I can’t control my 17 year old twin daughters.

Jennifer - posted on 04/29/2012 ( 61 moms have responded )

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I am single mom and I can’t control my 17yo twin daughters as they don’t feel shame or anything like it in being seen nude by their younger brothers who are 13 and 14, they always let it go by saying “they are kids”. They both are good girls, study hard, always got A+ their teacher never caomplaint anything bad about them, they attend guests never make me feel embarrassed infront of other, they also take good care of their brothers, make them do their homework, help them with the studies, just like they the are mothers of the boys and they were like this since they were kids. The only thing I worried about is how long they gonna be like this, I mean, they never tell thier brothers to go out, when they are changing clothes, it looks ok when they were kids but as they still get dressed and undressed even their brothers in room. I thought of getting them seprate room but they refuse and said they got enough privacy. They let their brothers to use toilet even if they are in shower, as both never closes bathroom door when they are in shower, I told both my sons to never go in bathroom when any of their sister is in shower not even if they have to pee but my daughters, they say “how cruel of you, you want them to hold their pee because their sister is in shower, comeon mom its painfull you know, they are little brothers.”

They never hesitate to pull off their towel, when they come out of shower even in the presence of their brothers, they even never cover themselves up front if the boys accidentally seen naked any of them.

I used to bathe them together till they were some 7 and the boys were 3and 4. But even when they grew older they never feel anything like shame or embarrassment on being their brother seen them naked, during the summers they both used to get in tub with their brothers even when the are 15 and the boys are 11 and 10 although the boys were in their underpants but both my girls go nude. They do sleep in same room though on seprate beds, they have got two beds, one shared by boys and other by girl. They are turning 18 next month and they don’t feel like they need a bit privacy.

I don’t want to say that word but I am afraid. What should I do with my girls. Is everthing alright with my girls?

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Esther - posted on 09/08/2012

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i don`t get why it would matter, their family. i don`t get why some of these parents are saying that its completely weird. lol with every cultural or family, different thoughts and decisions are made. But i couldn`t ever understand why you should be ashamed of your self phyiscally or mentally in front of your family. they are all your own flesh and blood.

Sherri - posted on 05/01/2012

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@Kimberly siblings changing in front of each other is not an issue and can not be considered criminal. Hell the girls share the same room with their brothers and they only have one bathroom.

So do you also think it is against the law for parents to be nude in front of their kids too? Sorry but your post makes me laugh.

Medic - posted on 05/01/2012

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Teaching the girls to shame their bodies is rediculous. If the boys are not comfy then they do not have to be in the room, or they can speak up. The girls do not have a lack of respect for their bodies just because they can change anywhere in the HOUSE. They are not out street walking, not striping for cash, not whoring around. Respect for ones body and shame are not interchangeable like some of you ladies are making it out to be. Most people I know that are comfy with their bodies and confident do not turn into sluts, and are not subjects of rape because someone who has confidence is more likely to tell then those that do not. The only way they are being truely disrespectful is by not "obeying" what you have asked of them.

Dove - posted on 08/23/2012

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Jean... your posts clearly show that you DON'T respect a differing view. Insinuating that people who don't agree with you are brainwashed isn't exactly respectful....

Rysxy - posted on 09/30/2012

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While I agree its a bit disturbing to have two 17 year old gilrs naked around males or their bros, there is nothing wrong as long as things don't get sexual. People need to seperate nudity from sex.

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Mia - posted on 09/08/2012

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I do not mean to be rude but for your older twin eduaghters who have no ashame in posing naked in front of there younger brother is very wrong.

Dove - posted on 08/23/2012

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*While I respect people's different viewpoints, I will disagree. This is 110% inappropriate!

*It is not appropriate on any level





Um.... means the same thing. ;)

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@Dove: I am not going to go back and forth with you. It is not your job to scold me, chastise me, or critique my posts !! I was gracious and apologized and will not have this conversation with you anymore!! But please go back and find in my posts where the words, "under any circumstances", was written.



