how long wud u leave it befor the nxt baby

Samantha - posted on 01/06/2010 ( 91 moms have responded )

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i had my little girl in october but am already wanting another how long would you leave it?

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Jennifer - posted on 01/18/2010

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Hi Samantha!

In more primitive cultures around the world (where they are more in touch with the natural rhythms of their bodies), spacing children at least 3 years apart is very common. This practice is upheld by lots of scientific literature on the subject.

This gives your body time to recuperate and build up nutritional reserves for another pregnancy. It gives the baby the best possible start in life, and since how you take care of yourself is crucial to the future health of your baby, it's something to consider.

I know about this from the other side of the coin. I had 4 babies very close together. The first two were (and still are) very healthy. I was very careful about moderate exercise, getting proper sleep, eating well and avoiding processed food, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, etc. I had a very balanced diet with lots of fresh produce, dairy, whole grains and healthy meats.

Even so, my next 2 had, and continue to have health issues that the first 2 never experienced. We dealt with asthma, digestive issues, liver problems, etc. If someone had told me the scientific reasons for spacing, things might have been different for them.

Some of your longing for another one could simply be the effects of hormones that are flooding your body right now. Are you nursing? Sometimes (but not always) nursing moms are less likely to feel the need to have another right away. When you don't nurse, your body may be thinking something happened to the first one, and it thinks it needs to have another to replace the lost one and complete the pregnancy/nursing cycle. Just a thought.

In any case, enjoy your new baby! What a blessing they are!

Mia - posted on 01/13/2010

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There are some good replies here. I can certainly see both sides of waiting and or doing what you want. That being said, I think you need to look a little further inward and ask yourself what exactly it is you want? Do you just miss being pregnant or is it really that you truly desire another baby because you want your children closer together? I think that making such a decision before you body has really come off the hormones that are still running amok in your system merits a little more time. Again everyone is different, I'm the oldest of 5 and the average is 3 years apart. I am just as close to my youngest sibling who is 13 years behind me as my sister who is 3 years behind me. I was able to help my mom alot with my siblings, and having done so waited until I was 33 to have my daughter. She's an only child, not by our own choosing, and even though I had a difficult pregnancy...I loved being pregnant and would have happily done so again if I could have. But, whatever your decision I would definitely check with your doctor and discuss not only your body's ability but your mental well being, hormones, etc. Good luck!

Terra - posted on 01/06/2010

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At least 2 years. That way you have time to bond with your daughter and are not finding yourself pulled between 2 very young infants. Also honestly not my business but can you afford 2 in diapers, formula,clothes etc..? Be fair to the daughter you have and give her the time she needs with you.

Erica - posted on 01/06/2010

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For me personally, I would wait at least a year. But then I know moms who loved having babies back to back. I guess it's whatever you prefer and know that you can handle. Best of luck!!

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Cynthia - posted on 01/18/2010

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my kids are 6(boy) 5 ( girl)



my son was 3 weeks old when we started trying for the 2nd one. My son was 7 months old when i got pregnant so they are 15.5 months apart. i had both by c-section. i wish they had been spaced a little further apart because they fight like cats and dogs (LOL!!) but all brothers and sisters fight.

Victoria - posted on 01/18/2010

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it is really up to you. do you want to have all your kids at once so they are all out of diapers and heading to school within years of each other, or space it out a little bit. i have almost 6 yrs between my two. i had mommy baby time with my oldest, and when my baby was born my oldest was in school so i have that time of the day to have mommy baby time again. but my oldest can help. and that is the way i like it, but i have friends that there in 11 months between 2 of her kids, and she does a great job!! so it is up to you, can you handle it. can you afford buying diapers formula and baby food for 2? only you can answer those!!!

Dulcie - posted on 01/18/2010

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You have to do what works for you and your partner. We waited awhile to start trying for our second child and have been trying for a couple of years now with no luck. That being said, I have seen how stressful having 2 children under 2-3 is for friends of mine. It is nice to have some quality time with one child before you have another.
The most important thing is to do what you feel is right for you.

