how to keep baby happy

Stephanie - posted on 05/28/2009 ( 23 moms have responded )

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my baby is one month old and just wants to be held all the time or be nursing. if i nurse him he falls asleep and then i try to put him down but after 10 min. he wakes up. any ideas of how to get him to be ok with out nursing all the time.

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Tamara - posted on 06/01/2009

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Quoting Cindy:

I say who is more important here. Breastfeeding or mom's sanity? I don't every want to see a mom pressured into breastfeeding and being told that she's less of a person or to be made feel like she's an evil person because she is TIRED !!!! Sometimes you have to ask yourselves what are you thinking?
If you feel that you have to hold this baby 24/7 and you have to attach this baby to your boob 24/7 you are going to burn out. It will come to the point where you find yourself thinking about suicide or infantaside just to get some rest. Sometimes you have to use a SOOTHER or a BOTTLE OF FORMULA just so you can stay sane.

You are NOT a BAD PERSON or an UNFIT MOTHER.

Tamara needs a reality check. Not all babies can breastfeed, not all mom's have the time/energy. Hey, I tried, twice. No go. No support from the other half while in hospital and I lost my milk supply. But I kept trying when I got home after 2 c-sections. Both Boys would have nothing to do with it, they both had plugged noses, and all the patients of a stuck pig when it came to their feeding. With the second one I had a two year old harrassing me 24/7 about his little brother and asking why the baby was screaming all the time. I ended up expressing as much milk as I could for 3 months and mixing it 50/50 with his formula. Am I a horrible person for bottle feeding? Nope. I tried, it didn't work. Both boys are never sick, both boys are growing like weeds, both boys are really happy.

Don't let yourself get burned out, get help. If you can find the book on swaddling buy it, and Pass it on to friends. Look after you first. A bottle here or there is not going to Kill your "breastfeeding relationship", a soother is not going to lead to "Nipple confusion". You have to look after your mental health, kids are cool, they will understand and adapt.

Anybody else feel the same way I do?


You ask me which is more important, breastfeeding or a mother's sanity.  This is a false choice.  Both are equally important.  If you look at my posts, I advocate not only breastfeeding but also cosleeping and babywearing.  Cosleeping not only helps the breastfeeding relationship but allows both mother and child to get more sleep.  Also, realize that the OP's baby is only a month old.  Only 4 short weeks ago, this little one was nestled in his/her mother's uterus with every need attended to and is now thrust into this bright confusing world where if his mother leaves the room, he thinks that she is gone forever.  This is scary and confusing to the little guy.  Its little wonder that he's clinging to mom.  The desire to nurse constantly is, again, a NORMAL thing for a newborn to do. 



 



Kellymom has an absolutely amazing page on what you can do to help your sanity for the times where your child is like velcro.  http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/velcro...



 



Infant sleep, esp. that of a newborn, is notoriously erratic.  Before the age of 4 months, a baby has no circadian rhythm.  Therefore they will sleep when they wish to, not when their mother desires them to sleep.  If you look here:  http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/..., you will see that normal infant sleep is going to have a wide range of normal and that nightwaking and such are quite common.  Again, this is why I advocate cosleeping in conjunction with breastfeeding for both the health of the breastfeeding relationship and the sanity of the mother since both mother and child are less likely to rouse fully when in bed together.  This is more fully explained at the Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory at Notre Dame headed by Dr. James McKenna.  http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/articles...



 



I know you say that just one bottle won't hurt or that soother won't hurt but there is plenty of evidence to the contrary.  http://www.breastfeeding.org/bfacts/bott...



 





Increasing the likelihood of serious allergy to cows' milk protein.

Increasing the chance of bowel infection and diarrhea by changing the pH of the bowel. It may take up to a month to return to normal, safer levels.

Causing nipple confusion--having difficulty latching to the breast.

Affecting the delicate supply and demand balance.

Increasing engorgement by not emptying the breasts.

Decreasing the mother's confidence in her ability to feed her baby.

Reducing the duration of breastfeeding.



