How to deal with when they say your child loves his father more??

Liz - posted on 03/10/2010 ( 16 moms have responded )

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I have one family tells me all the time your son loves his father more than he loves you.. I don't know how to deal with this family.. nobody ever told me that and I find it offensive,,,

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Julie - posted on 03/13/2010

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I would respond that the love of a child is not something to be COMPARED. I have three children? Do I love them differently? YES. They are each unique. Do I love them the same? YES. They are all my children, and I could not choose one to live without. I think the same is true of children and their parents. Does your child love you and your spouse differently? Sure. I bet one of you plays better at certain things, one of you knows their likes and dislikes better, and one of you reads a better story to him/her. It is only natural they have preferences - we do! Just because your child shows a preference in activities, how they cuddle or time spent with a parent, does not mean they love one more than the other! If your "friend" persists in continuing to talk about this, tell them this topic is not up for discussion. You know your child loves you both, and that is all that matters. Tell them it''s time to talk about something else!

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Melissa - posted on 03/13/2010

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Why don't you tell them that you don't appreciate hearing that opinion from them, It is in appropriet and shows disrespect to you. And why do you still go to this family who are they to you and your son?? Does the family talk about this regullarly?? Don't let this bother you. If you are worried bout yer son and the relationship between him and his father, DONT!!!! Look at the world today of problems with children who dont have a father in their lives. He has the best of both worlds. You could keep the love strong and take him fishing or be there for his sport games and root for him at any event that captivates him. build on this every day and keep open conversations. And you SHOULD be offended!! I would stay away from bad influinces of outsiders. Good luck, please call on me again if you need anything more. have a blessed weekend!

Clare - posted on 03/13/2010

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i also hav dealt with this, my sons dad always making a point tht he cries for him but not me, yet...wen its just me and my son its fine i no my son loves me, he doesnt see his dad as much so maybe thts y he is, it does get u down but ive overcome it now (i think) only think about wot it like wen its just you 2, cuddles kisses, playing all them things really helps me bond even more with him, hes nearly 2 now,

Lovie - posted on 03/12/2010

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Our children are strange it might seems to a stranger that our child loves one parent more than another, but that's not true and don't let that get to you. I have 3 sons my baby acts like his big brother is dad. My four year old gets mad at me and tell me he's going to his brother's house. At first it made me feel a little hurt, but now I know that if something should happen to me (Gods bless no time soon) I can rest assure that he will be in good hands. As far as that family goes My reply would be thank God because we have so many dead beat father in this world.

Caroline - posted on 03/11/2010

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I say - just ignore them! They are obviously rude and inconsiderate and not worth your time!

Carolee - posted on 03/11/2010

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My cousin told me the absolute best piece of advice I have ever encountered as a mom.



"Kids will love who they love. Sometimes it sucks, but they really DO love you... even when you're not their favorite."



Luckily, she told me that before I had kids, so I was prepared. But, she was right.

Iridescent - posted on 03/11/2010

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If your son is saying it, let it go. It happens with every child at some age, and is usually in reference to the parent working out of the home during the day more (they simply miss them). If it's the FAMILY saying it, tell them to STFU. They're way out of line.

My kids each did/do this, and it used to be upsetting but it isn't any more. I understand now that they love me very much, and need me just as much as they need their dad, they just MISS their dad more. It became very apparent when I was hospitalized for a week exactly how much they do love me, too! :)

Sherylene - posted on 03/11/2010

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Tell them that's normal, and a good thing...Sons are supposed to love their Fathers more, and you can say...for instance, my son loves me more than you...Just as it should be. That should shut them up.

Mary - posted on 03/11/2010

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Being a mom is not a popularity contest. My husband has always been more popular with our childre because I am the one who has tried to teach them what is right. Doing the right thing whether it is eating your veggies or telling the truth is not always fun or easy. This family may have some reason for wanting to irritate you or they may be just plain ignorant. Consider the source and let it go. Our behavior is not based on the character of others but on our own character. I hope you have a generous, forgiving and loving character. Turlkeys never soar. 3;-)

Wanita - posted on 03/10/2010

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There is a different kind of love shared between a mother and her child that only a mother will understand. The love children feel for their parents is ever changing I see it with my 3. 14yr daughter 18 yr son and 2yr daughter it depends on the way they respond to the way they are treated. All that matters is that we as parents wether we are mothers or fathers love our children unconditionally. Nobody truly know that love but you and your children!

Bridgette - posted on 03/10/2010

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Use it to your advantage. You have been told this now we deal with it. Enjoy that it seems your child loves his father. Tell them he is suppose to love his father. You have carried this child for 9 months. You have been everything to this child and now its time for the father to bond with this child. Don't let that get you down, your turn will come again. Enjoy it while you can. Be happy that you have a child that can and has a father he can love and bond with!!!

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Alot of dads can't soothe a child who is crying or throwing a tantrum. Some dads won't make a bottle or feed the child. Sounds like you don't have those problems.
Also if dad is away at work all day and doesn't see his son alot, then that could be one reason that your son wants to spend so much time with his dad.

[deleted account]

I've been told that before and I took it as a great compliment that the love between them is obvious for everyone to see. I think people comment on this because not all dads are hands on or around very much.

Melissa - posted on 03/10/2010

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There is nothing wrong with your son loving his father. Your son loves you. Nobody can tell you any different. Maybe the person telling you this is living out their own insecurities. Children love their parents, both of them. Sometimes they are more klingy with one of them. But that isn't anything to worry about. Your son loves you! Just tell them that, and that you don't think it is appropriate for them to say to you, your son, your child's father, or anyone else for that matter!

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