Samantha - posted on 01/18/2010

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it's really up to how you and your partner feel emotionally, even research says if you feel ready then you are ready and you shouldn't let others control that. Ive also read articles that say the best time frames is to have then between 18 and 24 months apart because then if you only just have the one child it hasn't truly recognized it's only child status, after that time frame they say 4 years! But it really is up to what you think you are ready for. My son is 9 months 3 weeks old and we have just started actively trying for another child. Some people around us are very supportive of it and other's arent...we just remind ourselves that it's us who will be living with and supporting this child, not those who are negative. Remember that what works for you may not work for someone else and vice versa:)

Anna - posted on 01/18/2010

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we waited untill our eldest was just about to go to nursery so that when our little one was born we could give him more time than we could having 2 of them under school age there is 3 and a half years between them x

Kristy - posted on 01/17/2010

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I personally am very into fitness. I plan to wait a year maybe two before having my next child. I only say this because my sister-in-law did the whole back to back thing, and now from constantly having her uterus stretched out she will probably never get her body back... And it also goes into the having them have time to do things on their own a little before you're completely caring for two babies. I'd advise you to give it some time! But it's totally up to you! I mean, You're the mommy!! And I know my sister-in-law wouldnt have it any other way! It's all personal opinion.

Laura - posted on 01/17/2010

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hey it can be done i did it, but i will warn you it is VERY hard. i am 22 and i have had 3 babies in 3 years. my husband and i have only been married for 3 years too. if your wanting to have kids, be sure to do it young cause i still have alot of energy and im able to take care of the kids, clean house, and still run errands, and have playdates. it wasnt on purpose for us to have this many in such a short time, it just kinda happened, so please be sure that you are really ready to have another baby so soon. one thing i regret is not having enough time with each one of them alone.

Brooke - posted on 01/17/2010

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it is normal to feel as though you want another baby while your first is still so young... but it is not logical. Do you want to be making bottles for 2, changing 2 nappies at a time. these things are pricey as you would know, but everything in 2's would be much worse. Whilst there are women out there who have done this I dont think I would recommend it.

Natalie - posted on 01/17/2010

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i must say i agree with Jen day's comments, i was in like a babymoon for the first 6 months after my little girl was born and i just wanted another one, even tho i was shattered and just getting by day to day ! ha ha ...I have heard its common that your on such a high you just want the feeling again !!!

Natalie - posted on 01/17/2010

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well i think a dr would suggest two years (thats what i was told) but I did have spd bad, most people seem to say a year, and i must admit i would say wait till your daughter 1 at least, after all this will be a year of many ups and downs and your finding your feet as a parent, are you really going to want to suffer all pregnancy symptoms during your daughters first year.

my daughters 13 months and we are going to start trying in about 7 weeks (going on holiday so want to wait so i'm not flying when preggers) if i fell first time (unlikely) my daughter would be just shy of two years old, i like the idea of that gap personally.

DARBEY - posted on 01/17/2010

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THEY SAY THAT ITS BEST FOR MOM AND BABY IF YOU WAIT 1 TO 2 YEAR SO THAT YOUR BODY IS THE BEST FOR A HEATHY PERGNTS.

Teresa - posted on 01/17/2010

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I think it is a personal choice. Although I would like another child, my husband and I plan to wait until our son is 2 before trying, however, I do know a lot of people that wait until their first is a year old and then begin
to try for the second. they all say it is nice to have two right away but it is a lot of work.

Valerie - posted on 01/17/2010

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I had my 2 girls 11 months apart. I wouldn't change now if I could! They play with the same toys, wear the same size & have the same interests. Luckily the 11 months separated them in school. I was so scared when I found out I was expecting again but I love it now. 3 years later I had a boy

Gema - posted on 01/17/2010

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i had my lil girl in oct 2008 and was tryin 4 another baby by april 2009 and now i am 17 wks preg with my 2nd baby i think it all depends on what u want not on the advice of others and also as 2 weather u think u can cope with 2 children hope this was ok 4 u xxxx

Jen - posted on 01/17/2010

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Hi, we have a 20 month old & have just decided to start trying for number two. I would say that it entirely depends on how you & your partner feel about how long to leave it between babies but please don't forget to consider a couple of things:

For me I really wanted to enjoy my baby, I wanted to have enough time with her to see her through her first steps & her first words without her having to compete with a sibling for my attention. I didn't want to be cursing her or her sibling for the fact that I didn't have enough of me to devote to them both.

