how to cope with kids who have ADHD

Carolynn - posted on 05/14/2010 ( 13 moms have responded )




I just found out that my son had ADHD. I took him to a Counselor (outside of school) and she gave me a ADHD evaluation to fill out myself and then one for his teacher. I filled mine out, but when the one that his teacher filled out came home.... my heart sank, I didn't think his behavior at school was so bad until I read what the teacher wrote. This is all new to me, how do you cope with it? I hate to have to put him on medicine, but it sounds like this might be the only way that will work for him. How can we make life a bit easier for him and the rest of the family?

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Stephanie - posted on 11/03/2010




Technically a counselor cannot diagnose your child with ADHD. My suggestion is to have the child evaluated by a child psychiatrist. Don't get ahead of yourself and start worrying about medications until you are certain what you're dealing with. At the very least take the info to your pediatrician and get an opinion from them.

Cari - posted on 10/13/2010




I had to do the same evlauation, one for me, one for the teacher. Based on the results the Dr. said that if he just looks at my evaluation alone he does not have it, based on the teacher's he definately does. So, borderline was the answer. It is amazing how different the evals can be between teacher and parent. I think a lot of the time the teachers know how to work the system to get kids put on medication, just to make their job easier, even if the child is getting good grades. Sad but true. I really think alot of the things the teachers complained about fall in the catagory of "boys will be boys". We have not put him on meds yet. From reading other replies, I may try a change in diet.

Gloria - posted on 09/05/2010




I also done that paper you mentioned. My son has been removed from many schools until they found suitable placement for him. Concerta worked for my son until the meds wore off 8 hours later. They placed my son in a smaller class throughout school. He does have a short attention span, doesn't listen very well, anxiety, depression etc. Adhd is a genetic disorder that's passed down. Observe your son at home, some crave attention or do things to get your attention. Concerta among other meds have websites you can search. Be patient with your son, by the time he's a teen he may grow out of some things. All meds affect a child differently. Some say coffee mellows a child also. My son has many bad habits that I don't agree with. Sometimes working with him isn't easy. Each case of adhd has many levels. For me growing up, I believe I was a.d.d but wasn't dianosed, he may grow out of it. Google has valuable information on adhd and other things.

[deleted account]

Before doing anything else read up as much as you can. Your child has survived this long, another few mths isn't gonna do too much harm.
Meds is a big decision. No-one can say whether this is gonna be the right thing for you all.
My son has ADHD- We have struggled for some time with his behaviours, and have done a lot of physical activity. Interestingly computer and TV are one thing that allows him to concentrate. (we haven't allowed this up till now)
We do have times when he seems to be on a 'high' for days, and we wanted to help him come 'down' so to speak. He already has melatonin to help him sleep at night.
Recently we went to the Dr, and wanted something for 'occassional' use. We ended up with a form of valium.
This was low dose to be taken 3x a day. It was 2wks b4 we used it. The difference was great. It stopped him being so 'hyper/jumpy' He didn't come across as drugged/sleepy as I thought he might. he was still a busy active boy, but not as bouncy. he said it helped everything to stop rushing around in his head.
We have still only used this 4x in the last 2mths. I was considering something more longterm after seeing the difference, but we have been able to work with diet, different strategies, changing parenting style etc...

Research - don't feel bullied into any one path - esp by teachers who may want easier life! My son now has one on one, so I feel he can cope without for the time being.

Remember there is no rush.

Devon - posted on 05/15/2010




both my girls have ADHD and i had to do the same thing with the tests and the school one's came back poorly. i didn't want to go the med route but knowing that they were going into first grade and it being longer days than half day kindergarten, i changed my mind. they are doing well on the medication's and i also have them in counseling as well which they give great tips on how to control it at home. It all depends on you and what you think is best. try changing diets and routine and counseling and if that doesn't seem to be doing much then you should think about meds. it's up to you. good luck

Hope - posted on 05/15/2010




my suggestion is get a second opinion, look at what your child is eating, find out if he has any problems at school that he hasn't shared with you that could be the cause of his behaviour and look at your parenting style. add is so often misdiagnosed and it pays to find out that it is really the problem. if you are still sure after doing some research get some of the numerous books on add, a lot of them have great advice and management strategies. good luck

Audria - posted on 05/15/2010




I just went through the same this mother, I agreed to medication for six months and your child will be tested again with the same counselor after one month on the new medication (medidate) again at 3 months and again at 6 months. The counselor will show you the improvements and you can discuss what the pro's and con's of medicine or no medicine. I am at the 4 month level and have seen some good improvement. I wish you the best in your decision. One other thing. No sugar or caffine after 5 pm... and on the weekends if they take the medicine by 8:30 or so then it won't get them off the track and you can still have a normal life. I have also eliminated anything with red dye. like red koolaid and mustard (yes it has red dye) I have went with natural ketchup. For sodas I choose caffeine free like sprite or root beer. If your child has asthma then apple juice in the morning is best. works will with this. if you have any more question let me know

