I am a first time mom of a 3wk 1day old spoiled little boy. He will not sleep more than 30mins at a time in his bed before he starts crying. He goes back to sleep easily as long as someone is holding him. I know I need to let him cry it out but is he too young to let scream? How long do I let him cry?

Tracey - posted on 02/10/2009

my view is to give them as much comfort as they need, I'm not a 'hippy' but invested in a sling and carried my little one around with me while she slept, it does get harder as they grow as they do demand alot of your time, my daughter is 18months and I still sleep with her during the night, she will sleep by herself for the first part of the evening, but by midnight I usually have to jump in with her.  She is a happy, secure, independant and confident child  and I wouldn't swop that precious time i had and still have with her for anything.  It depend on what other pressures you have on you, but I say if you can cope with the broken sleep do it.

Leslee - posted on 02/10/2009

He is too young to "cry it out"...really from what I have read, babies should not be allowed to "cry it out" until they are at least 6 months old. He is little and needs to be held as much as possible...try a "snugglie" carrier or a sling. My son would only sleep when being held OR in his car seat...so most nights he slept in his car seat. He did that until he was 6 months old. Babies like to be close and snuggled in. My daughter would only sleep when being held or in the swing...so try those options before letting him cry!

Satia - posted on 02/10/2009

I have 3 girls 6yrs 5yrs and 3months and I personally never let them cry it out until they were around 4 to 5 months b/c thats when I could best gauge why they were crying even now my 3 month old "cries" when she sees me leave the room but if she starts screaming I pick her up. I feel young babies need the comfort of know your there the world can be scary if the only thing you know is gone (where is mommy?)

Gemma - posted on 02/10/2009

my second daughter is now 15months and i had soooo much trouble with her sleeping. when she was first born we had to stay in the hospital for a week and the staff gave er a pacifyer - which i wanted to avoid - so that didnt help things. when we got hme i was lucky if i managed to rest for 20 mins before she was crying again.

i found that in the early stages swaddlng helped alot. when a baby is sleeping they tend to put their arms up but not flat to the mattress, so when they do fall asleep their hands fall and it wakes them. cross his arms over his chest if  you  try this.

i then started to give her a little blanket for comfort. not a lot of people agree with this but it made my life a whole lot easier. i used to put it at the side of her so it was touching her face.

also try too remember not to let him fall asleep in your arms too much. if he starts to dose off, put him in his cot before hes asleep so he can get used to the process of actually falling asleep in there. i personally dont think that a baby should be left to cry at such a young age as that is their way of communication, but that is just my voice and everyone has their own views.

good luck.

Katrina - posted on 02/10/2009

You should read books by the Dr. Sears, they're a married couple, pediatricians and parents of 10. They support attachment parenting, as do I. Wonderful read and beautiful advice on child rearing in a peaceful, loving supportive environment.

Mallory - posted on 02/10/2009

U r not supposed to let him cry if it doesn't feel right to you. Dont listen to anyone about him being too spoiled. He is your little boy and momma knows best. My son was the same way for the first few months of his life. What i did, and it may or may not work for you, is lay down with him. I would hold him next to me but lying down in bed until he fell asleep, then i would let go of him but continue to lay next to him for a bit, then i would sit next to him and after a bit i would get up and he would be absolutely fine and ok with taking a nice long nap all by himself. I only had to do this for about a month before he began taking naps all by himself.

Melissa - posted on 02/10/2009

Well, There is no such thing as a spoiled baby!  He is too young to let him "cry it out".  Maybe he is having gas?  My first son never slept either and had allergy induced colic so he screamed...alot!  Try swaddling him or give him some gas drops.  Or just hold him and you sleep too. 

Lindsay - posted on 02/10/2009

At 3 weeks old both you and he need the rest! I took naps with my daughter all the time once I got over feeling guilty about a messy house. This time is for you and your son to bond, for you to recouperate from child birth and a time to learn about being a mom! Elizabeth was a good sleeper, but she had trouble going to sleep on her own at first. I would nurse her and she'd fall asleep, but before I started nursing I made sure she was laying on her blanket that way as soon as she was done I could wrap her up tight and lay her down in her bassinet. I can not say it enough Swaddle and Cuddle. I think the bassinet helped too. Babies like to be snug and the walls on the bassinet helped along with the swaddling.

