huge problem, help?

ParkswayVoodoo - posted on 11/25/2012 ( 9 moms have responded )

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hugenproblem with my husband. over a year and a half ago i was having flurtatious conversations over fb and he fiund out. deleted the fb for him. this year my husband went to rehab for 45 days and came home the beggining of august. he did ok for a while but i fear he relapsed a long time ago, he left me the other day hes convinced im cheating on him and im not i thiink he has drug induced paranoia. hes always leaving me and coming back , and im done wih it. i made my fb again. but now his friend contacted me letting me know hes very worried about him and that his behavior these past 2days has been extremely bizarre. i hate what hes done to me, and i dont kn ow forsure if hes on drugs, as he also has mental health issues that could be the cause of his bizarre actions, but i feel like he needs my help now and itd be wrong of me to not help. we have a 1 month old baby togethor and a 3 year old that is mine from a previous relationship. what should i do?

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/26/2012

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Well, then he likes to manipulate you also. Him going off and trying to get everyone upset about him disappearing is also manipulating. Many people have a difficult time around the holidays, especially those that have mental health issues and drug problems. I am dealing with something similiar with my crazy sister. After all the years of torment with her mental health and drug abuse, I have learned there is nothing we can do for her. And we have tried everything. It is out of our hands. But we control if she sees us or the kids. I do not want her in my childrens life with her highly destructive personality. She used to be awesome, but now I fear for her. If she keeps going like this, I don't see her making it through another year. She blames everyone else for her problems, be she is the one that brings them on head on. Sounds to me like your husband is the same way. I would not want my kids growing up with such an unstable father.

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ParkswayVoodoo - posted on 11/26/2012

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i advised his family that he is doing poorly. so he will be ok i hope... i know if he and when he calss he is going to put it all on me and say i didnt care for him becuase i didnt call though... thank you so much. i really needed some outside unbias advise on all this

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/26/2012

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Sorry, but I would not be able to. I am sure you love and care for him, but I would be more concerned about my helpless children than a man that keeps making poor choices and abandoning his family. In fact, if you are married, I would be personally seeking a divorce. Non of these things may be the right thing for you personally to do, but it is what I would do in this situation.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/26/2012

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There is nothing you can do for him if he is not willing to help himself. Bringing him back home is just going to continue to enable his behavior. If you can help him get back into rehab or professional help, that is great. But I would not be letting him back home with my kids.

Laura - posted on 11/26/2012

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Take the focus off the addict and put it on you and your kids. And what is healthy for y'all. Go to an alanon meeting. You will find non judge mental help there. And the strength to do the next right thing. And then your kids will learn how to do that too...

ParkswayVoodoo - posted on 11/26/2012

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thank you. im so lost in this. i iwsh i knew more people where i live i feel so lonely during this hard time...

Michelle - posted on 11/26/2012

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If he's not willing to get professional help then there's not much you can do. I have learned the hard way that if you keep trying to help people like this it's only you that ends up being hurt.



The best thing you can do is let them know that you will support them if they get the professional help they need otherwise you will be taking a huge step back because you don't need the drama in your life.

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