How well do you get along with your In laws?

Megan - posted on 07/24/2011 ( 52 moms have responded )

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Mine are terrific. couldnt ask for better in laws. we get along great and we visit alot. My DH's family is very close, mine not as much since all of my brothers and sisters "grew up." its hard to stay connected.

Do you get along with your in laws or is there not a relationship w/ you and your in laws?



Is there anyone you really can't stand?

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Sabrina - posted on 07/26/2011

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Don't like my mother in law but i don't sleep with her so there for don't let it make me loose sleep she thinks her son is still like five
and trys to make me look bad every chance she gets but thank god my husband knows his mom way too well so ha going on 7 years so no worries

Jennifer - posted on 07/24/2011

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My father-in-law passed away before I met my husband, but I love my mother-in-law. She's very loving and caring, and a wonderful woman. I get along with her better than I do my own mom most of the time!

Rachel - posted on 08/08/2011

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My FIL and step-MIL are great! They live within walking distance of our house and we see them quite a lot.

On the other hand, my MIL managed to sic the Ministry of Children and Family Development on us for no reason other than she was mad at my husband. She had called up to invite him and our son (but not me or our daughter) to accompany her on a full day trip to another city where - get this - she was attending a funeral! My husband said yes at first, but then changed his mind when he remembered he had a union meeting that day.

She told the Ministry that we a) starve our children (she's a chronic overeater who will eat an entire cake by herself in one sitting), b) that I yell at the kids all the time (she doesn't yell ever, but will sulk in her room like a spoiled child if she doesn't get her way - she ruined an entire Christmas that way), c) that we don't give our children proper medical care (our son has hydrocephalus and has check-ups with 4 different doctors regulary and our daughter is perfectly healthy, but MIL is a hypochondriac) and d) that my husband - her own son - is bi-polar (he isn't, and shows none of the typical behaviours associated with that disorder, while she exhibits all of them). Of course, she claims that she didn't call them, she just went to a public health nurse to "ask some general questions for her own information" and that it was the nurse who did the calling. Even were that true, she had to know that the PHN are required to report serious issues! Besides, she did tell one outright lie in any event - my husband is NOT bi-polar.

The Ministry sent the emergency response team to our house - while my husband was at work - to notify us of the complaint, and a week later two other social workers came to interview both of us, see and talk to the kids (who are 3 and 1 and fortunately are unlikely to remember anything) and get our permission to interview our family doctor and paediatrician. They even looked in our fridge to make sure we had food for the kids!

I understand that they have to pursue all complaints, and I was impressed with the speed of their response - if there had been a real problem it would have been handled very quickly and that's a good thing - but to do it out of spite was so humiliating. Needless to say, we don't speak to her any more. She's a bit of a nutter in the first place, but that was the last straw.

Incidentally, our paediatrician was on holidays when all this went down, so it still isn't totally resolved, as they have to hear from both doctors and then contact two other references (i.e. family or friends) for references! Bleah.

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Sharmeka - posted on 11/11/2013

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Ok I'm very frustrated because i have to live with my in laws this is frustrating because my husband is a mama boy but my mil isn't the problem most of the time.mostly its my fil he has a problem with almost everything i do or don't do and i jus feel like our married life should be just that our married life I'm not saying he is a bad person but i just feel like he is melding in our marriage i feel his house and my marriage are two different things even when it comes to work i feel that is between my husband and i since i moved here i been having trouble with finding a job but my whole life i have had trouble finding a job but my husband didn't care he didn't want me to work at the time we been married for three years and now were looking for me a job but his dad told him he think I'm using him and that really hurt me even though it didn't matter to him because he knows that i love him but it hurt because my husband and i love each other very much and would do anything for each other but my whole thing is if my husband don't care then why is it up to discussion for everybody else i need done advice what is going on and what do i do cuz i am very frustrated and irritated with this man and i fear that eventually its gong to come between my husband and i

Bebe - posted on 10/16/2012

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The relationship between me and my in-laws is pretty much beyond strained--virtually non-existent, at best. Details are in my post 'The Diary of a Much-Despised DIL'. They are closed-minded, arrogant, emotionally stunted, extremely judgmental, severely misguided people. Thankfully, they live thousands of miles away (which, incidentally, is part of the reason they despise me)!