Jean "Wildcat Fever"

Dove - posted on 08/23/2012

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Don't try and correct you? What are you talking about? You are the one that bumped up a 3.5 month old post to dog on basically anyone that allows nudity in their home... or perhaps you should reread what you wrote ...



I don't care how you do it in your home, but you said nothing about if someone is uncomfortable with it then it isn't ok (which I'm pretty sure EVERYONE would agree with that boundary). You flat out said it isn't ok under any circumstance for anyone. Period.



*While I respect people's different viewpoints, I will disagree. This is 110% inappropriate!

*It is not appropriate on any level

*We have really changed our moral standards in this country so much that we may have gotten off track a bit.

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@ Dove, don't you try to correct me either. But to everyone, I apologize if did a contradiction. I must be fair and square. I think somewhere, I did make the remark that families can practice what is good for them.

What I meant in my post when I used the words, brainwashing and gullible, was to say that if our daughters don't feel comfortable allowing dad and brother to see their breasts, that we must and should respect their feelings, and not try to brainwash them.

When a child is uncomfortable with nudity, then it IS inappropriate to force what we like just because we are the adults.

My mother walked around comfortably without clothes. My dad kept his parts private. We children grew up keeping our parts private.

We must also not say that it is okay for the females in the family to let it all hang out and then dad wants to hide his parts, That's a big unfair situation, and a big contradiction, and a big hypocritical way to be.

Besides all that, we must stop calling people ,Victorian, prudish, old-fashioned, and ashamed,

just because they choose to not be naked in front of family members. Now that is wrong.

Francine - posted on 08/23/2012

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I've never felt uncomfortable naked around my boys, now this being said, why would you put all kids in the same bedroom especially with the age difference? I think since they all share a bedroom maybe the girls think there's nothing to it, hence why they behave that way. If you want your girls to start having some modesty around the house and some respect for others and themselves maybe it would be time they get their own room(s). There's no need to send your boys to boarding school, they all just need their own rooms.

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@Sherri, I respect your right to different views, but I won't allow my teen boys to see me naked, any more than my husband would allow our teen daughters to see him naked. That's the way it goes in our house and people must respect our positions, just as we respect their positions. All our friends and relatives practice the same custom.

Jean 4:04 p.m. 8/21/12

Sherri - posted on 08/21/2012

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Yes Jean I would!!!! My boys see me naked everyday and they are 15 & 13 and my 6yr old son still showers with me. I breastfeed my baby in public, have a male OB/GYN and had 3 people in the delivery room with me when the miracle of my children were born. NO they weren't looking at my body they were looking at the miracle of a child being born.

I have also had the great honor of witnessing two births as well. I don't remember my cousin & friends body parts I do remember getting to see the little one arriving into the world. The most amazing thing anyone could ever witness male or female.

[deleted account]

Jean 8/21/12 "Wildcat Fever is Catching"



I am still wondering how you moms and your husbands would react, if it was say, 15 year old and 13 year old boys, walking around the house daily, with genitals exposed in front of their say,16 and 14 year old sisters. Would you all then say it's no big deal? Would you??



Listen people, no person can tell a family what to do in their own homes. But, we have always had rules and codes of modesty and decency in this country. People, there are boundaries for intimate, private times. But just like other areas where we are trying to "go with the times," we have started easing those rules little by little. However, most times the rules are eased at the detriment of the woman. The woman is always the one that we tell to get nude:) Am I right or wrong about that? You all know it's true!! Do you see doctors allowing the female relatives in the room when the men get their prostates checked, or their vasectomies done?? Hah!



Simply put, we have groups and organizations that promote the displaying of breasts, with the excuse that they are only fatty appendages to feed babies and that vaginas are non sexual when a baby comes out!! We have also begun to convince naive females that it is okay to allow their dads, brothers, uncles, fathers in law, and grandpas into the delivery room, justifying it by saying that they are excited about the baby and that birth is only natural and that a female is selfish if she doesn't allow all these people into the birth space. We convince her and say it is okay to watch her give birth, watch her latch her baby onto her breast, watch the vaginal area as the doctor does the episiotomy, and just hang around in the delivery room where intimate things are going on. And you're darn tootin' they are watching her body!!. A picture of her nude body will be forever etched in their minds. What I want to know is where are these females' mothers??