Melissa - posted on 05/15/2010




what grade is your son in? what i did with my daughter was this. i spoke to the teacher and i reguested that she get evaulated with the school psycologist. we discovered problems when she was in k and they just pushed her through to 1st grade and was promised that she will get evaulated that school year. when the school began i reguested it to be done asap. it was done and i took the report that they gave me to her dr and there thats when he diagnosed her with having add not the faulity memebers at the school. they can say they think that they have add or adhd but they cant diagnose a child to having it. we put her medicine and we decided to retain her and from there we did a IEP with a 504 plan with the school. the medicine does work and she only takes it while she goes to school not on the weekends unless she does alot of focusing that weekend.the medicine lasts all day and wears off around the time she comes home. we meet with her dr every so often and we have changed her medication often according her needs. she is in 5th grade and is having a great year this year. the teachers and i meet regularly to discuss her progress at school. my dr told me this you are the only advacate for your child noone else but you. i will always remember that. he is right about that. just have him organized and keep him on a routine to follow. also for his homework have him right it down in a organizer and have the teacher look at every day and another thing keep communicating with the teachers make sure they give you daily or weekly updates on his behavior in school and the work he is doing.
i hope this info helps you. let me know how you are doing and your son.
thank you for your time,
melissa kenvin

Cortne - posted on 05/15/2010




I would hold off on the meds to. Have you taken him to a regular doctor to be properly diagnosed. Now and days people are so quick to say kids have ADHD, when a lot of kids are just naturally hyper. Do more research, my psyhcology teacher told us in class one time how bad the medicine can be and at times even makes the kids act worse. I would get a second opinion before doing the medicine right away, and get to the root of why he is behaving badly at school.

Tonya - posted on 05/15/2010




alot of people are going to try to talk you out of medication right now and there might be a few that will try to talk you into putting your child on medication. My suggestion to you is this research your friends and family to see if any of them know any one on medication for this. I can vouche it is heredity I know I have 7 children and I have 5 so far that have tested positive for it and my grandson is 4 and has it as well. Also there is a chance of bipolar too but that is a story of a different time. Research the school your child goes to as far as how do they work with those types of children. Your child is not bad do not think they are. They are just overly hyper and can not help it. As far as the food or drinks and all that garb (I tried it but my son on sugar free drinks nothing worked until I gave him coffee) I really wished I could talk to you about this instead of here cause like me I had tons of questions and no one really to talk to and since then I have researched and talked to different counselors as well as doctors and friends plus I have learned alot from trial and error. I really wish you best of luck on this. Here is my email if you want to ask more questions and I can try to help you. The meds are all trial and error until you can find one that works for you. Please do not hesitate to contact me ok just to let you know I do not think of myself as an expert but I have been dealing with ADD/ADHD since my 21 year old was 4 almost 5 when he was diagnosed. I will help you all I can it will be ok. :-)

[deleted account]

Before you accept medication, take some time to keep track of EVERYTHING he eats and drinks for a few days.

Sometimes ADD-type behavior can be caused by a sensitivity to food additives.

Iridescent - posted on 05/14/2010




We refuse to use medications unless necessary. There is a strong possibility the teacher knew what she was filling out, so knew what answers to put to get the diagnosis she wanted for him. It's not all teachers, but some are like this. He may not be behaving as severely as stated on the form. Some teachers want medication so they don't have to be teachers to actual real live children, vs robots.

Check into behavioral and occupational therapy first.

JuLeah - posted on 05/14/2010





I'd hold off on meds for a time .... some kids do react well, respond well to a change in diet and routine. More exercise, no sugar, no white flour (food dyes have a big impact on behaviors in the kids in my family) .... I have seen wonders in some kids from just these changes.
Counselors can be a good thing too ... help him see the behaviors that are not working and find ones that do

Make sure what 'they' are seeing is actually a problem. I've watched teachers call behavior ADHD that I felt was 'normal' behavior for the age.

Medication is a BIG decision. Here is what I have seen ..... there is a blow up of some kind and the kid is put on meds - attention is paid, counselors are brought in, time is spent, less TV is watched, routines are followed, more focus at home on homework, more attention from???

Kids behaviors improve and everyone says, "Wow the medication really works"

A few weeks go by, routines fall off, more TV is watched, and more video games played, less focus on homework at home, less attention paid from??? Behaviors get worse and another blow up happens .... and people say, "Medication is no longer working, let's adjust the - dose"

Attention is again paid, counselor session are not missed, more focus is spent on homework, less TV .... and behaviors go back down .... everyone says 'Medication is working"

Watch for that pattern

And, some kids really do benefit from meds and really need them. There is a lot of information out there. Educate yourself. You are the expert on your kid.

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