how to show you daughter how to use tampons

Della - posted on 05/28/2012

I've been using the Diva Cup for 4 days now and I LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!! I don't see me using pads ever again! And I'm DEFINITELY NEVER USING TAMPONS EVER AGAIN!! My pain was much less then is normal for me. It was like since the product was in there on my cervix it was giving pressure or suport to it and it helped lessen my cramps or something, especially the sharper ones. Not sure if that was the reason but that is my guess. I didn't have any leaks. No swelling and breakouts from the pads I always had to deal with before. ( I have an allergy to bleach ) I cant even tell there is anything in there! And I've always felt tampons. I keep finding my self reminding my self I'm even having my period. Since I do have a heavy flow I did have to empty it often for a couple days. Yesterday I had some clotting, normally its worse then that and I can tell by the pain I'm passing one, this didn't happen to me this time. Maybe it helped with that to or maybe I had smaller ones to deal with this time around, I'm not sure. Thankfully there were a lot of helpful YouTube video's out there about the products use and trouble shooting. I honestly didn't think things where going to go this well! I told my teenage daughter about the cup but also said I clearly felt you need to be a non virgin for this device. I called my sister to tell her about it but she wasn't home. I cant Wait to tell all my female family members and friends!

Pamela - posted on 05/27/2012

Of course. Just demonstrate it yourself. They come right out with a tug. Why is that so difficult for you? The body parts are all the same. Hopefully you are not so ashamed of your own body that you cannot give this simple demonstration to your own daughter.

The highest and best to both of you.

Mona - posted on 05/21/2012

that is great down be afraid and start talking with her the more you wait the harder it is. I found it brought us closer,honestly.its such a personal thing that everything else seems regular lol if you need help or wanna chat more send me a private message:)

Autumn - posted on 05/21/2012

Faith Estes, I want to be the same way for my daughter. My two year old daughter goes into the bathroom with me and has seen me change my tampon. She asked me what I was doing. She's only 26 months old, so it's hard to explain. At least she'll see that I'm doing something that will be part of her natural life someday. I wasn't raised to be so open with my mother when I was growing up. I was an awkward child, so I was embarrassed with any personal/sexual subjects. Kids shouldn't grow up believing that you should be ashamed of natural things.

Faith - posted on 05/20/2012

I know I didn't answer the question about what I as a mom will do with the period convo.. My daughter is only 3....but I'm already pretty open with her... She sees me naked, the bathroom is open and she's always welcome, she's seen me use pads and seen blood, we talk openly and I answer an questions she has without over flooding her small mind, she goes to doctors with me, and has seen pregnancy and ovulation test.. I try not to keep anything from her and I try to answer her questions no matter how odd they may be because I want her to feel comfortable and confident.. And I want her to know she can come to me with ANYTHING, no matter how small or big... I'd rather her come to me than go to her friends who might be as uneducated as she is... My mother was always open with me.. I went to her for everything... She told me everything about sex and anything else I had questions about.. I want my daughter to feel she can ask me anything too.

Donna - posted on 05/20/2012

I have been really interested in this post. I have a 10 year old daughter and I know I have to have the Period talk like yesterday. I am noticing a big difference in her in this past year. I know I started my period when I was in Fifth grade (early on in the year). She is just now finishing up Fourth Grade, so this talk is overdue. Reading this posts give me confidence in this discussion. I am a very private person and my daughter is so NOT.... It's so funny sometimes. Just so you know; I think you handled that very nicely. Congrats to you and your daughter! Thanks for this post. It's nice to know how other mothers handle that kind of discussion. I am actually looking forward to this topic now and hope that I can handle the "tampon" talk as well as you did!

Fiona - posted on 05/20/2012

Michele Wood

How will you stop your daughter using tampons? My Mum told me that you couldn't use tampons unless you were married, that you died if you slept in one, that your period stopped if you washed your hair and loads of other really unhelpful things. I used tampax in secret and kept them under my bed with my cigarrettes! I became a lifelong tampon wearer, but luckily I didn't take up smoking. So if I had been very unlucky and started displaying symptoms of toxaemia my Mum would not have picked up on it. So surely honesty is the best policy. Also your post mention stopping the flow etc, by the time the flow reaches a tampon it has already left . A friend showed me how to put one in at the swimming pool.