Secondly, you've just had a baby & your hormones are running rampant right now, is this really what you want or is it your hormones telling the story? Wait until six months has passed & you may feel much differently!

I don't know, it's your choice but don't forget to think about your daughter & the things you may miss with her because you had another baby so soon. Good luck =)

Kristin - posted on 01/17/2010

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My first two were 15 months apart (not planned that way!). Second and third are 2 years 5 months apart. I can definitely say that the bigger gap was better.

With the first two, I can remember have one screaming for my attention and having to ignore them while I dealt with the other one. I felt guilty that I could not tend to them both. With my third, the older two were old enough to understand "wait". I still have horrible memories of the day I sat to breast feed my second. Half way through a stranger knocked on me door...she had almost run over my 18 month old son who had wondered out on the road while I was busy with the baby. Apparently the door had not closed properly and he had gotten out. Although we got the landlords to put up a fence, it doesn't take much for you to be distracted enough for one to get into trouble. I feel it's better to wait until they have at least some idea of safety.

Please think it through very carefully before making the decision. I wish our second had happened a little later, so I could have better enjoyed the first one's babyhood.

Michelle - posted on 01/16/2010

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My son is going to be 3 this week and I would love to have another baby. But we can't afford double daycare. I also WOULD NOT want to be pregnant with my son going through the ages 2 and 3. I could not imagine being pregnant with him right now. Our plan is to wait til he is 5 and willl be starting school by the time the next one comes. I don't like waiting that long but I also want to enjoy the first few years equally between all babies.

Sarah - posted on 01/16/2010

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Well, as a mom of six. I amm definatley done with having babies. lol I have kids that range from 4 years apart to 11/2 years apart. I think it depends on your situation. You know your relationship, money, all sorts of things. If all of those things are good then at least wait till your baby is 1 that way your body has had some time to heal and you get a chance to enjoy just being the three of you. Babies are an amazing gift but alot of work. Ironicly we found that after you hit four kids another two doesn't make that big of a difference. lol By the way I can tell you all what 3 birth controls don't work. Jk. well kind've. Good luck with any desision you make.

Lilliann - posted on 01/16/2010

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I feel that people need to do what is best for their families. We found out that I was expecting on our first sons birthday and I am due again this summer. Neither of these were planned but are very special gifts from G_D. My only suggestion is to involve the older child this way he/she wont feel left out. Both my children keep on asking when I have to do back to the doctors so they can hear our babies heartbeat! My older son came to ever appointment with me since we didnt have a sitter or family where we live and he has been and is still a great help.

Sharon - posted on 01/16/2010

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My two oldest are about 21 months apart. They are a boy (now 19) and a girl (now 17). They have always been extremely close and enjoy each others' company. I think their age difference is just about perfect.

Kim - posted on 01/16/2010

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I had my second daughter when my first was 2 years and 5 months old. And it was HARD!!! When you only have one, you are home on mat-leave and if your baby is not sleeping well in the night, at least you are usually able to nap during the day when your baby is. When you also have a toddler running around, you do not have that option. My baby girl was BACKWARDS for FIVE weeks. She went to bed at 7am when my older daughter woke up. So I wa averaging 3 hours of sleep a night (and not 3 STRAIGHT hours).
Also, my second daughter was a very different baby from my first. My first was easy EASY. My second we found out after 3 1/2 months had 4 joints in her back out of place from birth so for those first few months we thought she was cholic because she cried ALL the time.
Anyways, I think around that age (2 1/2 years) is the EARLIEST I would personally recommend having kids apart. Even that was a challenge. I wouldn't do it that close again myself. I, along with many other Moms I have spoken to, found that going from 1 to 2 children was WAY harder than going from 0 to 1. Hope that helps! :)

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I would wait a couple of years hopefully... more to give you a chance to build a relationship with the one you have. Sometimes when another child comes along right away the first one feels left out or has to grow up faster etc because you are taking care of the baby... and having missed out on that oneness, that nurturing time can affect a child's character as they grow up.. with not much baby time and suddenly having to be the big sis or bro, can make them feel like they missed something.

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well firstly the person who wrote the question, I'd wait till you can talk properly before even thinking of having another. sorry.