Breny - posted on 03/02/2012

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@Sabrina

I completely agree with you. Only differ is my husband is a mama's boy and is still hiding underneath her skirt. I can not seem to get him to understand that that could brake our family. :(

Tracie - posted on 07/30/2011

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MIL and SIL are the spawn of Satan. FIL is ok, but very sexist & racist. I call him out on that crap so he doesn't say it to me anymore. I wish they'd all disappear. My hubby apologizes to me regularly for having to deal with them.

Amy - posted on 07/29/2011

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I get along with my in-laws for the most part. My mil can be annoying but helps a lot with child care. My fil is pretty anti-social but he says hi when he walks past me as I'm picking up the kids. However my husband had a blow-out with his father over a year ago and hasn't spoken to him once since then. So I'm now forced to attend his family events solo because he doesn't want to be near his father.

Merry - posted on 07/29/2011

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:( that's sad. I was hoping it could be easily explained!
Well be confident theres nothing wrong with your son. It's not his fault. My grandparents favored my sister and brother over me. And I think I was the best one! Lol they were the ones with the issue, not me. And my mom always made sure I knew I was just as special as my siblings.

Sarah - posted on 07/29/2011

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And also they did stuff with the 6 year old when he was a toddler so that can't be it!

Sarah - posted on 07/29/2011

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Yes the 6 year old lives with him mum but my partners mom has him weekends, his mums family are well off and takes him lots of places so I think my mother in law tries to compete so he can go back home and say I've done this and that. As I mentioned in my last post they have taken him to the zoo today I just feel like they could of taken my son aswel. I feel it's a little unfair

Sarah - posted on 07/29/2011

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Yes the 6 year old lives with him mum but my partners mom has him weekends, his mums family are well off and takes him lots of places so I think my mother in law tries to compete so he can go back home and say I've done this and that. As I mentioned in my last post they have taken him to the zoo today I just feel like they could of taken my son aswel. I feel it's a little unfair

Tara - posted on 07/29/2011

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I don't get along with my MIL or SILs. I do get along with my DIL, but usually he hangs back because MIL makes his life miserable if he is nice to my husband and I.
My SILs haven't talked to us in 2 years because they verbally attacked both my husband and I about our choices on how to raise our kids (me SAHM working from home, him working outside the home), etc. and they stopped talking to us when my husband asked for an apology. They even suggested CPS be called because they didn't like the way we do our housekeeping.
My MIL tells my husband he is a useless, lazy good-for-nothing who is bad with money even though he's been at the same job for several years and is the only one of her four children that hasn't declared bankruptcy.
Generally they are just unpleasant to us despite our trying very hard to maintain a good relationship with them.

Merry - posted on 07/28/2011

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Sarah, does the 6 yr old have his mom in the picture? Could they just be trying to even the odds since your son has both parents together?
Just a thought. Or maybe they just don't enjoy the toddler stage as much as the older kids....I'm sure it's nothing personal against your son :)

Sarah - posted on 07/28/2011

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I get along with my mother in law but find I have to bite my Tongue! My partner has a 6 yr old son from a previous relationship and they have him stay every Friday but they won't have our 13 month over to stay because the 6 yr old "tires them out" I feel it's abit of favouritism because they booked an holiday for the eldest to take him away but my son was not originally invited until my partner asked if we could come and pay ourselves! Also they are taking him to the zoo tomorro and guess what, my son isn't invited! At first my partner said I was being silly but now he his starting to see the favouritism! Don't get me wrong she does love my son and buys him clothes and toys but in my opinion what she does for one grandchild she should do the same for the other! No problems with the father in law he's lovely

Merry - posted on 07/27/2011

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I love my inlaws alot! They took me in when my dad kicked me out, they stood up for us when my dad lied about us to everyone, they helped us plan our wedding, they helped us with car loan, they are always there to let us borrow a car, or to use their hose for anything, we house sit for them when they go on trips, they feed us alot! They buy us clothes sometimes when she has a kohls discount, they adore our kids and beg to babysit more.
They even dog sat for a few days when I was delivering my babies.
Now they aren't perfect, my mother in law is pretty annoying sometimes, she likes to talk on and on about stuff, she gossips alot, she thinks she's funny when she isn't, she embaresses herself alot, she is sort of insensitive to feelings and speaks very outrightly.
My father in law is close to perfect but he is slightly obsessed with his technology and tends to wander off and forget about us when we are over and we constantly have to pull him off the computer. But he's usually doing work stuff so it's not all bad, just we want him to visit more!
My brother in law is nice, sort of rough around the edges, he was air force and had a weird wife for a few hears but all around a good guy. A bit on the extreme side of republicans, sort of racist, and a bit sexist but usually just joking........we think. I wouldn't want him to babysit but he does adore my son! His kids like him but I question some of his parenting styles...