Good luck!

Lindsay - posted on 02/10/2009

At 3 weeks old both you and he need the rest! I took naps with my daughter all the time once I got over feeling guilty about a messy house. This time is for you and your son to bond, for you to recouperate from child birth and a time to learn about being a mom! Elizabeth was a good sleeper, but she had trouble going to sleep on her own at first. I would nurse her and she'd fall asleep, but before I started nursing I made sure she was laying on her blanket that way as soon as she was done I could wrap her up tight and lay her down in her bassinet. I can not say it enough Swaddle and Cuddle. I think the bassinet helped too. Babies like to be snug and the walls on the bassinet helped along with the swaddling.

Good luck!

Amanda - posted on 02/10/2009

my son was like this also.... i don't know that crying it out would work, i think he might be too young. my son constantly wanted to be held and it turned out he had reflux, once we put him on baby zantac and put him on a wedge in his bassinet he started to sleep better (he was around 2 weeks when they diagnosed him) if he does have reflux crying can aggravate it so he may get more and more upset the more he cries.... sooooo, i would try having him sleep on a wedge and look for symptoms of reflux (loud gulping, lots of hiccups, a lot of spit up-sometimes projectile-like vommiting)

Amy - posted on 02/10/2009

Try swaddling him good and maybe warming the sheets with a heating pad or water bottle before you lay him down so he doesn't "hit" cold sheets. You an't spoil a baby at this age and if you know hes clean, warm, and fed , yes it's ok to let him cry it out for a short period of time...

Joanne - posted on 02/10/2009

4th Trimester!



Imagine being hugs and cuddled for 9 months and then being put in a crib? Your baby has only known the womb and is to young to CIO. Your baby is NOT spoiled! He's only going to sleep in your arms and they cry when you put him down. All babies are like that and he'll grow out of it ina few months. Until then, love him and do your best to be patient while he adjusts to his new environment.

Joanne - posted on 02/10/2009

4th Trimester!



Imagine being hugs and cuddled for 9 months and then being put in a crib? Your baby has only known the womb and is to young to CIO. Your baby is NOT spoiled! He's only going to sleep in your arms and they cry when you put him down. All babies are like that and he'll grow out of it ina few months. Until then, love him and do your best to be patient while he adjusts to his new environment.

Laurie Lynn - posted on 02/10/2009

A baby this young is not spoiled, and it's important to remember that when he cries, to help with your frustration. Understandably, your nerves will reach a breaking point and it really helps to remember, especially during those times, that this child is helpless in this world without you. My husband is a pediatrician and confirms that the child is entirely too young to "cry it out."

Stacey - posted on 02/10/2009

Like a lot of the other moms have said, 3 weeks is way too early to let him cry, and don't worry about spoiling your baby...it's impossible at this age. I think you are doing great by giving him some experience in his own bed, even if it is only for 30 minutes at a time. Neither of my kids (2 1/2yrs and 4 months) like to be swaddled, but I did use sleepsacks over thier jammies. If breastfeeding is going well, then try a pacifier.

I know it's hard at this stage when you feel like all you do is hold your baby, but just remember that this time will go by so fast and soon he'll be 6months and won't want to be held as much and you just might find you miss this precious time. :-)

You are doing great, keep it up.

Jana - posted on 02/10/2009

hi there. congrats. i personally think that is too young to let him 'cry it out' i think a baby should be held as much as possible the first 2 months - rocking to sleep - sleeping on chests, being held - they need to feel safe and secure during this beginning of their life. after 2 months you can start 'teaching' them to learn to sleep on their own in small increments a bit at a time. just have a litle patience with the little guy - you cannot spoil a newborn.  good luck to you!