Also:





breastfed and formula-fed infants have different gut flora





breastfed babies have a lower gut pH (acidic environment) of approximately 5.1-5.4 throughout the first six weeks that is dominated by bifidobacteria with reduced pathogenic (disease-causing)

microbes such as E coli, bacteroides, clostridia, and streptococci flora with a diet-dependent pattern is present from the 4th day of life with breast milk-fed guts

showing a 47% bifidobacterium and formula-fed guts showing 15%. Enterococci prevail in formula-fed infants (Rubaltelli et al, 1998)

babies fed formula have a high gut pH of approximately 5.9-7.3 with a variety of putrefactive bacterial species in infants fed breast milk and formula supplements the mean pH is approximately 5.7-6.0 duringthe first four weeks, falling to 5.45 by the sixth week



http://www.naba-breastfeeding.org/images...



http://www.kellymom.com/bf/start/concern...



 



Your assertation that not all babies can breastfeed is true however the actual number of babies that can do so is quite small.  Around the world approximately 1% of women are unable to fully breastfeed for a variety of physical reasons.  http://books.google.com/books?id=WeH2qA_...,M1



 



I'm very sorry that you were failed by a lack of any sort of support system and quite possibly bad advice.  Nursing after a c-section is not only possible but is perfectly able to be done.  I nursed my daughter for 18 months after she was born by an unneccesary cesarean section. (Doc. in a hurry to go home for the night)



 



By no means am I accusing you or any mother that formula feeds of beng a bad person or unfit mother.  I say this as a someone who was formula fed. (A combination of near fatal hemmorage, subsequent hospital acquired infection, and massive doses of abx combined to completely remove my mother's milk supply.  I lost a third of my body weight in the first few weeks of life before my mom finally had to switch to formula because of a lack of knowledge on relactation and donor milk.  I place no blame on her whatsoever.  She was operating with the knowledge she had to hand.)  However, what I am saying is there are many steps to be taken before simply taking the leap to formula which was never intended for mass marketing in the first place.  It was originally developed for orphanages that had infants and no wetnurses or babies that were deathly ill.  The WHO also recognizes that formula is not the ideal choice of nutrition for a baby.  In listing the order of best nutrition for an infant, formula comes in fourth after donated breastmilk fed from a cup.



 



What I am trying to get across to the OP and others who may be reading and in the same situation, no matter the age of their baby, is that a bottle of formula is not in her or her baby's best interests.  Again, I deeply apologize that you were horribly failed by a lack of a support system in and out of the hospital but what I am trying to do here is support the OP and help her get through this very trying time in her breastfeeding relationship.

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[deleted account]

Honestly? Keep holding him and keep nursing him. It absolutely will get better - and soon. At only one month your baby is still learning how to regulate his eating and sleeping. For me, it was somewhere around 5-6 weeks when my baby started to space out the feedings and feed more efficiently.

Some of the things what worked for me in terms of getting him to sleep without being held were swaddling, and setting him in a Boppy pillow to sleep. I found it was mostly about keeping him warm and slightly upright, and then I could transfer it easily out of my arms when he slept. You can even try warming the mattress before you set him down. But you'll likely have a lot of trouble if you try to set him flat on his back in the crib.

LaCi - posted on 06/06/2009

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Nico always did well with swaddlers, he just needed to be wrapped tight to be happy.

[deleted account]

It's a tough time the first 4-8 weeks but it does end and it does get better. at your stage my daughter used to feed for 45 minutes sleep for 45 minutes feed for 45 minutes..... and so on all night and had to be held all day long. I got NOTHING done except hold her and feed her. Slowly she got confidence in the world and started to feed less frequently and I could put her down. Her sister was okay during the day adn didn't need to be held much at all but fed almost non stop from 7pm until midnight before settling down to sleep for a few hours. Neither of my daughters would take a soother and only reluctantly took a bottle of expressed milk. All babies are different, and some take longer to settle into the world than others, but there is light at the end of the tunnel it won't go on forever. keep up the breastfeeding. You've done fantastic to get this far. Every day it gets a little better. Just sleep whenever you can and remember to eat and drink water.

[deleted account]

My daughter is 6 months old now, and completely different than my son was, who is nine years old now. I've learned that if I wrap a blanket over her while feeding (the thicker the blanket the better) then when I go to lay her down, the blanket allows me to transfer her to her crib or bouncer with no loss of heat or abrupt movements, so she stays asleep.