Now, we are brainwashing our gullible and physically developed daughters into believing, that it is okay to walk around the house naked in front of dad, stepdad, and brothers. Then we label the people who are against this lax in nudity, as old fashioned, anti-male, and prudish. How typical of people, when they can't get all females to be brainwashed.



Does anyone besides me see what is happening with this new nudity campaign? Anyone?

Janet - posted on 08/21/2012

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I don't think that being naked equals sexuality. Many families are comfortable with this and it doesn't mean there is any sexual connotation attached to it. However, if there is any concern that there is more to it than just being comfortable then I'd have an issue with it.

Sherri - posted on 08/19/2012

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@Kimberly well since I am nude in front of my kids every single day 15 & 13yr old boys and I shower with my 6yr old boy still. We have a very small house with 6 people in it. There is sometimes no option but to see one another naked as 6 people need to get ready in the mornings at the same time w/1 bathroom.

No I don't have an issue with family nudity in the least it is perfectly normal. I as a teenager saw my parents nude all the time. It was perfectly normal. I would be fine w/it.

Also I am well versed on the foster care rules as my very best friends are foster care parents and fostering to adopt. They made the brother & sister share a room 11 & 9yrs old until they could acclimate to their new surroundings. I was their when they had one of the meetings shortly after the kids moved in and they did a home check and were pleased the kids shared a room.

Different states have different rules even within Gov't agencies as to the ages for separate genders sharing a bdrm. My state HAS no such law about opposite genders sharing a bdrm and can until adulthood if you so choose. But I am in NH and they don't even have a seatbelt law, helmet law or mandatory car insurance either. They also don't have any laws about leaving a child in a car unattended either.

Being nude within the family regardless of gender is also not borderline criminal anywhere as long as you are just doing everyday normal things. Nudity has nothing to do w/criminal activity. If a pedophile is a pedophile it has zero to do w/the fact they saw someone changing or getting in the shower. They were sick long before that.

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@Sherri sorry Im just reading your post. An adult being exposed in front of a minor is borderline criminal activity depending on the true nature of the act. Would you feel this way if the boys were the older siblings instead of the girls? If this were their parents? Check your laws. By the way, ignorance of the law is no excuse. They still prosecute you. Im sorry you laugh, but I think you should try to google a show that Oprah did on men who were abused at young ages that included members within their immediate family to include siblings.
Listen to what you asked me "Do you think it is against the law for parents to be nude in front of their kids too?" Now I ask you, "How would you feel if you walked in on your Husband and your teenage age daughter nude in the bedroom?" In addition, their are certain rules within government agencies that restrict the occupancy of bedrooms to only the same sex and even then the age between the same sex must be within limits. I know hard to believe and maybe not so closely followed.
Lets be honest, their own mother asked was something wrong with her daughters. I know this seems like a story thats about siblings who are very comfortable around each other. But because we can never be sure, there are standards and codes that we humans have agreed upon in order to protect those who are placed in similar situations that are not so innocent. Keep laughing while their are many who are crying and dying.

[deleted account]

While I respect people's different viewpoints, I will disagree. This is 110% inappropriate! I am amazed at how many posts say it is okay for two 17 year old, grown, and fully developed females with breasts,to be naked in front of their teenaged brothers.
It is not appropriate on any level, and there is no person on this earth who can tell me that these boys don't look, and think about the fact that their sisters are developed. We have really changed our moral standards in this country so much that we may have gotten off track a bit.
Without talking down or being mean, to anyone, I want to say that these girls should not be doing this. This is some of the reason so many girls invite their dads and FILs into the delivery room. In summation: I have a question. Mom (OP), would you, and the other commentors be okay if the boys were the ones to walk around completely naked all the time?

Sally - posted on 05/07/2012

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Your post suggests to me that you are uncomfortabe with this. I think that your gut is telling you somethimg, listen to it and face your deep down concerns. Then deal with it as you see fit.