KN - posted on 02/10/2009

my opionon, so please take with a grain of salt and filter through all these responses what works for you and your baby....i do not believe that babies should cry it out till at least 6 months, those first months they should be held as much as possible and have breast milk whenever they want. No baby is spoiled, start thinking about that after a year! my books that got me through to the wonderful, sweet, kind sleeping through the night 3 year old i have the pleasure of spending time with...

Burton White....the first three years....this is the best book ever!

jo Frost....supernanny

KN - posted on 02/10/2009

my opionon, so please take with a grain of salt and filter through all these responses what works for you and your baby....i do not believe that babies should cry it out till at least 6 months, those first months they should be held as much as possible and have breast milk whenever they want. No baby is spoiled, start thinking about that after a year! my books that got me through to the wonderful, sweet, kind sleeping through the night 3 year old i have the pleasure of spending time with...

Burton White....the first three years....this is the best book ever!

jo Frost....supernanny

Berry - posted on 02/10/2009

Hi Katy.  Your baby is super cute!  Just to echo what a lot of other posters have said - your little one is not spoiled and is way too young to cry it out.  Until he has reached approximately 4 months of age, he simply lacks the cognitive development to understand what is happening.  In fact, some advocates say that babies should not be left to "cry it out" until at least 6 months of age because they are unable to understand what is happening.  At this age, if you leave him to cry it out, all you are teaching him is that his mommy, the most important person in his life, is not there for him.  It won't matter if it's 5 minutes or 20.

Like other posters have said, there may be other reasons why he is crying and you should explore that.  Maybe there is a physical reason such as reflux that makes him uncomfortable lying down for any length of time (if that's the case, you can try elevating his mattress, or talk to your doctor about laying him on his side to sleep).  But it may just be, as many posters have suggested, that he is feeling a little too "free" - that would be completely normal at this age.  Swaddling really helped my little guy at that age, as did carrying him in a wrap carrier which is like swaddling him onto yourself.  In fact, I highly recommend the wrap carriers!

Crying it out may or may not work for any baby, depending on their temperament, but there are many other ways to teach your baby to sleep without leaving him to feel abandoned at this early stage of his development.   Check out Elizabeth Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution" as one alternative.  Good luck!!!!  I know it's exhausting, but your baby needs your cuddles now.

Berry - posted on 02/10/2009

Hi Katy.  Your baby is super cute!  Just to echo what a lot of other posters have said - your little one is not spoiled and is way too young to cry it out.  Until he has reached approximately 4 months of age, he simply lacks the cognitive development to understand what is happening.  In fact, some advocates say that babies should not be left to "cry it out" until at least 6 months of age because they are unable to understand what is happening.  At this age, if you leave him to cry it out, all you are teaching him is that his mommy, the most important person in his life, is not there for him.  It won't matter if it's 5 minutes or 20.

Like other posters have said, there may be other reasons why he is crying and you should explore that.  Maybe there is a physical reason such as reflux that makes him uncomfortable lying down for any length of time (if that's the case, you can try elevating his mattress, or talk to your doctor about laying him on his side to sleep).  But it may just be, as many posters have suggested, that he is feeling a little too "free" - that would be completely normal at this age.  Swaddling really helped my little guy at that age, as did carrying him in a wrap carrier which is like swaddling him onto yourself.  In fact, I highly recommend the wrap carriers!

Crying it out may or may not work for any baby, depending on their temperament, but there are many other ways to teach your baby to sleep without leaving him to feel abandoned at this early stage of his development.   Check out Elizabeth Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution" as one alternative.  Good luck!!!!  I know it's exhausting, but your baby needs your cuddles now.

Dana - posted on 02/10/2009

My 9 week old wanted to be held constantly the first few week. babies are new to the world. Everything is scary and strange to them. All they know is you. He prolly just needs the comfort. Swaddling my baby helped a lot. It makes her feel safe and secure. Good luck.