She slept through the night from the moment of birth ***you should really let your doctor and every single nurse who comes into your room that you are breastfeeding, whether they ask you or not, so you can fortify that request, let your expecting friends know this*** but she would eventually wake up now and again at 2 or 3am. I used the little pad you use to keep them on their backs and would put it beside me and her in it on her side and would breastfeed there in bed and go back to sleep. I am not an exceptionally heavy sleeper, or I might have passed on this, but I knew if I felt the pad, that I was close and it would wake me up enough to note both our positions. Also I have a king sized bed so there was plenty of room to turn away or scoot over with her in the middle of my husband and I.

In the very youngest, smallest stages of life, a Sleepywrap does wonders. SleepyWrap.com is where you can find them. I have learned I can feed her, keep her close and type on the computer, or make my son a peanut butter and jelly, or vaccuum and clean house without breakinging her from feeding, even go to the bathroom without having to worry about putting her down ; ) Sleepywrap has been a lifesaver. (She's a little big now for some of these uses, but I can still feed and keep her close while I'm on the computer.)

She will not use a plug (pacifier), but she really doesn't need one, she's pretty content. I have to agree with one of the gals above that the time does fly, my son is nine years old now, I'm a lot more tolerant to the "difficult" times with an infant than I was with him because I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel, so when my daughter nurses for 45 minutes, doesn't let me put her down, or uses me as a pacifier, I'm okay with that because they change so fast I know she'll be headed to preschool in no time. But I've definitely had my moments of frustration anyway. When she's fed, dry and I've tried everything to make her comfy but she still cries, I put her in her crib and walk away for my own sanity. I even began vaccuming once to hide the noise for five minutes, lo and behold when I turned the vaccum off she was quiet! just looking around and she stayed that way til she fell asleep. That only worked one or two more times, but like I said, they are always changing. Do what you can, then just let her cry for a bit, checking on her every five, ten or fifteen minutes. For some reason, it always helped to do one chore while I did this. "Okay, I'll dust the television, wash my hands and check on her. Now I'll fold the laundry and check on her." and so on. At least I got a few things done and knew she was safe in her bed, even if she was pissed at me.



No matter how many suggestions you get, you'll find that the more you work with your child and experiment, the more likely you are to discover what unique trick works for them that no one could have thought of but you and will only work for your kid. Even when my daughter was three months old, if she got bored with her toys, my boobs, or would not sleep, I'd give her something unusual to play with, like a mixing spoon or my checkbook cover. Baby toys are great, but lets face it, they will never use them again in their lives, a spoon and a checkbook though...; ) As long as you are there interacting and supervising, let her hold and play with anything that grabs her attention. Two caveats though: if you have young children, I'd be careful what you let them see you do so they don't try to copy, and of course the most obvious, don't leave them unatteded with the item if it isn't child proof.



It takes an enormous amount of your attention if they aren't feeding or holding them to keep them content, no one tells you when you are pregnant that just because you are free of your child from the uterus, that you will enter a different kind of "lock-up" when they are born. Best thing for you is to accept that this phase will pass and they will be running around in no time. The fact that my girl is already 6 months old blows my mind. Only two or three times did I wish we could move on to the next stages, but the other 70% of the time, I wish she'd just stay tiny and needy forever...until she starts screaming when I try to watch my shows.... : )



Good Luck, You'll do fine. The fact that you are concerned proves what an attentive and loving mommy you are, so hang in there and always accept help from family and friends when you can.



~jen

[deleted account]

My daughter is 6 months old now, and completely different than my son was, who is nine years old now. I've learned that if I wrap a blanket over her while feeding (the thicker the blanket the better) then when I go to lay her down, the blanket allows me to transfer her to her crib or bouncer with no loss of heat or abrupt movements, so she stays asleep.

She slept through the night from the moment of birth ***you should really let your doctor and every single nurse who comes into your room that you are breastfeeding, whether they ask you or not, so you can fortify that request, let your expecting friends know this*** but she would eventually wake up now and again at 2 or 3am. I used the little pad you use to keep them on their backs and would put it beside me and her in it on her side and would breastfeed there in bed and go back to sleep. I am not an exceptionally heavy sleeper, or I might have passed on this, but I knew if I felt the pad, that I was close and it would wake me up enough to note both our positions. Also I have a king sized bed so there was plenty of room to turn away or scoot over with her in the middle of my husband and I.