Autumn - posted on 05/20/2012

Della: Yeah, I did have it all mixed up. I was halfway looking at posts. I'm straight now, though. The Instead product looks awful! It's really wide, and I could only imagine how uncomfortable it feels! The reusable silicone cup looked like it might be comfortable, though. I'm going to stick to what I know, though. I'm really comfortable using tampons. I just hate it on my heavy days. My period used to be MUCH heavier. The second day of my period is always the heaviest. Before I had my daughter, I used to go through a Super Plus tampon within an hour on the second day of my period. Now, the length and flow of my period is manageable, thank goodness.

Della - posted on 05/19/2012

Autumn: I think you maybe getting my multiple posts confused. There is a menstrual cup that has a video attached to these posts one the first page. And then there is the "Instead" which is TOTALLY different then the actual menstrual cup! "Instead" may claim to be a cup, but its more like a humongous pouch with a hard rubber ring. That was the item I had issues with. I've yet to use the cup. I just purchased the Diva Cup at a local food store here. I wanted the Luna Cup but they didn't have one. I may have to order it online if I find I like the Diva but its to long. I'm concerned it may be a bit long for me. I'm short, lol. Its the longest one made and seams to be more widely known in the US then the others. Not sure why that is other then the Menstrual Cup seams to be big in the UK.
link to the "Instead"
http://youtu.be/2drNCv9ac1I

Faith - posted on 05/19/2012

I know that the mom who asked the question has already showed her daughter how to use a tampon, but I just wanted to remind you to teach your daughter to ALWAYS double check to make sure the string in securely attached before she inserts it... I had a friend put one in once and when she tried to pull it out the string broke and she had to have a Dr remove the tampon. :-). Also, to the women who spoke of heavy flow and discomfort with tampons, have you been checked for endometriosis??? I've suffered from it since my 20's.. I'm now in my mid 30's... And I had to stop wearing tampons many years ago because I'd bleed through and they hurt badly.. My Dr informed me that sometimes tampons can aggravate the disease greatly... I'm going to try having a stimulator implanted in my back that blocks pain impulse to nerves in my uterus, ovaries, and pelvic region as a last ditch effort to avoid a hysterectomy and possibly have another child... Maybe you should also be checked for endometriosis... Especially if intercourse is also painful and if you have VERY painful cramps during your period too.

Mazy - posted on 05/19/2012

I didn't read all of the post, but I certainly remember my adolescent years. First of all, my mom usually kept the bathroom door open when we were really little & I remember the fact that she used a tampon (that helped me when it was time for me to use one...helped me in the sense that it was "normal" and I wasn't squeamish). I had also read the directions with the little diagrams myself. Also, my middle school had a health class that we had once a week or so for all three years. That class they separated boys & girls & talked about periods, tampons, etc. so she may be getting some information there. I wouldn't stress it too much. The next time it comes up, you can ask her if she has any questions about them or how to use them & just give her the straight answer. If she doesn't want to pursue a conversation on the topic, I would just let it be for now. GOOD LUCK!

Michele - posted on 05/19/2012

I would never let my daughter use them. They can b dangerous not to mention toxic and they dont allow ur body to release all the hormones old eggs its supposed to if its plugged up~~~ Thats my opinion

Tamara - posted on 05/19/2012

just make sure she uses nothing bigger than a REGULAR size tampon. she is probably not going to want to be deflowered by a cotton swab tube! at 14 nothing heavier absorbancy should b needed....also reduces risk of TSS(toxic shock syndrome) if we use smaller tampons and chng. more often

Lisa - posted on 05/19/2012

I tried the cup! I am also very heavy and it just didn't do the job. Great for "normal" women or at least on light days, but not if you're seriously heavy. It does collect the blood but you need to empty it very regularly even though it does hold more than a tampon. Its the emptying that can be a pain.. gets everywhere because theres just too much flow and it doesnt deal with heavy large clots well either which is particularly difficult when you are out and about. I doubt I have the exact same model as mentioned above as its not a new idea and has been around for many years ,however i did a lot of research and got the biggest capacity and the most well thought of amongst women who declared they had heavy periods. Clearly theres heavy and Heavy! :D

Autumn - posted on 05/19/2012

Della D'Amore: Oh, I saw a post in this thread with a video that showed a menstrual cup that can be reused. I thought they were all reusable. (Just realized that I read Jana's wrong). Lol. Your experience sounds awful. I think I'll just stick to tampons and back up my heavy days at work with a pad. My husband hates when I'm on my period, too. Men are so horny. :/

Paola - posted on 05/19/2012

I learned by reading directions. I would not want my mom to give me a demonstration and I would not won't her helping me insert one!

