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How to be a Strong Single Mom?

Darnisha - posted on 06/15/2010 ( 1 mom has responded )

70

77

Hi ladies im so relieved i finally started the paperwork for my son Eli's dads child support.I jus need help staying strong for my son when it comes down to it. I was shocked that when we went to the meeting the first thing he asked for was a DNA test(so now we have to go back next month for them to tell him he is the daddy lol) then a few moments later he asking me can he hold him. I said "You'll be alright" lol and then everytime the case worker left the room he would say stuff like "im not mad" or "I jus wanted to see my son when i wanted to not when you want me to" im tryin not to make enemies with him but he is so difficult because i want Eli to have two parents even if we are never getting back together. He also hasnt seen him in 2months and won't bring diapers or milk ANYTHING. His dad tries to get under my skin all the time. I need help for when it comes down to it i wanna get everything straight without blowing up so i can show his dad that he doesn't have controll over me and the decisions that i make for Eli. My son deserves more and i want to give it to him.

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Michelle - posted on 06/15/2010

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48

I was a single mom for the first 2 years of my daughter's life and I can tell you it is never easy. But child support and visitation are two separate issues. I am not sure where you live but here in florida my daughters bio dad is required to pay child support, but unless he takes me to court for visitation I don't have to let him see her. And I don't. Her father was like that as well he would only hold her as long as she wasn't crying. As soon as she would cry he would ask me to take her cuz he didnt know what to do. In the beginning I went out of my way to let him see her which was once a month when he would call and ask to see her. Then it got to the point where his mom would ask to have her for a day so he could see her (again once a month) finally he just stopped asking and hasnt seen her since New Years of 2007.

You are his caregiver and all choices that must be made go through you. Just be strong for you son and do what you feel is best for him. Try not to speak badly of his dad in front of him and try not to let anyone else speak badly of his dad either. What will happen as your son grows up is he will find out for himself what kind of man his dad is. I hope that helped..

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