Arlene - posted on 02/10/2009

Hi! I sympathize with you. My first daughter was exactly like that. I breastfed her and it seems that that's what she does all the time. She will go to sleep in my arms and as soon as I lay her down, she wakes up and cries. I was told to let her cry until she sleeps but I just can't bear to hear her crying. Even 5 minutes of a screaming, crying baby could seem like hours!

You might want to check out a book by Gary Ezzo entitled Baby Wise. You can borrow it from your local library. It claims to "help you train your newborn to sleep through the night before the age of 8 weeks."  It specifically addresses your situation.  I wish you luck on your newborn and hope I could help.

Jen - posted on 02/10/2009

I know this might sound crazy but my daughter was colic and we would let her sleep in her car seat because it kept her nice and bundled and she slept great in there...she is now 7 months and is the best sleeper I could ever ask for...down at 8 or 8:30 and doesn't get up until around 8am. I kept her on the floor next to me, had her blankets on her, don't buckle her in just put those to the sides and she did much better in there than her crib while she was that little

Darla - posted on 02/10/2009

I agree with the other suggestions of swaddling. We learned in our Lamaze class to treat the first 3 months after birth as the 4th trimester. These little babies really want to be warm and snug and BACK INSIDE, THANK YOU! We also learned the 5 S's. Swaddle, Side (holding baby on his side in your arms, or laid on his side while you do the remainder of the S's), Shhh, Swing, Suck. "The Happiest Baby on the Block" goes into these in detail. Highly recommended book, btw. Good luck. Those first few months can be hard; hang in there. We're rootin' for you!

Debbie - posted on 02/10/2009

Babywise! Babywise! Babywise!!  The techniques they share for helping your newborn get on a schedule kept me sane.  My younger sister had a similar problem that she let go on for many months before she called in desperation.  I sent her a copy of the book and within 2 days her little guy was suddenly taking long naps, putting himself to sleep, and he became the happy baby she'd longed for.  I used the Babywise techniques for the last 5 of our 6 kids.  All but one slept through the night (11pm - 5/6 am) at around 6 weeks.  Our third woke up and fussed himself back to sleep once a night until he was 12 weeks. 

It's hard being a new mom; so many emotions and expectations.  Sleep deprivation and second-guessing your mommy both certainly make it harder!  Be patient with yourself and enjoy every moment of your precious little one's new life.  Fortunately, they don't remember the mistakes we make trying to figure all of this out!

Blessings,

Debbie

Stacie - posted on 02/10/2009

Not an expert here but I found that sometimes when the babies wake if you go in and rub their backs they will relax and fall back to sleep. If you pick them up everytime they will run you ragged. I had a colicky child and it was hard but 3 more later and I survived. And my doctor always said a litlte fussing will not hurt them as long as you have checked on them and they are ok they can cry for a few minutes. Hope this helps a little. Good luck.

Tina - posted on 02/10/2009

You NEVER have to let your kid cry it out... if your heart tells you that you need to pick him up, then don't listen to that voice in your head that says "SPOILED." There is no such thing for an infant... they can't tell you what they want yet using words, so they have no other way to communica

Tina - posted on 02/10/2009

You NEVER have to let your kid cry it out... if your heart tells you that you need to pick him up, then don't listen to that voice in your head that says "SPOILED." There is no such thing for an infant... they can't tell you what they want yet using words, so they have no other way to communica

Tina - posted on 02/10/2009

You NEVER have to let your kid cry it out... if your heart tells you that you need to pick him up, then don't listen to that voice in your head that says "SPOILED." There is no such thing for an infant... they can't tell you what they want yet using words, so they have no other way to communicate than to cry. I had to deal with lots of great-grandmas and aunts looking at me like I was crazy, but I carried my daughter in a sling or pouch most of her first year, and sometimes still do if she's tired and cranky and she's 19 months now... so just make sure he's not hurt, and if you can get some rest by snuggling him in a rocking chair and you can doze too, then go for it!



p.s. my daughter is not clingy now, she actually loves to run around on her own now she is so independent, but having the option of tossing the sling on if she gets too restless to sit in the stroller or cart and too tired to walk without tripping... it's just a lifesaver. I got my sling from a le leche league raffle, but you can make one like the hotsling brand by measuring yourself diagonally from shoulder to hip bone, and double that length. Sew together at the short ends and make a continuous tube. Make a slight C shape at the seam, and that is where baby sits, just make sure you double-stitch the seam. A good lightweight fleece or flannel is soft and not too heavy, but you can use just about anything. It really frees up your hands and takes a load off of your back compared to trying to hold them in your arms all the time.