Jean - posted on 05/18/2012

tampax pearl - - gentle but good absorbancy, easy to insert, doesn't scratch, and doesn't pinch when pushing on the plunger....... and they have a "junior" size (if you can find it)

Terrie - posted on 05/18/2012

Arica, I am not going to jump on your case about what you said about your daughter and the pads. However, I do believe that having her wear them before she needs them really unessary. She could start now, or she may not start for another couple years. She may be showing signs of puberty, but when it comes the her starting her cycle, that is more of a weight related thing.

Now to the orginal post. I think showing her the instructions and explaining it to her should be sufficiant. I remember using my first tampon and it was not that difficult to understand. Although I found out quickly that I did not like them. I don't have a heavy flow and my cycle only last three days. And before everyone wonders if that is normal and should I see a dr, it is normal and I have seen a dr. lol But anyway, tampons and short cycles don't mix.

Laura - posted on 05/18/2012

Arica, are you kidding?? Why would you try to shame your daughter regarding something that is completely natural?

Arica - posted on 05/18/2012

My mom showed me how to use them, but I had bad experiences with them and refuse to use them again. I would say demonstrating might be a good idea unless your daughter is too squeamish about that. Otherwise, just show her the instructions and explain to her how to put one in and take it out. Some girls/women use them only when they go swimming and so they can wear clothes for other occasions, and others use them religiously and don't use regular pads.

I've been trying to get my 11-year-old to start using panty shields to keep herself fresh and get used to wearing them for when she starts her time, and she just refuses to wear them. I've told her that her father and I will not like having to wash her messed clothes because she refused to use her feminines. Her father doesn't have the stomach for it. We know that she can start at any time.

Della - posted on 05/18/2012

Autumn: I tried the Instead. It says one size fits all and that is so untrue! I had nothing but problems with the things. They are disposable not reusable. To insert properly you wedge it in the canal long ways to where the one end is hooked on the far side of your cervix and the other side is held in place by pushing up against your pubic bone. The thing was so large it hurt constantly putting pressure on the bone. And if I sneezed Forget It! I was in an embarrassing situation! My husband and I were out somewhere and I had put the Instead thing in and when I sneezed it popped out and the blood that had collected in the cup gushed out and threw my clothing. In Public! It was So Embarrassing! He liked the idea of the claim on the box that you could used the Instead and have "Clean Sex" while on your monthly's so he urged me that I must have done something wrong and to continue using them for a while to get the hang of it. It never did work right for me. And I finally put my foot down and told him to get over it. There is forums and YouTube video's with comments below about the product as well. Most women find them to not work but a few seam to love them. Good Luck!

Theresa - posted on 05/18/2012

I never heard of the menstrual cup, but this video was very informative and I'm considering giving it a try.

Katharine - posted on 05/18/2012

Tell her to read the directions that come in the package. They are very clear and come with a diagram.

Heather - posted on 05/18/2012

Show her pictures inside the box, the insert, and you let her practice. She is only going to learn to do it, by actually, doing it. You tell her to gently push the tampon inside, and then push the dispenser to insert the tampon. If it hurts while she's pushing it or after, it's in the wrong place. If a tampon isn't put into the correct spot inside, it can cause pain. She will know personally if it's in there right or not. But by a cheapy box, and let her practice.

Francine - posted on 05/18/2012

There are instructions in the box, pass them to her.

Ann - posted on 05/18/2012

im 43 now and my mom taught me with an OB. I hated it. I didnt like the idea of my hand getting all bloody, so I used a smelly pad for years......... I had so wished, later, several years later, that she should have told me that there were tampons with applicators!
Before choosing OB for your teen....please consider my story :)

Terri - posted on 05/18/2012

Y O U T U B E !!!!!!!

Hush - posted on 05/18/2012

My mum got me to put my for on the toilet to begin with after she showed me using an empty toilet roll as an example prior

Sally - posted on 05/18/2012

I don't remember how or when i started using tampons but i always have. I did have to show my little sister cos my mum freaked out at the thought of showing her. I remember just trying to keep it as calm and business like as possible.

Aleks - posted on 05/18/2012

I've learned how to use them by reading the packet and looking at the instructions MYSELF!!!

If she is interested, she will be able to figure out herself, I am sure.
The last thing I would have wanted was to see my mum insert a tampon herself as a demonstration let alone insert one for me!
I am just sooooo disturbed by that thought!!! I mean, my mum hasn't washed me or even seen me naked in years at age 14 (let alone me her), that having her looking at me down there would have been extemelly awkward!!! To say the least.

Look, unless your daughter asks for your help, or somehow lets you know that she is confused and can't figure it out, then may be suggest that if she wants *you* to help her in figuring things out, then sure. Other than that. DON'T!!!!!

