I asked my husband to get a little snip snip down there

Kylie - posted on 11/21/2009

my partner and i r expectin our 2nd baby in 2 weeks, we have already talked bout the snip, he is all for it, we agreed on 2 kids. My bro is 31 and had the snip, he enjoys the freedom of not havin to worry if his wife falls preg, they have 2 and dont want anymore. If ur partner decides to get the snip and either u decide to have a 4th or even if u arent together 4eva, the op can be reversed with a 50-75% success rate. I think alot of guys have a prob with this coz sum1 is playin with their guys and it makes em nervous, they think it makes them less of a man if they're shootin blanks, guy r a very sensitive species.

Here in Aust a doc is more likely to give a guy the snip than a female coz we r soooo much more likely to change our minds and ours isnt reversable.

A heart to heart btween u 2 is needed, ask (gently) y he is soo against it and talk it over, this is really sumfin that needs communication, GL i hope u and ur partner find a resolution that all parties r happy with, not just comfortable with.

Sapphire - posted on 11/21/2009

I think when the time is right to actually consider a procedure, then you bring up the discussion again. Right now is not the right time if you are still planning on more kids. I also think it's a weak excuse that since you're the woman and carry and birth the baby, that is the only fair part. I don't buy it. Becasue of your medical condition, lupus, that persuades me to consider your favor. But you cannot demand what your husband does with his body. He is an adult, capable of making his own decisions with his body. But like I said, while the procedure is definately favorable for the man as opposed to the woman, it's something to not even fight about now. Enjoy your pregnancy and any future children. Then when you both feel your family is complete you can broach the topic again. Case in point is a good friend of mine who also only wanted 3 children. When her 3rd was stillborn, she and her husband went through the grieving process before attempting another try at a living baby. Had her husband got snipped prior to that, which was a discussion, they would have lost all chances at conceiving again without any medical assistance. So I might urge you to drop the subject until your family is 100% complete.

Peggy - posted on 11/21/2009

i dont believe its out of line. if u really would like him to i sugust u get info on it and on a tubal so that he can see that its safer and easier for him to do. and sit him down, listen to why he feels offened by ur suggestion. he may have some real conserns. persoanlly i agree that it is a better optoin than the a tubal. and its a much better option than having unwanted children or children u are unable to take care of. GOOD LUCK AND CONGRATS ON UR BABY.

Brandi - posted on 11/21/2009

I don't think so. I think he's overreacting a little. My husband and I made a deal shortly before the birth of my second child. *We only want 2* I told him if the second baby was a c-section for some reason (which could feasibly happen with any birth), then I would have them tie my tubes while they were in there (they do that in my area, maybe they do in yours i'm not sure) BUT if i had the last baby naturally, then HE has to get a vasectomy when he turns 30. He agreed to that and I had my last baby naturally, so in 2 years he's getting it done. In the meantime I'm on the Mirena IUD. It was a good compromise for us. I'm with you on the carrying the baby, pushing the baby out, and recovery from pushing the baby out. I think that should be enough lol

Krista - posted on 11/21/2009

My point is.....why is okay for YOU to expect him to do it, but not okay for HIM to expect YOU to do it?

If he doesn't want to, you can't force him. Vice versa. Use condoms or birth control.

Laura - posted on 11/21/2009

i wouldnt say that he doesnt think you'll be together, maybe he just doesnt want to do that, maybe its a manhood thing, i mean maybe he was just suprised by the question, idk.. maybe he doesnt want to lose the option of having more with you later.. i dont think blowing up at you was the best reaction, but i would prob leave it alone for now

Jami - posted on 11/21/2009

Quoting Crystal:

Quoting Crystal:

Quoting Krista:

Quoting Crystal:

Quoting Lisa:

And why cant you get your tubes tied

I don't see why i have to get my tubes tyed after going through so much already. and my husband even agreed..but yet doesn't want a snip snip

Were you forced to go through what you went through?  Cause, honestly, this is a bogus excuse if you weren't.

Of course not. but we agreed on having kids. so its a partnership.

Not to mention I have lupus and any kinda of surgery would be xtreamly stressfull on my body. and not safe at all for me.

