How in the world do I get my 10 month old to stop biting me?

Mandy - posted on 08/19/2010 ( 100 moms have responded )

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She is 10 months old today and has 8 teeth. She has been biting me and only me for like 3 weeks now. Thank god she isn't biting other people but my goodness those little teeth are sharp. Please help!!

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Jodi - posted on 08/20/2010

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Try this group for some solutions Mandy. You may find some good feedback there.

http://www.circleofmoms.com/positive-beh...

But honestly, the frozen yoghurt is positive reinforcement, for which she will learn that the behaviour is acceptable. You are wanting her to learn that the behaviour is unacceptable, so the only behaviour that should be positively reinforced is the behaviour you WANT. If she is biting, I agree with the suggestion that you firmly tell her no and remove her from the situation (in this case, you need to put her down and walk away from her for a bit so she gets the message). She will eventually stop, but it is important that you are consistent. if she has only been doing this for three weeks, and you say you have tried everything, then in 3 weeks, you can't possibly have been sufficiently consistent with everything for the discipline to have taken effect. I think you need to just be a little more patient and be absolutely consistent in how you deal with it.

Christie - posted on 08/19/2010

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this is what i did i dunno if u have heard of the trix yorgart that come with the lil sticks u can put in them and freeze but if u havent u can get the baby yorgart or any and put a baby spoon in is so its esasy for ur baby girl to hold and freeze it and once she starts biting or fussing place her in her high chair and let her chew on it promise you t helps :-)

Jodi - posted on 08/19/2010

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I guess I'm a little confused as to how giving her something she loves every time she starts biting is going to fix the issue......would she start associating the biting with the yoghurt thing she loves? Its great that it stops her biting in the short term, but in the long term?



Think about it. Intially, she was biting to get a reaction. "Ouch" is the reaction. Now she is still biting for a reaction. Getting a frozen yoghurt is the reaction. I don't see that this is going to stop the biting. Just my opinion though.

Charlie - posted on 08/21/2010

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Biting back is a terrible idea we are meant to teach by example after all we are the adults .

Infants and children do annoying things, so plan to spend time and energy correcting these behaviors in your child or at least modifying them to be less annoying. In handling any undesirable behavior in a child, consider these general strategies:

* Track the trigger. Get inside your child's mind and figure out why she is doing what she is doing. What sets her up for mischief? Is there a pattern to the misconduct? Is she tired, bored, hungry, overloaded, or in the wrong place at the wrong age and time (for example, a toddler in a department store at suppertime)? By discovering what's behind the behavior you'll be better able to avoid it.
* Reinforce the positive. Young children don't know a behavior is "good" or "bad" until you tell them. When they get a positive response, they are motivated to continue the behavior. When they repeatedly get a negative response, they drop it (unless the negative response is seen by them as positive, i.e., someone paid attention). This is why it's important to correct undesirable behaviors early, as soon as the child is old enough to behave appropriately. Otherwise, these behaviors become part of a child's way of acting and are much more difficult to change.

Bites should be corrected, before serious harm is done to bodies and to relationships.

Understand why babies bite . Don't take it personally. Babies do bite the hands (and the nipples) that feed them. Everything babies do revolves around their hands and mouth. The hands and teeth are their first social tools, and they learn how to use them from the responses they get. As soon as teeth erupt and hands flap, babies experiment and use these instruments on different objects to see how it feels. What could be more familiar and available then parents' skin? Baby's job is to use these tools; your job is to teach him how. These early nips and slaps, as awful as they look and feel, are playful communications, not aggressive, disrespectful conduct.

Don't bite back. "But the child needs to learn that biting hurts," you may reason. Yes, but there's no way your child will decide that she shouldn't bite if you bite. Try this alternative tooth-for-tooth method: Take your child aside and ask her to let you show her how teeth feel on skin. Press your child's forearm against her upper teeth as if she were biting herself, not in an angry revengeful way, but as a parent making a point, "See, biting hurts!" Give this lesson immediately after he bites you or someone else. You want your child to learn to be sensitive to how others feel – an early lesson in empathy.