Elizabeth - posted on 05/18/2012

My mom handed me the instructions, and I was very pleased to learn it myself. *blink*

Autumn - posted on 05/17/2012

Jana Evans, I'd like to know more about the cup. I didn't even know it existed until I started reading in this thread. Lol. I was wondering, how messy does it get when you have to take it out and clean it when it's filled up? It sounds like something you couldn't do outside the comfort/privacy of your bathroom at home. Also, how much do they hold, and how long do they last on your heavy days before they need to be removed and changed? I think I might invest in one if they're not too complicated or messy. I hate working on my heavy days. My period never fails to come at the most inconvenient times. >_>

Jana - posted on 05/17/2012

Those asking about the cup, in the states they have disposable ones brand named Instead. I have been able to get them at Fred Meyer and Walmart. Flooding has also been an issue for me, so I use a cup and a pad on heavy days, just the cup when the flow lightens and it works well. Nice thing is that there is no soreness that can happen with tampons. I haven't used tampons in roughly 15 years now because the cup works longer and better for me. They collect twice as much as the most absorbent tampon and have little or no chance of tss because they don't absorb. The only issue is that you have to be comfortable with your body and emptying the cup etc.

Amanda - posted on 05/17/2012

My mom got me a box and said go for it. I had no choice to learn fast as I was a competitive swimmer. There is also videos on the the tampax site. I know there are many ways of showing her but she may not want to see you do it. I would never want to see my mom use one or have her put one in for me. It isn't that bad if she is having problems start with the smallest then work up.

Amber - posted on 05/17/2012

My mom tried to talk me through it the first time. It did not work out. However a good friend of mind was able to talk me through it. If she has gf that are using them they maybe help her.

Della - posted on 05/17/2012

Elizabeth Schwartz: Odd you mentioned it but our family is incapable of absorbing vitamin D the normal way. We have a family disorder of some kind. We need a prescription Vitamin D thats broken down in some way since our body's are incapable of absorbing it properly. We also have Vitamin B issues. And our body's cant fight mold and it builds up in our bodys. Which is really bad and life threatening. Being deficient in Vitamin B causes menstrual cramps. Thought maybe some of you could use that tid bit of info. Midol and Pamprin never could touch the pain and some of us would actually go into shock during the beginning of our monthly's. Sorry for running off of the tampon question Mona! Glad you and your daughter are close enough to share these things and that you have this question squared away. :)

Autumn - posted on 05/17/2012

Also, like other people have said, I too would have died if my mom demonstrated how to insert a tampon. I think it would have traumatized me for life. Lol.

Autumn - posted on 05/17/2012

No one showed me how to. I had to read the instructions and figure it out myself. I was also very awkward about personal problems as a teenager, though. Good luck!

Elizabeth - posted on 05/17/2012

Just a thought with the heavy period ladies, lol! Mine were very heavy after my last child, like soaking a super tampon in an hour and a half. Anyhow, I thought it something to do with just changes when you have a baby. I recently learned I gasped a vitamin D deficiency when I complained of numbness in my hands and being tired. After taking supplements (I choose 5,000 iu instead of the 1200 my doctor recommended) my periods are now "normal". I googled it thinking it was strange and there is a ton of effects from vitamin D and they say that the majority of people are deficient. Just a thought! So glad we can discuss this, good luck ladies

Kappy - posted on 05/17/2012

The instructions are in the box w/pictures & stuff. I would have DIED if my mother had tried to "show" me!!! Ick!!

Nina - posted on 05/17/2012

when I first started using them, I didn't clearly understand and they hurt for awhile, till I realized you had to push them all the way in, I was young and was afraid it would get lost in there, so I didn't push it in any further than I had to. My daughters are grown, and I can't remember how I explained to them, but I tried to explain as much as possible to them so they would understand, and so they wouldn't hurt. I couldn't wear the super, only regular because they hurt, till it got so heavy that I could wear them because it filled up so fast. I would start with a slim or teen kind, and the plastic applicators do go in easier, so she will feel more comfortable till she gets used to it. good luck !

Maren - posted on 05/17/2012

Have her read the instructions that come in the box. I taught myself this was at around 14. After she reads the instructions ask if she has any questions and sit with her as she tries. I would suggest getting Kotex or Tampax. Both have slick plastic applicators that help it go in better, I would not net the type without and applicator as they are much more difficult to insert. Also it may help to get the smallest size so she can figure it out then work on what size she needs for her flow.