Angie - posted on 07/27/2011

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My mother-in-law had passed away in 1991. I do get along with my father-in-law. It has been quite awhile since I saw my sister-in-law and her family.

S - posted on 07/27/2011

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We are civil to each other but we are not friends. I tried in the beginning but after a while( year 10 of marriage) I just stopped caring. We have two wonderful children and now, when one is 6 the other 2, they are trying to "care". I've had to minimize my children's exposure to them because they do not follow my rules about acceptable tv exposure and deliberately making plans with them without first consulting us about it. I'm also never alone with them and I make sure my husband is there in order to avoid any misunderstandings. I'm glad to hear others have good experiences with their in-laws.

Amy - posted on 07/27/2011

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I get along with all in laws except one [sister in law]. Which is pretty lucky for me. I have the best mil and fil. i get along with them better than my own parents.

Toni - posted on 07/27/2011

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I LOVE my in-laws!! they have always treated me as if I was born to them. :) And My hubby LOVES my parents for the same reason! We go to Sunday lunch at my in-laws every week after church and after everything is cleaned up we play games and what not. They are a great family!! I am truly blessed♥♥

Constance - posted on 07/27/2011

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I despise my in-laws. Haven't seen or spoke to my MIL in about 8 or 9 years. They last time we went to visit for X-mas. I justabout killed her. She hit my son that was 1 1/2 for pushin buttons on the microwave. I ended up with my hand around her throat against the wall and both feet were off the ground. After I told her off and my husband peeled me off her Ipacked our things and I told my husband he could come or stay. He came and nether of us has spoken to her.

My FIL Wasn't in the picture for yrs an my husband reached out to him. Nothin has changed and it is affecting my husband.

Michele - posted on 07/27/2011

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I don't get on with my mother in law. She has the attitude that she's old and is allowed to say what she likes. I've told her that's fine but it comes with consequences. When my husband and i first met we all got on great. It was once he'd proposed that she changed. She ruined my wedding day by undressing my stepson out of his wedding outfit so it meant I never got a pic of me, my husband and stepson! She even moved the top table around and told me she doesn't eat with black people!!!! I did say to her she should go and eat outside but she declined. Even the photographer told her to shut up and my husband was fuming with her. I have 9 years of stories so could just keep going! My husband jokes that he's adopted because he's so different to his family. Even his sisters cause trouble and make comments. The problem is they are so different from my family. My family love my husband and treat him as there own which seems to cause jealousy. We just can't seem to win. I do try harder now for the kids sake and walk away if she makes comments but my stepson and niece are both 14 so catch on to her behaviour. My father in law sums it up by saying she doesn't like anyone, she tolerates them!

Elfrieda - posted on 07/26/2011

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My in-laws are very sweet. They call me 'daughter-in-love'. I really like all my husband's brothers and sisters, too. They all have that peculiar way about them that my husband has, so of course I like them. :) I liked them better before everyone got married, though. We all hung out as a pack and did weekend trips together, but now that all but one are married, it's not so easy to plan those things. I like the people they married, too, but am a little disappointed that they are so different from me. (I was kind of hoping that one of my husband's brothers would find a best friend for me, but that didn't work out) One of the wives talks All The Time and tells the same stories over and over again, but I like to spend time with her in small doses and then get out and talk to somebody else. It's easy to avoid someone when there are two parents, 8 siblings, 7 married-ins, and 13 grandkids.

Now, I lived with my inlaws (not with-with, but in their basement apartment) and they started getting on my nerves, just with things like insisting that 20 minutes early to an appointment was late, and constantly getting confused about how to share a mailbox. But these are all things that aren't a problem when we don't live together. I'm very fortunate.

Tawny - posted on 07/26/2011

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I get along great with my inlaws.My MIL is like a mom to me since my own passed away.My DH family took me into the fold and with the boys has made it that much better

Julie - posted on 07/26/2011

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It is not easy being an in-law s things change in your child's life - but be careful not to interfere but gently ask, "Are you open to suggestions? OR "May I offer a suggestion?" It will get you far!

Amy - posted on 07/26/2011

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I get along with my in-laws we only live about 6 blocks from each other.. I have health issues and they are the first ones I call when I need to go to the Dr or the ER.... I love them very much...