Tah - posted on 08/22/2010

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DID SOMEONE REALLY SAY PUT CHILI IN THE BABY'S MOUTH AND LET IT BURN HER....i am confused as to why we are biting a 10 month old..has someone considered she may be getting teeth...i try not to be judgemental about the way people raise and treat their children..i mean people are that way with me..i spank if time out isn't working and its something that can hurt them...but i am not popping my 10 month old in the mouth, i am not biting them when they probably need a teething ring or a popsicle and i am not going to have my husband whip up his 3 alarm chili so i can throw it in her mouth and watch her burn and anyone who does needs help...yeah i said it...

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Dana - posted on 08/25/2010

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Thanks for replying, Ladies. Since this thread has come full circle, we're going to close it down. ~Dana WtCoM moderator

Danyell - posted on 08/25/2010

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When my kids use to bite I would tell them NoNo bite. That just became a game to them. So then I would tell them "If you bite I will bite back." So the next time they bit I bit them back, not hard but just enough for them to know that it hurts. After a few times they realised that It wasn't a good thing. I know it sounds harsh. Some would say it is cruel. It might be, but it worked.

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my son did that too (only me) when he was a toddler, i tried everything from saying no firmly to time out/standing in corner, etc. what worked for me was to bite him back, yes i bit him, not to hurt him, so not hard but just hard enough to make him uncomfortable with it and not make it fun, he had an odd and sad look on his face when he covered his arm afterwards, i then asked him if it hurt him, and when he nodded i told him when you bite me it hurts me too, and told him never to bite anyone again and i wouldn't bite anyone too because we dont want to hurt people right? he nodded and never did again, some kids this doesn't work on but when it does work, it works really well. I think its because he realizes it causes pain and isnt funny when he gets it. up to you if you try it, remember to be careful not to be hard, you can easily bite harder then you think.

Megan - posted on 08/25/2010

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Honestly, as harsh as it sounds, I agree with Kristen Taylor. We had to do that with my son, who also got his teeth a little early. Don't get me wrong... like Kristen, we only nipped at him enough to get his attention, but he got the concept quickly.

Kirsten - posted on 08/25/2010

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Bite her back! My daughter bit me once at about that age, I bit her right back and she has never done it to anyone else again. If you bite back just hard enough to get their attention they realize it hurts and won't keep doing it. This is the only thing I have ever seen work.

Heather - posted on 08/25/2010

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I hate to say it, but bite her back. Tell her no biting mommy and that it hurts. Or try letting out a loud OUCH! try different things to get her attention to make her stop what she's doing. Then kindly remove her away from you, maybe a baby time out in the pack and play for a few minutes. Sometimes that works.

Sjahrne - posted on 08/25/2010

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Babies dont have to be teething to bite. Some babies pick it up from other babies, and like to bite just for the reaction. What do you do when a full mouth of teeth is leaving marks in the skin?

Tiffany - posted on 08/25/2010

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Honestly!!! When my oldest went through the biting stage I bought a Pee Wee Football mouth piece from Wal-Mart and made a necklace for her and with the mouth piece. I then made it like a game that she was to bite on the mouth piece and not me. It took a little bit to get used to but it finally worked. Hope this helps

Rhonda - posted on 08/25/2010

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Well old school (and it has always worked) is bite back, just hard enough so she knows it is uncomfortable. It may take a few times but she will understand that she is causing pain when she bites.

Foster -N- Shae - posted on 08/25/2010

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ok well I hope noone takes this the wrong way but when my daughter bit me I bit her back and it stoped right then and there

Cathy - posted on 08/25/2010

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Isn't the frozen yogurt a redirect? Not everything negative has to have punishment or consequence. I believe babies/toddlers bite because they're teething, and biting helps with pain relief. Frozen yogurt, fruits, etc. gave comfort to my daughter and the biting stopped.

If my daughter cried (instead of biting) because her teeth/gums were hurting, I would try to comfort her. On that logic, hugging my daughter for crying would be a treat and reinforce the crying behavior???

Does this make sense?

Kristen - posted on 08/25/2010

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yea i was going to say biter her back just as hard as she would to you, thats what ,my mom did with my sister ages ago, and now her daughter is doing the same. but yea say no biting firmly show her nicer ways to commuticate with you, like a kissing game, my son does this with his rubber duckies, and all his toys with faces. pretty much show her how to kiss nicely and friendly to her fave toy,"monkey see monkey do." and there will be a attitude adjustment with in a week.