In the very youngest, smallest stages of life, a Sleepywrap does wonders. SleepyWrap.com is where you can find them. I have learned I can feed her, keep her close and type on the computer, or make my son a peanut butter and jelly, or vaccuum and clean house without breakinging her from feeding, even go to the bathroom without having to worry about putting her down ; ) Sleepywrap has been a lifesaver. (She's a little big now for some of these uses, but I can still feed and keep her close while I'm on the computer.)

She will not use a plug (pacifier), but she really doesn't need one, she's pretty content. I have to agree with one of the gals above that the time does fly, my son is nine years old now, I'm a lot more tolerant to the "difficult" times with an infant than I was with him because I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel, so when my daughter nurses for 45 minutes, doesn't let me put her down, or uses me as a pacifier, I'm okay with that because they change so fast I know she'll be headed to preschool in no time. But I've definitely had my moments of frustration anyway. When she's fed, dry and I've tried everything to make her comfy but she still cries, I put her in her crib and walk away for my own sanity. I even began vaccuming once to hide the noise for five minutes, lo and behold when I turned the vaccum off she was quiet! just looking around and she stayed that way til she fell asleep. That only worked one or two more times, but like I said, they are always changing. Do what you can, then just let her cry for a bit, checking on her every five, ten or fifteen minutes. For some reason, it always helped to do one chore while I did this. "Okay, I'll dust the television, wash my hands and check on her. Now I'll fold the laundry and check on her." and so on. At least I got a few things done and knew she was safe in her bed, even if she was pissed at me.



No matter how many suggestions you get, you'll find that the more you work with your child and experiment, the more likely you are to discover what unique trick works for them that no one could have thought of but you and will only work for your kid. Even when my daughter was three months old, if she got bored with her toys, my boobs, or would not sleep, I'd give her something unusual to play with, like a mixing spoon or my checkbook cover. Baby toys are great, but lets face it, they will never use them again in their lives, a spoon and a checkbook though...; ) As long as you are there interacting and supervising, let her hold and play with anything that grabs her attention. Two caveats though: if you have young children, I'd be careful what you let them see you do so they don't try to copy, and of course the most obvious, don't leave them unatteded with the item if it isn't child proof.



It takes an enormous amount of your attention if they aren't feeding or holding them to keep them content, no one tells you when you are pregnant that just because you are free of your child from the uterus, that you will enter a different kind of "lock-up" when they are born. Best thing for you is to accept that this phase will pass and they will be running around in no time. The fact that my girl is already 6 months old blows my mind. Only two or three times did I wish we could move on to the next stages, but the other 70% of the time, I wish she'd just stay tiny and needy forever...until she starts screaming when I try to watch my shows.... : )



Good Luck, You'll do fine. The fact that you are concerned proves what an attentive and loving mommy you are, so hang in there and always accept help from family and friends when you can.



~jen

Elisabet - posted on 06/05/2009

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I didn't breastfeed my daughter because I had a c-section and the nurses gave her a bottle, by the time she came to me she didn't want to latch. Then when I came home my cut opened up...it was just horrible and no matter what I tried it just didn't work and soon my supply dried out. She's 11 mos old yesterday, has never been sick and is always at percentile (or little over) at her well baby check ups. She has hit every milestone at age and even some earlier than most kids. Every kid is obviously not equal...but my point here is, as I am typing this she is sitting on my lap and is refusing all atempts from her dad to pick her up. We, since day one have had a close bond, even with her being bottle fed and not always having me do it (dad and grandparents liked to steal her away for feeding too). She loved the fisher price jungle swing when she was about one month old to six months old, I couldn't always hold her because my cut took 7 mos to heal, which killed me when all I wanted to do was snuggle but couldn't bare the pain of a gaping hole in my abdomen. I didn't like the co sleeping because of the risk of SIDS and I was afraid of rolling on her! So until she couldn't fit in it anymore I had her sleep right next to me in a bassinet, pack and plays work great too. Now that she is bigger we do the co sleep every so often and she loves it. Kids go through stages, just when you get a routine down they'll change on you. It will get better. Only YOU know what is best for your child so don't feel bad for doing whatever you need to do to keep baby happy and yourself healthy to take care of baby!