Della - posted on 05/17/2012

I've never heard of this menstrual cup before that's so cool. I've been wondering how to cut $ out of my tight budget and like Sara-lee I also have an extremely heavy flow and I also flood pads in less then 2 hours so I use the super tampon and a pad just to make it a little longer then the 2 hours when I need to. I sure hope I can find this menstrual cup in my area and that it is comfortable. I have issues with tampons not being comfortable. I assume since I have to use such big equipment down there, lol, due to my heavy flow.
FYI Sara-lee my sister had issues with both her heavy flow and the duration. So she started having a lot of medical problems due to it, anemia for a number of years at first. She had her doctor insert a balloon into her uterus and they filled the balloon with scalding saline to burn the lining of her uterus. Normally it stops a woman from having menstruals. In her case it only slowed hers down dramatically. Thought you may be interested in the info at some point since I'm looking into the procedure my self in a few years.

Sara-lee - posted on 05/17/2012

Hi - Question on the cup - I have considered one. I am very, very heavy and flood with even super tampons and through a pad aswell sometime. Would it be suitabe? Thanks.

Dawn - posted on 05/17/2012

This is the You Tube video my daughter watched and finally was able to get the hang of it after several attempts. Now she's a pro after 4 months.

Cathy - posted on 05/17/2012

It is great to see moms so open to their daughters, and here's another option for all us ladies (and a healthier/safer/more cost effective/greener option), menstrual cups.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstrual_c...
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/menstru...

www.mothering.com/community/t/540640/are-tampons-bad
In short, it's a bell shaped cup that you insert to collect your flow, typically can hold more than tampons, AND can be washed to be reused! Tampons and pads (and most disposable diapers for that matter) are said to contain a carcinogen, dioxin, due to the bleaching process to make them look "white" and "clean". The fiber in tampons can also scratch the insides and be left behind (in you). The cup does have a bit of a learning curve but once you get it, it can save you more $$ in the long run, not to mention reduce the waste that will go into landfills.. ;-) And if menstrual cups are too scary an option, there's plenty of different cloth pads that one can get online, too.
Of course, if moms are new to this, you will want to learn all there is to it and be comfortable using it before teaching your daughters.

Renee - posted on 05/17/2012

i wont let my daughter wear tampons. Pads are much better for them!!

Mona - posted on 05/17/2012

Ok !! So i did it! I brought her in the bathroom and explained the O.B specifically, and told her we can also get a brand with an applicator int he near future. So i took my pants off, which isn't a big deal we are naked in the house lots. i exaggerated the leg position buy putting a foot on the toilet. I simply wanted her to see clearly, i went through the inserting process a couple times and then i asked her if she was willing to try and she said yes. she seemed eager lol. So she puts a feet on the toilet as well but then asks me if using a tampons will hurt her clitoris! I thought to myself, we need to have an anatomy talk! So i told her to stop and we'll talk about the anatomy of ourselves. i sat on the toilet she sat on the bath ledge, and i was showing her on myself and she was mirroring me. The poor thing didn't know when her clitoris was! I thought they learned that at school?

Stephanie - posted on 05/17/2012

These are awesome! It's so inspiring to read all the posts from women who are open with their daughters. My daughters are 5 and 2 and have always followed me into the bathroom (sometimes much to my dismay! LOL) They both know what my period is and know why there's blood in the toilet, on my pad, and have watched me insert tampons, and now the Keeper mentrual cup. I want to make sure they celebrate their bodies and not hide in shame and freak out when it's their turn.

Thank you all for your posts!

Laura - posted on 05/17/2012

My daughter started her period in fourth grade and for a year had only stuff that looked like chocolate syrup. She begged and pleaded for me to allow her to use tampons, but I feared that she would be too dry. Then last summer, she announced that she had "real blood," and very logically asked if she could now have tampons. I happened to be on my period, so I actually took her in the bathroom and explained it to her before I inserted mine. I didn't show her my used one (ew ... I do have some standards), but let her watch me as I inserted the new one. I told her to aim for the top of her crack at an angle. She has never had any difficulty. I did make her show me how much blood was on them for a few tries to see if she needed a lighter size, etc. I also explained that if she took it out too soon it might feel uncomfortable because it would be dry.

I know that this also goes out to friends in the UK, so I will mention that my daughter has decided that she prefers OB, but they are very expensive where we live (Thailand). I accidentally discovered that Boots brand are similar to OB at a more reasonable price, and I actually prefer them to OB. It's easier to unwrap them! Both OB and Boots come in very slim sizes. My daughter is 12 and has never expressed that they were too big for her.

Hope this helps ...