Sherri - posted on 05/07/2012

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@Diane there is actually no law in any state in the US that states children of different genders can not share a bedroom.

Not to mention in some situations DCYS doesn't even care regardless of age. My friends are fostering to adopt and DCYS wanted the brother and sister to actually share a bedroom till they adapted they are 9yr old girl and 11yr old boy.

So although they do this where you are for SS that is not the case everywhere. It is only ever an issue anyways unless for some reason the state is involved in your family. Also they can not remove children from a home because they don't all have their own bedrooms regardless of gender. Of course the rules for this go out the window if you are talking about foster parents. There is a total different set of rules for foster parents in most cases.

Diane - posted on 05/07/2012

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@ Sherri yes it does apply--they can share until a certain age then MUST have different rooms....I work for SS and have seen them go into homes and count rooms and beds ....

Megan - posted on 05/06/2012

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Sounds to me like you are worried about way too much. I agree with the whole nudity thing, but I think you might be interjecting yourself into the girls' social lives a bit much. Don't worry, they won't pass up the chance when they meet a boy they want to date, no need for you to call their parents and spread the good word about them. The way you raised them (obviously responsible and caring) will speak bigger volumes about them. Just focus on yourself and making sure that the bills are paid and the needs of the kids are met.
You don't need to send the boys to boarding school. You have a spare bedroom, use it. Why cram 4 people into a room and leave one open, just in case you have guests? Guests can sleep on the couch or an inflatable bed and be perfectly fine. Instead, how about you have a talk with the boys first and ask what they think and how they feel about it. Then talk to the girls and share what the boys told you, then have a family meeting where everyone gets to speak up and have a fair say with no reprecussions. Then, tell them that you would like to do something about this and move either the girls or the boys into the spare bedroom and tell them that it would be a help TO YOU if they respect it.
And give yourself some credit. Obviously you aren't a complete idiot. You are doing what you have to to get by for your kids. There is nothing to be ashamed about with that and you are probably much smarter than you give credit for. Just because you work a mindless job doesn't mean you are mindless. Trust me, I've worked more than one in my time, you aren't as stupid as the work makes you feel.

Vicki - posted on 05/04/2012

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Ahhh that makes sense I didn't really think there could be a law about room setups within families that aren't controlled by the state. I'm actually surprised at the responses to this topic to be honest, I never would have thought it was a big deal, or even a small deal. Like you Sherri, I don't see it as any different to kids seeing their parents undressed. Assuming everyone's behaving naturally and normally so what?

Sherri - posted on 05/04/2012

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@Diane that only applies if you have a foster child or for some reason social services is involved in your family. There actually is no actual law that says children on different genders can't share a room.

Vicki - posted on 05/04/2012

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If there's nothing sexual going on, and the boys are ok with it, what's the problem? My brother and I never had any modesty around each other and we turned out fine. I would see if the boys are uncomfortable and if they are fine, then don't make a mountain out of a molehill. Sounds like you have some fantastic well adjusted teenagers.

@Diane I can't believe there is legislation about boys and girls sharing rooms. What if there isn't enough rooms? Penalise the less wealthy much?

Diane - posted on 05/04/2012

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Where do you live?? I know that in our state boys and girls are not allowed to share a room..per SS

Pamela - posted on 05/03/2012

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First, sit down and explain to your daughters why you don't want them to be nude around your sons. Have a discussion about it all. Then sit down with your sons and ASK THEM (don't tell them your feelings first) what they think about it. If the boys are fine with it, then accept that you are the one who is upset and work on adjusting your attitude.

If the boys are UNCOMFORTABLE then set a house rule and stick with it. IMPOSE penalties for the girls breaking the rule. Then stick to your guns!