I agree with you. Having a baby is wonderful but it does take alot out of you. Im still not the same & I have a 2 year old. A lil snip is very diffrent then getting completly cut open. & if your sick he should be more than happy to go along with it!!

Crystal - posted on 11/21/2009

Quoting Crystal:

Quoting Krista:

Quoting Crystal:

Quoting Lisa:

And why cant you get your tubes tied

I don't see why i have to get my tubes tyed after going through so much already. and my husband even agreed..but yet doesn't want a snip snip

Were you forced to go through what you went through?  Cause, honestly, this is a bogus excuse if you weren't.

Of course not. but we agreed on having kids. so its a partnership.

Not to mention I have lupus and any kinda of surgery would be xtreamly stressfull on my body. and not safe at all for me.

Crystal - posted on 11/21/2009

Quoting Krista:

Quoting Crystal:

Quoting Lisa:

And why cant you get your tubes tied

I don't see why i have to get my tubes tyed after going through so much already. and my husband even agreed..but yet doesn't want a snip snip

Were you forced to go through what you went through?  Cause, honestly, this is a bogus excuse if you weren't.

Of course not. but we agreed on having kids. so its a partnership.

Vanessa - posted on 11/21/2009

in my situation it was my husbands idea... so we already had our 2nd baby on nov 5 and he was our last... we have a daughter and now a son and thats it for us. i was even thinking about gettin my tubes tied which i should of but i have alot of trouble with weight issues and that would not be a good idea for me... but i think after the fact that you have the 3 rd one he might think about it and agree with it! just let him calm down and it will all work out the way it should!

Krista - posted on 11/21/2009

Quoting Crystal:

Quoting Lisa:

And why cant you get your tubes tied

I don't see why i have to get my tubes tyed after going through so much already. and my husband even agreed..but yet doesn't want a snip snip

Were you forced to go through what you went through?  Cause, honestly, this is a bogus excuse if you weren't.

Stef - posted on 11/21/2009

Remember it's his body and he should be entitled to make decisions on what happens to it. I agree we go through a lot to have our babies, but thats a choice we make. Consider if he asked you to do something to your body that you're not comfortable with......

Crystal - posted on 11/21/2009

Quoting Lisa:

And why cant you get your tubes tied

I don't see why i have to get my tubes tyed after going through so much already. and my husband even agreed..but yet doesn't want a snip snip

Crystal - posted on 11/21/2009

Quoting Lisa:

And why cant you get your tubes tied

I don't see why i have to get my tubes tyed after going through so much already. and my husband even agreed..but yet doesn't want a snip snip

Leeann - posted on 11/21/2009

I'd leave the topic for a while, you have time up your sleeve. My husband has had it done. We discussed it together and gave our opinions but I did tell him it was ultimately his decision to do it as it was his 'bits'. I wouldn't like someone telling me I had to have my tubes tied, so I made sure I didn't force him to do it. At first he was against it, (mainly because of the thought of needles in the sensitive area!!) but after having the kids & talking to his doctor, he realised it was the most sensible option. Also, he was certain if I died that he still wouldn't want more kids....Give him the information, encourage him to talk to his doctor (not other blokes!!!) and then give him the power to decide.

Katie - posted on 11/21/2009

It's pretty common for men to be testy when it comes to this subject. My own hubby and I have had this discussion as well and the truth is, they're afraid. My husband was under the impression that there was no local anesthetic used during the procedure and he was afraid of the pain. Also, a lot of guys see it as losing their "manhood". He thought it was easier for the woman to get her tubes tied because at least she would be knocked out for it. That is until I reminded him of the weeks of pain and healing afterward. Try talking to your hubby and find out why he's so against it. Try to see it from his point of view, and be understanding. Maybe once you know why he's so defensive you can better tackle the subject and put his mind at ease as well as your own. :)

Sharon - posted on 11/21/2009

No blowing up on you is not normal.

1. its cheaper for men to get a vasectomy than for women to have their tubes tied

2. recovery time for men is shorter

3. Have a hysterectomy for the sake of birth control is excessive and could throw you into premature menopause

4. It is less invasive for men than it is for women.

Blowing up at you was stupid, immature and shows a sign of him having other issues, like maybe he's done having kids with you but maybe not with a future someone else.