Marie Jayne - posted on 08/25/2010

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I agree with Jodi, by giving her frozen yogurt it tells the LO if they bite they'll get a treat

Brittiany - posted on 08/25/2010

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my daughter is 2yrs now.. she bit me one time when she was a little over a yr old.. & i just bit her back.. not hard, but enough to let her know that it hurts & then i explained to her that she hurt mommy & it wasnt nice at all.. (i try to always explain to her why she got in trouble).. shes never bit me since & never bit anyone else either

Pam - posted on 08/25/2010

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My son got his teeth early and only seemed to bite when he was getting new teeth. The frozen yogurt is not reinforcement for bad behavior in this case. It is soothing the sore gums. If she is not biting on toys or other things it may be about the attention and not the teeth.

Tonya - posted on 08/25/2010

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oki know it sounds hash but my son had the same problem and then he started biting others when he finally drew blood on his half sister i went to my last resort i put hot sauce on my finger and let him bite me it stopped after the second time of him biting me with hot sauce on my finger just have a glass of milk ready to take the sting away and i know it sounds mean but it is better than being sued by someones parent.

Tessa - posted on 08/25/2010

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Bite him back!! He does not understand that that hurts. If you bite him back he will see that it hurts and for some it stops that but for others they have to be bit every time they bite someone, I have 2 boys and both did it. It works.

Sharen - posted on 08/25/2010

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Mom's it's not aggression, it's teething. She is only trying to sooth her mouth. Give her a wet wash cloth, clean rubber toy, teething ring, or teething biscuit.

Nola - posted on 08/25/2010

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Bite her back. Not hard, but hard enough to get her attention. Then ask her if she liked it. She will say no. Then explain to her that that is how you feel when she bites you. She will think about it and hopefully stop. Good Luck! It worked with my kids and my grandson.

Wendy - posted on 08/25/2010

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My son did the same thing and someone told me to "train him just like a puppy"!!! When he bit me, I would say "Ow" and cry a little and say that he hurt mommy. That worked for us so you might give it a try. He later started biting kids at church so we had to bite him back [he was three then] and that worked too. I hated doing it but nothing else worked. Blessings to you and your family!

Suzie - posted on 08/25/2010

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i do not have a child that bites but i have the child that has been bit over and over by one child this had been going on for over a year no matter what the other Mom did (also she is the daycare provider one day she came home with three bites and my husband lost it he told her to punch him if he did it agin which is not okay as they are two and three i let the day care provider know what was said and to keep an eye out for it he bit her and so she told My sweet heart to go ahead and punch him she has not been bit by him from there on out.

Jeni - posted on 08/25/2010

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The kid is 10 months people! I don't think its out of anger or anything... she's still in her oral fixation stage, and her molars are gonna start coming in... its rough, and mommy biting her back is going to just confuse and upset her.
There are better ways to teach.

Jeni - posted on 08/25/2010

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Take your finger or whatever out of her mouth and replace it with something you'd LIKE her to be chewing on. We would always wet the corner of a washcloth, twist it, then freeze it. Worked great.

Michelle - posted on 08/25/2010

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When all has failed,....and I hesitate to look evil here, but...bite the baby's arm right back immediately. This is the "Pavlov" way. The baby will learn when she does bite you, it's going to hurt HER!

I babysat for 8 yrs, raised 3 children and had to fall back on this method with my own child, and it was the only thing that worked and it was my last, frustrating effort! Of course I was against it and tried all the things listed here by the other moms, but none of those methods EVER worked.

Don't bring blood or bruises for goodness sakes, but my Grandma's advice was what it took. I had a biter that went on for a yr and all it took was ONE bite back and the shock of it stopped this child permanently! Good luck. I am sorry if this offends anyone, but it is only advice!