Dottie - posted on 02/10/2009

I once heard a very wise woman say, "Food spoils, babies do not". He is not spoiled. He may just need to be wrapped tighter or if you have him in a full size crib, it may be too overwhelming. I do believe he is too young to cry it out and trust me, I understand the frustrations. However, if you are stressed, the little one will sense it and it will be harder to calm him down. Are you breast or bottle feeding?

Amanda - posted on 02/10/2009

Like some others said, I'd suggest swaddling him.  Kiddopotomus makes an excellent swaddling blanket that my boys won't sleep well without!

Also, Happiest Baby on The Block has saved my sanity!  I'd suggest either reading it or watching the video.

As far as crying goes...For the past month (or so), as long as they're not hungry, wet/dirty, hot/cold, or nothing else it wrong, I let them cry.  If it's bedtime I'll let them cry for 15-20 minutes before I'll pick them back up, comfort them for a few minutes, then lay them back down.  If they cry at all anymore it's only for 10-14 minutes.

Another thing I do to help them sleep well at night (or for naps) is play a CD of womb sounds.  I started that about a month ago and it works wonders!  I turn it up fairly loud (you can't hear it downstairs, but you can hear it through the closed door) so they hear it well.  Amazing!

Vanessa - posted on 02/10/2009

Do what you feel and try to listen to your instincts, letting a baby cry out is an old fashion theorie from the 80's. I sometimes take my baby boy in our bed to make him fall asleep, also try to have his cot in your bedroom.



One more thing to make your baby fall asleep wrapp him up in a warm cover for 10- 15 mins the warmth should make him start to fall asleep and then open it up and put him in his bed, the warmth in his back will keep him comfy. It works with my son every time !

Don t do this with a baby younger than 3 month though he might over heat too quick.

Vanessa - posted on 02/10/2009

Do what you feel and try to listen to your instincts, letting a baby cry out is an old fashion theorie from the 80's. I sometimes take my baby boy in our bed to make him fall asleep, also try to have his cot in your bedroom.

Lisa - posted on 02/10/2009

You need to hold him if that's what he needs. My first born was the same way.  As I understand, there's a difference between needs and wants.  0-12 months only has needs. after a year, they start getting into wants.  I bet you're exhausted, but allow yourself to give in.  You are absolutely doing no harm, but only helping him and connecting with him. He will not sleep well at this point if you let him cry it out.  Right now he needs you and if you have the book Babywise, I recommend you also take a look at Dr Sears books. Another good one is Elizabeth Pantley. We don't have to parent like our parents did.  We have choices.  Do what feels right to you and what your heart says.  If you are in agony over your child crying, love him and soothe him and rock him to sleep. I hope you find the best solution for you and your baby...

Lisa - posted on 02/10/2009

You need to hold him if that's what he needs. My first born was the same way.  As I understand, there's a difference between needs and wants.  0-12 months only has needs. after a year, they start getting into wants.  I bet you're exhausted, but allow yourself to give in.  You are absolutely doing no harm, but only helping him and connecting with him. He will not sleep well at this point if you let him cry it out.  Right now he needs you and if you have the book Babywise, I recommend you also take a look at Dr Sears books. Another good one is Elizabeth Pantley. We don't have to parent like our parents did.  We have choices.  Do what feels right to you and what your heart says.  If you are in agony over your child crying, love him and soothe him and rock him to sleep. I hope you find the best solution for you and your baby...