Cami - posted on 07/26/2011

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I absolutely love my in-laws. They are such a great example of how a husband and wife should treat each other. They treat me as if I was their daughter. They always put their family and God above all else. I am very lucky to have them as a part of my family.

Cali - posted on 07/26/2011

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I call them the out-laws. I like and get along with my hubbys parents. They have always been good to me. His oldest 2 sisters on the other hand do not like me. Never have never will, and I get the feeling I will NEVER know why. And I'm ok with that. Their relationship with our son is the only one that will suffer. Their loss

Miranda - posted on 07/26/2011

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Sometimes I think I have a better relationship with my in laws that I do with my own parents. I love my mom and dad but I have started growing away from them. However my mom and MIL are best friends, so this is really hard for me. My in laws have a very loving, compromising, respectful, healthy relationship. They really love the Lord and support us kids in so many ways. Don't get me wrong, I dont know what I would have done with out my mom when my kids were born. However, the last 3 years my mom has become strange. She has poor health and doesnt want to do anything about it. She complains that no one helps her, but get angry when people do. Last year she tried to kill her self, and I found out things about her that upset and scare me. I dont want my children alone with her. Her mind is slipping and she is very mean and snappy. My parents have never had a relationship like my in laws. The were always yelling, fighting, going on separate vacations. I love my in laws, I love my parents, but I tend to want to spend more time in a loving drama free zone. It is sad for me to hear that people dont get along with their in laws.

Christy - posted on 07/26/2011

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my husbands mother and father are alright but their not very good to my boys they are the only two grands on my husbands side but you would think they did have any grandchildren and his family they are even worse they haven't seen my children in over two year and only live 5mins from us but i always make them understand that some people don't deserve to be a part of there life and i've always heard you don't miss what you never had so if i keep them away they what get hurt by them but thank god my family love's my boys very much and alway tells them and shows them in every way :)

Addie - posted on 07/26/2011

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My MIL was greatly disappointed in me. When I separated from her son, she thought she was going to get her hands on my son. WRONG! She failed with her children and I was not going to let her do the same with mine. Once she understood that, we got along just fine.



Me? I am the perfect MIL. I never interfere in my children's marriage, tell them how to raise their kids, keep their home, etc. I keep my mouth shut. That's not my marriage, nor my young children,or my home. The only advice I give is when I am asked for it. I told each of my children when they got married "if you can't go home at the end of the day and tell your spouse what you did for the day, then you have no business doing it." The only area my youngest son can't share with his wife, is his work. Patient confidentiality. There are some jobs that require confidentiality. And this should be understood before the marriage.

Amanda - posted on 07/26/2011

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I really cant stand my in-laws with the stories i've heard from my husband (by the way my husbands real dad passed away when he was only 2 months old) and grandparents. His step dad would flip his matress on him in the middle of the night make him and his half brother scrub the kitchen floor with a toothbrush at 3am. fixing him a plate of food and he had to eat everthing even if it ment throwing up, getting grounded them leaving to get something to eat and not taking him and he wasn't allowed out of the room till they got back. one time he heard someone messing around outsid so he called his grandad who then called the police to sit outside and wait and he got grounded longer. so everytime we see them i can't help think about the hell they put him through.
my mom loves my husband but he can't stand my step dad and he can't stand him as well

[deleted account]

they live in another country so i don't have to see them much. we talk on the phone sometimes but it's usually just a 2 minute conversation. they are nice people, but they are very critical of things (my parenting, my weight, what i eat/drink, etc.) and so I think if they lived closer there would be some problems

Melanie - posted on 07/26/2011

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My relationship with my in-laws has been strained from the 1st day I met his mother. She didn't like me then , 13 years later she still doesn't like me. Which, I don't really care about. I do care about the way my children are treated though. They do okay with our 11 year old daughter ,but our 9yr old son with ADHD is not close to any of them. They make no attempt to understand why he is the way he is. He gets shafted emotionally ALOT with my husband's family. My SIL had a premature baby 3 yrs ago and now he is a wonderful little boy.But the inlaws act like my kids don't exist now. My parents love the kids...but aren't the kind of grandparents to fawn over them. I feel sometimes like I have failed my children since they don't have loving, snuggly grandparents that adore them.

Amanda - posted on 07/26/2011

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My FIL died in 2008 and he was sick before that, he had a form of Alhizmers so I never got to know him! My MIL and SIL on the other hand....OMG....they have hated me and talked crap about me since day 1! I am a emotional person so its been hard on me! I hate it! My Sister and 2 older Brothers have wonderful relationships with there in laws which makes it all that much worse on me emotionally! I've even thought at times that maybe my husband would be better off without me, I know in my heart though that's not true!