[deleted account]

look u asked 4 help and i just told wat i was told if u r oona all every person that they r rong dont ask go 2 the hospital or somthing u have only agreed with 1 person one this god woman i am only trying 2 juve u some advise i no how hard it is u no u r not the only person who has had this problem i very well did myself and the advice my midwife gave me was very good and helped me and my pertner alot if u r so up 2 date with the CIO go 2 them 4 help

Tamara - posted on 06/01/2009

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Quoting Marnie:

well thet is wat i did and my 1 yr old son is in perfict ruteen this is wat i did and my midwife told me that is was the correct thing 2 do maybe u should tru formula maybe ur son is not getting full enuogh fom ur brest milk


I'm sorry you were given such poor advice by your midwife.  She must not have been keeping up with the research showing the detrimients of CIO that have been coming out for the past 20 years or better.  Formula is not going to fix anything because nothing is broken.  Breastmilk is perfectly designed for babies and digests in about 90 minutes.  With a baby's stomach only being the size of his fist, he's going to need to eat fairly often.  Again, this is NORMAL.  There's nothing wrong with what the OP's baby is doing.

[deleted account]

well thet is wat i did and my 1 yr old son is in perfict ruteen this is wat i did and my midwife told me that is was the correct thing 2 do maybe u should tru formula maybe ur son is not getting full enuogh fom ur brest milk

Tamara - posted on 06/01/2009

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Quoting Marnie:

i no is sound a bit mean but my lil 1 did that and i was told 2 just let him cry or if he dose'nt cry when u put him down just leave him he will put him self 2 sleep and when he crys if he is realy tired he will fall asleep if not then pick him up and try again
just remember the early days if the best time 2 put them in a good ruteen trust e it getts easer ur lil 1 just knows at the moment as soon as u put him down if he crys u will pick his back up

best of luck


Even the staunchest CIO advocates do not recommend doing this before at least 4 months of age due to the fact that a baby has NO circadian rhythm at this time.

Sarah - posted on 06/01/2009

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Quoting Cindy:

Tamara said
I'm sorry but adding a bottle of formula will only mess up a breastfeeding relationship and cause supply issues. Breastmilk is digested in about 90 minutes as its the PERFECT food for babies in addition, their little stomachs are only the size of their tiny fists.. So yes, the little guy feels full for a time but his body processes it so easily that he needs to eat more shortly. What the OP is going through is perfectly normal in a breastfeeding relationship and should not be sabotaged, no matter how well meaning the intentions.

I say who is more important here. Breastfeeding or mom's sanity? I don't every want to see a mom pressured into breastfeeding and being told that she's less of a person or to be made feel like she's an evil person because she is TIRED !!!! Sometimes you have to ask yourselves what are you thinking?
If you feel that you have to hold this baby 24/7 and you have to attach this baby to your boob 24/7 you are going to burn out. It will come to the point where you find yourself thinking about suicide or infantaside just to get some rest. Sometimes you have to use a SOOTHER or a BOTTLE OF FORMULA just so you can stay sane.

You are NOT a BAD PERSON or an UNFIT MOTHER.

Tamara needs a reality check. Not all babies can breastfeed, not all mom's have the time/energy. Hey, I tried, twice. No go. No support from the other half while in hospital and I lost my milk supply. But I kept trying when I got home after 2 c-sections. Both Boys would have nothing to do with it, they both had plugged noses, and all the patients of a stuck pig when it came to their feeding. With the second one I had a two year old harrassing me 24/7 about his little brother and asking why the baby was screaming all the time. I ended up expressing as much milk as I could for 3 months and mixing it 50/50 with his formula. Am I a horrible person for bottle feeding? Nope. I tried, it didn't work. Both boys are never sick, both boys are growing like weeds, both boys are really happy.

Don't let yourself get burned out, get help. If you can find the book on swaddling buy it, and Pass it on to friends. Look after you first. A bottle here or there is not going to Kill your "breastfeeding relationship", a soother is not going to lead to "Nipple confusion". You have to look after your mental health, kids are cool, they will understand and adapt.

Anybody else feel the same way I do?


i agree whole heartedly!



to the OP, have you tried a swaddle?? best things ever in my opinion!! :)

Cindy - posted on 06/01/2009

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Tamara said

I'm sorry but adding a bottle of formula will only mess up a breastfeeding relationship and cause supply issues. Breastmilk is digested in about 90 minutes as its the PERFECT food for babies in addition, their little stomachs are only the size of their tiny fists.. So yes, the little guy feels full for a time but his body processes it so easily that he needs to eat more shortly. What the OP is going through is perfectly normal in a breastfeeding relationship and should not be sabotaged, no matter how well meaning the intentions.