Lisa - posted on 02/10/2009

You need to hold him if that's what he needs. My first born was the same way.  As I understand, there's a difference between needs and wants.  0-12 months only has needs. after a year, they start getting into wants.  I bet you're exhausted, but allow yourself to give in.  You are absolutely doing no harm, but only helping him and connecting with him. He will not sleep well at this point if you let him cry it out.  Right now he needs you and if you have the book Babywise, I recommend you also take a look at Dr Sears books. Another good one is Elizabeth Pantley. We don't have to parent like our parents did.  We have choices.  Do what feels right to you and what your heart says.  If you are in agony over your child crying, love him and soothe him and rock him to sleep. I hope you find the best solution for you and your baby...

Nikki - posted on 02/10/2009

My baby is now 3 months old, and he only started sleeping fully in his crib about 3 weeks ago. People tell you not to put anything in the crib with them such as blankets and toys because it may be unsafe, but.......when I was pregnant I had a snoogle pillow(body pillow) and it curls up. I layed that in his crib and curled it around him and he sleeps through the night like nobodys business. I think it almost feels like someone is still holding him. That might not be the best advice, but it sure worked in our case. It's along the same lines as swaddling, but if your child is like ours was, he wiggles out of those darn swaddlers like houdini!

Sharon - posted on 02/10/2009

my son did the same thing.  For the first few weeks we had to hold him and let him sleep in his car seat.  I worried also.  Just keep trying to put him down in the crib.  Eventually, it will work. DO you have a mobile or something else visual for him to look at?  THis has helped also.  He is still young so be patient.  I am still waiting for my 3 mo to sleep thru the night!

Elizabeth - posted on 02/10/2009

listen, you can not "spoil" a newborn, or any baby for that matter. He needs you and your comfort. Please check out askdrsears.com for so much helpful advice. Also pick up the Baby Book by Dr. Sears (a truly invaluable resourse for parents!) and mothering magazine. Swaddle, nurse, and put your baby in a sling (again, completely invaluable for new babies). Slings have been used all over the world for centuries, I urge you to try one, any ring sling will do, I found thes are best for nursing and carrying around. good luck

Cheryl - posted on 02/10/2009

Why do you feel you need to let him cry it out?  Do you feel pressured because people you know are saying "You just have to let him cry it out" when you ask them about this or is it because "crying it out" is the method of parenting you have decided is right for you and your little one?  I'm no expert but from everything I've read you really can't spoil a baby this young.  It isn't until after they're a year old that you have to worry about "spoiling" them.  My son was the same as yours early on.  He cried if he wasn't being held and didn't sleep very well in his crib.  Everyone told me to let him cry it out and he'd learn so I tried it once and knew after 15 minutes that it wasn't for us.  So I held my baby alot the first few months.  I also educated myself about cosleeping and decided that was a more appropriate solution for us than crying it out.  If you want to try crying it out I know alot of moms like the Ferber method and you can always modify it so that you only let him cry for whatever length of time you decide is acceptable, whether it's 3 minutes or 10 minutes.  There's also a great book called "The No Cry Sleep Solution".  It's not an immediate fix but will help your baby gradually adjust to sleeping in his crib.  Good luck!  And just remember nothing is written in stone...  You know your baby better than anyone so just relax and trust yourself to know what he needs.      

Juliana - posted on 02/10/2009

Hi Katy,

In all the reading I've done, and from what my pediatrician has told me, at 3 weeks old, you really can't spoil him. At this age, they're still adjusting to being outside the womb. Usually you don't need to start letting them cry it out until 6 months.... some say earlier, but I think he's too young right now. It's still good to try and put him down some, but you shouldn't be creating bad sleeping habits at this age. At around 2 or 3 months, he should start sleeping a little bit more. Hang in there, it will get better soon!

Belinda - posted on 02/10/2009

My 15 months old son was the exact same way. We swaddled him it seemed to work for a while. then I went and got this teddy bear that when you turn it on it sounds like the moms heartbeat. After we started using that, we didn't have any issues with him waking up. He sleeps with this bear everything he goes to bed.