Ashley - posted on 11/21/2009

im a 24 yr old mother off 4 my son is 8 my daughter is 3 an i have twin gurls we are in the middle of waiting for my hubby to get it done there was no question asked wether or not he was gettin it done LOL they wouldnt do my tubes as i was to young

Kimberly - posted on 11/21/2009

Am I glad you posted this. My name is Kim and I also I have three children and feel that is enough. I also asked my husband to do this after have our youngest child. (Whom now is eighteen months.) He was not happy and felt as if it would take his manhood away. It is so much cheaper for a man to have this done then a woman. The recovery is days compared to weeks. We have to have them a prevent from having them I guess. My husband is a good man I just wish he could see it from my point of view sometimes on this subject. Anyways, the answer to your question is no I do not feel you were out of line by asking him to have a snip snip. How could you know if you did not ask? Even if its not what you want to hear. Thanks

Jennifer - posted on 11/21/2009

My partner and I have 1 baby and we have both agreed that we want two children. But I told him once the second baby is born, he is going to get the snip. He did the same thing : "Err, it's surgery, why don't you get your tubes tied?!" Haha, could have smacked him one lol. I then went on to explain - 9 MONTHS of being pregnant, uncomfortable, carrying his child around, hours of labour and I had a C Section! So I had friggin major surgery!

A vasectomy is a much easier surgery and they are in and out with in a few hours.

I don't think that you were out of line at all.
:)
J
x

Marti - posted on 11/21/2009

My husband and I made a deal - If I want a tummy tuck after I'm finished with the babies, I'll get my tubal done at the same time. If I decide I don't want a tummy tuck, he's going in.

Lucy - posted on 11/21/2009

Quoting Lisa:

And why cant you get your tubes tied

It's a much more invasive procedure than a vasectomy with a longer healing process and a higher chance of complications. Plus, as Crystal points out, you could says she's done her fair share of the uncomfortable stuff carrying babies and giving birth!

Renee - posted on 11/21/2009

Maybe he is just scared about the procedure and doesn't want to admit it. Men are very funny about their "boys" down there! My husband just had a vasectomy on October 15th and said it was the most traumatic thing he has ever been through because he felt so uncomfortable with getting cut down there... completely psychological. He is just fine now and glad that he did it. We have three wonderful children and would like to keep it that way! :)

Lisa - posted on 11/21/2009

And why cant you get your tubes tied

Amber - posted on 11/21/2009

he might not like thye thought of giving it all up, but id feel the same if my partner asked me to get my tubes tied

Shyla - posted on 11/21/2009

Well I mentioned it to my hubby jokingly and he was alright. He would rather not have any kids or just one. It was probably more instinct than anything else because who wants something like that done willingly? Most men are terrified of any needles any where near that area.

Jodi - posted on 11/21/2009

My husband had it done. It is actually a very minor procedure, is safer than a tubal ligation (local vs general anaesthetic), and also has a greater success rate (1 in 200 or 300 pregnancies with a tubal, vs 1 in 2000 with a vasectomy). My husband had his done on a Friday and was back at work on the Monday, minor pain controlled by over the counter medication and a bage of frozen peas, LOL.



However, having said that, we did not have the discussion until I was pregnant with my youngest and we decided that it was the last one. I think perhaps, if you are young and still considering another child, and this isn't going to be a reality for another few years, you probably should have just left it alone. You are only just pregnant with your second, and already planning the next several years for your husband. I can kind of understand him having issue with that, he possibly sees that you are trying to control things. IMO, leave it alone until you have both decided you have finished your family, and THEN discuss your options and all the pros and cons, he may eventually come around to the idea, but seriously, I don't think you approached it correctly.

Ashley - posted on 11/21/2009

i totally agree with you. im due to have our second baby in april and our first is only a year. so i told him after the next baby is born hes getting a vasectomy. he didnt argue much tho. we agreed on two kids and really cant afford to have any more. we are young too were both 22, going to be 23 early next year. i dont think you were out of line at all. good luck!

Lucy - posted on 11/21/2009

Don't worry, he'll calm down and probably agree to it when he thinks it through properly. I think it's just a natural cave man response to the idea of losing his manly virilty!