I say who is more important here. Breastfeeding or mom's sanity? I don't every want to see a mom pressured into breastfeeding and being told that she's less of a person or to be made feel like she's an evil person because she is TIRED !!!! Sometimes you have to ask yourselves what are you thinking?

If you feel that you have to hold this baby 24/7 and you have to attach this baby to your boob 24/7 you are going to burn out. It will come to the point where you find yourself thinking about suicide or infantaside just to get some rest. Sometimes you have to use a SOOTHER or a BOTTLE OF FORMULA just so you can stay sane.



You are NOT a BAD PERSON or an UNFIT MOTHER.



Tamara needs a reality check. Not all babies can breastfeed, not all mom's have the time/energy. Hey, I tried, twice. No go. No support from the other half while in hospital and I lost my milk supply. But I kept trying when I got home after 2 c-sections. Both Boys would have nothing to do with it, they both had plugged noses, and all the patients of a stuck pig when it came to their feeding. With the second one I had a two year old harrassing me 24/7 about his little brother and asking why the baby was screaming all the time. I ended up expressing as much milk as I could for 3 months and mixing it 50/50 with his formula. Am I a horrible person for bottle feeding? Nope. I tried, it didn't work. Both boys are never sick, both boys are growing like weeds, both boys are really happy.



Don't let yourself get burned out, get help. If you can find the book on swaddling buy it, and Pass it on to friends. Look after you first. A bottle here or there is not going to Kill your "breastfeeding relationship", a soother is not going to lead to "Nipple confusion". You have to look after your mental health, kids are cool, they will understand and adapt.



Anybody else feel the same way I do?

Jennifer - posted on 05/28/2009

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You need to read the book "How to have the Happiest Baby on the Block" by Harvey Karp! And buy a swaddling blanket called 1-2-3 Swaddle. here's the web site! http://www.swaddledesigns.com/ I swear by both of them! I did not swaddle my oldest for the first two months of his life and I went crazy with all that, eat, nook, lick, sleep, lay him down, Moro reflex kicks in and up in 30 minutes stuff! Once I started swaddling him, life was good. My twins, born when our son was 21 months old came out in a swaddle and a side by side swing. ha ha. My youngest the same. If you want to sleep and you want them to sleep, I would suggest the blanket and it has directions on how to swaddle. It is going to be hard the first couple of times you do it, but trust what you read in the book. It works and it makes sense!

Sybil - posted on 05/28/2009

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I had the same problem with my son...i honestly never could get him to latch on correctly and there were more problems with the breastfeeding as well...Doc told me if they are nursing longer than like 20 minz (10 on each side) then theyh are just using u as a pacifier...since breastfeeding wasn't working out i ended up bottle feeding..but that one on one time is really important but when i needed a break i would put him in the swing..seemed to entertain him for a while

Lisa - posted on 05/28/2009

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I remember my little man going threw that too. I had some help, but sometimes I just felt like I can't go on if I don't get a little sleep. Some times I would put him in his swing and tuck a blanket around him. The rocking motion and calm music would put keep him sleeping for a good 20 mins to half hour, just long enough for me to have a quick cat nap.

Tamara - posted on 05/28/2009

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Quoting Cindy:

I'm a bottle feeding mom. But, I agree and have used the pacifier, and the sneeky swaddling (mimic being held) My youngest is a mommys boy and drove me crazy for 5 months. Until I could prop his bottle just so and swaddle him just so I could only get an hour of rest at a time. Now that he is 10 months he sleeps 12 hours plus two 2+ hour naps a day. He started being less needy when I felt he could handle more babyfood (5 months old.)
So, I am not saying feed him food. I'm saying try to hang in there. It will get better if you can get him to stop sleeping while feeding. If you can get a friend over to cuddle with him every now and then so you can sleep or atleast rest, do it. If you can express a bottle or two extra, you can get someone to feed him and cuddle while you recharge. You might even want to pick up a bottle of premixed formula and give him the odd feeding of that just to fill him up. But after you feed him formula EXPRESS your milk. Trust me.
Good luck.


