Sanja - posted on 05/17/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )
I used to have a perfect little girl, who would listen to me and I never have to yell at her, this year she turned 5 and now she always protests to what I or her dad tell her to do or if something doesn't go her way. I tried to reason, punish her by taking away her favourite thing, putting her in a naughty corner, cancelling her playdates, which causes new outbursts of crying and screaming. I just can't get through to her. She is very clever and strongheaded little girl. I take her out and always give her what she wants when she's good, but as soon as I say 'no' to something, she starts with 'but, mommmy'. Our arguments end up in me screaming at her and getting extremly frustrated and her crying in histerics, pulling her own hair, scraching her face (surely this is not normal), kicking and screaming on the floor. And she's capable of carrying on for hours. It seems to me that she get so angry and frustrated that she doesn't know how to deal with that emotion and I don't know what to do to help her. What is the best way to react to this, when reasoning, ignorance or punishment doesn't help?
She also begs for a hug every time she pushes me to the limit and I get really upset and tell her I'm too upset by her to give her a hug. I give her a lot of affection when she's good. What do I do when she gets like this?
She can be such an angel when it suits her and when she thinks she has some gain out of it (reward). Should I be rewarding her for everyday normal behaviour like getting up and dressed, eating breakfast, playing quietly, if so, how? I'm concerned. I'd like to see her grow up into a healthy adult who is in control of her emotions.
Sorry for such a long letter, but I don't know what to do....I don't want to yell and scream every day, I hate myself being like that and its really damaging for her younger siblings who witness this every day....