posted on 02/19/2010

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I have been married for 3 years in March, but separated for 6 months with no hope of reconciliation. When I moved out I of course took our 8 month old son with me. His father works 10-12 hours a day, 6 days a week. For the first 2 weeks that we were gone, XAVIER was very fussy and crying a lot and very very clingy to me. After that 2nd week I took him to his daddy and let him spend the night. The next day when I got him back, he was fine. PERFECTLY FIXED! ALL HE NEEDED WAS HIS DADDY. It hurt my feelings a little but I had to think about my son, not myself. So, I began doing this. It never occurred to me that since his father usually got up with him in the middle of the night- because I had him all day long by myself- he would really miss his dad. I assumed that since he didn't see him very much anyways that he'd never notice the difference. Boy was I WRONG! Juan had been getting up with Xavier(my son) every night since he was 4 months old. Xavier was 8 months old when we split up so it was 4 months of daddy at night and then all of a sudden, no daddy! LOL. Quite a shock. No wonder he was so clingy!!
Anyways, I know it sounds crazy but I wanted what was best for my son. I wasn't about to give him up, so I would take him over to his daddy's house-across town-every night between 9:30pm and 11:00pm depending on when his dad go home that day. I would let him stay the night with his dad and then I would go back and pick him up at 9am every morning, 6 days a week. Since Wednesdays are Juan's day off, I would drop the baby off on Tuesday nights and pick him up Thursday mornings. It gave me a little break and it gave the baby time with his daddy. I know many of you think I'm crazy, but I didn't work at the time, I went to college online, and when we first separated, I absolutely could not stand to hear my son cry for one more second.I swear he cried for 2 weeks straight. He was emotional like PMS and every thing made him cry like his little heart was broken to pieces- and he was only 8 months old!
We still have this arrangement but since my car broke down, his daddy comes to get him every night on his way home from work and drops him off every morning on his way to work. I know many people don't have the schedule for this but if you do, you should try it. It's stressful and tiresome sometimes, but it was exactly what my son needed AND it gives me a weekly break to get other things done.

Lyndsay - posted on 02/19/2010

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As in, getting a divorce? It is devastating at the time, but it is also a rather common thing these days and so children can lean on eachother for support. In many cases I think it is better to end a relationship if it needs to be. Living in a severely dysfunctional home (abuse, neglect, constant fighting, belittling, etc.) is far more damaging than a divorce.

Bella - posted on 02/19/2010

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My kids 17 and 13 are affected by our stupid, inconsiderate choices and decisions. Now our kids struggle to live a normal life with two sets of parents, two different life styles, two different sets of values and rules and live with each set of parents (2 years each ) till now and the contstant changes are very challenging for them. I see them torn about their future living arrangemets; they say they want to live in the middle of both cities so we can all meet have way and so no one gets hurt that they reside closer to one that the other. Now that i see this and live it for my self......its so so heart breaking to see the outcome of two selfish un considerate people. we have ALL learned to adjust and live this unconventional life. Its normal life issues to us but it should never have been!

Missy - posted on 02/19/2010

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My parents divorced when I was 7 and I really was quite happy when it happen because my parents fought ugly:( however, my dad was always coming during the week just to get a glimpse of us, and we went every other weekend with him....that wasn't so bad because our dad really wanted to be there.But I know that my story is not what happens to others....I have 5 kids not all from the same dad. My kids have had a lot of up & downs but I always let them know that I would always be stable!! Always calm and cool:) Bottom line just love your children unconditionally and they will know that no matter what happens with their other parent that you love them always. Another thing is to put your child into sports, that can bring out parents to be really proud of thheir child accomplihments:)

Iridescent - posted on 02/18/2010

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We discussed it early on - either the other parents involved would BE involved, or they would not. I refused to tolerate any gray area. So at that point, they wanted no contact with the one in question, so now she's nearly 3 years old and knows my husband as "dad". She is so loved it isn't funny, and doesn't know the difference. She does have contact with her biological father's siblings and parents, so the loss is just HIS. When she's older we'll explain it more, but it's very nice that she doesn't have the stress of someone pretending to care.

Our twins' mother claimed to want to be involved, but when it came down to it she isn't. She called last about a month ago, and has only seen them a handful of times in the past year (all of which WE brought them to, 3 hours one way, and she ditched the kids after a matter of ~2 hours each time). The last time she called to talk to the twins, she was calling herself "mommy" and the twins were looking for me. They don't know her anymore, but the choice was her own. She has visitation rights, but chooses not to use them. Again, they have contact with the rest of her family as well as the two half-siblings they have via her which she no longer has parental rights to.

The kids are all happy. They are in a stable home, have a mommy and a daddy that love them. In fact, the girls were fighting the other day, saying "My Mommy!" "No, MY Mommy!" about me. That's enough.

When I was 7 my parents got divorced. It was quite nasty and after years of fighting we asked them to stop. We ended up in an abusive home counting the days until we were free. But that was more bearable than the fighting! And because of it, we will NEVER allow that for our children.

Nikki - posted on 02/18/2010

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my 1st son is from a previous relationship, and his 'dad' has been trying to prove for the last 3 years that hes a 'fit' father and is 'there' for his son.. well thats not the case at all. sometimes he goes weeks without seeing my son and if its been more than a week, my son gets really upset and cries for his dad. i personally am sick of this and am now making the choice not to let my son see him any more. its hard to explain to a 3yo that 'dad' is too 'busy' to have you and spend time with you. i guess my point is that not all broken familys work and sometimes you need to do what is best for your child to protect them from getting hurt. good luck though

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