How old should bub be before starting the controlled crying/self soothing method?

Anet - posted on 02/24/2009

Our eldest was about 2 months old when I let him cry himself to sleep. Watching from a safe distance outside in the garden, it broke my heart, but the best thing I could have done..



The youngest son was a gruelling 10 months old. We went through hell with 3 weeks not sleeping day or night! Talk about feeling like a zombie!!! It took 2 weeks to solve that problem.



Moral of the story....the sooner the better to get baby into a healthy pattern.



Good luck!

Stacey - posted on 02/24/2009

We have just started the self soothing method and my son is all but 12 months. We let him cry for about 5 minutes, then go in resettle him with his dummy and blankets and then leave. The longest ive done this for is an hour, then i patted him to sleep. I think its working. it has only taken an hour once so...

Joy - posted on 02/24/2009

Quoting Shantelle:

How old should bub be before starting the controlled crying/self soothing method?

I have been told at 3mths, bub starts to rely on whatever method you use to get them to sleep. Just wondering at what age did you start the controlled crying/ self soothing, and how did you do it (or other ideas/methods are appreciated too)

I started my boy when he was 6 weeks old. I didnt use control crying though,i got my techniques frm Save our sleep by Tizzie Hall which has age appropriate routines for babies and how to implement them to have them self settle and sleeping thru the night..It took my son 3 days before he took to the routines and he was sleeping thru from 6 weeks old with a dreamfeed at 10pm and then a feed at 2am and would wake at 7am. He was sleeping thru the night without waking from 11 weeks and has done so ever since and he is now nearly 6 months old. We had no problems with his teething or while he has the flu and believe it is because he is routined....Everyone is different though, this is just what worked for us.

Gabrielle - posted on 02/23/2009

Mine was about 3 months when I let him cry.  I would check on him after 5 minutes, then 10, then 15 and by 20 he was usually asleep.  It only took two or three nights for him to drift off easier.  What did help is I turned on a cd of slow music (no words) to help him sleep.  I did that (and still do) until he was old enough to have a stuffed animal and blanket.  He sleeps MUCH better with his blanket than without it. 

Shantelle - posted on 02/23/2009

Thanks guys, I think I just needed reassuring that he wasn't too young. He is 5mths so I didn't want to do it if it was too early. He has a routine and is in his own cot, always has been from the first cple of wks. And he currently wakes once, I give him a bottle and 99% of the time goes straight back to sleep. My problem is naps and going to bed. (he cries alot and if I get him to sleep in my arms it takes 2-3 attempts to put him down). I made the mistake with my first child of rocking to sleep so with my second I did controlled crying and it worked (I agree, what a blessing Tessa) but when she hit about 1yr 1/2 it stopped working as well and needed me to sit at the end of the bed, she is now (at almost 2) the worst sleeper, waking a few times and needing me there, I wish I never gave in...think I may have to do it again with her. This will be the hardest because her 'middle of the night crying' will wake bub.

I think I will check out that book sara, thanks.

My biggest problem is convincing daddy it's for the best and won't last forever!.......

Sara - posted on 02/23/2009

The books say that 4 months is old enough for a baby to learn to self soothe. We did it with my daughter when she was 9 weeks after talking it through with the pediatriacian. What we did was start a bedtime routine (bath, bottle, book, bed). We layed her down int he crib sleepy, but still awake. The first few nights were tough, she cried for a while. We would go in to comfort her (but not pick her up) first at 10 minutes, then 20 minutes later...and so on. By the end of the first week, she was hardly fussing at all. Now, she's 18 weeks old and we can put her down in her crib wide awake (although, most of the time she's sleepy like clockwork at 7pm) and she'll just babble for a few minutes and fall right to sleep. I read the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and found that very useful. I think the major thing is to have a routine and stick to it the best you can. Babies learn very quickly and will pick up on it. I won't lie, the first few nights are heartwrenching, but you have to know that it's the best thing for everyone in your household to get good sleep. Good Luck!

Jennifer - posted on 02/23/2009

I never did it. Some swear by it and others swear against it. You can't spoil a three month old. They cry because the NEED something. Dr. Sears was the biggest proponant of it, but now he says he was wronge and that is not the best way to go.



I transitioned each of my boys from our bed to their beds and it worked for us. We co-sleep because it works for us. Both boys are very independent and secure and always have been.



Talk with your ped and research the library and on-line. You'll find pros and cons and supporting documentation each. However, more specialist are coming out against it.



Good luck.

Tessa - posted on 02/23/2009

Listen to Jacqui!! I did the same thing with my son,and now,at 14 months,I have no trouble at all putting him to bed at night or naptime. If he wakes through the night,95% of the time he goes back to bed in his crib. Thats another big thing,not letting them get dependant on being in mommies bed if they can't sleep.(I do give in sometimes,tho!!)Can't begin to express how much easier life is when bedtime isn't wartime! If I were you,I'd listen to my gut,and start when you feel comfortable with baby sleeping through the night,possibly in his own room. My boy's been in his nursey sleeping through the night since he was 3 months old. Good luck mama!!

Jacqui - posted on 02/23/2009

i started as soon as they were sleeping thru the nite i have found its comforting for them if they have a favoufire toy or teddy with them. maybe a radio on quietly so they dont think they are alone.