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How to discourage daughters relationship with highly tatooed boyfriend

Diana - posted on 09/30/2011 ( 203 moms have responded )

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My Daughter is 18 and is sleeping and going out with a young man who is heavily tatooed. I appreciates its my problem,I find tatoos physically repulsive. He is a little older has no job and does not drive. He is so immature that she buys the condoms. He has letters on every finger,on his hands,arm and chest.

She wants him to meet us both and for him to stay here. I have no desire to meet him or have him stay. How can I discourage her and explain how both my husband and I feel. She knows we hate tatoos. I do have a good relationship with her but she is very strong willed and moody. At the momment she works part time and stays for days at a time with him and his family.

Any ideas appreciated

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Teresa - posted on 09/30/2011

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Krista said everything that I wanted to in the words that I couldn't think of. ;)

Krista - posted on 09/30/2011

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The tattoos aren't the issue here. And if you make it the issue, you'll only appear closed-minded to your daughter. Some of the nicest, most considerate and kind husbands have many tattoos. I realize that this is how you feel, but really...if the guy treated her like absolute gold and worshiped the ground she walked on, would you still be against him just because of his tats?

Concentrate on how he treats her. THAT'S what matters. Does he have no job because he's a student, or because he's lazy and expects her to pay for everything? Is he taking her for granted? If so, then have a conversation with her and actually LISTEN. Ask her "How does that make you feel when he gets you to pay for everything? Do you think he appreciates what you do for him?" And really listen to her answers. Maybe she does have doubts, but doesn't want to admit it to you because she's too stubborn.

Talk to her the same way you'd talk to a good friend in that situation -- be caring, be concerned, be loving, and let her know that you're there for her. And meet the guy. He might not be so bad. But you are not obligated to have him stay there -- it's your home, and you're well within your rights to say that the only man she'll have sleeping over at your house will be the man she's married to.

Katherine - posted on 09/30/2011

65,405

232

First of all having tattoo's doesn't define a person. That being said, your daughter is legally an adult now. Technically she can do whatever she wants. If you have a huge problem with it then kick her out.....plain and simple.

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