Ebere - posted on 05/03/2012

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Unless there is some other reason for putting them in boarding school, I don't see the need and also since there is a SPARE room in the house, there is also no need to ask them or the boys about it..just move one group to the spare room..the members of the house and their needs are more important than guests.. What if you were living in a 2 bedroom apartment, would you save one room for guests and you all share the other?? Just move either the boys or the girls to the spare room, talking about it might make some uncomfortable..anyway that's just my opinion

Misty - posted on 05/03/2012

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Jennifer
Nothing is wrong with them and you can do as you want but moving the boys to a boarding schools sounds unfair to them. IMO lay the law down on your daughters you are the mom what you say goes period. They are 17 and under your roof also ask the boys in private how they feel they may say something different with out thier sister present. Alos tell them if they are in the room and thier sisater come in to change they need to leave if they don't lay the law down on them too. they are old enough to know this.
good luck shug

Jennifer - posted on 05/03/2012

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Firstly, I would really like to thank you all for seeing into my problem.

I am thinking of moving boys into a boarding school, so that girls would get sometime for themselves
I also realized that it was my fault that I never took a notice of my girls, that they grew up so fast in respect to their age. I never talked about it to any of their teacher or school counselor or adult authorities or father of the church because I thought it would be like degrading for my girls. I even know that if my girls see this post they will likely to lose all the trust they have in me.
I have also told the girls to tell me if they like some guy and I would talk to their parents about them and I have also called some of my good friends and relatives to see some good guys, if my girls like them, I will get them married. I am also ageing day after day and I don’t want my daughters to end up alone or careing for the boys all their life.
I am not much educated like most of the ladies here, I work in package dept. of a chemical plant but I have tried my best to get al my kids the best educational qualifications, I raised them with manners and etiquettes, and I have always see to it that my kids never feel like they don’t have father but now I think it wasn’t enough.
A couple of days ago a friend of mine, who works with me, came to visit us. One of my girl was changing her clothes while the boys were in the same room, she asked about it, I told her what told here, she said something is wrong with kids and I should see into it.

thankyou, ladies

Jenny

Megan - posted on 05/02/2012

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And Eve, yes, they are forcing their nudity on the boys. They aren't asking the boys to leave the room when they come out of the shower, they aren't even bothering to cover themselves when they are changing, nothing. Doesn't matter if they are masterbating with their brothers in the room. If the boys are in any way uncomfortable with what the girls are doing, that's WRONG. Doesn't matter what YOU think, its what these boys think.

Megan - posted on 05/02/2012

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I think the OP needs to come back and answer these things. You can't post something like this talking about how your daughters are out of control and talk about this situation, get resistance, defend everything like everyone is attacking you when you started the topic of conversation, then run away. I have unanswered questions here.
Are you asking your sons if they are ok with what your daughters are doing? Why are you posting about it when you seem ok with it? have to made sure to hammer home that they can't be doing this when they move out and go off to college for fear of putting them in compromising situations? Are you telling them there is always a time and a place for everything and they need to start learning modesty?
And by the way, modesty doesn't mean they should take shame in their bodies. It means they should be covering up when people might be uncomfortable. They should be conscious (sp?) of how others feel and respect that. If they are making others uncomfortable, they need to take that into consideration and put on at least a bath robe.
I don't see a single person here telling you that its bad that your daughters are so comfortable in their skin and have such confidence. But they need to respect others too. They insist that the boys are just kids, but really, they aren't anymore. The boys are turning into full blown teenagers. Its an akward enough stage. Who knows? They might feel totally different than the girls, but not know how to bring it up. But I don't see anyone bringing up the welfare of the boys, just the girls. Think about it, they are all in one room, is there not even a sheet for anyone to change behind? If you have a spare bedroom, you should really be moving two of the kids into there rather than forcing them all to be in the same room. Let the kids (ALL FOUR) decide rather than just thinking that since the girls say its ok, that it really is.
There are a lot of layers here and it bugs me to no end that so many are saying that "its healthy for the girls to be doing this, there's no shame!" when they aren't even thinking about the boys and how they might feel? They might want some space. Nothing wrong with that, just time to respect their wishes too.