Valerie - posted on 08/25/2010

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I absolutely hate biting in children. It's a bad habit that I think is caused because they are frustrated and that's the only thing they can think of to do to get back at someone. Two of my four children were biters, both started when I was nursing them. (ouch) Those new little teeth are SHARP! My doctor told me to pull them off and flip their lip to teach them not to do it. It cured both babies from biting. Then one of them started biting again when she was about 2 1/2 or 3 years old. I tried everything to keep her from doing it. It was so embarassing when she'd bite someone she was playing with. She also bit her brother and sister. Finally after calming down her younger sister who was screetching from being bit I reached over and took my daughters arm and bit her litely on the fat part of her arm by her elbow. All I did was put pressure down on her arm with my teeth but she was totally shocked and started crying because her Mom had bit her. I explalined that everytime she bit someone I was going to bite her back so she'd know how it felt. She bit her brother one more time, I bit her again and she never did it again after that. Up until then I had tried everything I could think of to get her to stop but I think it was just a bad habit.

Steffi - posted on 08/25/2010

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OMG, do NOT bite her or scratch her or anything like that. That's like telling your teenager not to fucking cuss. Effective or not, it's not the proper way to parent. And, I'm not all about the talking to them and doing the time out and safe seat crap. I'm not saying that we don't be in control and that we don't even spank our children (blatant disobedience and emminent danger are the only two times for us). But, we don't "get back at 'em" like that. That is just ridiculous. And, let's not all forget she is TEN MONTHS OLD. It's not like she is 6 years old and you are trying to teach her a lesson!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Susan - posted on 08/25/2010

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Bite her back. I know it sounds like an awful thing to do, but she"ll learn real quick that that DOES hurt and she'll stop doing it to you. I f you just cant bring yourself to actually bite her,just try a sharp little pinch with the fingernails. I have found that to be as effective. Be brave! You won't scar her for life...chances are, she won't even remember it!!!

Steffi - posted on 08/25/2010

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I doubt she is old enough to be doing it maliciously, she is probably just teething or thinks it feels good. Try giving her twizzlers. They are too big and thick for her to break them off and get choked on, my nephews knawed on them all the time. . .obviously stay close to her. Another thing that is good is try putting a wet washcloth in the freezer then letting her go at it. Good luck!

Jennifer - posted on 08/25/2010

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This was probably not the best way to go about it, but the first time my son bit me (it was while he was nursing) it shocked me so badly that I screamed out in pain. He was terrified, cried, and never did it again. I felt terrible for scaring him, but was glad it didn't happen again too.

Tonya - posted on 08/25/2010

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I asked my doctor about this yesterday becasue my 10 month old is doing it also! She said every time it happens to make a mean face and say"NO" really loudly, then to put the child down and walk away/turn your back onher, etc. My husband was at the appointment also and she told him that it was important for him to make a big deal about caring for me by saying "Poor Mommy - or Don't hurt Mommy", but to ignore the child completely. the only person who gets the attention is the victim. I have told my othe 4 children how to handle this if she does it to one of them - but it's only me that she's biting. : (

Jan - posted on 08/24/2010

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I have had 6 babies of my own and hundreds of foster babies over the years. In all cases the biters were told firmly "uh uh NO" with my finger pointed upward infront of the face. It worked very well and they soon stopped.

Sarah - posted on 08/24/2010

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My 14 month old did the same. Every time she bit me I said "no! kiss! kiss!" so then it turned into her biting me and then kissing where she bit (still painful, but kind of funny). Now, I can usually tell when she is planning to bite, so if I tell her "kiss" fast enough, she only kisses. When she only kisses, I make a big fuss over it, and give her lots of kisses. It took some effort, but it works for us.

Janell - posted on 08/24/2010

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My daughter did the same thing to me! I have read that you should take her hand and kiss it, but I've tried it, didn't work. I started to ignore it and it eventually worked!! Good luck!!

Esther - posted on 08/24/2010

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I'm amazed by all the people out there that think that by 'biting back' we mean to cause pain. Of course I believe people should try other alternatives first, but if they don't work this is definitely an option that works with out 'traumatizing' the child. For young children that don't have the ability to logically think through cause and effect this definitely teaches them that it is not a 'nice' thing to do. I also don't believe in spanking to stop misbehaviour. But in situations where it would be more dangerous to just 'say no' and hope they listen, I'd rather give a tap on the bottom to make sure they know not to do something. My son use to be an escape artist that would bee-line it towards roads at any opportunity (not from lack of watching out for him, just had to turn head for a second and he was gone). Would it have been better to let him be hit by a car than get a smack on the bottom, which cured him of this? In the same way, would you rather let the child end up in an uncontrolled situation where they bit another child and the other child retaliated and drew blood? I've seen this happen before. I think a parent carefully showing their child 'how biting feels' is a better alternative.