I have a 5 year old and I'm ready anytime now but im too ill at prescent.

Faye - posted on 01/16/2010

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It takes 2-3 years for the mother to fully recover from childbirth and and nursing and restore nutrients needed for a new pregnancy. Psychologically, child spacing is best 3-4 years apart. Each child needs time to be the youngest. Reference: www.westonaprice.org.

Lisa - posted on 01/15/2010

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My personal opinion is that if there isn't 2.5-3 years between them, the first child seems to miss out on alot of attention, and it's kinda sad. Let your first one have a chance to have more one-on-one, because once another comes along, despite your best intentions, it is hard to do that.

Li - posted on 01/15/2010

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I think it varies from mum to mum on when they feel ready?
My son is 16 months and when he was 4/5 months I felt quite broody for another. At the time he obviously wasn't crawling, hadn't started with the whole separation anxiety thing, had no idea whether he'd be an active, demanding older baby / toddler etc, so at the time seemed appealing to have another then. But now he's 16 months and we've been through all those stages I could never have visioned myself with a second baby just yet, would be hard work! I'd like another when he's around 3 and starts nursery so that I have more time to spend with him, he understands more, and has passed most of the toddler issues! I'd quite like him to be of the age where he can be proud of being a big brother and help out etc, I think he and I would enjoy it much more.
But then lots of mums have close age gaps and it works fine for them.
x

Carla - posted on 01/15/2010

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I agree with Aubrey. I waited until my son was almost 4years old. He became my little helper. Pesonally I think it is easier if you wait until the first child is at the least potty trained before having another baby!

Jan - posted on 01/15/2010

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My friend has a 3 year old and a 4 month old baby nightmare!!! she's finding it a bit hard. I think its up to ureself and when u feel ready to have another baby, I was 24 when I had my wee boy and feel pregnant with my wee girl when I was 30. He's great with her and he's not demanding or naughty, he's a wee man helping me and she loves him to bits her wee face lights up when she sees him. My husband bearly gets a look in cause my wee boy thinks he's the parent, he used to tell people to was their hand before touching her and wind her after2 ozs when feeding everyone giggles soo funny. Would love another baby myself but would want to wait another 4 or 5 years then I would be a bit older so gonna have to stick with my 2 darlings.

Dawn - posted on 01/15/2010

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I would wait AT LEAST 2 years.
that way, they're not too far apart in age, but they're not too close in age.

you want to allow your little one, special time with mommy first :)

Jan - posted on 01/15/2010

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I waited nearly six years after I had my son who is 6 and now I have a little girl of 5 months and it is perfect!

Bonnie - posted on 01/15/2010

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For me personally, I had my sons about 2 1/2 years gap, I wanted them to be buddies, and I was feeling healthy enough, and could afford it...I am not so much worried about the buddy thing, for age or timing for the next pregnancy, moreso as my health and being able to afford it. Both my pregnancies were cesarean due to gestational diabetes, and other complications, and it was hard chasing around a very active toddler who was still in diapers when baby #2 came along. Then after #2 was born, I had a bout of PPD. That took at least 6 months to get through.

My husband and I, really want to have at least 1-2 more tops...I am working on my health and waiting also for better financial means, before adding to our family. God willing, I hope to add another to our family withing the next couple of years...:)

Courtney - posted on 01/15/2010

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3 years is the magic number!!! especially if you get preggo with twins the next time around...like me! lol!!

Anya - posted on 01/15/2010

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I waited 11 years and that was just about right. Maybe I should have waited 16 so there would have been no chance of them arguing over toys...

Ceylon - posted on 01/15/2010

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I have a 12yr old n a 14 yr old... So I say at least 2 yrs between each child and thts still cutting it a lil close.,.