I'm sorry but adding a bottle of formula will only mess up a breastfeeding relationship and cause supply issues.  Breastmilk is digested in about 90 minutes as its the PERFECT food for babies in addition, their little stomachs are only the size of their tiny fists..  So yes, the little guy feels full for a time but his body processes it so easily that he needs to eat more shortly.  What the OP is going through is perfectly normal in a breastfeeding relationship and should not be sabotaged, no matter how well meaning the intentions.

Cindy - posted on 05/28/2009

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I'm a bottle feeding mom. But, I agree and have used the pacifier, and the sneeky swaddling (mimic being held) My youngest is a mommys boy and drove me crazy for 5 months. Until I could prop his bottle just so and swaddle him just so I could only get an hour of rest at a time. Now that he is 10 months he sleeps 12 hours plus two 2+ hour naps a day. He started being less needy when I felt he could handle more babyfood (5 months old.)

So, I am not saying feed him food. I'm saying try to hang in there. It will get better if you can get him to stop sleeping while feeding. If you can get a friend over to cuddle with him every now and then so you can sleep or atleast rest, do it. If you can express a bottle or two extra, you can get someone to feed him and cuddle while you recharge. You might even want to pick up a bottle of premixed formula and give him the odd feeding of that just to fill him up. But after you feed him formula EXPRESS your milk. Trust me.

Good luck.

Tamara - posted on 05/28/2009

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Do you babywear? I know I repeat this a lot but it really honestly is a life and sanity saver. You can nurse in the sling and keep your LO close to you w/o tying up your hands.

Rachael - posted on 05/28/2009

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Have you tried keeping him awake when you are nursing so he gets full? My daughter ate about every 2 hours at that age but she would lay down and take a nap if I kept her awake during feedings. I tried all kinds of things to keep her awake. stripping her to her diaper (a nurse told me they get warm and comfy and fall asleep) tapping her foot, tickling her, putting my cold drink on her foot, talking to her, rubbing her back or running my hand on head, holding her hand and playing with it. My daughter wanted to be held all of the time too and still does because she is very curious and wants to see and be a part of whatever anyone is doing.

Kathleen - posted on 05/28/2009

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Watch out for him using you as a pacifier. Are you using one? When they are that young they love being held, its not that uncommon. So you have one of those backpack things? I used that when I had to so some things, but not cooking:) They seem to enjoy that, the movement, coziness, and lights.

Leonor - posted on 05/28/2009

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sometimes baby just want to be held so you may want to try is to get a light blanket like a receiving blanket wrap your baby up while you nursing him but not real tight enough so he feels he is snuggle and when he falls asleep carefully put him down and make sure he is lying on his side with a soft pillow behind his back.. The pillow works has your arms so he will think you are still holding him..I hope I have helped..My youngest is 19 years and that is what I use to do for him..I hope I have helped you..Good luck..

[deleted account]

Congrats on the new baby! I remember those early days and yes, those newborns can want a lot from mommy, can't they? Do you have anyone around to help you? I know that my little ones still needed me to nurse them and hold them a lot at a month old and sometimes it seemed like they'd nurse for 45 minutes, poop, and then want to nurse again 15 minutes later. They'd fall asleep while they were nursing and if I dared to put them down they'd be awake wanting to be held and nurse again! It can be a lot to adjust to, I know, but this time flies past so quickly. And I also remember when mine were that size, at least, they would poop with each feeding and I was just SO exhausted I just wanted another pair of hands (and breasts!) sometimes, but now that they're 7yo and almost 3, I know that if you blink, they're so much bigger and that time is gone.



It's normal for them to want to be close to mommy at that age, and I mean it when I said it felt like my little ones would nurse for 45 minutes, poop, and then want to nurse again 15 minutes later. But that eased up and the nursings spaced out around 8 to 10 weeks. For some babies it happens sooner and for some later, but it will happen. Do you have a sling or wrap to carry your baby in? Sometimes having a sling to keep your baby close to you helps them sleep better and frees up your hands a bit and you can just sit and rest with your baby in a sling a bit easier while he nurses. Also, are you using a boppy? Maybe that'll help too when you're sitting and nursing. This time will ease up soon. It will! Hang in there.

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