Ebere - posted on 05/02/2012

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@Sherrie she mentioned a spare room which they decided would be kept for guests as a guestroom

Sherri - posted on 05/02/2012

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@Ebere she already stated she doesn't have any other bedrooms. She only lives in a 2 bdrm.

Ebere - posted on 05/02/2012

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They could continue as they are, no problem with that, but I'd insist on seperate bedrooms.. BTW your kids seem wonderful..you're a very lucky woman

Ebere - posted on 05/02/2012

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Though its no biggie, I think you should enforce the seperate room thing..the girls are becoming women, the boys are becoming men..if the girls have to do some girly stuff like change a tampon, remove stained undies or whatever, will the boys seriously be comfortable in there? Likewise the boys..when they start to masturbate or do boy stuff, do the girls have to be there??they are not kids anymore and boys and girls should have seperate rooms now that they are becoming adults

Eve - posted on 05/01/2012

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@Kimberly Stealing is also a crime and illegal for all ages, so if a member of family steals cookies from the jar at home, then according to womens like Kimberly the person should be put behind the bars, cause committing a crime.

These girs are not masturbating infront of underage kids nor they are forcing nudity on thier brother, so why are you putting allegation of adultery on the girls. There girls are continuously sacrificing themselves for the sake of family and their mother, in the age when they were supposed to play with dolls they were babysitting their brothers as the mother is out for earning bread for the family, in the age when other girls use to discover themselves, these girls were taking care of brothers and home, when the other girls used to have fun with boyfriend and gossips with girlfriends, 90% of the girls loses their virginity before coming to age of 16, these girls are about to go 18 and they don’t have boyfriends cause they are busy in earning money to support their mother and family. What do you think, these girls are not even got right to feel this much free in their own home.



For us ladies it is very easy to raise a family when we have our husband to support us, but for a young single mother life is very hard, and these girls have tried to help and support their mother as best as they could be, and you want call cops on them just because they feel comfortable in being naked around the brothers.

She is a mother she should have get worried about her daughters, I can understand that, but telling her that her daughters are commiting a crime, as they allow their younger brothers to use toilet when they are in shower or dressing infront of brothers while they were in the same room or sharing a room with brothers on the demand of situation is not correct.why?

@Megan boys are comfortable with it, as kids grows their understanding also grows, I don't think suddenly they will ever start thinking their sisters as other girls

Roberta - posted on 05/01/2012

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You should have put them in separate rooms a long time ago, and taught your girls to have respect first for your wishes (you are the mom), secondly for themselves (modesty is almost a lost asset for both women and men) and thirdly for those little boys. You have made some poor choices in the past as a mom by not teaching your daughters the value of self-respect and teaching them too (since they are "in charge" often of your sons) the struggles that young men go through as a natural process of development. The fact is that a boys eyes don't need to be looking at an unrelated woman to have a physiological (sexual) reaction to nakedness. Human beings are sexual beings and they are (extremely few are) gender neuter. I would imagine that this issue is not the only issue that you and your daughter's don't see eye to eye on, with them getting the upper hand. I would suggest that perhaps you should get some help from either your church if you are connected in that way, or from a school counselor. Even adult and family services from your state, if you live in America wouldn't, condone this behavior and being a 'single parent,' doesn't excuse you as their mother from taking the steps necessary for them to respect your standards while in your home--if nothing else as an example for your two younger children who because of their gender, face a much more cruel and hurtful condemnation from the world they are growing into as a result of having their sexuality awakened by their sisters. I hope you will consider this a serious matter for all, and each, of your children and take steps to remedy it for their good.