Angela - posted on 01/15/2010

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I waited until my 1st child was 9months old&felt I was ready to try again. There is now 1yr 5months between my boys and they're great company for each other but can also be very hectic in the house as one day they're best friends the next worst of enemies but I wanted them to grow up close together. Kyle is 4yrs, Logan is 2.5yrs old and I also have a baby girl Aileana who's 9months old & she has just sloted into the family and is a star! It is very hard work though but I feel it's worth it. x

Senita - posted on 01/14/2010

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me i had 2 babies close together and i think it is such a bad idea i had more of a work load annd i have 4 kids and even that gave me the insentive to get my tubes tied. honestly wait until bub is out of nappies then have another. my older 2 are 2 years apart.

having one in nappies is easy 2 no way, sorry

Jennifer - posted on 01/14/2010

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I just read a medical article on this in my husband's medical journey. According to their findings, getting pregnant earlier than 9 months after having a baby increased risk of miscarriage and early infat death by a whopping 60%. THe ideal time to wait between babies is 12-36 months. After a five year gap, the risks are almost the same as too close together. My babies are 21 and 19 months apart, and get along pretty well. Hope this helps!

Courtney - posted on 01/14/2010

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I have seen post saying that moms are glad they had their little ones so close together because those children are great play mates. Well guess what? They can be great playmates no matter what the age difference is. My boys are 4 years apart and are now 7 and 3 yrs and they play together every day. Legos, building blocks, digging holes in the back yard, nailing boards together with their dad. It doesn't matter what the age difference is.If you want them to love each other and be great friends, YOU just have to instill the sense of sibling companionship and not rivalry.

Jamie Lee - posted on 01/14/2010

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I have three children ages 3, 2, and 8 months. Somedays I wish I had waited longer but others I love that they are growing up together. Its hard sometimes when they are all screaming and it is overwhelming. My oldest daughter was 8 months old when I got pregnant with my second. I thought that was it perfect family. One boy, and One girl. when my second child(my son) was 18 months old I found out I was pregnant with my third (daughter) and was horrified. How can I afford to diaper three children. OMG my heart was so heavy and so stressed. I would say wait at least until your daughter is 1 year old and if you still want another... go for it. I know it feels great to care for them but the finacial and emotional burden that comes with it is alot to bare. This coming from a mother who didn't wait and currently have 3 children 3 and under. Wait... you'll thank yourself for it. Besides that your body has a very HARD time bouncing back from multiple births back to back. Give yourself time to heal and give your daughter the time and love she deserves for the first year of her life. remember more children means more divided attention. Spoil her as much as you can before you deside that you want another. They are wonderful but its VERY VERY hard and a struggle for me everyday.... Just so you know me and my husband stay at home with our children but its still very difficult. Please wait you won't regret it!

JEN - posted on 01/14/2010

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I have 17 months between my first 2 and my 17 month old was jealous for the first 2 weeks and stopped eating, she really noticed the lack of attention beacause I was so tired through the day as well, I did my best to give her my time but my baby was so demanding, it was hard but as the bub got older it got better, then 2 n half years later i had my 3rd and that was so much easier. I just regret not giving my first all that one on one time she deserved in the first 2 years, but like I said its all good know. I say if you have good support and you can make a day for just you and you first one once or twice a week then that would be a good way to go. But like someone else mentiond it is really up to you. Good luck!

Marlene - posted on 01/14/2010

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You want to enjoy your little one, don't rush it. Mine are about 2&1/2 yr. apart. You can enjoy them both and they are company for each other. You would be surprised how much a 2yr. old can help too and enjoy being a little helper.

Angela - posted on 01/14/2010

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well id say atleast 3 yrs coz then ull av a new born and the other child well b at nursery and so it would make it alot easier? but im not 1 2 talk coz i av 3 kids boy 16 gal 11 and a 3 yr old boy? lol x

Laura - posted on 01/14/2010

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It's definitely up to you when you are ready to have another baby. I personally started wanting another baby when mine was only 3 months old; however, I do want to enjoy my time with her before I have another one. So, I can see both ways having their ups and downs. It's just whichever way you want to go with it.

Fran - posted on 01/14/2010

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all i can tell you is i have two boys and they are 15 months apart. yes it was hard being pregnant again so quickly. and yes it was tough when they were first learning how to deal with each other. but now when i see them playing together and laughing together i wouldn't have it any other way. they are best friends and they look out for each other. the best way to look at it is to do what works for you and your family.

Bev - posted on 01/14/2010

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I had mine close together there is 13mths between my first and secvond then 2 yrs between my 2nd n 3rd between 3rd n 4th there is 2yrs and 4th n 5th 2yrs but take into account you carry for 9mth if you fell now you will have a 1yr old and a baby. Good luck with what you decide.

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