How to address the situation.

Rudine - posted on 01/03/2013 ( 11 moms have responded )

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I got married four years ago. My husband and i both came into the relationship with a child of our own. They were four. Once we got married my husband I notice started being ruled, Disrespectful to my daughters feeling and would beat her and yell at her for everything. I stopped him from beating her.
When his son would come over (still on going) he'd let him do what ever he wants and never tells him no, yell at him or beat him. Nothing. I'm fed up. My close friend and family said that I should talk to him about it. I have, It seems like he'll stop for a while and go back to the same old ways. We now have two kids together, so divorce would be nasty. How should I handle this situation?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/03/2013

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I agree with the others. If you're not willing to protect your daughter by getting her (and your other biological children) out of an abusive situation, then the least you can do is demand that your husband take anger management courses, and go to counseling.

Because, think of this: he beats your daughter, so how long before he starts taking his frustration out on the other 2 kids that you have born him? He won't take it out on his son, because of 2 things: He's his SON. Boy children (still, in this day and age, which is ridiculous) tend to be looked upon more favorably in some societies. And the other reason is that the boy is HIS son, not his and yours, not yours.

The abuse won't just be confined to your daughter. Trust me.

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11 Comments

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Marcy - posted on 01/12/2013

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Think of your Kids First. Would you want to be in their spot? You have to do something cause your kids will hate you for not doing something about it.

Rudine - posted on 01/06/2013

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@Jodi
Yes I talk to him about treating the kids equal. Like I'll say something like "if you can't treat them the same and keep it fair then you don't need to say anything to her" " if all the kids can't do it, then he shouldn't be able too either, I don't care if he's visiting. House rules are house rules and you need to enforce it. That's not how we're raising our kids! I'm sick of it" stuff like that.

Rudine - posted on 01/06/2013

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Yes, he just agreed to go to counseling to save the marriage. My mother believes he's like that because he's in the army and is having PTSD from being deployed. I don't know, but after our big talk... He's making a point to change. Hopefully it will last.

Mrs. Janice - posted on 01/06/2013

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Tell him he needs to stop doing treating her like that. Maybe the both of you need to go to counseling .

Melanie - posted on 01/06/2013

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It sounds as if there is no easy solution to this complicated issue. The safety of all of the children, and yourself, is first and foremost. That being said, and if a safe environment can be maintained, it is probably worth trying to find a solution to the problem before resorting to divorce, but it definitely sounds as if some kind of professional help will be required. Good luck to you and your family.

Rudine - posted on 01/05/2013

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Thank you for your edvice. I've been thinking about leaving, despite the nasty Divorce. He's not willing to go to counseling. He thinks there's nothing wrong. If he was willing to change that would be great, but I have to live for my children.

Lacye - posted on 01/03/2013

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I would have already been gone. No man has the right to put his hands on your child and it is your responsibility to protect her. I don't care how nasty the divorce would be, if a man beat my child, I would either get a divorce or he would be six feet in the ground and I would be in jail. That is your child. She comes first before any damn man.

Jodi - posted on 01/03/2013

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How do you go about "talking to him" about it. Is it a talk about how he treats your daughter? Or is it a talk about house rules for ALL children?

I do agree with the others, though, I would have been out the minute he laid a hand on my kid. If he is still in any way laying a hand on the kids, get out now, it doesn't matter how nasty the divorce will be.

S. - posted on 01/03/2013

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Nasty divorce or not you owe it to your child to protect her and if you think your hb is miss treating her you need to take her away from it. No child should be beat by any parent! I don't think a step parent should EVER even raise a finger to a child ever.

Dove - posted on 01/03/2013

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The first moment any man laid a hand on my child would be the last moment he saw us....

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