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Well you tell her no sharply every time she does it and don't crumble when she cries. (manipulation at it's best)
If that doesn't work bit her back. not hard but hard enough to get her attention.

good luck and god bless

Tara - posted on 08/24/2010

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Don't bite your children people.
This is wrong and even if it works we are adults, and there is always another way. Please don't reduce yourselves to acting like small children. Two wrongs don't make a right. We teach children we don't hurt them. We show them what empathy is and we lead by example in all we do.
Biting is not an acceptable form of parenting. It's taking the easy way out, the one that does not involve much thought or consideration.

Linda - posted on 08/24/2010

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bite her/him back - not hard, just enough so they know it's not a nice feeling!

Amber - posted on 08/24/2010

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Every time she bits you say ouch and pretend to cry. than if tat don't work try bittin her back gently and say ouch to let her know it hurts. than if that dont work smack her hand and say no. my husband taps my boys on the head and says no

Morgan - posted on 08/24/2010

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My dd has no teeth lol lucky me, but I cant ever in a million years picture my self biting my daughter!!
thats the same as hitting you child and saying we dont hit, it makes no sense and its cruel.
tell her NO and remove her from the situation.
I ran a dauhome and had a biter, No was not working so I set up a playpen and every time he bit I said we dont bite and stuck him in there where he could see the other kids enjoing themselfs he got the point after a few go's :)

Murina - posted on 08/24/2010

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u have to gently squeeze her nose, then she will stop after a few times........hope it works with her......

Esther - posted on 08/24/2010

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All 3 of my children went through this phaze. With each one I tried a bunch of different techniques, which didn't work, and as a last resort did the 'biting them back'. Not enough to draw blood or bruise (obviously) but enough that it hurt them. And then explained that since it hurt when I did it to them, that was also how it hurt when they bit me. All it took was one time and none of them ever bit me or anyone else again. Seems harsh, but it definitely shows cause and effect, which young children only understand on a basic level.

Cassandra - posted on 08/24/2010

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I heard its good to make a sound, a yelp, to show her it hurts you. Be real, just like you would with anyone else who bit you! ;)

Rachel - posted on 08/24/2010

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Oddly enough, even though the most logical advice is to not react so it won't become a game, what worked for my son was totally the opposite. He had a habit of snapping my nipple before his teeth came in, which was uncomfortable but not painful so I could ignore it. I was the first to discover his first tooth! It was so painful I actually YELPed; a reaction that startled him into crying, rather than laughter. A short cuddle stopped the crying, but only a few yelps made him realize that he was hurting Mommy, and he stopped biting within a week.

Krista - posted on 08/24/2010

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For pete's sake, I can't believe that people are honestly suggesting that it's a good idea to bite a baby.

If she socked you in the face with her chubby little fist, would you clock her one to "show her how it feels?" Come on, now. Seriously.

When she bites you, you say "We don't bite" and you put her down and you turn your back on her and ignore her for a few moments. It'll take some time, but she'll eventually get the picture.

Jennie - posted on 08/24/2010

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At 10 months they think its fun but simply put you have to bite back it will show her that it hurts after 2 or 3 times she will clue in!

Sarah - posted on 08/24/2010

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I like Lydea's advice for rewarding with special attention or none at all. I think I'll use the same technique the next time my 9 mo old slaps/scratches me. My 4yo is not so lucky he's got tiny scratch marks all over his face now! I think it's because he gets too close to her face and it started out as her way to defend herself...

Dana - posted on 08/23/2010

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And again, yes it worked for YOUR child (Debbie), doesn't mean it will work for all children. I personally still maintain that it's cruel to purposely hurt your child.

Jodi - posted on 08/23/2010

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So just out of interest, Debbie, what do you do with your daycare children when they bite?

Dana - posted on 08/23/2010

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I have to say, if you want to teach your child to stop doing something, why would you do it to them? Yes, some kids might get hurt by it, (why would you want to hurt your child) but, some kids aren't bothered by it so now you're just making a game out of it.

It's like when people use the oxymoron of hitting your child because they hit you, it doesn't work.

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