how would i tell my son about he's father?he wont even make an effort to see him.

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Beck - posted on 01/17/2010

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Ok, well your son isnt quite 2 yet, so the thought of him even asking about him wont be there unless his Father played a large enough part in his life. Don't worry about the fact that the Father doesn't make an effort to see your son, if it doesn't effect you, it wont affect your son, he won't know the difference. As he gets older, he may question it as he will notice other familys with 2 parents and wonder about it, thats when you be tactfull, and tell him how much you love him and that "you do have a father but we live seperate lives, and it doesnt matter because you have me and always will" Of course you can show a picture of his Father if you have one, and just say, this is your dad, if you ever wonder what he looks like or where you came from. If you know other things about his dad, like what he does for work, or any intrests his father has, you can also mention these, but kids dont often ask about their parents jobs for them selves, its usually to tell others. Dont worry too much about it, the less you worry the less your son will. :D

Karen - posted on 01/17/2010

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Hi Grace,
I had the same issue that you have. My son will be 17 tomorrow. His father had never made an attempt either but Scott had questions and so I was honest with him about his father. When he was 16 I told him what he wanted to know. Prior to that, I just told him that yes he had a dad and that his dad lived far away.- too far away to go and see and that I love him very much and would always be here for him and would always be honest with him, that he could come to me with anything. It is heartbreaking when they ask but I wouldnt mention it until he does which wont be for a while yet. Usually when they go to school and interact with other children and their parents do they begin to notice that there is a difference. My advice to you would be to go on with your life,Find someone that loves you and him and is a positive role model for your son. That will soften the blow when the time comes. If this is the way that your ex operates, your son is better off without him anyway. Find a good guy who wants to be your sons dad.

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 06/27/2013

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AnToinette - posted on 06/27/2013

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my child noticed at the age of 1 that he was not present, and asked me where was daddy? now at the age of 2 1/2 she has been acting out with pillows, as if the pillow was a child in her class, and she was saying this my daddy, this is not your daddy, so she is noticing the difference from TV shows and daycare

Nomi - posted on 08/30/2011

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Ive heard so many people my age and older growing up with out a dad and when or if they came back years later they still appreciate their mothers for raising them with out the other.. My sons father works at the supermarket in the same town so we bump into him every noe and then.. He has never acknowledged ty as a customer let alone his child. I feel bad for him but in the end all we can do is raise them the best we can and give them a good life (:

Maria - posted on 01/17/2010

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Just be honest with him, One thing your kids will appreciate one day is that you were honest with them. Just tell him what it is. no gaps no cover ups ma

Lauren - posted on 01/17/2010

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My daughter was in the same situation she is seven now and does not hate her father. I just let it roll out when she asked me about him that is when I would say "he is not here but maby we can try and call him or his parents to make her feel better. do not worry about telling him eventually he will figure it out himself. I thought it was best that they learn on their own because then the father will be shown where he actually stands in his life.

Brandy - posted on 01/17/2010

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I wouldnt I would make the father tell him since he is that low just make sure that you are there for your son and you comfort him.

Kelli - posted on 01/17/2010

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hang in there, my son will be 16 next month and has never seen his real father. The questions are hard to answer and will break your heart at times but do stay positive about him. It will not take your long to figure out what kind of man he is. I also told my son the truth, I didn't know where his father was but I was here and loved him very much. remember it is the father lose not your son's, he has you.

Lorraine - posted on 01/17/2010

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Is the father constantly absent from ur son's life? Or does he flit in & out when it suits him? Visiting 4 a few weeks then disappearing, then re-appearing a few weeks later

Val - posted on 01/17/2010

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Be supportive and do NOT talk bad about him. He will find out in time how his father is.

Grace - posted on 01/17/2010

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pls help me...my son is turning two next month, he's father wont even give him any kind of support!!i dont want him to hate his father...

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