Amanda - posted on 07/26/2011

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My FIL died in 2008 and he was sick before that, he had a form of Alhizmers so I never got to know him! My MIL and SIL on the other hand....OMG....they have hated me and talked crap about me since day 1! I am a emotional person so its been hard on me! I hate it! My Sister and 2 older Brothers have wonderful relationships with there in laws which makes it all that much worse on me emotionally! I've even thought at times that maybe my husband would be better off without me, I know in my heart though that's not true!

Rachael - posted on 07/26/2011

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We haven't spoke with my in-laws in 6 years. They are not close to any of their 3 children. Although my husband is close to his brother and we see and talk to him and his family a lot.

Tamara - posted on 07/26/2011

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christina i can relate to you , my hubby has gr8 in law and well mine i can see dont like or care for me . they pretend though but they bad pretenders. my hubby admitted he can see they dnt . the funny ting is they were the ones that wanted us to get married and they treated me gud at the begining . i dnt recall doing anything bad to them , infact i recall doin everything that a daughter shud do considering that my hubby sister is not the type of person for any1 to call daughter .the more nice i am to them the more horrible and cold i feel from dem. the first year that my daughter was born they didnt even come as much to see her and they lived 2 kms away . my family came more often than them and my family lives 40kms away. i am now pregnant for my 2nd child and they didnt even congratulate properly . we moving end of this week closer to my family and i feel its a new start for us and i actually cant wait. my hubby is on my side and he sees how everything is. they dont say things to me but its their actions. i just wish i knew what was wrong.

Melissa - posted on 07/25/2011

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Ya I can relate to that too unfortunately. Shea stuck in the 50's. Apparently none of the money is mine either and I get criticizsed if I get my hair done or do anything for myself. I feel for ya!!!! Truly!

Elizabeth - posted on 07/25/2011

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Lol. I have never really gotten along with my mil. She has demanded more than once that I wait on my husband hand and foot. Needless to say, it has been 10 years of very tense times.

Melissa - posted on 07/25/2011

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Mine suck. Period. Judgemental and critical. And they favor the other 5 grandchildren and not mine and my boyfriend's daughter (their son, obviously) it's ridiculous and petty and I feel more mature than my in-laws.

Sabina - posted on 07/25/2011

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My in-laws are very sweet people I can not ask for anything better,they love me n my son so much I'm really grateful because I came from a society that in-laws are very had to relate to there. So wicked to there daughters in laws. So b4 I got married I had to really pray for God to give me nice in-laws that will love me cos that's d only way u can enjoy your marriage around here.(Nigeria)

Yvette - posted on 07/25/2011

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My father-n-law passed away before I met my husband. My mother-n-law and I don't get along. With that said we are cordial but either of us do not make any effort to try to get to know one another. On the other hand my family adores my husband. This makes me very sad at times that my family can love my husband so much BUT I will most likely never will be accepted.

Peita - posted on 07/25/2011

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I get along great wwith all my in-laws, I have never had any problems at all. I have more problems with one of my own brothers and his wife rather than in-laws lol!!! I think extended family is what you make of it, if you want them around and they want you around and everyone makes an effort then things will work out, my brother and his wife don't try and have relationships, so after about 7yrs of me trying with them I have decided it's not worth the effort and drama anymore and I just focus on the rest of my family :-)

Christina - posted on 07/25/2011

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Let's just say my husband has wonderful in-laws...and I don't. And I'm not just saying that because I love my parents. He's admitted it.

Jenn - posted on 07/25/2011

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I adore my husband's family and we are very close, very involved in each other's lives. My own parents, however,
Were less than warm and welcoming to my husband...because we lived together for 3 years before marriage. It only got better after my first child was born 7 years ago but it will never be like my husbands family. I too get along better with my MIL than my mom at times.

[deleted account]

My mother-in-law and I don't get along at all, but my father-in-law and I are really close with each other and I just love him to death, and I am close to my husband's brothers and sisters too, and I am close with my sister's husband and my brother's wives as well.

Sherri - posted on 07/24/2011

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Since my mother in law died, my father in law has become distant and could care less he has any family so myself and the kids haven't seen him in 5yrs. Now my husband is one of my parents kids. They have taken him in and treated him like a son since day one. They love him to death.

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