I got the teddy bear from babies r us. they also have different types of this.

Jessica - posted on 02/10/2009

You can't really spoil a 3 week old.  They aren't manipulative, they express their needs through crying.  He needs to know that the world is a safe place, where he will be cared for, he understands that when you hold him.  Not sleeping alone in a crib is very common at three weeks.  I wouldn't let him cry it out until about 4 months, he is much to young for that.  There are many books about sleep and what is to be expected at the different ages.  At three weeks you do whatever you can to get them to sleep.  Naps are also the trickiest, they take the longest to get set and are often changing every few months.  Many babies don't sleep longer than 30 minutes consistently until about 6 months.  Good luck.

Cheryl - posted on 02/10/2009

Why do you feel you need to let him cry it out?  Do you feel pressured because people you know are saying "You just have to let him cry it out" when you ask them about this or is it because "crying it out" is the method of parenting you have decided is right for you and your little one?  I'm no expert but from everything I've read you really can't spoil a baby this young.  It isn't until after they're a year old that you have to worry about "spoiling" them.  My son was the same as yours early on.  He cried if he wasn't being held and didn't sleep very well in his crib.  Everyone told me to let him cry it out and he'd learn so I tried it once and knew after 15 minutes that it wasn't for us.  So I held my baby alot the first few months.  I also educated myself about cosleeping and decided that was a more appropriate solution for us than crying it out.  If you want to try crying it out I know alot of moms like the Ferber method and you can always modify it so that you only let him cry for whatever length of time you decide is acceptable, whether it's 3 minutes or 10 minutes.  There's also a great book called "The No Cry Sleep Solution".  It's not an immediate fix but will help your baby gradually adjust to sleeping in his crib.  Good luck!  And just remember nothing is written in stone...  You know your baby better than anyone so just relax and trust yourself to know what he needs.      

Jenni - posted on 02/10/2009

yes a newborn's fav place to sleep is in mummy's nice warm arms and who would blame him? he's spent the first 9 months of his life in mummy's warm embrace (tummy) so getting a new baby to sleep on his own is a very frustrating, tiresome feat... personally i think he's far too young to cry it out... most of what i read doesn't recommend letting him cry until 6 months, although i let my son cry at 3 months... it was 3 months of catnaps and laying him down just to have him pop his eyes wide open the moment he hit the matress... i say in the first few months keep laying him down every time over and over and over just to get him use to it, practice and practice... but also get him to sleep as much as u can in other ways cuz he does need that sleep... swing, car, walk in the strolller usually works... just untill he's old enuff to cry (then i would do ferberizing where u go in every 5 mins at first and reassure him then leave come back agian in 5 mins if he's still crying and then 10 mins and 10 mins and so on, just to let him know u haven't left him by himself) another thing that works wonders on training him to sleep in his crib and is "shh" and 'pat" make long, drawn out ''shhing'' sounds close to his ear (becareful not to 'shh' right in his ear) this creates white noise, and pat him on his back or bum in the rhythem of a clock as he mellows out (which may take a long time) slow down the pats and quiet down the 'shhhing' when u feel he's good and asleep, gently roll him back onto his back. keep in mind this is not a miracle solution and takes a lot of time and effort... but it will pay off in the long run b/c ull have taught ur son to put himself to sleep w/o ne crutch... if at 3 months ur still having trouble as i was do the 'ferberizing' just make sure he's fed and changed b4 so u can rule those things out when he cries and make sure u wind him down 4 20 mins before u lay him down (either rocking, nursing/bottle, lullabye etc) u can even sit in the room with him at first and read or do something quietly if u feel guilty leaving him alone... sorry i couldn't give u an easy solution but really, there isnt one when it comes to babies and sleep! GL!