Cameo - posted on 05/01/2012

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I can see your fear but it is more you controlling something that you cannot. I laughed when I read this because most girls at 17 do not want anyone to see them naked. Hormone levels run different in all kids. My kids saw me naked and each other all the time until they were self conscious about them self. I still respect them and not run around naked but if I have somewhere to go or want to take a bath with the door open, I do. Some of our best conversations are when one is on the toilet or in the tub. There is just no thought about each other in that way. Now my kids toward eachother are different. I have a son and two daughters. My youngest is 16 and she is just starting to not lock the bathroom door or cringe every time she is afraid of someone seeing her in under ware. She is starting to like herself better. My 22 year old is walking through the house in her under ware now. It is funny but brother and sisters they are and the only one who is stressing about it is you. As a mother you know the kids that have high level of androgens (male hormones) or estrogen (female hormones) and the ones that should be watched. If you feel there is something there then control it but if not don’t worry about it. Chill out unless you see erections or the boys being agitated don’t worry. The body is beautiful and shame is why people cover up and if your girls have no shame it might be a good thing.
Cameo

Megan - posted on 05/01/2012

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Yea, encourage this more, please. What happens when the boys tell their friends this happens and teachers overhear and it ends up in the hands of authorities like the police? Kimberly is right, your girls can be charge with exposure to a minor.
Why isn't anyone considering the boys and their feelings at all? Everyone is so concerned with the girls and what they are doing, but no one is paying attention to the needs and feelings of the boys. Let's think about this for a second. This mother has FOUR children, not just two. Do you treat your kids like this a lot? The girls get all the attention and no one bothers asking the boys what they think or how they feel?

Misty - posted on 05/01/2012

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To me it sounds like it bothers you more than them. When u say out of control I think they are being horrible. Are the boys acting strange is it embrassing to them? Yes it seems odd they do this just it also seems like they are comfortable with thier BROTHERS. If they are doing in approiate things in front of them or to them then thats concern. Just have a family meeting and tell all 4 that this bothers you and get separate rooms. YOU are the mom it sems since they have caed for them as you said you are a single parent they probably feel as tho thier brothers are like thier own and thats why they dont get embrassed. Ma'am no offensive but this is not OUT of control.

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You did say they were out of control and by that I think you realize that they no longer respect you as a mother. They consider themselves as mothers to the boys. Truly a bad decision on your part. Although theirs nudity is accepted by you, it is considered unethical and borderline criminal. Nudity exposure to minors is illegal. Your girls are old enough to be charged as an adult with this crime. Further more, this behavior could have been eliminated a long time ago. When were they taught about good touch bad touch? This conversation would have included exsposure as well. The fact that this is still going on is evidence of secrets within your family. I say this because at some point the friends of your girls or boys would have told them how inappropriate their nudity is, whether jokingly or not. Honestly, you know that it is wrong or you would not have asked. Keep listening to those who think this is pure and normal, but you never know who is on the other end of this computer...

Diane - posted on 05/01/2012

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They are 17--modesty is taught at a young age...Thid training should have started then--we cannot expect to have rexpectiful teens if they are not taught respect growing up...

Eve - posted on 05/01/2012

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As you said your daughters are taking care of you sons since a long time ago and like a mother, so I thing they maybe looking this nudity as a perceptive of mother in other words like a mother that’s why they not feel uncomfortable in being naked infront of their brothers.

As I mother I never feel uncomfortable getting naked infront of my sons, they are 15 and 12, sometimes even my sisters sons who are also about the age of my has seen me nude, I never felt ashamed of it. even, my sons saw my sister naked a couples of time, my sister never complaint anything. Till the age of 14 we both used to skinny dip with our brothers and cousins, accident or no accident our brothers have seen us naked many times till the age of 20, none of us ever felt anything creepy or pervted ever.

So you don’t worry, there is nothing bad gonna happen, and if the word you are afraid of is incest, then I would like to tell you mostly and usually it happen in between step relations like stepson and stepmother, step daughter and stepfather or step brother and step sister.
Your kids sounds very good to me, so you don’t need to worry about anything

Megan - posted on 05/01/2012

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I love how everyone who says there is no problem with it isn't taking into consideration the other people in the room, not just the person who is walking around in their underthings or less. Its great that you have that level of comfort, but what about others? Maybe the brothers are starting to become less comfortable with it but are afraid of being made fun of or being told they are perverted because they aren't comfortable with it anymore. You don't know unless you sit everyone down and have an honest and open conversation.
And just because so far they only do it at home doesn't mean they will always be this way. In college, you get a very high level of comfort with your room mates and that could lead to this continuing. Its not about body image. Its great if you have that comfort with your body. But you have to at some point start taking other's upbringings and feelings into account. You can't go shoving everything you feel off on everyone else and expect them to be 100% ok with it. Plus it could turn into a safety issue. I don't think anyone wants to allow something that could turn into a safety issue.
If you don't want help with the topic, you shouldn't post unless you are trying to start drama. You don't see anything wrong with it, why did you post about wanting to control your daughters? Doesn't make a lick of sense to me.

