Husband watches shemale porn?

Nina - posted on 02/25/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I caught my husband of four years watching shemale porn. Men with breast implants wearing high heels and acrylic nails and fake eyelashes, having oral and anal sex. He admitted he had been watching this type of porn in secret for a couple years. At first I was devistated and thought I was not what he wanted. I asked if he was gay and he said no he wasn't gay, he was attracted to the exaggerated feminine features with relatable grnitalia. He said he wasn't attracted to any other women other than me but has a strange curiosity towards the taboo freak show style of porn z I find myself wanted to kill myself because I will never be as beautiful as these fake woman shemales. Now we watch the porn together so it isnt secret. It does NOTHING for me (so gross ) but I pretend and I pleasure my husband, just to keep it open and honest. Is my marriage going to fall apart over these transgendered men? Please help please

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Shawnn - posted on 02/25/2013

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Ok, now I can go a bit more in depth:

I've been married 25 years. Hubby likes porn, whether it be printed or video. Not a big deal in our house, and here's why: He knows the difference between reality and fantasy. He knows darn good and well that I will not do "that" (whatever "that" is, it's whatever he sees in the porn) He also knows darn good and well that the sex is awesome without me being a porn star.

I don't have any problems with him viewing it. Don't understand the fascination, but then again, men always seem to have a fascination with something to do with sex, whether it's finding their penis when they're 2 and playing with that to the distraction of their parents (after all, it's an attached toy, right???) to wanting to watch/see explicit things that most likely they'll never experience in real life.

Now, on the other side of the coin, your husband has been up front with you. He's admitted curiosity, He's also claimed that he's not seeing others, just watching porn. So...if you trust him otherwise that he's not seeing others, and you've brought yourself to watch it with him, why are you contemplating suicide because of his viewing habit?

First, honey, if you think the "shemales" are beautiful, I'd say you need to take another look. Not that a drag queen can't pull off a feminine look much better than some women I know, but do you really (you, personally) find those people "beautiful"? Do you like huge (fake) breasts, fake nails, fake hair? To you, is that what makes a woman beautiful? Or is it their personality, their loving nature, etc...?

But, seriously, for you to "pretend" to be turned on for him is just as much of a lie, and honestly just as hurtful to a man. Be honest with him. Admit that it bothers you, and that you would rather not watch it, but that you'd be more than happy to have sex with him, with mutual pleasure. That is, only if that statement would be true. Otherwise, just tell him the truth.

Shawnn - posted on 02/25/2013

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Dennika's post was pretty much what I'd say, with Dove's comment about pretending.

Your husband has been honest with you. The least you can do is be honest with him and tell him you don't like it.

Please consider professional assistance. I'm hearing deeper issues than what's playing on the porn channel...

Dove - posted on 02/25/2013

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Other than being highly anti-porn... I agree with Denikka.

I just want to point out one thing in your post....

*It does NOTHING for me (so gross ) but I pretend and I pleasure my husband, just to keep it open and honest.

Pretending to like something that grosses you out is not being open and honest.

Please seek professional help in dealing with this situation. Good luck!

Denikka - posted on 02/25/2013

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You are thinking about killing yourself because of the type of porn your husband is watching. . .
Sorry, but there are obviously deeper issues here that I would suggest you get professional help in dealing with.
The people in porn are fake. All of it. No one looks like that while having sex, the situations are corny and obviously scripted, the lines are...stupid XD The moans, etc are all fake. Their butts are bleached, their makeup is done, the clothes, hair, etc are all done professionally.

As for the porn itself, I wouldn`t think it`s much of a big deal. My hubby watches a lot of porn. He`s into a lot of the weirder stuff :P Doesn`t bother me in the slightest. It`s fantasy. I just about never watch with him, because I`m not interested. My tastes are different, that`s all.
That`s like wondering if your marriage will fall apart because you like strawberry icecream and he likes chocolate. The preference in and of itself will not cause issues. It`s how you react to it that will cause problems. If you don`t like that type of porn, just let him know that it doesn`t do anything for you. Suggest something else. He can watch whatever he prefers when he`s alone. No biggy.
As long as he`s not going out and physically seeking out real people, it should be fine. Porn is a way to live out unrealistic fantasy. Some guys like tentacle porn. Doesn`t mean they`re going to go find a giant octopus or whatever. Some guys like fantasy porn, centaurs or whatever...doesn`t mean they`re going to go out and find a horse or start splicing things together to recreate that particular fantasy.
Things will be fine :) Just talk to your hubby, and relax.

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Firebird - posted on 02/25/2013

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Denikka said it far better than I could have. Smart lady right there.

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