How to get along with my daughter's father?

Tammy - posted on 10/01/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I left my daughter's father in Jan. I thought by leaving him we would be able to better ourselves and then become as a whole to make things work between us. Things actually are worst off now then they were. He barely seems his daughter. I do just about everything for her. I now know we won't be getting back together, however I would like for us to have a good relationship for our daughter's sake. I'm not sure how to tackle this issue. It's hard out here being a single parent and I really would like to see things differently with us. I know that he is capable of being a good father, maybe he just need a little guidance. Whatever the case may be my daughter has 2 parents not 1. What's a woman to do???

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Lydia - posted on 10/01/2009

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Whatever she needs to do to raise their child the best they can. Its no good trying to force the issue with him - he needs to decide to be involved with his daughter. Move on and make a loving home for the two of you and just let him know that he can come over anytime he is ready to make a real commitment to his daughter. Having two parents doesnt always make things easier...

Sharon - posted on 10/01/2009

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Geezus. Weren't you getting along when you were sleeping together? Whats different now? Maybe you should go back to doing what ever it was that made him happy then, and he'll come around?



I'm being sarcastic.



Why do you need him? YOU don't. Your daughter should know her father, but if he's a self absorbed idiot, is that what she needs to learn? How to be a self absorbed idiot? Why do people insist that the jackass parent be present in their child lives? All they do is cause hurt.



Get rid of him. Let him do what he wants and stop stressing about it. He's going to do what he wants regardless of what you say & do. You couldn't change him with sex, you couldn't change him when you had a baby (and trust me YOU had the baby, not him, not "we") and now that you're divorced you definitely can't change him.



When you haven't heard from him in a few months file for abandonment and get him out of your daughters' life forever legally and look for a REAL man.

Jodi - posted on 10/01/2009

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Tammy, how old is your daughter?



I know where you are coming from, it is tough being a single mum, but you just have to keep going for you daughter. My son was only 2 when his father and I separated (he is now 12), and it has been a long hard road. I do know that in the first year or 2 he took the attitude that I was the woman so I was going to get full custody anyway, so he kind of just disappeared thinking that would be the least hurtful to him. Once my ex realised I planning of trying to cut him out of our son's life, he made an effort at a level of participation - not a lot, but at least it was something. I think they need some time. Men deal with their fears differently than we do.

Angie - posted on 10/01/2009

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If he's not interested in your or your daughter's lives, there's nothing you can do. Be strong single mom and stay open to making your childs' father a part of her life.

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