Stifler's - posted on 04/30/2012

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And I agree with Medic just because they are comfortable at home doesn't mean they leave the door open or get naked in front of any old person.

Stifler's - posted on 04/30/2012

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What's the big deal if you don't think anything sexual is going on? I thought you might have been concerned about that but from your reply apparently not. They grew up sharing a room with their brothers whom don't stare or make a big deal when they are naked so why would they suddenly be uncomfortable?

Medic - posted on 04/30/2012

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If they are at home I still fail to see the issue. Why create shame where no shame should be? Just because they do it around family does not mean they are going to do it around strangers at college. I think you and some of these other moms are reaching for straws to find something wrong with it. My kids see me naked, anyone that happens to be in the room when I say I am going to change leave now or forever hold your peace sees me change. It happens, people get naked, oh freaking well.

Caroline - posted on 04/30/2012

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I wouldn't worry too much about it. Brothers and sisters naturally have a "yuck, why would I see them like that?" factor built into their brain when they are raised together. Sometimes this goes astray but it doesn't sound like there is anything "wrong" going on here. Multiple kids and one bathroom is going to result in a lot of crossover. I experienced this growing up as well. As long as there is a shower curtain I wouldn't worry too much. I remember specifically sneaking a peak at my brother just to see what was there, but I wasn't exactly scarred by it, that's natural I think, and this was before the internet.

Personally I would have a serious conversation with your daughters about boys and puberty. They don't understand what boys go through. The boys are going to start masturbating soon, if they haven't already. You can't just walk into a room anymore! They are going to get erections over nothing. How uncomfortable would it be for the boys to have a sudden erection around their naked sisters? While no one is doing anything wrong, it might make them feel weird about themselves. Some boys would wonder if they are perverts for example. So, I would have a conversation with the girls about private space, knocking on doors, etc. If you make the conversation about "how boys are different" rather than about how it's inappropriate as a girl to be naked around boys, you will probably get a much different response from them.

[deleted account]

I'd say how amazing that these girls are so comfortable with their natural bodies that they have no shame. How beautiful is that. You have created a home where people are comfortable to be. I don't see a problem here either. Being naked is our natural state, clothes were only intended to keep us warm not to create shame about our bodies. Enjoy your family, you have done an awesome job.

I agree with Sherri, its only a big deal if you make it one.

Sherri - posted on 04/30/2012

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I just don't see what the problem is. My 15 & 13yr old still see me naked every day and they are boys. My 6yr old son still showers with me. They all see their dad naked too. I just don't see the big deal with not being ashamed of their bodies in front of family.

I saw my dad and mom naked till I was an adult too. Eh it wasn't a big deal. It wouldn't be even now if I did. I used to see my grandmother naked too we would get dressed in the same room when I was a teen.

To me it is only a big deal if you make it one.

Jane - posted on 04/30/2012

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I personally would feel uncomfortable with their lack of self-consciousness in front of the boys, but in the context of them sharing a bedroom and their caring relationship with the boys I'd not get too worried about it. That being said it probably is time there were some rules on covering up, as the boys are becoming young men.

In some ways I wish I was more like them as we were always far more hung up about nudity and propriety in our house and even at my age find undressing in front of people very difficult and embarrassing

Rebecca - posted on 04/30/2012

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The big must is own rooms and a lock on the bathroom door, they need to learn that its not right to get undressed while their brothers are around, I'm only 19 and I won't get ready infront of my lad or my daughter, just explain that they need to respect themselves coz it sounds like they don't and they need to learn it for later in life

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