Jenni - posted on 02/10/2009

yes a newborn's fav place to sleep is in mummy's nice warm arms and who would blame him? he's spent the first 9 months of his life in mummy's warm embrace (tummy) so getting a new baby to sleep on his own is a very frustrating, tiresome feat... personally i think he's far too young to cry it out... most of what i read doesn't recommend letting him cry until 6 months, although i let my son cry at 3 months... it was 3 months of catnaps and laying him down just to have him pop his eyes wide open the moment he hit the matress... i say in the first few months keep laying him down every time over and over and over just to get him use to it, practice and practice... but also get him to sleep as much as u can in other ways cuz he does need that sleep... swing, car, walk in the strolller usually works... just untill he's old enuff to cry (then i would do ferberizing where u go in every 5 mins at first and reassure him then leave come back agian in 5 mins if he's still crying and then 10 mins and 10 mins and so on, just to let him know u haven't left him by himself) another thing that works wonders on training him to sleep in his crib and is "shh" and 'pat" make long, drawn out ''shhing'' sounds close to his ear (becareful not to 'shh' right in his ear) this creates white noise, and pat him on his back or bum in the rhythem of a clock as he mellows out (which may take a long time) slow down the pats and quiet down the 'shhhing' when u feel he's good and asleep, gently roll him back onto his back. keep in mind this is not a miracle solution and takes a lot of time and effort... but it will pay off in the long run b/c ull have taught ur son to put himself to sleep w/o ne crutch... if at 3 months ur still having trouble as i was do the 'ferberizing' just make sure he's fed and changed b4 so u can rule those things out when he cries and make sure u wind him down 4 20 mins before u lay him down (either rocking, nursing/bottle, lullabye etc) u can even sit in the room with him at first and read or do something quietly if u feel guilty leaving him alone... sorry i couldn't give u an easy solution but really, there isnt one when it comes to babies and sleep! GL!

Clair - posted on 02/10/2009

Newborns have no other way to tell you what's going on other than crying, he's a newborn you have to respond to the crying, that's how he's building trust in you - that you can meet his needs. Until he was born, he was in this nice warm, cozy place for 9+ months... a crib is cold in comparison. If you need your hands free put him in a sling and let him sleep aganist your body. Tthe movement will help him stay asleep and let you get things done too.



And here's the bad news.... babies only sleep little spurts at the beginning. Mine were both 20 mins on sleep-1 hour awake and back again until the sleep period lengthened and then the we're awake longer too.



Good luck. And know this too... you can never spoil a baby with love...ever! :)

Michelle - posted on 02/10/2009

You can NEVer spoil a 3 weekold! AND you should never let a baby cry it out until they are about 6 months old. he needs to know that you will always be there for him- this way you will bring up a very independant baby....they grow out of that cuddle stage VERY quickly...my 6 week old doesnt like to be cuddle anymore as much-so I am glad that I took advantage of it while I had the chance. Read the baby whisperer- it is the best book on the market that can help with all your questions. But dont let him stress out and cry without you going through a list of things that may be ther problem.

1.hunger

2. diaper change

3. too cold

4. too hot

5. needs to be swaaddled

6. where is mommy?

7. i need to be held

8. i need to a change of scenery-

and the list goes on. crying is there only form of communication.

Hannah - posted on 02/10/2009

Hi Katy, congrats on your little boy! He is not spoiled at all. He is 3 weeks old!! He is used to be surrounded by a safe womb and the nearest thing to that now he is in the big wide world is to be held by you, his mother. Don't let him cry for long at this age, he is not crying for attention, he is crying because he needs you. He will become more independent and will sleep for longer but do not think of cuddling or holding as spoiling. A baby NEEDS to be held to feel loved and confident which actually makes a more independent child! He will not sleep for more than a few hours (unless you are lucky!) for a few months yet. It's best to get yourself into a routine, don't get upset with yourself for not getting things done, take as much help from family as you can, rest all you can now in these early weeks and you'll see, all this will be a distant memory sooner than you think! Appreciate your son, he will soon be smiling and that will make it all seem better! good luck.

Jaime - posted on 02/10/2009

have you tried a swing. with my son i did the swing and when that didnt work i also put him in his car seat until he fell asleep. then sit the car seat in the crib. tried that and see if that wel help you. he is just missing the heart beat from mom